My Weakness

I've been debating writing this post.  Fear is what has stopped me.  Fear that somehow, if I put this out there, people will think I'm an inferior homeschooler.  However, I promised when I changed the name of this blog, that I would be honest, with hopes that someone could relate and say, "finally, someone struggling with the same thing as me." 
And so, here we go.
My weakness in homeschooling is.....lesson planning.
I hate it.  More than that, I despise it. 
Why?  It makes my life easier.  I do it, even though I hate it, so I know it makes life easier, but still..I hate it.
I hate it because I'm not good at it.
I really, really struggle with it.  Once I get going, it is really ok, and I do it every year, it is just so hard for me to start.
In reality, it should be easy.  You have 100 pages to do in 10 days, you do 10 pages a day.  Simple, right?
You'd think so, but for some reason, when it comes to lesson planning, I freeze.
It is SO hard for me to get past the frozen part.
I have read all kinds of articles on how to lesson plan and taken classes at conferences, and still, I struggle.
I'm not really sure what I'm afraid of.  Is it that if it's written down, and we don't do things on the days I plan for, I feel like a failure?  I feel like we are suddenly behind!  Behind who??  Behind what??  We homeschool for flexibility, so why am I concerned about getting "behind"?
I have planning to do.  I will start tonight.  Maybe.  Ugh!  See!!!  I'm frozen!
So that's my weakness, well one of them, what is yours?