Friday, February 27, 2009

Alone

Do you ever feel entirely alone in the world?

Like you are the only one going through trials and tribulations? And you can't show yourself to the world, because you have to appear like everyone else?

Do you ever feel like you are the only one who battles internal demons?

I know this is foolish. I know we all have our own battles. It is so hard to see this when you look around and see anything but people fighting battles. I know other people are struggling. I know other people are beyond stressed. I just feel like I'm the only one who isn't strong enough to handle it. I feel weak. I am weak.

I told Matt the other day that I am weak and have absolutely no idea how in the world I have managed to get through my adult life when it has been almost constant stress. Don't get me wrong, we definitely have our non stressful times. Times when we are just flitting through life without a care in the world. But those times seem so overshadowed by the stress we have endured. I am so grateful to have Matt beside me through the good and bad.

I don't know where this post is going, because really, today is a very good day. Not much stress. There are upcoming tests to be done, which will be stressful, but I'll survive.

And I know that ultimately, maybe I'm not as weak as I feel. I've made it this far, that must say something.

OK, ignore this whole post..it is rambly and doesn't make any sense..and today is a good day...it's just been a stressful week.

2 comments:

Karie said...

Boy, have I had those days more than once. And, I also wonder how I have survived, but I know it is because God goes through all those days with us.

I really enjoy reading your blog, you have such a nice little family.

Cory said...

I definitely know how you feel, you are totally not alone in that. I think most people have experienced that at some stage in their life. And I think it's normal to look at your life and sometimes feel like it's more hard than easy. I have no words of wisdom for that, because all I can say is that it just plan sucks!

For what it's worth, however, I don't think you are a weak person. A weak woman would never be able to support a family like yours like you have. There have been many times that I have read your journal and been in awe at the things you've done and endured.

All we can do is keep on truckin' through the hard times, enjoy the good times, and trust that God has a plan for us and knows what He's doing.

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