Grandpa

I've often wondered why the mean people live so long, and the good ones die young. Grandpa was one of the good ones. And he lived a good long life. He went downhill the last several years, and the last time we saw him, he was very frail. I have those images in my mind, but I'm going to remember the good times.
This was in 1994, when he drove all the way from southern California to eastern Washington, just to be at my high school graduation. He then turned around, a month later, to come to my wedding. In fact, he was the only extended member of my family to be at my graduation.



He did that a lot. And I totally took it for granted. He came when Matthew was born, and later in the year when Matthew was dedicated.
I just wish I hadn't taken it for granted.

This was at his 80th birthday party. When some people reach the cranky stage. Not him. He was there, lifting Matthew up to help him blow out his candles. I wish my kids knew him better. But as Dillon said, I can tell him the stories about watermelons, and make them his famous fried potatoes. I guess it will have to do.

Merry Christmas

It's been a great Christmas this year.
First of all, Collin is wearing his contacts all day. He really likes them, and can even take them out all by himself. I'm a bit concerned that someday he'll just decide to take them out for no good reason. But so far, one has come out every day and he takes it to Matt and says he needs it put back in. He has yet to let me put them in. Although, he did let Matt put some artificial tear drops in today, so I think we are definitely getting there.
We bought ourselves six flags season passes, and have been there twice so far. Both times we froze. We went Saturday night and it was so windy. Miserable, really. I can't wait to go when it is warmer.
We had made plans with some friends to take all the kids to see Alvin and the Chipmunks today, so decided we needed to do our big turkey dinner on Christmas Eve. We had those same friends over to eat and play games with us yesterday. It was so great. It makes life so much better to have good friends to share your time with. It also makes being far away from family much easier.
After they went home, we opened our family gifts. It was really great. We got mostly things we can do as a family. I love it. I made Matt a picture with all the kids' handprints on it. He had one from when we only had 3 kids, and always wanted me to add Zachy. So I made it with all five, finally.
My mom got us a new microwave. Microwaves older than 15 years can reset Zachy's pacemaker. Ours was questionable. We've had it 14 years, and have no idea if it was made 15 years ago or not. It's nice to just be safe. I don't know what to do with our old one though. It's in perfect condition, and seems silly to just donate to goodwill. Wish I knew someone who needed one.
Last night, Santa came to our house. And what did he bring? Why a Wii, of course. We are all so excited to have it! We love it. Great fun.
Today, we saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was cute. I've always been a fan of Theodore. So cute and cuddly. I think everyone in the city was there!
In all, it's been a really great Christmas.
But with happiness, always seems to come sadness.
Yesterday afternoon, my grandpa passed away. It was one of those things where it was good for him to die, but not for those of us who love him. He felt like he lived a good long life, and was really ready to go. But, we will miss him. Especially my dad. He didn't only lose his dad, but his best friend too. So if you could, would you just pray for him. He's really doing well. He knows it was time, but it's still hard to lose someone you love so much.
Also, I've been thinking all day, that now the holidays are over. Now Zachy's surgery will be here before we know it. And honestly, I don't want to go there. I have nothing to look forward to, to get my mind off it. I know we'll get through this, and everything will be ok. But there are always risks. And the future is not certain. And so, as a mommy, I worry. And...I pray. It's the only thing that gets me through.
OK, I've rambled far too long. I hope you all had a woderful Christmas.

Laundry Woes

As you can imagine, in a family of 7, there is a lot of laundry.
In our old house, I just did random laundry every day. I never sort, I just don't have the time.
Since we've moved, I've tried to change things up a bit.
I basically do laundry by room. This gives me 4 days of personal laundry, and 2 days to do sheets and other random laundry. I also do diapers twice a week.
It doesn't seem to be working out too well. I don't know why. Maybe because by the time I get to Collin and Zachy's room, they have a ton to do. And forget my room. That includes Emily's laundry, so that is an all day chore.
So my question is for those of you with large families. What is your routine like? What works for you? Is there a tried and true method that you would like to pass on to me. I'm up for anything to make this neverending chore a bit easier.

Praise the Lord

Tonight, Collin finished his dinner and said, "ok, I'm ready, put my contacts in" And Matt did.
Hopefully, tomorrow we'll get them in earlier in the day!

I just want to cry

Collin refuses to let us put the contacts in. All day I've been fighting him. No amount of bribary is working.
He says he just wants to go to heaven now so that his eyes will work. *Sob*

Forgot to mention

I didn't get to mention earlier that Em is waving now. It is super cute. She also gives kisses. How is my baby so cute??

Finally, that update I promised you

I promised an update, so here it is.
Last week, I celebrated my 32nd birthday. I have no idea how I got so old. I don't feel 32, but I catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and think I look really old. I have been plucking white eyebrows lately. *sigh* Happens to the best of us, I suppose.
Also, Dillon had an orthodontist appointment last week. That went fine, but I asked the dr to look at Matthew's mouth and see if his permanent teeth were trying to come in like I was suspecting. Indeed, they are. He needs to have 9 teeth pulled. NINE! Poor thing. So we are waiting on the oral surgery place on base. They have to look at his records and decide if he is a case they can take right now. If not, we go on a waiting list. I hope they can just get in and get it done. One less thing to worry about!
Collin and Emily also had eye dr appointments last week. Em's eyes look great. Next spring, they'll dilate her again and check to be sure she isn't following Collin's pattern. We also discussed putting Collin in contacts.
His glasses make everything up close teeny tiny to him. So she said she'd refer him, and see what we could do.
We went yesterday. The dr told me he was really lukewarm about doing anything because his astigmatism was so bad. He said if anything were to work, it would be a really long road and definitely custom made lenses.
He started doing all his measurements and started saying, "now this is really unusual" I chuckled, because that is what we always hear regarding our kids. The astigmatism on the exterior and interior don't match. This did something that caused them to be able to take contacts right off the shelf, put them in his eyes and cause him to see. He can see so well with them. There is no astigmatism correction right now. In January we will go back and get glasses that will correct the astigmatism. However, when they were testing lenses, over the contacts, he actually saw better without the correction than with it. It's totally wild. And we know that it is a miracle. We went from his eyes being so bad that there really was no hope besides going to the institute for the blind to blow up all his school for him, to pulling a pair of contacts off the shelf right there. All night, I had tears in my eyes as he did things he'd never done before. It was so great.
Today, on the other hand, he refuses to let me put them in. I remember writing about him hating his glasses and wondering if he'd ever wear them. And now we can't get them off. I've said for awhile that as soon as he realizes they help, we'll have a hard time getting the contacts off. We just have to get to that point.
OK, Em is screaming at me, so my time is up. Pray that we get them in!!

Musical Monday

OK, Cory over at Roosmom is doing a musical monday meme these days.
Today's was to post your favorite soundtrack video.
So...here's mine! I LOVE LOVE LOVE Grease and Grease 2.

I need some time!!

I have lots to write about.
I had a birthday! And we went to a great party! And some kids had drs appointments.
And I want to write about all of it...but I just don't have the time.
Emily cut a tooth, and life was great..for a few days. Now, it's partner is trying to make it's entrance, and things are not so great.
I promise, dear readers, I will be back, soon, to tell you all about the week.

HEHE, it just occurred to me that y'all are going to think it's really exciting, and I assure you, it isn't. But alas, I'll update anyway!

Moooooo

Back in high school, I bought the "It's a Cow Christmas" cassette tape.
How I loved that tape. Matt loved it too. We listened to it every year.
Then, at some point, we lost it. And we miss it!
You can't buy it anymore. This always happens with things I love. Take for instance the 80s game Dark Tower. My sister and I spent many hours playing that game when we were kids.
I decided one day that it would be great to introduce my kids to it. They don't make it either. In fact, it is now a huge collector's item, selling for over $300.
Lucky for my kids, my mom kept ours. So for Matthew's birthday, he received the game, and he loves it too.
I know my kids would love the cow christmas. Why can't I find it though? I could buy it on ebay for a chunk of change, but is it worth it? I just don't know.
I wish that the great things in life would just continue to be made for all time!

OH! I forgot to tell y'all!!

I ordered Matt and me Phantom of the Opera tickets yesterday!
The traveling show will be here in February and March.
I am SO SO SO excited!!!

Clearing something up, and some funnies

Some of you have asked me about Zachy's surgery and how it will be done.
If all goes according to plan, this will NOT be through the breastbone.
They will make a little incision by the pectoral muscle and put the generator under the muscle. Then they will thread the leads in through his veins.
The catch here is that there, apparently, is no such thing as a "pediatric" pacemaker. So we are dealing with adult size leads. And 4 year old size veins. The card seems to think that Z's veins are big and wide open, but they won't know until they get in there if they are big enough.
But, as of right now, the plan is to NOT open his chest, just a small pocket area.

~~~~~~~
When I call my mom, her husband will sometimes answer. It goes like this.
"Dave K____"
"Dave K____, is Cathy K_____ there?"
I say that everytime he answers like.
Collin has been walking around today saying,
"Dave K____ is Cavity K____ there?"
So cute.

~~~~~~~
Zachy always says, "mommy, can you help me?" then does whatever it is he needed help with and says, "nebermind" I know this is common, but it sound so stinking cute coming out of his mouth.

~~~~~~~

I thought I had more funny things to tell you, but I guess not. Hope you're having a great week.

God is so good

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe God is in control of all things.
Today, I was getting ready to make some stuffing for Emily.
She, of course, crawled in the kitchen after me, and started pulling on my legs.
Now, I really didn't want to pick her up. I really wanted to get water on the stove to boil. I just needed to get the measuring cup and put it on..real quick.
But instead, I picked her up.
I then, opened the cupboard above the stove to get the measuring cup out. A big, glass, measuring cup.
The cookbooks on the other side and fallen down, pushing the measuring cups over. When I opened the cupboard, the cups came falling down, shattering into a million pieces...right where Emily had been sitting.
Instead, of being covered in glass, she was safe in my arms.
Thank you, God, for always looking out for even the smallest of us.

It's set

January 16, 2008..Zach will get his pacemaker.
It was awful to have that be the first thing I had to write in my new calendar, so I had to quickly write in some birthdays!
We're trying hard not to talk about it that much, because after all, we are dealing with a child here, not a pacemaker. But the other day we said something about God loving Zach, and he said, "yes, and he gave me a special heart, JUST ME" And he found all his doctor stuff and has been walking around with the stethoscope around his neck, wearing latex gloves, saying, "can I please fix your heart?" So yeah...he knows something is up.
BUT..for now..tis the season to count our blessings.
And we are so very blessed.
Zach, for all intents and purposes, is really really healthy. As are the rest of the kids. They are all such a joy.
Emily continues to be very high needs though. Not that this is bad. I do know it will pass, but golly...it's rough. Her upper right front tooth is finally starting to poke through. It has been so swollen lately, and I'm hoping it will make for a happier girl. We'll see. I think it's wishful thinking, but I will wish anyway.
As usual, she is pulling on my legs, and my time is up. Someday, I'll post and not be interrupted by a crab apple crying or pulling on me!

How to make him understand?

I'm really struggling with this right now. How do we help Zach understand why he will need surgery? How do we help him understand why he will be able to feel something inside his body?
We've told him a million times that God gave him a special heart, but that doesn't help when it comes to pain.
To him, he seems fine. He isn't sick, or hurting, or anything like that. Just tired. But that doesn't seem to bother him too much!
I just don't know. He's going to hurt. And he's not going to understand why. That's the worst part.
Funny thing, after he was done with the holter monitor, he looked at me and said, "Collin can wear the stickers next time" He was mad that they hurt coming off and wasn't going to do it again...Collin could. So funny.
Yes, I know the answer is that he won't understand. But still...I wish he could.

Lonely ol blog

I feel the need to write, only I don't know what to write about.
While unpacking boxes, I came across all my old journal entries. All of them since 2001. And I started reading.
I have grown so much in these last 7 years, changed so much, and yet, I'm still little ol me. But, I actually had something to say back then. Now, I struggle to find anything to fill this blog with. Partly, I'm a bit worried about who will find me. But I'm not going to let that run my life.
I just really feel as if I have nothing to say. So, I bore you with rambly boring posts. Lucky you!
Last night, I went to a Mended Little Hearts meeting. Thanks Maria, for telling me about it. It really is so great. I want to be part of this group so much. The problem is, they meet on Wednesday nights. Just once a month. But still, I'm committed to Adventurers. I'm the director, after all. It's really perplexing me. How might I be able to make it work. They do great things like hospital visitation. That's something I'd love to get in on. When Zach was born, logically, we knew we weren't alone, but there was no one around. No one ever came to sit with us and say, "We've been here...we know how you feel...it will be alright" In fact, it wasn't until we moved here that we met other heart parents. So, yeah, it's something I'd really like to do. Because it's lonely. And scary.
I'm waiting on the scheduling lady to call me back to schedule Zach's pacemaker surgery. We're doing it in January. Too soon for me. But, I know he'll be ok. God will take care of him. He always does.
Emily continues to be congested. The people who lived here before didn't have animals, so now I'm totally stumped. Because we live closer to the army post now, we've asked to change their pediatrician to one on post. Maybe the change will bring some answers with it. We'll see. For now, she is super needy, and super fussy.
And, she's now awake, so my moment of peace is over.

Holter results

We talked with the electrophysiologist yesterday. That's a big fancy word for cardiologist who specializes in pacemakers.
The results of the holter were good. Apparently, when the heart starts to slow down, it will start having spurts of rapid rates (tachycardia) in with the slow rates(bradycardia). Thankfully, Zachy hasn't gotten the tachy...yet. Once that happens, they say it is much harder to correct with a pacemaker.
So we are at a good point to pace. His heart, on average, beats 20 beats slower than it should. With it dropping into the 30s while he sleeps. He also has junctional rhthym. Both of these are pretty easily correctable with a pacemaker.
At this point, we have been given the option of pacing now or waiting. He will have to be paced soon anyway, and if we wait, we run the risk of waiting too long. Right now, his heart is swollen. We can correct that with a normal rhythm, but again, if we wait too long, it won't go back to it's correct size.
So, really, while we have the option to wait, it is best to proceed with the pacemaker.
We are looking at the second half of January. The kids are all in gymnastics, and we want him to finish out this session, which ends the 19th of January. He loves it so much, we can't bear to keep him from it.
As for me..I'm kind of having a hard time. It was one thing to talk about it before the holter. I think I was hoping they'd say it all looked great, no need to pace. But no such luck. Now it's real. And it's hard.
Logically, I know he'll be fine. But still...he's my baby. And there's always a risk. And it's scary!
I have faith that God will take care of him, and that's all I need. I just need to push any negatives out of my head.

That was quick

We are back up and running! Woohoo!!
This has been the best move ever.
First, we love our new house. And are actually sad that we are just renting it for two years!
Second, if you ever have the chance to have movers come and pack you up and move you, I recommend it highly. This is the way to go. Pack in one day, move in the next.
We are settling in nicely. I almost have the kitchen unpacked, which always seems to be the hardest for me. It's tough trying to find a place for everything. I actually have plenty of room for all our "stuff" at this house. I was worried that the kitchen was a bit small, but in reality, it's big enough.
Matt is off for thanksgiving and Friday this week, so we will have a good long weekend to, hopefully, finish up.
Tomorrow, we have to go to our old house and clean it up for our final inspection on Monday morning. I'll tell ya, I could do without this part. Next time, I think we may hire cleaners.
So that's us right now..unpacking in a great new house.
Oh and great news...the family behind us has 6 kids and they homeschool. How cool is that??
Alrighty, I'm off to bed. Nighty night.

Ta Ta For Now

I just restarted this blog, now I'm leaving it! At least I warned you!
The packers come tomorrow to pack us all up. That includes the computer because we're stuck in the stone ages and don't have a laptop.
We are set to get internet service started on Friday, but who knows when we'll get to the computer. Soon, rather than later, I'm sure.
In the meantime, please say a little prayer for Z.
He wears his holter monitor tomorrow. We are hoping that it won't show anything unexpected and that we can wait on the pacemaker until after the holidays. Of course, my mom thinks the drs need to come up with a better answer than a pacemaker! I wish.
Alrighty dear readers, I'll see you on the flip side! Have a wonderful week.

I'M BACK!

As some of you know, my last blog is now gone.
This is due to some unfortunate circumstances that took place in real life. In an effort to be a bit hard to find I have renamed my blog and moved. Hopefully, it works!
Since we last "spoke" so much has happened.
First, we got news that we have to move. They are taking over our buildings and sending us to civilian housing. This is actually great, it was just really short notice and at a very stressful time in our lives. But, we will get through it. We move next week. This may the first post and last for awhile during the move. Hopefully not!
In other major news, we found out that Z needs to get a pacemaker. His heart is swelling. It's a huge bummer. Last year we were told that his heart was looking great. Now, not so much.
Thankfully, it isn't urgent, so we get to have the holidays and then in January or February he'll be getting paced.
There is so much going on, and yet I can't get it out. I've just spent a good long while setting this blog up, and now I'm tired, but alas, I'm back.
Hope you didn't miss me too bad!!