For the Bible Tells Me So

Recently, on a message board I belong to, there was an uproar, involving me.  Actually, more about me.  It seems people on this board are upset about the fact that we are open to more children. 
They said terrible things to me, about me.  They called me selfish, and irresponsible.  They claimed God would never want us to have more kids.  It was ugly.  It is funny that they know exactly what God wants, because as far as I know, the ones who were so ugly, are all atheist.  I wouldn't expect them to have an inkling of understanding about the way we believe.
However, in light of this, I feel the need to explain, again, what we believe, and why.
Let me preface this by saying, I certainly don't have all the answers.  I also know that many do not believe the way we do, and that is fine.  I won't judge you for your decisions, please don't judge us for ours.

We believe that having children is a blessing.
 Psalm 127:3 says: Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.
Why would we deny ourselves God's blessings?  After many years of talking and praying about this specific topic, Matt and I have decided against birth control.  We don't feel like it is our place to decide how many children God wants us to have.  Is this because we just love having a newborn in the house?  No.  Of course we love that, and we love each and everyone of our children, but it is more obedience than anything.  We believe God decides when life is given and taken away.  I know God has given us brains, and I think Him for that, without that two of my children wouldn't be alive today.  I'm sure this seems like a contradiction.  And maybe it is.  All I can tell you, is that after years of prayer and talk, this is the decision that brings us peace.  Which means it is the right decisions for us.

 We believe every person is here for a reason.  God knows us before we are even in our mother's womb.  How can any person, then be formed just because of selfish parents?
Jeremiah 1:5 says “ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;.."

God knew my children would be exactly who they are.  He knew some would have broken hearts, as much as he knew some would be boys and some would be girls.  Nothing that happens, takes God by surprise.

We believe God has a plan for each one of us.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
These plans may not fit into our little ideals.  I certainly didn't plan to deal with the things we have dealt with, but God did.  And the plans will prosper us.  We will learn from things we go through and grow our faith.  Everything is in God's hands!  Not ours.  Of course, all of this changes when you aren't a believer, then you leave yourself wide open for Satan to take over, but that's a whole other topic. 
These plans may include something terrible.  They may mean a child doesn't survive.  I can't think of anything more terrible, but I know that God has a plan for everything and everyone. 
Romans 8:28 says :²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[i] have been called according to his purpose.
It doesn't say some things, it says ALL things.  We may not understand them.  We may not understand why our husband was suddenly killed in a car accident, or why our house burned to the ground killing all our children, but we can rest in the assurance that all things work for good of those who love him.  People always leave off the last part and just say, "all things work together for good" but the Bible is clear that for that to be true, you mus love him and be doing his will.
People also always ask how a good God could allow such suffering in the world.  Romans is a great book to read to learn that while God is faithful and just and loving and kind, there is also the wrath of God.

I feel none of this is making sense....

God loves us.  Every single one of us, and he wants the very best for us.  But there is a spiritual war going on.  Satan and God are at war for our souls.  The bottom line is you are for Him, or you are against Him.  There is no middle ground.
This is getting way off topic.
I'm just trying to show that we absolutely believe that God has a purpose for everyone.  He plans our children, before they are conceived. 
I know that people disagree, and that is OK, it is just the life we feel God is leading us to.  It isn't for everyone.  He has different plans for everyone.  Some may be called to adoption.  Some may be called to have no children, ever.  His plans for us are unique. 
I don't know why God has given us such challenges.  I have faith that on the day I see Jesus face to face, it will all become crystal clear.  That is good enough for me!
I don't think any of this makes us selfish.  I'm not sure how having kids is selfish anyway, it is hard work having kids!  It means sacrificing monetary goods.  It means sacrificing sleep.  It means sacrificing self!  How in the world, is that selfish??
It was also implied that God wouldn't want me to have kids that live the lives my kids live.  Lives involving doctor visits, and tests, and meds.
Again, I don't know why this is the life God has chosen for my kids.  I do know that it is exactly the life they are supposed to have, for whatever reason.  Their lives aren't any less worth living than the "normal" child's.  If you know my family, you can attest to the fact that my kids are happy and so well adjusted.  These people would like to believe that they have a miserable existence, but nothing could be further from the truth!  My children will one day be made whole and live for eternity!  How can there be anything bad about that???

Once again, I'm not judging anyone who thinks differently, not at all, I'm just asking for the same respect in return.  I know our life isn't for everyone, but it is for us.  Please, accept that, and keep your opinions to yourself. :-)

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Our Father's Love

Yesterday, Zachy was in my room and I said to him, "Zachy, do you know how much I love you?"
He replied, "yep"
Surprised, I asked him how much. He told me, "a whole lot".
I tried to explain to him that he couldn't possibly understand how much I truly love him. That until he is a parent, he'll never understand. And honestly, I think that a mother's love is different than a father's love, so he may never know.
Then it hit me.
How much more our Heavenly Father loves us.
We cannot even comprehend.
God loves us more than anything. We are undeserving of this love, and yet, He loves us anyway.
How awesome that God made us parents, so that we might be able to catch a glimpse of His love for us.
He truly is marvelous!

Lyrics, Before I go MIA

Before I leave for a bit, I wanted to share the lyrics of a song that has been speaking to me.
I've kind of been having a hard time lately, and it's nothing that anyone would understand. Well, unless you happen to be a CHD parent, then you probably would.
I went looking for the video yesterday, to post on my facebook page. Imagine my surprise to find a video about the inspiration for the song. It was inspired by the artist's friend, who has a CHD baby. And this song gets it. I can't explain what it is, but it's what the song gets.
Now that I've made zero sense at all, here are the lyrics. I added it to my playlist as well, so it could be playing as you read this.

Before the Morning, Josh Wilson


Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Chorus:
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning
yeah, yeah,
before the morning,
yeah, yeah

Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
memory, memory, yeah

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

com'n, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
just the dark before the morning
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning

Christian lyrics - BEFORE THE MORNING LYRICS - JOSH WILSON

Thoughtful Thursday

Painted by Nathan Greene, this is arguably one of my favorite pictures.
I know this scene has played out several times in my own life. Well, not mine, but the lives of my children.
So many people prayed so hard for them, and I know that God heard those prayers, and He was there, guiding the surgeons hands every step of the way.
I've been thinking lately, and I have to say, I think that CHD parents are amongst the strongest people around. Only, I don't feel strong. Not at all. I know that most of them are leaning heavily on Christ. It's only by the grace of God that we have gotten through what we have.
People tell me all the time that they don't know how we do what we do. The reality is, we have no choice. These children are our precious gifts from God, and He has a plan for them. What are we to do? Deny that gift? I think not.
I am so thankful to know a kind and loving God, who wants nothing but the best for our family. He is so wise! He knows the perfect kids for us. He knows exactly what we can handle (and what we can't). Isn't it wonderful to know that there is someone out there in charge? That we aren't just walking around by chance. That whatever happens, there is a plan. It might not be our plan, but we are at peace with the knowledge that there is a plan. And His plan is far better than ours could ever be.
And just as He guides us day to day, I know He guides the surgeons hands when they are operating on our tiny little babies.
Thank you, Jesus, for all you do for us. We are so unworthy of your care, and yet, you give it without a second thought. You, my Lord, are mighty and wonderful. I cannot wait for the day when we are all together, worshipping you all day long, in Your presence.