Tuesday, July 12, 2011

For the Bible Tells Me So

Recently, on a message board I belong to, there was an uproar, involving me.  Actually, more about me.  It seems people on this board are upset about the fact that we are open to more children. 
They said terrible things to me, about me.  They called me selfish, and irresponsible.  They claimed God would never want us to have more kids.  It was ugly.  It is funny that they know exactly what God wants, because as far as I know, the ones who were so ugly, are all atheist.  I wouldn't expect them to have an inkling of understanding about the way we believe.
However, in light of this, I feel the need to explain, again, what we believe, and why.
Let me preface this by saying, I certainly don't have all the answers.  I also know that many do not believe the way we do, and that is fine.  I won't judge you for your decisions, please don't judge us for ours.

We believe that having children is a blessing.
 Psalm 127:3 says: Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.
Why would we deny ourselves God's blessings?  After many years of talking and praying about this specific topic, Matt and I have decided against birth control.  We don't feel like it is our place to decide how many children God wants us to have.  Is this because we just love having a newborn in the house?  No.  Of course we love that, and we love each and everyone of our children, but it is more obedience than anything.  We believe God decides when life is given and taken away.  I know God has given us brains, and I think Him for that, without that two of my children wouldn't be alive today.  I'm sure this seems like a contradiction.  And maybe it is.  All I can tell you, is that after years of prayer and talk, this is the decision that brings us peace.  Which means it is the right decisions for us.

 We believe every person is here for a reason.  God knows us before we are even in our mother's womb.  How can any person, then be formed just because of selfish parents?
Jeremiah 1:5 says “ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;.."

God knew my children would be exactly who they are.  He knew some would have broken hearts, as much as he knew some would be boys and some would be girls.  Nothing that happens, takes God by surprise.

We believe God has a plan for each one of us.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
These plans may not fit into our little ideals.  I certainly didn't plan to deal with the things we have dealt with, but God did.  And the plans will prosper us.  We will learn from things we go through and grow our faith.  Everything is in God's hands!  Not ours.  Of course, all of this changes when you aren't a believer, then you leave yourself wide open for Satan to take over, but that's a whole other topic. 
These plans may include something terrible.  They may mean a child doesn't survive.  I can't think of anything more terrible, but I know that God has a plan for everything and everyone. 
Romans 8:28 says :28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose.
It doesn't say some things, it says ALL things.  We may not understand them.  We may not understand why our husband was suddenly killed in a car accident, or why our house burned to the ground killing all our children, but we can rest in the assurance that all things work for good of those who love him.  People always leave off the last part and just say, "all things work together for good" but the Bible is clear that for that to be true, you mus love him and be doing his will.
People also always ask how a good God could allow such suffering in the world.  Romans is a great book to read to learn that while God is faithful and just and loving and kind, there is also the wrath of God.

I feel none of this is making sense....

God loves us.  Every single one of us, and he wants the very best for us.  But there is a spiritual war going on.  Satan and God are at war for our souls.  The bottom line is you are for Him, or you are against Him.  There is no middle ground.
This is getting way off topic.
I'm just trying to show that we absolutely believe that God has a purpose for everyone.  He plans our children, before they are conceived. 
I know that people disagree, and that is OK, it is just the life we feel God is leading us to.  It isn't for everyone.  He has different plans for everyone.  Some may be called to adoption.  Some may be called to have no children, ever.  His plans for us are unique. 
I don't know why God has given us such challenges.  I have faith that on the day I see Jesus face to face, it will all become crystal clear.  That is good enough for me!
I don't think any of this makes us selfish.  I'm not sure how having kids is selfish anyway, it is hard work having kids!  It means sacrificing monetary goods.  It means sacrificing sleep.  It means sacrificing self!  How in the world, is that selfish??
It was also implied that God wouldn't want me to have kids that live the lives my kids live.  Lives involving doctor visits, and tests, and meds.
Again, I don't know why this is the life God has chosen for my kids.  I do know that it is exactly the life they are supposed to have, for whatever reason.  Their lives aren't any less worth living than the "normal" child's.  If you know my family, you can attest to the fact that my kids are happy and so well adjusted.  These people would like to believe that they have a miserable existence, but nothing could be further from the truth!  My children will one day be made whole and live for eternity!  How can there be anything bad about that???

Once again, I'm not judging anyone who thinks differently, not at all, I'm just asking for the same respect in return.  I know our life isn't for everyone, but it is for us.  Please, accept that, and keep your opinions to yourself. :-)

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”


Anonymous said...

Press along weary pilgrim. When God ask you to be a leader for those weaker .You tend to feel alone that the devil fights you a little harder. Continue doing what God has blessed and called you to do, you will be blessed. You have been a blessing to me.
Jen Payne

Michelle Evans said...

It all makes perfect sense to me :D I heard people had that conversation about me when I went to have a second child after my first was born with hemophilia. In hindsight, my second child was a blessing in so many ways - first he has no hemophilia, but my son now has a brother and the two of them have one another to lean on in light of their dad's death last year. I, too, trust that God is working out all things for my own good. He is good. Always. And while Mark and I have no plans to have more kids - between us we have 5 and he's had a V - I have always pondered why so many of us trust God with everything but our fertility. Perhaps I might have felt as you do had I pondered that question earlier in my life :D You are blessed indeed, Bekki. You inspire me and your Spirit shines through.

Anonymous said...

Aww Bek, people can be so rotten, your kiddos are perfect, and you and Matt have blessed this world with your kids. Keep em coming! :) Love you and your brood!


Simple Homemaker said...

Hi, I am a new follower from CSAHM. I just want to encourage you to keep on fighting and doing what God wants you to do. Children ARE such a blessing and the enemy will do everything he can to discourage you from God's plan. You must be doing something right if the devil is working so hard to discourage you. I am glad I found your site and I look forward to spending some more time here!

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