Thursday, July 30, 2009

What we've been up to

I'm awfully sorry I have let my little blog be vacant for so long. I have just been wiped out lately, and haven't had the oomph to update.
So what have we been doing lately?
We are working on potty training. Emily does really well. She just hasn't gotten to the point of telling us she needs to poop, so unless we catch her, it's not nice. Someday, she'll tell us...I hope!
Today, Collin and Zachy went to the dentist. Collin had a tooth wiggled out. He was so scared, but did really, really well. Once he got his happy gas he was good to go.
Zachy had some fillings and sealants, and also did well.
Tarzan is doing well and growing quickly. I had an appointment on Tuesday where we were going to find out the gender. However, someone decided to show us very cute feet that were crossed tightly right in the right place. Oh well. We go back next month, and all that really matters is that everything looks good right now.
In our free time, we are focusing on getting ready to go to OshKosh. We leave in a week and a half. It will be nice to be there and then back home again. It's been an awful lot of planning and I'll be glad to have it done. I am looking forward to it though.
We are also coming up on the big birthday season for us. Zachy's birthday is the 5th and Collin's is on the 10th. We'll be taking them to chuck E cheese before we leave.
And then there is the normal planning for the upcoming school year. That always takes time.
But other than that, life goes on as usual.
I'll try to post something more exciting in another post. Maybe put some pictures up.

Monday, July 20, 2009


Edited to add: my sister told me this sounds like they will be removing his eye in September. No, they will be doing a surgery to help him be comfortable. The doc talked with him about removing his eye because, at some point, that is what will happen.

Today, Matthew had a follow up appointment with the glaucoma doc.
After adding another drop, his pressure was actually higher today than last week.
The doc said it was time to start making some hard decisions. The cornea doc decided it was too soon to say his cornea is failing. But they both agreed that it definitely will. And when it does, it will be painful.
But for now, we have decided to move forward with a laser surgery. It is a procedure that will cause his eye to stop making so much fluid. This will, hopefully, reduce the pressure.
The goal is to keep him as comfortable as possible for as long as possible.
The doctor talked him through the procedure to remove an eye, which made Matthew feel much better.
So, surgery is tentatively scheduled for the first week of September. I do hope it helps him be comfortable!

Friday, July 17, 2009

I'm angry

I am struggling to write this post.
The last thing I ever want to do is cause someone to struggle in their walk because of something I do or say. Please know that these are my own feelings and I do not want anyone else to feel them on account of me. Keep walking strong!
As for me...I'm angry. God and I are having a disagreement right now. And it's OK. He knows I get angry, and He loves me anyway.
Yesterday, Matthew had an eye appointment. If you are new to this blog, Matthew is 12 years old and has glaucoma in his right eye. The goal for the last several years has been to keep the pressure under control in an effort to 1)preserve the tiny amount of vision in that eye (he can see shadows only, which helps him to avoid running into things) and 2)keep him out of pain.
He has been on several different medications over the years. They start out great, but over time, stop working.
We knew we were getting to the end, we just weren't really ready for it.
His drop is no longer working. And now his cornea is swelling. The question is, is it swelling because of the pressure, or because it is failing? No one really knows.
The doctor mentioned a couple different surgeries that would probably destroy any vision, but may reduce the pressure, and possibly the swelling. It would basically be to ease any pain.
The doctor didn't seem to really think that surgery was worth doing because of the loss of vision.
So, if the pressure continues uncontrolled, it will hurt, and the cornea swelling will hurt.
Eventually, he will most likely lose his eye.
Matthew is growing up, and we've talked with him about what he wants. How much more does he want to be put through?
He has decided that he doesn't want to be in pain, and he doesn't want to lose his eye. He wants to do any surgeries, even if they fail, to try and avoid those two scenarios.
The doctor added another drop, I'm not sure why, and we go back on Monday to see how it's working. I think if it helps, it's just a matter of time before it stops, and the doctor said the same thing.
I feel like the last 13 years have been for nothing. All that he has been through, will he end up losing the eye anyway?? Why have we been put through this trial? For nothing.
OK. OK. I know there must be some reason. I just cannot understand how putting a child through so much for nothing, can possibly be God's will. But then, I'm not God, and I don't see the whole picture.
I know some of you are sitting there thinking, 'what's the big deal, it's just an eye, there are much worse things'. Believe me, I know first hand that there are much worse things, but he's my baby..and well, I'm pregnant so everything seems worse.
I think I'm not so upset by this latest appointment, but I feel like we've lost the battle we've fought for so long. The rotten eye won! We'll show it in the end though, when it's removed, never to torment us again!! HA!
I have always said I would gladly give both my eyes, to fix his one eye. I still mean it. What I wouldn't do to take this all away from him. *sigh*
If only it were that easy.
Let me just say though, that Matthew is the most amazing kid. He takes it all, and doesn't let it get him down. It's gotta be hard, but you'd never know it by looking at him. I'm so proud to be his mom.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Maybe we are just too overprotective

So Matthew has swimmer's ear. I had to take him to the doctor to get some drops. I don't know if they do this at all military bases, but here they divide clinics up between pediatric and adolescent. At his last physical, we were told we could keep our same doctor or he could go up to the adolescent clinic. We had decided we would keep the same doctor.
When I called to make his appointment, they had one available, and only one, in the adolescent clinic.
Dillon had a Bible study to go to, so I had Matthew and the younger 3.
They called Matthew back for his vitals and I was in shock.
The huge bulletin board was covered with nothing but info on STDs. And condoms! Yes, condoms in packages hanging on the board. Even a cartoon of cookie monster holding a condom that said, "C is for condom".
There were statistics about if you have X amount of partners, then you are having sex with all these other people. I was really horrified.
How do they get to decide that it is ok to expose my kids to all that. I watched my kids closely and none of them paid attention to the board, but had Dillon been there, it would have been a different story.
There was a very disturbing picture of a guy with herpes all over his mouth. I can imagine Dillon would have been asking me about it.
When it was time to see the doctor, the bulletin board was covered with what to do if you are raped. And on the counter, instead of cotton swabs and tongue depressors was a huge box of condoms...and a diaphragm. OK, if the point is to prevent STDs, why the diaphragm? Matt says because they consider kids an STD.
Anyway, I was really, realy upset. WE should decide when our kids learn about sex and STDs, NOT the government.
I know it is much worse in schools and it reinforced our decision to homeschool.
And you know, it isn't just adolescents going to the clinic. It is younger siblings going with them. Who are they to expose that to my kids??
The doctor also told Matthew that from now on, they would be meeting with him alone in case he had any questions about anything regarding growing up. I don't know about that either. Matthew said there is no way he's talking to a complete stranger about anything personal!
Maybe we are just way too overprotective, I don't know. I just know that we are not comfortable with him going to the adolescent clinic again. Not yet, anyway.
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