Severe Cuteness

These are just some random photos from the last couple days. I was going to caption all of them, but it's late, and I think you all know who is who by now.
For VBS, Matt was a crazy mad scientist. The kids have been wearing his wig and glasses all the time.

Getting ready!!

We are headed out for vacation next weekend. I'm getting really excited.
We'll be camping and visiting with all my in laws. All of Matt's immediate family, and his grandma and aunt. Also, some family friends will be there. So very exciting!
We haven't been camping since Zachy was a baby. And he managed to get pneumonia on that trip. How fun to go from the campsite to the ER.
We are also going to The Great Wolf Lodge on our way home. This is a huge birthday surprise for all the kids. I am super duper excited about that. They are going to have a blast. Last Sunday, we went to a pool with water slides. Zachy and Collin were too little to go on the slides and they were so sad about it. I'm excited to be able to go somewhere where they can slide.
We have lots to do to get ready, but it's all so fun!

The bush

My house desperately needs some cleaning, and I don't wanna do it! That was me stomping my feet like a two year old.
I have no energy. I think I'm still recovering from VBS. I can pretend anyway!
I really have nothing interesting to say, I just don't want to do anything.
I do have a crazy story though.
In between our house and the neighbor's is a big hedge. When we first moved in the neighbor told me, "don't touch that hedge, it hides my truck". Oky doky. Since we rent I had no intention of touching the hedge.
Yesterday though, our landlord had a different idea. He started hacking away at it. Now, understand that this was a leafy hedge, and very tall. To prune it you would have needed a tall ladder. Now, it is about 3 feet high. And of course, the tops are all naked. No biggie, it will fill back in.
Last night, the neighbor came pounding at out door. He wanted to know who did it. He was fuming mad. And how stupid. I mean really, we rent, we have no say over what the landlord can and cannot do to his yard! We don't particularly like it because now we can see all the neighbor's junk. But, it isn't ours, so we can't complain! Oh man, you would have thought that this bush was gold or something, the way the neighbor was going on and on about it!
Then later, Matt had to run an errand. When he came home he said, "did you hear S**** yelling at me?" He had let into Matt about how the bush was on the property line and as much his as it was our landlord's. Which, isn't true, it is clearly in our yard. He said he'd be reporting it to the home owner's association and he'd be in big trouble. He also said he was going to come and chop it down at the trunk.
OK, people..have you gotten it? It's a BUSH!!! For heaven's sake, Matt and I cannot believe that people would get so worked up about a bush! And one that doesn't belong to them!!
So, the landlord came to finish today. I told him and his wife what had taken place. The landlord says, let him cut it down, I'll sue him. And funny enough, our landlord is the architectural person for the home owner's association. Apparently, he owns 4 houses in this subdivision that he rents. I thought we were the only ones in here.
I just think the whole this is so funny. A bush. S**** just doesn't like it because now you can see all his junk. I don't like it because now I can see them! But I'm not going to make a fuss over it! Petty stuff, folks!
We'll see what the neighbor has to say this evening when he gets home from work. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if he had stayed home from work today to give the landlord an earful. We had told him that our landlord would be back to finish up, so we really expected him to stay home. That's how upset he was.
OK, now I really must go clean. I still don't wanna!!
Have a great weekend everyone!

Technology amazes me

Awhile ago, I wrote about the results of Zachy's carelink.
It is absolutely amazing to me the things we are able to do in this day and age.
First, it is crazy to think that there is a gadget, embedded in his chest that is making his heart beat correctly.
And then, to be able to do these carelinks. We hook this machine up to the phone line, he puts a disc over the pacemaker, and all the information is drawn out and sent to the dr.
CRAZY!
The dr was talking about how they are working on biological pacemakers right now. He said in Zachy's lifetime, he thinks they will be able to implant a microchip into his heart, and it will work as the pacemaker. AND..it wouldn't have a battery to wear out, or lead wires to break. How cool that would be!
Yes, technology is definitely amazing!

A bit loco

Our VBS was a joint effort between our church and the spanish church that rents part of our building.
The kids were split about half and half between hispanic and white.
After being with hispanic kids for 3 hours every day for a week, and spending much time afterwards playing with new friends, my kids have only managed to pick up the word "loco".
And they keep using it. Nonstop.
Everyone is loco. Everything is loco. It's all pretty loco around here!

And Just Like That..

The week has come to an end.
Tonight is the last night of VBS. Tomorrow is our "graduation" program. I don't really know why we are calling it that, it isn't like anyone is graduating. Oh well, for lack of a better word I guess.
I've decided VBS is like Christmas. You spend months and months planning it. You dream about it. You worry about it. And just like that, it's over. This week has been so fast.
It has been awesome. Seriously. I had my doubts. I didn't even really want to do VBS this year. But my wonderful husband insisted. And he knew best. I am so glad we pushed on and did it.
I just filled out 58 certificates for tomorrow. Our largest VBS by far. Of course, we did join forces with the Spanish church who rents part of our church. But still, we almost doubled in size from last year.
I'm already looking forward to next year. I know though, that the excitement will wear off and we'll get busy with something else, and then VBS will sneak up on us once again.
The best part of all is that we've had several kids this year who had never met Jesus. Now, because of VBS, they know who He is! Awesome, awesome, awesome.
And now, I'll leave you with the lyrics of what seems to be the favorite VBS song this year. Just based on how the kids scream for it every night!
It's simple, with a powerful message.

Get up, Get up.
Get up and tell the world.
Get up, Get up.
Some people haven't heard.
That Jesus paid the price,
So we could have eternal life.
Get up, Get up,
get up and tell the world.

Day one = SUCCESS!

Every year, VBS is stressful. This year has been so much less stressful than normal. I don't know if it is because we are just getting used to it, and better at directing, or if it is because we've delegated a bunch this year. Probably a bit of both.
I have been less than enthused about the theme this year. And therefore, haven't gotten into as much as last year. I'm chompin at the bit for next year! It will be a bayou theme and it looks so cool. This year though, it's PowerLab. The kids enjoyed last night, but I tell ya, it's just hard. Decorating has been the hardest. But, it all came together.
I'm directing the preschool this year, so I'm not able to see any of the other action going on. Matt says it's going well.
When I see pictures like this, I know it is all worth it. And yes, that is my son who does not have his eyes closed in prayer. Goofball!



I cannot tell you how I feel when I witness kids learning more about our Lord. When I hear them singing, "Holy, Holy,". When I see them praying. It is one of the most awesome feelings in the world. And THAT is why we do this every year.

12 years

I know on this day you would expect an entry about how Matt and I have been so happily married for 14 years. And it's true, we have. Wouldn't trade a minute of it, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with my one true love.
BUT...we got news yesterday that seems to be more important!! Maybe not more important, but so very, very great!
Yesterday, we did a Carelink on Zachy. If you don't feel like clicking on that link, I'll just tell you what that is! It is the monitor that pulls the information from Zachy's pacemaker out, through the phone line, and sends it to the Doctor. Genius invention, I tell ya! Dr Bush emailed me yesterday to say things looked great, and that after adjusting the energies at his last appointment, Zachy's battery should last 8.5 years! That means he'll be TWELVE years old when it's time to change it!
I cannot even begin to tell you how this makes me feel. I want to cry every time I think of it. Tears of joy. When they originally put it in, it was showing it would only last 3 years. This is such great, great news.
My kids are the toughest kids I know. They are my heroes. It breaks my heart to think of all they've been through. The other night, Zachy finished his aspirin (another HOORAY!) and he said, "oh good, now can I go get this thing out?" It about killed me. But normally, it doesn't bother him at all, and he is such a strong little trooper.
So yeah, 14 years of wonderful marriage, and excellent news about Zachy. Makes for some great days!!

I've come a long way

We had planned for 60 kids to come to VBS this year.
We currently have 50 kids registered, and the likelihood of 10 more. Which doesn't include anyone who might wait to register till the first night.
In years past I would be super stressed right now.
But this year, I've said, "OK God, this is your VBS, You make it work" And I believe He will.
It will all work out in the end.
And I'm not stressed about it.
OK, maybe a wee tiny bit, but not too bad.

These days...

These days I'd likely lose my head if it weren't attached.
My mind has been so consumed with VBS that it has little room left for anything else.
Last night, I remembered that the geneticist had said she was going to order some tests for the boys. She wrote it all down on a business card, with her email address on it.
You can see where this is going, can't you?
I completely forgot about the tests. I don't know what happened yesterday to job my memory, but it was jogged. No one has called to schedule the tests, and when I called to try and schedule a different appointment for Matthew, they didn't have the referral. The referral would have come from the same doctor who ordered the other tests. Boy, did that make any sense? Let me try again. The geneticist ordered tests for all the boys, and also referred Matthew to plastic surgery to get him hooked into the craniofacial clinic. When I called plastic surgery there was no referral. There, that's better.
So, the problem with all of this is, I can't find her card, so now I'll have to jump through some hoops to get connected with her again. It isn't as easy as picking up the phone and calling straight through...unless you have that CARD!! ARGH!!
It seems to be a trend these days. I can't remember the simplest things. But, I can remember how many kids are registered, what decorations we have and what we still need, and all the names of our helpers.
I guess my brain is only capable of holding so much information at a time!

Holland

This poem was originally written by a mother with a Down's child. But it works well for any special need. I have loved this since having Matthew, and over the years, I've gone travelling more around Holland, into many more unfamiliar areas. But, it's been good.
I had never seen the follow up, which I posted here. It is just as good as the original.
Thanks for posting these, Maria

Welcome To Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a
disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience
to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation
trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn
some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess
comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm
supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,
disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a
different
place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have
met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you
look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and
Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I
had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the
loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to
Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
...
about Holland

-------------THIS IS THE FOLLOW UP ON THAT POEM-------------------------------

Celebrating Holland - I'm Home

I have been in Holland for a while now. It has become home. I have had time
to catch my breath, to settle in and adjust, and to accept this different trip
than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years when I first landed in Holland and remember
clearly my shock, my fear, my anger. In those first few years, I tried to
get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can
say how far I have come on this unexpected journey, how much I have learned
about Holland. But it has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language, and I
slowly found my way around in Holland. I met others whose plans had changed like
mine and who could share my experience. Some of these fellow travellers had been
in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way.
Many have encouraged me and have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and
gifts to behold in this new land. We supported one another, some have become
very special friends, and I have discovered a community of caring. Holland
isn't so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travellers like me and has become a
land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, assist, and support newcomers.
Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed
in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as
rewarding? Would I have learned the important lessons I benefit from today?

Sure, this journey has been challenging and at times I would (and still do)
stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is
slower paced and less flashy that Italy, but this, too, has been an
unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down and look closer at things, with a new
appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland. I have discovered that it
doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of
your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special things that Holland has
to offer. I have come to love Holland and call it home.

Yes, I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this
destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

Busy days

Next week is VBS.
As usual, we still have loads to do. Although, I have to say, this year we don't have as much to do as last year. We have been much better at delegating this year.
In case you were wondering, we were able to order the crafts that we needed. They promised they'd be here in time. I certainly hope so.
Friday is our Anniversary. Fourteen sweet years. Because of VBS and how busy we are, I don't think we are even doing anything to celebrate, which is kind of sad. It's usually the one day a year we are able to go on a date. We did go to see Phantom though, so that counts.
In rather sad news, Matthew has been complaining about his eye hurting. This would indicate that his drop is no longer working. *sigh* I hope that isn't the case. I don't know what else it would be, but one can hope, right? If it persists, we'll have to make an appointment and get his pressure checked. Right now, he's only complained about it 3-4 times in the last 2 weeks. Is that too much? I don't know.
It seems like I had a lot more to tell you all. I sat down and started this entry several hours ago. I keep getting interrupted, and have totally lost my train of thought.
Ah well..such is life.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Unless they look like this!



Last night, we were driving through our neighborhood when Matt said, "A SNAKE!" I told him to turn around and run it over. I know, I know..they are God's creatures, but yes, we turned around to run it over.
After missing the first time, Matt pulled up right beside it and realized it was a rattler. Oh my goodness. It was quite mad! Thankfully, it was a pretty small one, and the kids all got to see it out their window before we ran it over for good.

I'm sorry, but rattlesnakes have no business being in my neighborhood.

But alas, there are so many rattlesnakes here in Texas. I've seen more in the three years that we've lived here than I've seen in all my life. In fact, I'd never actually seen a live rattlesnake before moving here. Just lots of garder snakes.

Folks, I am terrified..Terr.I.Fied. of snakes.

We have all sorts of these..


running around our house. No problem. I'd be fine if I came across an armadillo. Or a possum. Anything really, just not a snake.

ICK ICK ICK!!!!

It doesn't help at all to know that there are like 15 different types of venemous snakes here. Nope, doesn't help a bit.

And I have to tell you, remember the post that showed you my clothesline? I love to hang my clothes, but I am always secretly afraid to bring in the clothes. I usually bring the last load of clothes in after it's dark, and I just know there will be a snake waiting for me out there!

Last night, I suppose because I felt bad for killing the thing, I dreamt about rattlesnakes all night. I dreamt that we were in Dallas, and everytime we went outside a rattler was waiting to get us. Thankfully, it wasn't like the Indiana Jones snake pit, there was just one snake..always waiting for us. It actually got my kids once or twice, but they survived. Eventually, we were able to escape Dallas and get back home.

Maybe I should stop eating bon bons before bed...

This is turning into a nightmare!

OK, not really a nightmare, just a really huge pain in the rear!
We ordered all of our VBS materials, only to not receive two of the crafts.
When we inquired about it, we were told they were all sold out. Great.
We were told of two other places which offered similar crafts, but yep, also sold out.
So, I have to figure out what we're going to do. The crafts are pretty specific to the days lesson, so it'd be nice to stay with that idea.
It is also easy to over order from the VBS place because they sell them in sets of 10. Anything unopened can be returned. The other crafts I'm finding seem to sell in sets of 24. We'd never be able to return anything, and likely be stuck with too many crafts. Then there is the issue of money. We've already gone over our budget. Our treasurer is going to love us when we start bringing separate receipts in. Originally, the church was charged directly, but these other things we will have to get.
I'm not even mentioning the decorations that we have to buy.
Yep, he's going to be very pleased with us. Note the sarcasm!
Oh well, it will all end up good in the end, I just have to figure out these dumb crafts.
If by chance, you are doing the Power Lab VBS and have run into the same trouble, could you let me know what you're doing about it?? Thanks!

A tale of two girls

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, were two little girls.
The girls met in elementary school and were instantly best friends.
All growing up they were together.
On several occasions, they went to the first girl's cabin at the creek.
It was on one of these trips that the girls came up with names for each other.
Apricot and Bacon. Apricot had a sister, who the girls named MelonHead, and a brother they called Jamocha (is there even such a word?? They thought so!).
Apricot and Bacon grew up together and shared a love of all things, including New Kids on the Block. Apricot loved Joey, and Bacon was a Donnie fan.
Eventually, the girls hit high school. There, they got into trouble together. Apricot's parents even forbid Apricot from ever setting foot in Bacon's truck, because surely that's where they chased the boys!
As juniors in high school, Apricot's family let her go on a cruise with Bacon's family, and they had a great, GREAT time. Some wonderful memories were made that week.
By their senior year, Bacon was dating her future husband.
Apricot was, naturally, in the wedding.
Bacon and her new husband moved away, and Apricot went to college.
They drifted. Bacon had kids, Apricot did not. Eventually, Apricot got married, and Bacon secretly hoped this would bring them back together. But to no avail. Too much time had passed and they had gone completely separate ways.
Still, there was the occasional email and phone call, it just wasn't the same.
After many years, Apricot emailed Bacon and declared she was going to be a mom.
Apricot and her husband decided to adopt from Ethiopia. Bacon was very happy. For selfish reasons too..maybe NOW they'd have more in common again. Time would tell.
In July, Apricot and her husband will travel to Ethiopia to pick up their new son.
Bacon couldn't be happier for them.
It's true Apricot. I love you and am so incredibly happy for you and J. No matter what, you will always be my Apricot, time and differences will never change that. We may drift, but I have confidence that little M will have a way of pulling us back together.
Congratulations dear friend, I can't wait to "meet" your son.

All's right in the world

Matt is home. Where he belongs.
Safe and Sound.
Yes, things in our world are back to good!

I had such high hopes

It is two o'clock.
My beloved will be home at 11 o'clock tonight.
My house looks like it threw up.
Emmie is in a foul mood today and it is making it impossible to get anything done today.
Thank goodness he loves me for more than my housekeeping abilities!

Yesterday

Yesterday was an interesting day.
Collin and Zachy had been upstairs playing when Collin came downstairs and sat on the couch. He was kind of staring into space, and then said his tummy hurt and he needed the pot in case he had to throw up.
I asked if he was OK.
He then went on to tell me that he and Zachy were standing up playing with cars at their dresser, when he felt like nails were going into the back of his head, and then he fell over.
When I started questioning him about it, he said it was like he went to sleep and woke up on the floor. Zachy told me that Collin fell over, and he asked him if he was still going to play with him. But he didn't answer, because his eyes were closed. Then he asked again and he opened his eyes and said yes.
To me, it sounds like he passed out.
I called to try and get him in to the pediatrician, but they said to take him to the ER. By this time he was acting fine, but we went anyway.
The resident there told me that he knew kids (he had number 3 on the way) and it sounds like Collin made it up. That his kids would make something like that up. And that 6 year olds don't normally pass out, and since he was OK at the hospital, he doesn't think he passed out.
Do I think Collin made it up? No. He was so dazed when he came downstairs, and told me he went to sleep and fell over backwards.
He is totally fine now though.
We are supposed to go to the pediatrician tomorrow, but now I'm hesitant. I don't want to waste my time and have the doc tell me he made it up.
What to do, what to do.

New songs, and what I've always wanted to be

I've changed my songs! Did ya notice?
On July 4, Matt and I will have been married 14 short years! I say short because they have absolutely flown by, and it seems unfathomable that it's alreay been 14 years.
At any rate, I put on some songs that through the years we have claimed as "ours". I had to throw in my wedding processional, just because.
It certainly isn't a complete list of songs that are "ours", but it's good enough.
I'm loving the new Josh Gracin song, We Weren't Crazy. It suits us perfectly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What have I always wanted to be?
A great blogger. I don't think I am.
I read some amazing blogs, and they are so entertaining.
Mine..not so much.
I think it's something I need to work on. I'm just really lazy. I want to get to the facts, with not a lot of story telling.
I think the fact that I get so few hits, is pretty telling. In the past, I've gotten more, but my address has changed quite a bit, so that could have something to do with it.
That, or I'm just not entertaining.
I don't quite know how to be entertaining. I know it's in the story telling, which I fail at, quite a bit.
I don't ever feel like our life is all that entertaining, so that could be the problem. Maybe I need to stop looking for a story, and just make every day into a story. Did that make sense?
Hmm, I'll have to try...sometime.

I cannot believe

That in two short months I will have a 12 year old. I was just holding him all slimey and new. He was soo little. His bottom used to fit perfectly in the cup of my hand.
My first glimpse of perfection. *sigh*
I just keep thinking that these last 12 years have FLOWN and I may only have 8 more before he leaves the nest. How this breaks my heart into a million pieces. I have NEVER been a mom to wish my kids away. I remember back in 2000, meeting a new friend online. When she found out that Matthew was 4 and Dillon was 2, and we were trying to get pg with Collin, she said,"I bet you can't wait till they are in school" so that I could have some peace. But I've NEVER wished my kids were in school. I cannot imagine not being with them all day long, and I Realize how blessed I am to be able to stay home with them. Many many people don't get that.
Now, people tell me that when they are teenagers I'll be ready for them to leave...I just don't see it.

Pictures

On Tuesday, we went on a really cool field trip. We went to a local river and some aquatic biologists taught the kids all about how they catch and study fish, crawdads, and insects. The kids got to get into the river and catch things and then look at them under the microscope.
Everyone was having so much fun. The little kids got to scoop things out with fish nets while the bigger kids used the more sophisticated nets.
Poor Zachy though, he was in the water, and a crawdad thought his toe looked yummy and clamped right down on it. Poor baby. Everyone was having a gay time and Zachy was screaming cause it hurt so bad. It broke his toenail. He wouldn't set foot in the river after that. He was wearing sandals, but his little toe was just sticking out there.
You will notice there are very few pictures of Matthew. That is because he was in the older kid group and they got in the water and went on the other side of an island. The island had grass that was a million feet tall and you couldn't see the other side. Therefore, no pictures of him. He had an absolute blast though. It's nice to see him come out of his shell.
I also have to add that the biologists were so glad to do this field trip. You see, normally they do public school kids, who can't get in the water. They were excited to be able to take the kids in the water and let them do this themselves.




Zachy is always collecting things. Including berries from this tree.


Dillon got to hold one of the big nets!



Zachy and Collin learning about life in the water.



A fish that Dillon caught. They were told that this was not a native fish, and did not belong in this river, so it was ok if died while they passed it around!!



Emmie wanted in on the fun. She later tried to drink this water!

Peculiar

Zachy has a white round circle on his cheek.
Every year it is there when he gets tanned. It just doesn't tan. In the winter months, you don't notice it because his tan goes away.
It is in the same spot that the adhesive was put to hold in his O2 tube and later feeding tube when he was in the hospital as a newborn.
My theory is that it scarred in a way. But it doesn't look like a scar. It just doesn't tan. It's quite strange indeed.
Here is a picture. I changed the color so it was more obvious, he isn't really that color! It's just that in regular pictures it's a bit hard to see.


Here's the original, thought I'd include it so you can see how good his scar is looking.

Dumpy

I'm kind of feeling down in the dumps this afternoon.
I don't know why.
I miss Matt.
It's hot and the kids are bored. I can't take them to the pool. Last time we tried that the lifegaurd came flying off her perch into the water after Zachy. He was fine, but when she glanced at him she thought he was struggling. My friend and I were yelling, "what's wrong? Who's drowning" Had no idea she was headed for Zachy who was perfectly fine. Scared him to death though, cause she hauled him out of the pool asking him over and over if he was ok. I actually had to file an incident report about it, and the teen lifeguards kept saying, "wow, it's such a good thing we had that training this morning" I think they were on overdrive.
At any rate, it's not something I want a repeat of, so we'll stay home until Matt gets home.
Maybe we should go get a slip and slide or some such thing. It's just hot.
I wish Matt would hurry up and be home. :-(

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I am so very tired. I could collapse right here, right now.
But there are still five kids awake.
We had a meeting at church that ended up lasting for 3 hours. oy.
Everyone's hungry, so having a snack at almost 10 o'clock.
To quote Matthew, "we've been up a lot the last couple of days, I'm TIRED"
Yes indeed, we have been. And I think we are all just poopity pooped.

Safe and sound

Matt just called me and he has arrived. Safe and sound.
He sounded so tired and frustrated. It was a long, long day of traveling for him. Most of it quite uncomfortable travel.
But he's there. And he's safe. And really, that's all that matters.
I already miss him so much. I'm such a loser. :-(

Doing the single mom thing

This morning we were up at 3 AM to drive Matt to the airport.
As I type this, he is on his way to Honduras. Far, far away from here.
He got to Miami to be told their flight to Honduras had been cancelled. When I talked to him, he was talking about the possibility of having to spend the night in Miami. The next time I talked to him, he was telling me they were getting ready to board the plane to Honduras. Only to a different town. Where they would then be bussed to the original destination.
We have already discussed another bus trip he will make while there (to the ruins) and how funny it would be if there were chickens and whatnot on the bus. So, I should hear by tonight how the bus system is in Honduras.
I told him I was going to lose five pounds while he was gone. He said he would too. I asked him if he meant from sweating so much, and he told me no. He said he would be too afraid to eat anything there! He's been told of their taste for guinea pig there. Since we've owned several piggies in the past, this turns our stomachs. Not that he'd want to eat a piggie anyway. So, he's nervous about what will be served in this foreign land.
He'll do great though.
When I met him, he had been on an airplane once, I think. And hadn't really traveled that much.
Since joining the military, he's become quite the world traveler! Too bad he doesn't bring us with him!
And so, for the next two weeks, I'm doing the single mom gig. At least it isn't like last time when he was gone for 8 weeks. We'll survive, somehow. Little Miss Em has been quite the handful the last couple of weeks. I'd like to think it's her teeth, but who really knows. I can feel the outline of one of her bottom molars, but I've felt it for weeks. The stupid thing will not come through. It may be getting close, because the last 3 days have been especially pleasant. Note the sarcasm! She has screamed so much that her little face gets red and splotchy. Something that hasn't happened for quite some time. And she pushes everything away from her. Her appetite has been low as well.
Oh the joys of being a baby! Poor thing.
I still have those great posts in my head, and sometime I'll get them out.
For now though, I'll leave you with a Collinism.
We've been going to the pool for several days since last week. The second day we were there, Collin kept asking me why it was deeper than last time. I was stumped. Nothing I said seemed to satisfy him.
Suddenly, he yelled, 'mommy!!! I know why it's deeper!!"
"you do?? Why??"
"Because I'm not standing on my tippie toes today!!"
Yep, that will do it!

I just need some time

I have some good blog posts rolling around in this old head of mine. I just do not have the time to sit down and get them out.
It's been a very difficult time with Emily lately. She's cutting molars. I think they are almost through. I certainly hope so.
Until they are through and I have some time, the posts will have to remain in my head. Sorry!

Gettin fit

Yesterday, Matt surprised me with a Wii Fit. Good heavens is that thing keeping us entertained!
Matthew has already put 60 minutes into his Fit Bank today. Which is a silly little piggy bank that tells you how many minutes you've exercised.
Dillon is currently using it, even though he has a fever and a headache. He's had some meds, so he thinks he is well enough to do basic step aerobics. Crazy kid.
Matt did tons last night, and later I worked up a good sweat in 30 minutes.
My problem is that Emily has a sensor that senses when I'm doing something. For instance, she can be totally fine and happy playing, and then when I sit down at the computer she comes crying to me to hold her. It's the same with anything Wii related. She's fine, I pick up a remote and she's crying. So this could prove to be a challenge. Last night I had to wait until she was asleep, but then I'm too awake to be able to sleep.
I currently have a goal to lose 22 pounds in 3 months. That's the most and longest it would let me do. I have so much more to lose, but that's as far as it would go. I'm not off to a good start since today it told me my weight was up from last night. Phooey on it!
Ok I'm off to go hula hoop while Emmie is happy.

SCORE!

Today is the annual half off sale at the thrift store chain here.
I was there before opening and there was already a crowd!! INSANE!
Anyway, I got 11 pairs of jeans for the boys, 4 pairs of denim shorts (one pair for each boy), 2 pairs of jammie pants for Collin, 4 church dresses for Emmie, 4 dress shirts for the boys, a hat for Zachy, a book for Dillon, and 5 other shirts for the boys. All in great condition and all for $53!!!! WOOOHOO!!! When I was checking out, there were two men arguing over who got my cart!! CRAZY!!!
I think thrift shopping is not only economical but also great for the environment!

Be still my beating heart

We took the kiddies to the shoe store this evening. Dillon is forever telling me he needs new tennis shoes.
They asked if we needed anyone measured, and we thought, 'what the heck, we'll measure everyone'
She pulls out the kid foot measuring contraption and starts measuring. When Matthew put his clod hopper on the cold metal, she said, "oh, you need the adult measurer". I had been walking away when I heard, "adult". I whipped back around and said, "what did you just say?!"
She then grinned at me and said, "yep, men's size seven"
I asked if she was sure, and she said she was.
I nearly fainted.
It seems like yesterday that they told me he was no longer in toddler sizes, how in the world can he be in adult sizes??
And then, to top things off. I tried on a men's size seven imitation croc and to my dismay, it fit! It was a bit snug, but it fit.
A couple of days ago, I was marveling at how little Em's hands still are. I called Matthew into the room to measure his hands. I told him that his hands were just the size of Em's. Soon, they'll be enveloping my hands.
He says he can't wait for his growth spurt. I can. Babies grow up way too fast.

Today

I just got home from having a pedicure. Oh sweet relaxation.
I told Matt that he needs to encourage me to do this more often, because I always talk myself out of spending money on myself. But how refreshing it was.
Now we are getting ready to leave. Matt is taking our eldest kids and three kids from church to see Prince Caspian. I'm taking my three little ones to the mall to get some more webkinz and to play and to get ice cream.
Should be fun for everyone!

Horrible thought

Last night, as I was tickling Zachy I was hit with this thought.
He has a machine. A machine that tells his heart to beat.
And I suddenly got sick, as I thought, "what if something happens to him?"
It's probably not likely that anything tragic will happen to him regarding his heart, but still.
A machine tells his heart to beat.
I couldn't bear to lose him.

Oh that Happy post again

I have numerous pictures on my camera. But I am at the mercy of Matt to get those on my computer. He wonders why I even have to do a happy post. I tell him I don't have to, but that I want to so I can be reminded of the positive.
Right now, I can tell you that yesterday Matthew had a really great appointment with a new nuerologist. We will be redoing his MRI in 6 months to a year because there is a questionable spot somewhere on the right side of his brain. I so cannot remember where or what exactly the doctor said. I used to obsess about new findings, it must be saying something that I can totally forget what was said! This doctor actually seems to care, which is such a breath of fresh air. He is concerned about the mass filling Matthew's nose. Says the ENTs must look at it and discuss it. We saw ENT two weeks ago, and he said nothing about it. We see a different ENT in June. He will be setting us up with the craniofacial clinic here on base. Finally. After three years here, we are getting somewhere.
This all makes me happy, so we can just consider this my happy post!

Dairy Allergy?

I think Emmie might have a dairy allergy.
At first I was leaning more towards chocolate, because she always spits up after she has chocolate. But last night, she had ice cream, and that came up too. I wonder if it is the milk in milk chocolate.
Interestingly, cheese doesn't do this to her. But it could be because she doesn't ever consume enough cheese. She drinks soy milk, so I don't know about regular milk. I'm going to buy some soy ice cream tonight and see if anything happens. Maybe it's sugar!

My little koala

Collin is our little koala bear.
If you happen to be laying on your side, he will surely lay on top of you, wrapping his arms and legs around you. He loves this.
I told him last night that if there is ever a webkinz* koala bear, I'm buying it for him. He told me that it might cost too much money. I told him I didn't care, my koala Collin needs a koala of his own.
I know that he is going to outgrow this very soon, so I cherish every koala hug from him.

* I know there are many other types of koalas I could get him, but for now, the webkinz are huge in this house, so that's what I said.

I may need a vacation

Seriously folks, I am beat. Totally and completely wiped out.
I don't know why.
I don't have it in me to do much of anything. I am totally and completely dreading VBS this year, and if it were up to just me, I wouldn't do it. But alas, Matt is in on it too, so we will do it. And I know we'll be glad we did, but right now, I don't wanna!
In the last three years, I have spent one night in Houston, and a couple of very stressful nights up in the Dallas area. That weekend near Dallas was not relaxing one bit.
I'm thinking that maybe if we just got away for a weekend, I could just rest. But, that isn't going to happen.
We have commitments the next two weekends and the next weekend Matt leaves for Honduras. Writing that almost sends me to tears. I am so, so tired. He can't leave me for two weeks to deal with VBS on my own. As soon as he comes home it is time to have VBS.
We are going to Missouri at the beginning of August, but I'm not sure I will survive that long.
In case you aren't up to speed with our plans, we were going to take a month off and go up north. But alas, Matt couldn't get longer than a week off of work. My bil and sil are moving to Missouri. We are going up to help unload their truck and to see family. My mil and fil are helping them move, and Matt's grandma and Aunt are coming down too. So we will spend our vacation seeing his family. I'm glad that we will at least get to see half our family.
But, will I last that long?

A New Era

My kids are really into webkinz lately. They love them so much. And so do all the other kids at church.
They spend lots of time chatting online and playing games with each other.
In addition, my phone rings all the time. And it's no longer for me. It's always for the boys.
How did this happen? How are my kids suddenly this old?
Where has the time gone?

Happy mother's day

To all the mom's out, and especially the ones in my life, happy mother's day.

I know I missed my happy post yesterday, but I am determined to do it. We reformatted our computer some time ago, and now I don't know how to upload my pictures, so I always have to wait on Matt.

We are going to Sea World today to celebrate me..hehe...actually, to celebrate my kids who made me a mom. Without them, I'd just be plain old Bekki. Because of them I get to be "the best mom ever".

Why'd I have to ask??

Do you ever say something, or ask a question, and immediately wish you hadn't done it?
I did. Today. Only it wasn't immediate. It was after the answer was given that I realized I really didn't want to know. Too late. Now I have to deal with my feelings about it.
Zachy had an appointment with his electrophysiologist today. The good great news is that he was able to lower the energies of his pacemaker significantly. The machine says that with these settings his battery should last eight years. Which is a huge improvement over 3-6 years. The doctor said he was sure it'd last until he was ten, probably longer. Praise the Lord. Turns out, his leads were placed in a prime position that requires less energy to be used to let the heart know to beat. If you ask me, God was in control of that. You see, the doctor struggled with getting the leads placed. His right atrium was full of scar tissue from his previous surgery. So to have them placed right where they should be..none other than God.
And then, I asked him. I asked him what Zachy's life expectancy was. Because no one has ever told us. Because really, kids with TAPVR are just now starting to live into adulthood, so it's really an unknown. But based on his repair, and now the pacemaker the doctor said he should live into his 50's or 60's. And this is really going on having a pacemaker, not really taking into account the TAPVR.

This isn't long enough.

I know nothing is certain. I know that. And I also know how blessed we are to be able to raise him into adulthood, when so many other parents don't get that. But still. I'm sad.
I just need to process this. Then I can move on, and focus on the good.
The doctor told us that he fully expects there to be better technology in Zachy's life that could greatly extend his life. And I believe that. I just need to get through this right now. The possibility.
And I'm not sad for us. I'm sad for his wife, his children, his grandchildren. How much they will miss out on a wonderful person.
I know it's not the end. I have faith in a wonderful God who doesn't want His children to hurt. Someday, all of this will be of no matter. And that's what truly matters.
Like I said, I just need to process all of this so I can move on.

Zachism

Walking into the mall today, Zachy said to us, "when we get another sister, she will be mine"
Ummmm..ok?

Wow

Oh man, I would LOVE one of these.
Win a Free Ergo Baby Carrier from Along for the Ride

Outta the mouths of babes

Zachy: When are we going to Heaven?

Me: When Jesus comes back to get us.

Zachy: But that will take forever

Me: It may take awhile, but He promised He will be back to get us.

Collin: Yeah Zachy, He has to wait because he is busy making lots of animals for us!

Zachy: How will He get here??

Collin: On a cloud

Zachy: Ohhhh on a ladder cloud!!

Happy Thoughts

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. She makes me very happy! I couldn't ask for a better mom or grandma for my kids. Would you believe that she's only 19??



I'm looking to get more diapers, and I'm looking into these. I have a wonderful on line friend who is sending me one of hers to try out. I'm very happy to have such wonderful friends!



This pacemaker that has given life back to Zachy makes me happy indeed. No regrets at all about getting it. The spark of life is back!



Being able to spend time together as a family..on a regular basis. It hasn't always been like this, and I don't take a minute for granted.




I've lost 5 pounds...FINALLY

Always be Prepared

As a prelude to this story, I have to tell you that Zachy is a stasher. He stashes goodies anywhere he can think of. If something is missing, we ask him, and off he'll trot to where he stashed it.
It is not uncommon for him to ask if he can bring assorted items with us in the car. We usually say yes, and don't pay much attention to what it is.
Yesterday, we decided to head to Six Flags. As usual, Zachy said, "can I bring stuff?" I told him that he could, and thought nothing more of it.
Whilst in the park, Dillon went running, caught the toe of his sandal on the ground and took a dive. Skinned up his knees and hands. We were looking at his wounds and asking if he was ok, not paying any attention to Zach. All of a sudden, he was beside us, with a first aid kit! He was declaring, "OH! I have bandaids!!" We were so surprised that he brought stuff from the van into the stroller. We figured everything stayed behind. We were so greatful that he happened to stash a first aid kit with him.
He also brought hand sanitizer and ice breakers, because you never know when you need clean hands and a clean mouth!

Happy Thoughts

I absolutely love having a clothesline. It is actually one of my favorite parts of my house. I've waited many years to have a clothesline. Silly, I know. But you should see little diapers on a line..soooo cute!



This little eye drop has lowered the pressure in Matthew's eye from 48 to 22. Yes, this makes me very, very happy.



Just one way we are trying to leave a smaller footprint on the earth. Earth day made me happy! This bag is full of other cloth bags, waiting to go back in the van.



Herbs! Growing in my window sill. Only not anymore. As of today they are in bigger pots outside. Matt is growing these because he loves to cook us yummy food, and got tired of paying big bucks for these herbs.




Dillon is studying birds. I don't know if you can see it, but there are three bird feeders in this picture. Another one is in another branch, and we have one on the window behind the herbs that the birds haven't discovered yet. We have very happy birds around here. Maybe next week I'll get a picture of the birds, and not just the feeders!

No easy feat

I haven't mentioned it here, because I really hate being a gigantic loser in front of everyone, but I'm trying to lose weight.
I've been watching what I eat, and I've been exercising on a fairly regular basis. I've been going to the gym at night, by my lonesome, to try and work some of this fat off.
I thought I was doing well. I was down four pounds. Finally headed in the right direction.
Then today, I weighed. All four of those pounds are back. And I'm right back where I started.
I hate this. I hate trying so hard, thinking about it so much, for nothing. Zip. Nada. Zilch. I hate it.
And I'm just having a bad day in general, so it probably doesn't help me at all. I just want to quit. Go eat some ice cream.
I hate this. *sob*

La dee dah

The kids are all outside playing. Taking a break from school work.
And I should really be cleaning up, because my house looks like a tornado just blew through. But, I don't want to.
I'm feeling lazy right now. Emmie hasn't napped well for the last couple of days. Usually, I'm able to get most of my cleaning up done while she sleeps, but not lately.
Today, Matthew has learned how to do his laundry. Dillon is next. They really wanted a raise in their allowance, so they have to pick up some of the slack.
OK, I'm off to do something productive.

Just Pray

Since American Idol did America Gives Back, and several other bloggers went on a
Compassion trip, I've been seeing many bloggers talking about sponsoring children. I've wondered what God would want us to do. We are trying hard to pay off all our debts, and we are finally succeeding. And I feel God wants us to continue on that path and not add any bills. So where does that leave sponsoring a child? And then there is my own hang ups with sponsoring. I know they are irrational, but I wonder where our money goes. Does it really go to help the children? I know that Compassion is legit, but so is the American Heart Association, and only one penny of every dollar they raise goes to congenital heart defect research. I know that strokes and heart attacks are also very important, but the way I see it, usually those things happen to elderly people, who have had a chance to live life. CHDs happen to babies, who haven't had that chance. They deserve that chance. But I digress..I'm going down the wrong path for this post.
I've been wrestling in my mind about all of this.
And then, this morning, at 4 am, I was wide awake. And that Still Small Voice was telling me to just pray. To pull out maps, and choose impovershed countries and teach my children about them, and to pray for them. Because, even if we aren't giving monetarily, praying is just as valuable.
But, I argued with God. I said, "just pray? That's it??" You see, we had watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium a few nights ago, and there was an accountant. They called him Mutant because surely accountant meant a cross between a counter and a mutant. Mutant was a "just" man. As in, it was just a toy store. Only every one else could see the magic that the store held. So I felt like it was just prayer. But the voice gently nudged and said, "oh no, not just prayer. Because prayer is more magical than that" And yes, I do know that prayer is not magical, but do you get my drift? It is more than just a prayer. Prayer changes things. And if all we can do is pray, then that is enough. More than enough.
Somewhere, I have a nice laminated map of the world. I cannot find it though. I remember it last in a house we lived in 4 houses ago, so it may be long gone. But we are going to get a map out, and choose countries. We will learn about the people there, and their struggles. And we will pray. Earnestly pray. And that's more than enough, for now.

Happy Thoughts

Jenni, over at One Thing, lists 5 things, every Friday, that make her happy.
I think it is so great to reflect on the good things in life, and so I'm stealing her idea. Hopefully, she won't mind!
This week is pretty obvious..but it's what makes me the happiest, so it gets the first week.



This boy, who is so very brave. He's been through more than any person should ever have to go through, and he's just 11. Our eldest son, Matthew.



And this boy, who is so very strong. He is such a little monkey, with the most gentle heart. Our second son, Dillon.



This boy, who is in such an enjoyable stage. He cracks us up so many times a day. And he's so curious about the world around him. Our third son, Collin.



Zachary, our fourth son. He is the bravest person I know. He is strong in spirit. He is one of my greatest heroes.



And finally, this girl. Emily. Our fifth child, first girl. She is growing by leaps and bounds before my very eyes. Growing more independent every day.

Babies, Babies Everywhere

Oh my, it seems everyone is having babies!
Yesterday, one of my on line friends had her sixth baby, and she is just so cute. Another fellow blogger had her 12th on Saturday.
I have an on line friend who is pregnant with her eighth.
The one neighbor is certainly pregnant and I think the other neighbor is too.
It's so exciting to see all these little ones. Love it!
Congrats to everyone!!!

The Eyes Have It

I'm sure I've used that title before, and I will probably use it again in the future. I hope, anyway.
Because what it means is that the good eyes in this family still outnumber the bad numbers.
Emma-bug had an appointment with the ophthalmologist today. It was confirmed that her eyesight is A-OK.
So that means that four of us have good eyesight, and only three have bad. Too bad the bad is so bad!
I don't think I mentioned before that Matthew's pressure is down to 22. Great news. His pressure was 48. I don't expect anyone who hasn't dealt with glaucoma to have any idea what any of this means, but it is great.
Things are going well in the health department. Praise the Lord!!

Off to exercise

My knee is feeling better, but I'm still nervous. I don't want to hurt it again.
Matt and I are taking the kids to the family exercise room on base, and I will be doing something like an elliptical machine in an effor to not hurt my knee.
I know the key to good weight loss is through exercise, so I really need to do this.
Wish me luck!

That's one way to teach grammar

I keep hearing, 'Zachy sticked his tongue out at me!"
"nuh-uh Collin sticked his tongue at me!"
I finally told them that I could not listen to them until they used proper grammar. That is was 'Zachy STUCK his tongue out at me, not sticked'
Now I keep hearing, "Zachy stuck his tongut out at me!"
And here I thought they'd stop.
Silly, silly me.

Zachism

This morning, Zachy asked me if he had ever been in my tummy.
I said that yes he was.
He said, "oh yeah, I was scary* in there"
Me "no, you liked it a lot, and didn't want to come out"
sly smile then, "oh yeah..I was HIDING!"
He then crawls off my bed and spots a bear figurine I have. He picked it up, looked at it, and then at me and says, "mommy, is this really what you looked like when you were a bear?"
"when was I a bear?"
"when you were a baby....ummm...in a COSTUME"
That kid cracks me up.

* Zachy always says scary when he means scared. For instance, he can't go to bed in the dark because he's scary. It's really too cute to correct him right now, maybe when he's 12.

Six Flags pictures

We went to Six Flags on Easter. Here are some pictures from it.
There aren't many of Matthew and Dillon because they are into the higher thrill rides, and well, it's hard to get pictures of roller coasters!

Emily Cuteness

Just a couple pics of Emmie, and one of Dillon...just for kicks

Lookie what we got

I've been meaning to post this, but haven't uploaded the picture.
We bought this new van on April first. It's a 12 passenger and we absolutely love it.
All the environmentalists hate us. It's ok though, they pretty much started that when we had more than our acceptable 2 kids.
Meet The Great White.
We named it that because I kept saying, "it's a monster" when we were looking at it. And that's the name of Matthew and Dillon's favorite roller coaster. So, The Great White she is!

Oh boy

Our VBS is scheduled for July.
Already, the songs are in my head every single day.
I've also been having bad dreams about it.
It's going to be a long 3 months!

An update on the kids...Dillon and Emmie are being treated for strep. We have to keep our eyes on the other kids too. Emmie didn't test positive, but given that she had the same symptoms as Dillon, the doc decided to treat her too. I am not opposed to that at all.

What's a mom to do?

So the fever bug has bitten Dillon and Emmie now.
Last night Emmie's temp was up to 104.1 and she was breathing so fast. I called the nurse and they said to bring her in. I was counting betweent 75-85 respirations per minute. Much too fast.
I waited until she fell asleep and things seem to quiet down a bit. She was down to the 40s.
This morning, she is still sleeping and her respirations have slowed way down. Thank goodness. And her temp is only 101.4.
Dillon, on the other hand, he awoke this morning telling me something was clogging his throat.
His tonsils are indeed huge. And I see white on them. So the question is, is this strep, or just regular ole tonsilitis?
I'm waiting a bit, to see how they both fare later on in the day. If they get worse or don't improve (mainly Dill) I'll try to get them in. He is notorious for getting strep. Poor thing. And you'd think I'd know the look of it by now.
So, maybe doctor for us today, maybe not.
And once again, Matthew is the only kiddo to not get sick yet.

Pete and Repeat

Pete and Repeat were walking across the bridge.
Pete fell off and who was left?
Repeat.
Collin had a fever yesterday. It's gone today.
Zachy has a fever today, and is now throwing up.
Why are we repeating this illness??

Great Sunday

We had a great day yesterday. It started out blah.
We were just kind of sprawling about. Then we decided to go to the store to look for a seat for Emmie on Matt's bike.
We discovered it was beautiful outside. Which was kind of surprising because we had all been cold inside. Had to turn down the a/c.
We walked around the BX for a good long while. Emmie pushed any cart she could get her hands on. So cute.
We also had to buy a sprinkler so we could start watering the lawn. For some reason, Collin decided to throw our old one away.
When we got home, we set up the sprinkler, and the kids played in the water. Matt put the seat on his bike, and I worked on laundry.
We decided to grill turkey burgers and have a picnic in our yard. We had bought strawberries the other day, so we got some angel food cake and cool whip and made strawberry shortcake for dessert.
Then we all went for a bike ride. When will I learn? My knee is killing me today, but it was fun while it lasted!
Then we got all the cleaning done and were ready to start the week off with a clean house.
It was just a great day.
Today, however, Collin has been battling a temp of 104.1 and is pretty out of it. Hopefully it's short lived because tomorrow is supposed to be a busy day.
I hope you had a fantabulous Sunday also.

The nurse at the ER

Did I mention that I hurt my knee? I can't remember. And I'm too lazy to look back. I'm stealing a moment to blog, so don't want to waste any time.
At any rate, I hurt my knee. Turns out I sprained it. I know this because I went to the doctor yesterday. Only not really the doctor, but the ER. Because when you have anything other than a routine appointment, it is impossible to see your doctor. And so, I have spent a bunch of time in the ER here. More than in my whole life.
OK, so it's sprained. I can start my program back up when it's healed, in 3-6 weeks. Huge bummer, because I was really enjoying myself.
That's not the point of this post though.
Matt came and sat with me between seeing patients. Of course, when it was time for my x-ray, he had a patient. So I had all the kids with me. What to do?
A wonderful nurse said I could bring them all with me and she would keep an eye on them. On the way back, we talked, and she told me she had 8 kids. Lucky lady! Four boys and four girls!
She was playing with Emily and said, "oh my, you're giving me baby fever" But she sounded so sad. I asked if they'd be having anymore. She told me that no, she had had her tubes tied. She told me she had cried and cried and wished she never did it.
My heart broke in a million pieces for her. I cannot imagine that pain. Some people may think she has had enough, and good for her for tying her tubes, but not me. I just feel for her.
I don't ever want to feel like that.

So sorry

The boys are fine. Sorry I didn't tell you last night!

Words mom doesn't want to hear

Matt is at the grocery store with Dillon and Collin.
I called to remind him that we needed water.
He is telling me that the cart is full, he hasn't made it to produce yet and he doesn't know where he'll put it.
Then, I hear CRASH "ARE YOU OK??"
And then he tells me, "I gotta go, they just dumped over the cart" *Click*
As a little girl, I turned a cart over on me.
I was two. I broke my leg in two places.
I'm assuming all is ok though, since I haven't heard back from him.
Just makes my heart freak out a bit.

Small request

Dillon has been collecting post cards. So far, all we have is post cards from different places Matt has been.
I was wondering if anyone might want to send him one from your neck of the woods.
If you would like to, you can email me luckiestmomever@gmail.com to get our mailing address.
He sure would like it.

Slow down, son

The other day, we were at the store. Matt was looking at the iPhones. Of course, he'd love one, but we will never get one. Too spendy for our taste. Not to mention that we are with Sprint, not AT&T.
Zachy LOVES gadgets, especially phones. So he started saying, "I want an iPot phone too" And started asking us when he could get an ipot phone. We finally told him when he was big like Daddy.
This morning he woke up and said, "Mommy, I think I'm as big as Matthew and Dillon today. Does that mean I'm as big as Daddy? Can I get my ipot phone?"
It's really cute. But I know before long, he will be as big as Daddy.
Slow down, Son...be my baby a while longer. Please?

Week one..done

I finished my first week of couch to 5K today.
I had a hard time finding where to run, so I finally bit the bullet today and went on base.
It was really tough for me. I was so certain people would laugh at the fat girl running. But I just tuned everyone out and did my thing.
There is a track upstairs that circles the perimeter of the gym. One half is the exercise machines, and the other the gymnasium. They were having basketball practice in the gym, and it was hot in there. I was so glad to come around to the exercise room half. Nice and cool in there.
I hurt my knee this week. I twisted it funky while kneeling down. Stupid. It hurts, but I plugged through it today.
Onto week two!

Not meant to offend

I noticed today that the neighbor across the street has the cutest baby bump.
And why did I notice this?
Why because she was outside having a cigarette.
This makes me sick. I'm so sorry if I offend anyone, but it does.
Babies are so precious..and fragile.
Why would you do anything that could jeopardize your bundle of perfection?? I don't get it.
The only thing I can think is that they have never been affected by a child with a difficulty.
The thing is, her baby will probably be just perfect. And it isn't that I would ever wish anything wrong with any baby..it just kind of irks me.
OK, climbing off my soap box.
Back to the regularly scheduled blogging.

I should be baking bread...

with all this yeast.
Emily has thrush in her mouth. I have it on my breasts. She has it on her bottom.
Oh yes, good times are being had here.

Tagged

OK, Maria tagged me quite awhile ago. I haven't done it because, honestly, I've been having a hard time coming up with seven things about me. But I'll try.

Rules are:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


1)I have always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride. I think to balloon over a beautiful green countryside would be magnificent. Matt and I used to say (back in the dating days) that we were going to run away in a hot air balloon and get married.

2)Speaking of getting married..I'd love to get married again. I was so stressed out on our wedding day, that I didn't really enjoy it. I see other people's weddings and think it looks like so much fun. Once upon a time, we had this idea that we would renew our vows at 10 years. We'd wear the same clothes and have the same attendants. I don't know what in the world was wrong with us! Ten years seemed so long. We had no idea that we could never afford to do that, or that there was no way I'd fit into my wedding dress! ALTHOUGH..after I had Collin, I lost a bunch of weight, and I was actually able to fit into my dress again!

3)My favorite animal (who is actually a mammal) is the manatee. LOVE THEM. I went swimming with them in high school. And aside from getting married and having kids, it was one of the highlights of my life. There is no way to describe putting your face in the water and seeing these ginormous creatures swimming at you. And then, get this, they practically roll over for you to rub their bellies.

4)I'm a huge Disney fan. Not necessarily the movies, but the parks. When I was little, I wanted to be Alice in Wonderland. Just so I could sit on the mushroom during the parade waving and saying, "hellooo. OH! Hello!!" If I lived in Anaheim or Orlando, I might have to figure out a way to work, just so I could work there. I would actually just like to live there. Set up residence in Cinderella's castle.

5)I love roller coasters. Although, I'm starting to not be a fan of the wooden ones. I'm old, and they are very jerky. But give me any metal, fast one, and I'm in. Matthew is like this (who would have thought??) and it has been so much fun. He's game for anything and usually dragging us to the rides.

6)I slept with my baby blanket until about sixth grade. After my parents got divorced, I had really bad nights. I was always afraid at night. I knew my house would burn down, or someone would break in, or who knows what else. But I could never sleep. So, even into high school, I would pull it out of my closet to sleep with.

7)Speaking of being a kid, when I was growing up, I always wanted a dozen kids. I don't know why a dozen, but a dozen it was. Matt always wanted seven. Who knows how many we'll end up with! ;-)

OK, I'm tagging....
1) Gina
2)Robin
3)Melissa
4)Tommy
5)UK Gina
6)Michelle
7)Cory

A start

If you've been reading my blog for years, you may remember when we lived in Ohio. And when Matt would go to Toledo once a month for guard duty. You may also remember I had an online friend, Carrie, who lived there. We went to see them a few times, and went to the zoo with them.
Anyway, I've been sitting back, reading her blog, and watching her start a running program. She has been loving it, and the transition in her has been nothing short of amazing. She has inspired me so much, that tonight, I am going to start the program.
This is huge for me. I have never enjoyed running. But since watching her, I've had this itch lately, to get out there and do it myself. I am so excited about it. Which is really strange for me!
I'll be following this program, in case you are interested.
Wish me luck!

Long time no post

I go through these times when I just feel I have nothing exciting to say.
This is one of those times.
Life is just truckin along, like it does.
Last Sunday, we had an impromtu birthday party for Emmie. I wanted it solely for the purpose of cake pictures.
Unfortunately, the girl is not into eating these days. She is, however, into nursing, all the time. But since being sick, she just hasn't been eating.
So, we sat her in her chair, gave her her own cake, and she stuck a finger in the frosting. She then tasted it, and squirmed to get out of her seat.
That was it. No devouring of cake like I wanted.
Zachy did this too. My first 3 just gobbled it down, but not these two.
I do have pictures, but haven't uploaded them.
The weather here has been wonderful. We've been taking walks in the evenings and just enjoying the Texas spring.
On Sunday, we plan on going to Six Flags. It should be fun. Especially now that Emmie is a walker! Too bad she hates shoes. She just takes after her mommy, I guess.
Next week is full of doctors appointments. Almost every day we have something. Matthew is getting a new appliance in his mouth on Monday, so that should be exciting.
Speaking of Matthew. He saw the glaucoma doc last week. His drop wasn't working to bring down his pressure. So he is now on a different drop. We are praying this one works. If it doesn't, we will add another drop and hope that works. If THAT doesn't work, they'll try surgery. But his eye is funky, so that might not work either. At that point, he will just go black blind. Right now, he can see shadows in his right eye, so is able to at least not run into things. Although, he still runs into lots of things on the right side! We're just hoping that the drops work. I remember when he was 2 weeks old and the pediatrician told us it looked like a cataract or glaucoma. I was so afraid it was glaucoma, and so relieved it was just a cataract. I had no idea I'd be dealing with BOTH! The thing that stinks the most about the glaucoma, is that it hurts him. He frequently complains of his eye hurting. Poor thing.
Oh yes, I almost forgot...we found out last week that Matt gets to go on a humanitarian mission trip to Honduras in June. He'll be there 2 weeks. I know he'll have a wonderful time. I can see mission work being right up his alley.
OK, Emmie is sitting here demanding my attention, so I'm off. Have a happy Easter.

Just waitin

I have an itch to totally shovel out Collin and Zachy's room. It is making me nutso. I told them I was going to and Zachy said, "ok, I just want my babies and spy stuff" His babies are all the stuffed animals he got while at the hospital.
The problem?
Out a/c is on the blink again, and I have to wait for the a/c man to come fix it. Only, he couldn't give me a time, said he'd have to fit us in.
Our doorbell is very, very quiet, and I know that if I get into their room, I won't hear it.
The kids all want to be outside playing, so I can't even tell them to listen for it.

Gag me

We ate lunch a couple hours ago.
I am still stuffed.
BLAH...how do I do this to myself??

Oh me, Oh my (he barks all day and night)

OK, no one really barks all day and night, but if you know the Wiggles, you know the song. And for some reason, it is going through my head right now.
I feel I should sit and write something really great, but alas, my life is so boring right now.
Last Friday, Zachy and Collin started throwing up. It was such a pleasant day. They were done by Saturday, but still felt bad.
Sunday morning, Emmie started throwing up. Poor thing, she can't seem to catch a break lately.
She was done by Monday though.
Then Tuesday morning, Matt and Dillon started the process.
Somehow, Matthew and I have managed to escape this dreaded illness. I have had many nauseous nights and days, but, thankfully, everything has stayed down.
Yesterday, after having a rough day, I told Matt we needed to go shopping. Cause yeah, apparently I like retail therapy! So we went to a mall and walked around. We bought Emmie her first pair of shoes. Can you believe that? No shoes till now. She isn't too fond of them, either. Can't say I blame her. I myself, hate shoes.
And now she is awake and crying, so I have to run.
Today is Matt's birthday. He's getting so old. A whole 32 years today. Why, he's practically ancient!

Happy Birthday, Baby

Oh my, I feel so guilty about not posting this until today.
But guess what happened on Monday??
My wee little baby turned one year old! I so cannot believe that a year has already passed. She is walking all over the place and is just too cute for words.
So, what did we do for her birthday, you ask.
If you will recall, Phantom was on Sunday. Sunday morning at about 4 I woke up and could feel the heat coming off Emmie. Took her temp. 104. Poor punkin. We gave her meds and were able to get it down a bit. I was pretty nervous about leaving her while we went to the show. We've never left her before, and what a way to do it. She did fine though. And the show was great. We had such a good time. Poor Matt though, the guy sitting in front of him had a ginormous head. It blocked half the stage, so he and I spent the whole time leaned over to the right so he could see. But it was still so good.
We got home, and Emmie appeared to be doing really well. Her temp was down, and she was pretty chipper.
Later in the evening, we went to go grocery shopping. Halfway through I told Matt that we had to leave because I had to take Emmie to the ER. She was just so out of it and hot. I feared another UTI, and knew it would be impossible to get her seen the next day. Only this time I was smart. I took her to the army hospital instead of the air force hospital. For one thing, it's much closer to where we live, and for another, we wouldn't have to wait on all the basic trainees who get priority on base.
I got there about 9:30 and waited for an hour to be triaged. During this time, she fell asleep and kept spazzing out. It scared me and I was sure she was going to seize. Some folks were talking about the fact that they'd been there since 4 in the afternoon. When they took her to triage her I asked if they would please give her something to help with the wait. They took her temp and it was 105.3. They pretty much freaked. They gave her meds and sent us for a chest x-ray. She was also panting by then. Then they put us in the orthopedic room. They did urine tests, blood tests, flu tests, and an RSV test. It all came back negative. Her heart was beating really quickly, so they gave her fluids. Then they decided since they had no source for the fever, they would admit her. But guess what. The army hospital doesn't have a peds ward. So, at 3:30 in the morning, we went by amubulance back to the air force hospital. When we walked through the waiting room, I saw people still sitting there from 9:30.
We stayed the night there and they repeated some tests. All of which were still negative. At 3:30 in the afternoon, they discharged us. Her temp was between 101-102.
Since coming home, she has become very congested and today has a really bad cough. Yesterday, she had her follow up and they say it must just have been the beginning of an upper respiratory infection.
Last night, her fever was back, but today she seems to be pretty cool.
The nurses in the ER sang happy birthday to her after starting her IV. I will always remember that nurses in the ER sang to her first.
She is such a wonderful baby, and we love her so very much. I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by. I already miss my sweet tiny baby.
Happy birthday Emmie, we love you more than you can imagine.

Good times

Yesterday, Matt had to stop at the BX to buy some stamps. They just opened a Starbucks there, and were having the grand opening. There were two full boxes of entries for a 46" Sharp Aquos LCD HDTV. Matt put his name in.
About an hour later, they called to say that he won the TV. He went and picked it up today. It's a thing of beauty I tell ya!