Spilling it

Lately, I'm really struggling with myself.
I am so unhappy with my body. I have been my entire life. I feel like a broken record, I know you have heard this all before.
My weight affects almost every part of my life. I hate meeting new people, because in my head, I am thinking that they are thinking what a fatty I am. I especially hate meeting new people with Matt, then I'm really certain that they are looking at us wondering what he is doing with me.
The one place it doesn't affect me is with Matt. I know, without a doubt, that he loves me, no matter what I weigh.
My kids like to tell me what a jiggly belly I have. It's awful.
You would think that this would be enough to do something. I started weight watchers last week, I did really well. Then this week came and I totally fell off the wagon, and I gained everything back. Which tells me that I lost water weight, but still.
I feel like such a huge failure. I hate that this consumes me, and yet I don't have enough will power to change this.
I sabotage myself. I tell myself that I need to lose weight, and I think that for a long time. Then I tell myself that I really just need to be happy with myself.
*sigh* I don't know..I just feel like a huge failure.

Hodge Podge

Life is back to normal! Everyone is well and we have resumed life as we know it.
Last Friday, we had a great time! We went with the homeschool drama group up to Greeneville to a museum that has loads of Annie Oakley artifacts. We learned lots about Annie and Frank Butler. The kids really enjoyed the rest of the museum as well. Our group was too big, and I think that someday we may go back with just our family so we can take our time and soak it all up. It really helped bring the play to life though.
This week, we have something happening almost every night. How quickly that happens.
Tonight we went to the Y where I did water aerobics, and everyone else swam. It was the first time Zachy has been able to swim since surgery!
~~~
I just started typing out our whole schedule for you, and then realized you really don't care! LOL
~~~~
OH!!! This is CHD awareness week! I've been a busy little bee spreading awareness where I can.
I have been busy trying to get "likes" on my Go, Baby, Go! page in an effort to reach more people. I'm currently having a contest to give away 3 bags of Rockin Green. Also, if I hit 200 likes by Wednesday at midnight, I'm going to draw from the fans to giveaway a knickernappies diaper. I also donated a mobywrap to an auction whose proceeds go to CHD awareness. You can click on that Go, Baby, Go! button on the side to like my page for details! I'd appreciate it!
What is Go, Baby, Go! you ask? We carry cloth diapers, baby carriers, teething jewelry, and baby skincare. We also offer local people the opportunity to actually see the dipes and try them on your baby. We offer cloth diapering and baby wearing classes, AND we offer a newborn rental package, which I think is just great!
If any of these things interest you, please go like me!!
~~~~
Somehow this got totally rambly...I'm tired..I need to go to bed. Hopefully, next time I'll have something intelligent to say!! HA!