Just One More Reason I Hate You, CHD...

Last night, Zachy asked me if I thought we were going to have another good Christmas this year.
I told him that sure we would
He then asked if we were going to have another baby this Christmas.
I told him that no, we wouldn't be.
He was so sad and asked me why. Then Dillon chimed in, "yes, why not?"
I had to explain to them that not all babies with CHDs live, and I could not handle losing one of them. It would just be too much.
Dillon said, "yes, but isn't it really rare to have three babies with heart defects?"
Then I had to explain that it is indeed, very, very rare...but it is also incredibly rare to have two with the same defect. A rare defect, at that.
Zachy then told me he guessed it wouldn't be a good Christmas this year,after all, not without a new baby.


Yes, CHD, we would have loved to have more kids, but you have ruined those plans for us. I hate you intensely because of that. I grieve the children we won't have, because of you. I hate you.