And Then There Were Seven

Griffin Tennessee

9 lb 7 oz  20 1/4 in 

February 29, 2012, 11:01 PM

Griffin: Man of strong faith

On Wednesday (leap day!!) I had a routine doctor's appointment. 
I had said on Facebook how great I thought a leap day baby would be, but that I wasn't holding my breath!
At 3, I went to the doctor.  When she checked me she asked if I was having contractions, because I was dilated to 4 cm.  I told her I was having them, but I always have them, so it wasn't surprising.  She wanted me to go on the monitors to see if I was indeed contracting regularly.  I was 38 weeks, 4 days, and while she couldn't induce me at that point, if I was in labor, she could help speed things up.
Once on the monitors, it was discovered that I was indeed contracting every 4 minutes. 
She then presented me with two options: head to the hospital and have baby, or go home and wait things out. 
Here's where things got tricky.
After Emily was diagnosed with T1D, we knew things would be different in regards to what happened with the kids when I had the baby.  No longer could we just leave them all at home under the care of the older boys.  Thankfully, a dear friend of mine is a school nurse.  School nurses deal with T1Ds everyday.  We had decided that if for some reason, I went before my mom was able to get here, Molly would watch the kids.  However, the week before, Molly told me her hubby wanted her to go to New Orleans with him while he was on business.  She said she didn't want to leave me without someone, but I assured her the chances of me going into labor were slim to none, and I didn't want her missing time with her hubby on account of me!
I texted Molly and asked if she was still in town, she was! 
We decided it was go time.  I headed to the hospital, and Matt waited at home until Molly could get there.
I arrived at the hospital at about 5:30.  I kept joking about how we were in a hurry, because I wanted a leap day baby, all the while knowing that probably wouldn't happen.
After getting me admitted, they started IVs and gave me some pit to get the contractions going a bit faster.  After a little bit, the doctor on call came in and broke my water.  No turning back now!  But I was so focused on my leap day baby, I didn't care! 
Shortly after that, they asked me if I wanted an epidural.  I'm so wishy washy when it comes to epidurals.  I've given birth both ways, and honestly, I don't know why I sometimes choose no epidural, other than it scares me to death.  After talking with the anesthesiologist, I decided I would go ahead and get one. 
It was rough.  It took her 3 times to place it in the right place.  During which time I was shaking and crying and contracting.  I was wondering what in the world I was doing, but figured I'd gone through most of it, I wasn't stopping now!  Finally, it was in and I started to feel great. I could move me legs, but couldn't feel the contractions.  I kept having to look at the monitor to see if they'd stopped.  No, they didn't.
At one point the nurse came in and said the baby did something funny, and she wanted to check me.  The chart looked funny, but I really don't know what it was.  I was 5 cm.  This was at about 10.  I told Matt we weren't going to make leap day.
After a very short time, I started to feel nauseous.  Then cold.  I had a feeling I was in transition, but didn't want to say anything since the nurse had just been in to check!  After about half an hour, I was shaking pretty good and was feeling pressure.  We called the nurse, who was shocked to find me 9 cm.  She called out to the desk to have them call my doctor.  She asked if I wanted to lay on my side to wait, or if I wanted to get my legs in stirrups so I was ready when the doc got there.  I asked how long it would take the doctor, and the nurse told me about 15 minutes.  I said that I would lay on my side, because that was too long to wait in stirrups. 
However, with the next contraction, I had lots of pressure, and told the nurse I didn't think the doctor would make it.  She had me roll over and looked, and his head was coming down.  She called for more nurses and the in house doctor.  He came in, just as the next contraction was hitting.  I had the urge to bear down, and did, ever so slightly.  His head came out, followed by the rest in short order.
We had made leap day, with 59 minutes to spare!
My doctor came strolling in, shortly after he was born. 
Griffin Tennessee came into the world weighing 9 lb 7 oz.  He is 20 1/4 inches long.  He is also the picture of health.
This hospital has been amazing about staying on top of things and making sure he is, indeed, healthy.  They did an echo-cardiogram of his heart, which found his heart to be healthy. 
Unbeknownst to me, Molly was scheduled to leave, the very next day.  Choosing to have him on Wednesday was the very best thing we could have done.  I'm not sure I would have held out for another week when my mom could be there.
I look and see how God has all the details of our lives, in His hands, and it amazes me.
Everything went perfectly.  He is perfect.  I feel great. It was time for some good in our lives, and everything has been far better than good!  The kids are all over the moon happy to have him, and so are we.  God is good.  All the time.

How am I doing? Not great

I've been wanting to write this entry, but have been hesitating. 
I'm afraid it will make me look weak, and well, I feel weak enough on my own, I don't really need the confirmation from others.
However, when I changed the name of my blog, I promised to keep things real.  I promised to let that weakness show through. 
So, here we go. 
This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  This whole diabetes thing, I mean.
It is so so hard.
The thing is, I know that no one understands that.  Unless you've been where we are, you have no clue.  People think diabetes can be controlled with diet and exercise.  And while that's true in type 2 diabetes, it is not true in type 1.  I know I said it in my last post, but no amount of exercise...no perfect diet...nothing we do will make her not dependent on insulin.  Her body doesn't make it. 
Her body has decided that it would be fun to destroy her pancreas.  I'm having such a hard time with this.  I don't understand it.
CHD makes more sense to me than this.  I mean, the fact that a heart ever forms normally is the thing I don't understand.  It's so involved.  It makes sense that it doesn't form perfectly every single time.
But this....I don't understand this.  How does it happen that one day your body just up and decides to start attacking itself??  I don't understand!
And the fact that I don't understand is making it so hard for me to cope with this.  Maybe cope is the wrong word.  I mean, we get through, we do what we have to do.  We check blood glucose levels all through the day and night.  We inject our daughter with insulin at least 4-5 times a day.  We count carbs.  We watch her behavior, trying to determine if her glucose is going too high or too low. 
We do these things, we get through, day by day.  What I'm talking about it coping emotionally.
I am having an incredibly hard time dealing with the fact that this isn't going away.  Ever.  Sure, there's talk of finding a cure, but who knows when that will be.  Right now we know it's not going anywhere.  This will be my sweet, sweet child's reality, forever. 
How does one accept that?  How does one deal with that knowledge?  Other than just doing what we do?
But yeah, it is so hard.
Days like today, I just want to curl up in bed and never leave.  Try to wake up from this nightmare.
After dealing with a day of low sugars all day yesterday, she woke up wanting daddy.  Well, daddy wasn't here.  She had a huge meltdown, didn't want me to check her sugar, didn't want to eat, just wanted daddy.  Finally, I was able to convince her that she would feel better if she ate.  And she did. 
I go crazy trying to figure out why her BG (blood glucose) levels do what they do.  For no rhyme or reason they will shoot too high, or drop really low.  I don't understand any of it.  Honestly, I'm a pretty smart cookie, but this disease has me so confused.  I hate the feeling. I  need to understand these different things.  And yet, I have a dear friend whose daughter has type 1 as well, who has been holding my hand through this, and who keeps telling me that there really is no reason for anything this disease does.  She says the sooner I accept that, the sooner I will stop going nuts.  It's in my nature to want an explanation though! 
So yeah, I'm having a hard time dealing with this.  I know, in time, it will get better.  Right now, it sucks.  Right now, I can't even say the words, "Emily has diabetes" out loud without breaking down. 
I guess if all this makes me weak, then it is what it is.  I feel completely weak and broken right now.
I just wish my girl would get better, and I know she won't.  That's the most helpless feeling in all the world.

Update on Emily

Since I last wrote, I am happy to report that we are home.  Emily is doing much better.  We are working on getting all her sugar levels regulated.  Who knew that this was so much trial and error??
Who knows much about Type 1 Diabetes?  I sure didn't.  I feel like I still don't.  But I'm learning quickly!
For example, did you know that when diagnosed, 70-80% of the cells that make insulin have been destroyed?  And that within a year, the rest will be destroyed?  Her pancreas will never make insulin again!  I had no idea that T1D was an autoimmune disease!  That's a huge difference between type 1 and type 2...type 2 can be somewhat controlled with diet.  Type 1, even if you are eating the healthiest foods, you still need insulin to get the sugar to the cells.  No "perfect" diet is going to give you that insulin.  You HAVE to have injected insulin. 
It's all so crazy to me! 
And where does it come from?  They don't know!  Another one of those things that no one knows the origin of that just so happened to hit my family!  Crazy, crazy, crazy!
So, we are trucking along.  Em gets at least four injections a day, sometimes more, all depending on her glucose levels.  Today was a happy day, with only four!
She has hated the injections....who would like them?  She is getting better though.  Someone told us a trick, which is helping tremendously.  We freeze quarters, she puts them where she wants her injection, it numbs the skin a bit, and the injection doesn't hurt as bad.  She then gets the quarter.  I made a huge deal out of it and called them magic quarters.  Now she thinks they are magic, and while she still says she's scared, she doesn't cry anymore.  
I can't imagine how confused she must be.  There's no way she can understand any of this.
Earlier tonight, Natalie was laying on the ground and Emily was being her doctor.  She told Natalie that she was at the doctor because she had diabetes, and that she, herself, got diabetes when she was little.  She explained to her that she needed "shots" and gave them to her.  She also told her of the magic quarters and that all she had to do was say "brrrr".
She amazes me.  She is so brave.  She tells everyone, "I had to go to the doctor because I have diabetes."  It breaks my heart to hear her say that.  To me, it's still surreal!
My family has been through so much.  And through it all, I still know that God is good. 
I know some people think I'm crazy for thinking such a thing, especially after everything we've endured.  I know, though, that He has a plan for us.  It may not be a great plan!  It may just be a plan to help our children learn to lean on Him, no matter what.  Dillon told me last night that he knows God has big plans for our family.  I'm not so sure.  I certainly don't see us as the type to be out there telling the world our story, impacting loads of people, but if we can impact our children, it is all worth it to me. 
I'm pretty sure, the plan won't be revealed to us, this side of Heaven, and I'm ok with that also.
In closing, just a cute thing that happened in the hospital. 
There were loads of doctors coming in and out, everyone talking with Emily and us. 
Someone was asking her about her brothers and sister.  They asked who her favorite brother was.  She looked at them like they had three heads, and said, "all of them, I love them all!" 
And that's the type of girl Emily is.  She loves everyone (except by the end of the hospital stay she did say she didn't really like people she didn't know..of course not, they all poked her!).  She is so silly, and such a good big sister.  If you know her, you are blessed.  I don't know how we got lucky enough to be her parents.  She's one amazing little girl.

Communities

Did you know that this week is Congenital Heart Defect Awareness week?  Well, it is. 
I sit here and think about how I became a part of this community.  It's a great community of people, just not one I ever thought, in a million years, I'd be part of.  And yet, here we are.  We've been here for eight years.  And we've survived eight years! 
In the middle of the week that so many CHD parents are so passionate about, we find ourselves thrust, head first, with no warning, into a different community. 
One that, right now, seems just as frightening.
Another chronic illness community.
Another community I never, in a million years, thought we would join.
A couple months ago, Emily started wetting the bed.  We weren't sure why, but finally bought her some Goodnites because she was wetting the bed nightly. 
Then, she started not making it to the toilet in time.  I thought she was just being totally distracted for whatever reason.
Over the last couple weeks, it has gotten increasingly worse.  To the point of needing to go to the bathroom about every half an hour. 
Of course, the first assumption is a UTI, but she said nothing hurt.  And while she had the urgency issue, she was peeing a LOT. 
Yesterday, we hit a new low.  She was going potty all day long. 
On Monday, I had made her an appointment with the pediatrician, but they couldn't see her until Thursday.
Last night, she was up all night, needing to go to the bathroom.  Finally, around 5 am, she fell asleep and just peed in her goodnite.  By 8 am her goodnite was completely soaked through and the bed was soaked as well.
I took her to the ER, because I knew something was very wrong.  They took us right back.  The first thing they did was test her blood sugar.  She hadn't eaten since last night, and her sugar was 298. 
After running several more tests, they told us Emily has Type 1 Diabetes.
I think I'm in shock.  I know nothing about diabetes.  Nothing.   It all seems so scary right now.  I know we will learn to live with this, but today has been rough.  So many finger sticks and blood draws and IVs and insulin shots.  By the time I left tonight (Matt is staying the night with her) she was screaming bloody murder when they gave her her shots.  She is so scared, and this must all be so confusing to her.  I want to take it all away from her, but as we know, I can't.
And so I sit here, wondering what lesson God needs us to learn.  What we are missing.  Wondering when we will get it right!
And I also am wondering what the diabetes community is like.  I guess I'll find out soon enough.

Sweet Emily with her new diabetes bear, Rufus.  He has owwies on all his injection sites.

She was soo happy to see Natalie.  All day she kept saying, "I NEED to see my sister"

Apparent Hiatus

I know I've disappeared. 
It's just that I try really hard for my blog to be uplifting and encouraging to others.  I'm going through a really difficult patch right now, and honestly, have a hard time coming up with positives to write about.
That sounds so bad.  I am so blessed, beyond measure.  How dare I say I have hard time coming up with positive posts?  *sigh*
This too shall pass. 
In the mean time, Miss Nannie had her second birthday yesterday!  It was such an emotional day for me.  I don't remember her first birthday being so emotional for me, and I can only chalk it up to being pregnant. 
In pregnant news, all is trucking along without any issue.  I'm almost 31 weeks, and it seems the next 9 weeks will last an eternity.
I am such an emotional mess lately, that I'm really looking forward to not crying at everything.  Other than that, I feel pretty good.  Starting to have sleepless nights due to be uncomfortable, but during the day, I'm good.
Matt started school again this week.  He is getting his doctorate degree.  Thankfully, because he's already a practicing audiologist, he can do the program online. 
The rest of the kids are all doing well, just growing like weeds and keeping a smile on mama's face. :-)

Bounce? On a bar??

Whew!  We got rid of cable, and now we use Hulu to watch TV.  This requires the use of my computer, which is killing my ability to blog!
However, I have to tell you about my Bounce Dryer bar!

I was sent one of these handy dandy bars to review on my blog!

For those of you who don't know, I have six children, and 1 husband.  I cloth diaper my toddler.  I have some bed wetting kids.  I have a teenager, and a 4 year old girl who change clothes all the time.

In short, I do a LOT of laundry!  My washing machine and dryer go almost constantly.

When I received my bar in the mail, I was super excited!  You see, anything to eliminate a step, is something I am all for!  One less thing to remember!

I popped it in my dryer and let the drying begin, without having to remember my dryer sheet. 

It works just as well and a Bounce dryer sheet.  Except that those dryer sheets sure have lots of handy uses, like putting them in dresser drawers, or the bottom of garbage cans, etc.  I suppose you could throw a whole bar in your dresser drawer, but that's a bit of overkill, I think.

The lack of other uses is a small price to pay to not have to think about a dryer sheet for the next 2 months (although I'm sure mine won't last that long because of the amount of laundry I do!).

I got the Bounce Free bar, but I imagine the scented bars smell just like the dryer sheets. 

This little bar is great.  No static coming out of my dryer in these dry months! Hooray!

The only drawbacks I can see are 1)as mentioned above, I like to eliminate steps, also mentioned is the fact that I cloth diaper.  You can't use fabric softener or dryer sheets of any kind when washing/drying your diapers.  It is sometimes difficult for this old mind to remember that I have to take the bar out for drying the dipes.  That whole process is a cinch though.  Just slide it and pull it out.  I just have to remember to do that!

And 2) I'm not sure what will happen should we decide not to use the dryer bar in the future.  There is a hard plastic part that seems permanently fixed to my dryer now, and I'm not sure how well it will come out.  You replace the bar by sliding it out of the permanent part and sliding a new bar in, it's just that hard plastic part I don't know about.  Is it a big deal to leave something like that in your dryer forever?  Probably not.  So maybe not a downfall after all!

All in all, I will buy these in the future! 

Surgery, Fall, and Dillon...what a combination!

I've been sitting here, trying to figure out what to write..but I can't come up with anything meaningful.
It seems like I'm always just updating on the health of my kids.  My mom told me the other day that she thought going to endless doctor appointments would get old.  I don't know, it's been my life for the last 15 years, it's all I know, it's just life.
But it makes me think maybe it gets old reading about it. 
The only thing I'll say right now is, Matthew's surgery went well, his pressure is, once again, down, and now we just wait again.  Do I think it will work this time?  Not really.  It hasn't in the past.  The doctor said she didn't blame me for being pessimistic about it, she said given his history, it's natural for me to be pessimistic.  I hate feeling that way.  I wish I could just say, "oh yeah, this will be it..it will be great".  I've said that in the past, only to be let down, time and again.  Once bitten, twice shy, and all that.
Fall has come to Ohio.  It is so beautiful.  I find myself wondering if the native Ohioans (is that what they're called?) realize how lucky they are.  There are many places in this country that do not look like this in the fall.  I've lived in plenty of those places.  Anyway, I just love it.  Of course, the leaves are falling faster than we can keep them raked up, and that's not too fun, but it can't all be roses, now can it?
Tomorrow, Dillon turns 13!!  How can this be?? Two teenagers in the house!  Weren't they just born?  They are growing way too fast for me.  I wish time could just slow down a wee bit.  I know I'll blink and they'll be gone, and yet, I am so thankful to have all this time with them.  I know too many people who have lost their children, so I'm not taking a minute for granted.
Well lookie there, I guess I did have something to say. 

What a week!

For the last two weeks, Matt has been TDY.  Last week he was in Rhode Island, this week he was in San Antonio.  I so wish we could have made the San Antonio trip with him, but alas, we were all home while he was enjoying our old family and friends!  Maybe next time!

Last week was pretty uneventful, in fact, I can't really remember what we did.

Oh yes, we started school!  It went really well, for a first week.  Still working out some issues, but this happens every year.  I think we're off to a great start!

This week though, it was another story!

We had appointments all week long.  Good to get them all out of the way at once though, I always say!

Matthew is having surgery on Tuesday, so Monday he had his pre-op appointment.  All went well and he was cleared for surgery.

Tuesday, he went to the dentist and had no cavities.  I was trying to remember, and I don't think he has ever had any cavities.  Not bad for a 15 year old!

Wednesday was the exciting day!

It started early with a radio interview!  Myself and two other moms were asked to be the guests on a radio show.  Our half hour show was about mended little hearts and CHD in general.  We were all nervous, but it was so great to get our stories out there.  We only have 70 some families in our group, and with CHD affecting 1 in 100 children, we know that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Dillon is so funny, because he is convinced this will make me famous!  HAHA!! 

I know it airs in October sometime, but I don't think I can listen to it.  I'd pick apart everything I said!

From there we had to rush to the cardiologist for Zachy and Natalie's check ups.  I didn't really think Natalie would cooperate, since she hasn't ever since her RSV.  She managed to make it through the EKG, but that was it.  The doctor tried to echo her, but she wouldn't have it.  She has a questionable pulmonary vein that we need to keep an eye on, but the doc feels comfortable just retrying in six months.  At that point, if she doesn't cooperate, we'll have to do a sedated echo.  The good news, regarding her, is her rhythm looks great!  By now Zachy's was a mess, so things are looking promising as far as her not needing a pacemaker.

Zachy did great, and for the first time since being paced four years ago, has graduated to appointments once a year!  Go Zachy!!

Thursday, Natalie was supposed to follow up with pulmonology, but she and Emily woke up with high fevers.  Emily was vomiting as well.  Poor girls, they were miserable.  No pulmonology for Natalie! 

Friday was spent relaxing and trying to get well!

Matt gets home late tonight, and I am so looking forward to having him here!  I hate when he is away.  We miss him so much.  Emily woke up this morning and the first thing she said was, "today is the day we get Daddy!  YAY!!"

This coming week will be much calmer, I hope!

Did You Notice?

Did you happen to notice the little ticker over there on the right side of the screen?
The one that says, "we're pregnant again"?
Yep, it's true!  We are beyond thrilled and so looking forward to this new addition to our family.
I'm due March 11.  March is a great month to be born, wouldn't you agree?

My Weakness

I've been debating writing this post.  Fear is what has stopped me.  Fear that somehow, if I put this out there, people will think I'm an inferior homeschooler.  However, I promised when I changed the name of this blog, that I would be honest, with hopes that someone could relate and say, "finally, someone struggling with the same thing as me." 
And so, here we go.
My weakness in homeschooling is.....lesson planning.
I hate it.  More than that, I despise it. 
Why?  It makes my life easier.  I do it, even though I hate it, so I know it makes life easier, but still..I hate it.
I hate it because I'm not good at it.
I really, really struggle with it.  Once I get going, it is really ok, and I do it every year, it is just so hard for me to start.
In reality, it should be easy.  You have 100 pages to do in 10 days, you do 10 pages a day.  Simple, right?
You'd think so, but for some reason, when it comes to lesson planning, I freeze.
It is SO hard for me to get past the frozen part.
I have read all kinds of articles on how to lesson plan and taken classes at conferences, and still, I struggle.
I'm not really sure what I'm afraid of.  Is it that if it's written down, and we don't do things on the days I plan for, I feel like a failure?  I feel like we are suddenly behind!  Behind who??  Behind what??  We homeschool for flexibility, so why am I concerned about getting "behind"?
I have planning to do.  I will start tonight.  Maybe.  Ugh!  See!!!  I'm frozen!
So that's my weakness, well one of them, what is yours?

Homeschooling!

I know I promised this last week, but the next day our laptop got sick, and we lost so much stuff.  For awhile, there was nothing but a black screen.  Blah.  No fun.  Anyway, things are at least working now, even if all our pictures and files are gone.  :-(  Hopefully, when I hit "publish" this post will work and it won't direct you to a funky site. 


OK, so, without further ado, here we go.

I cannot tell you the amount of times I am asked questions about homeschooling.  I guess people think that since we've been doing it so long, we must be experts. 
The truth is, every single year, we learn more.  Every year, I change things up.  I feel like a newbie, every single year!  AND...I think most homeschoolers would say the same.  We all have the same insecurities, even if we don't admit it.

Let me start at the beginning though. 
Homeschooling is a very personal choice, and not a choice that is right for everyone.
We went into this with much prayer and soul searching. We believe that home is where God wants our children right now.  There are so many reasons for this, but I won't get into them, because it's different for everyone.  If you feel the Lord calling you to homeschool, follow the calling!  If not, then maybe homeschooling isn't the best choice for your family.  If at any point, we feel God is telling us to send them to school, we will.

 We started homeschooling our eldest when he was in preschool.  I was so excited and ambitious.  He is now 15, a sophomore, and still homeschooling.  We have always said we will homeschool for as long as it works for us, committing only to one year at a time.  We homeschool the rest of them as well.  This year we have a sophomore, a seventh grader, a fourth grader, and a second grader.  We also have a 4 year old who will be doing preschool work, and a 1 year old who will be hanging out alongside us.

So what curriculum do we use?  This is such a difficult question to answer.  The answer is different for everyone.  Not just every family, but every child as well.  We have had years where we use a boxed curriculum.   Those years we have used Alpha Omega Lifepacs, or ACE Paces.  We also did a partial year of Sonlight.  I say partial, because this curriculum was most definitely not for us, although some people absolutely love it.  The boxed curriculum was mostly in our early years.  For the last several years, we have been eclectic homeschoolers, taking curriculum from all over.  The one thing that stays consistent is our math.  We use Math U See, and love it. 
This year, with the younger kids, we will be using unit studies.  This is our first year doing unit studies, but I'm pretty excited about it.  They are much more hands on learners than the older two are, so I'm thinking this will be a great fit.  The eldest has his high school courses to take, and the second one will work on some unit studies, but mostly middle school courses. 
Like I said, every year we find something we like, and something we don't like.  It truly is a trial and error thing. 
How do we do it?  This also changes every year as our family grows.  When we have a small baby in the house, we do our schooling when the baby sleeps.  I don't have a strict time schedule, that isn't practical for us.  We also have many doctors appointments.  On those days, we make sure to get math and language arts done.  This is the glory of homeschooling, you start to realize that everything is a learning opportunity, and what is in books is just a small portion of life.  My kids are learning all the time, even if their nose isn't in a textbook.  Therefore, when we can't be around the table, learning math facts, we know that it's ok!  There will always be time for math facts!
A typical day (HAHAHA, that's really funny, there really isn't anything typical in our house, but if there was, this is what it would be!) looks like this:  I have to start my day with prayer, if not, the day falls apart.  Normally, I try to have prayer time with the kids too, but I must admit that sometimes falls to the wayside.  We eat breakfast and do our morning chores.  Again, I don't have set times for anything.  Some days we get started early, and are done with our school early.  Some days we get started late and aren't done till dinnertime.  We just go with the flow!  I then meet with the two eldest and go over what they are doing for the day.  They are independent by this point and can do their own thing.  Naturally, I'm here to help should any problems arise.  During that meeting time the four youngest are playing, after all, play is a child's work!  I then get started with the younger kids.  We sit at a table and start with whatever we want that day, usually we start with math, but not always.  The four year old always wants her own worksheets, and the one year old plays, or colors.  We work on school for awhile(I told you, no schedule!), usually until they start getting antsy.  Since I have mostly boys, this happens often!  At that point, if the weather permits, it's outside to work off some energy!  When they come back in, it's more school, then lunch...unless we started late, then it's lunchtime after playtime.  After lunch, it's back to work.  With the little ones, we can then work until we are done.  The older ones have more work so may need another break.  Although, in my house, they aren't required to sit in one spot until their work is done.  There is lots of movement, so they may not need another break. 
That's it...in a very large nutshell.  Life happens, and like I said, that is what a perfect typical day looks like!
I want to clear up some common misconceptions about homeschooling.  I often hear, "I couldn't homeschool because I'm not organized enough." or "I don't have the patience to homeschool".  I am not organized.  I struggle to be organized, but I just wasn't born that way.  I really try, but usually fail miserably.  It's ok though.  Even with not being the most organized person, my kids are excelling.  Why?  I think because I love them and want them to succeed, so even though it may not be as organized as Miss Olga Organized, it still gets done.  I also am not the most patient person.  I have some children who can be very trying.  I cannot tell you how many days I retreat to my bedroom, on my knees, to regroup.  I tell God that I know we are doing this because it is His will, but that He has to finish the day for me!  I then go back, and we get on with things.  I also remember being yelled at in school, one teacher would through chalkboard erasers at us, we got hacks from the principal!  I know that even if I yell at my kids, they know, without a doubt, that I still love them, and nothing they can do will cause me not to like them. 
It really IS ok to be less than perfect and homeschool!
Oh, before I close, if you are considering homeschooling, the first thing you need to do is look into your local laws.  Every state has different laws and requirements.  The easiest way to do this is by googling it!  Good luck in whatever choice you make, and please, if I left out anything, or if anything isn't clear, leave me a comment.  Like I said, I don't claim to be an expert, but I'll do what I can! 
God Bless!
 

I'm back!

We got home from our seven week sabbatical yesterday morning.
I learned a lot on this trip.  Mainly that seven weeks is entirely too long to be gone from home!
I have so much to write about.  I'm just so tired and trying to recover.
The first thing that I must do is write a homeschooling entry.  I've promised a couple people I would.
I am going to commit to writing it tomorrow!  Pinky swear!
For now, I need to get the kids ready for bed, but I wanted to let you know I'm back, and hope to be posting more regularly!  How was that for a run on sentence??
I hope you are all doing well and had a wonderful summer!  Fall is in the air here and I am thrilled!  I love fall and missed it sooo much when we were in Texas.

Checking in

We are on vacation! A 7 week vacation! I don't know whose bright idea this was, but it isn't as great as it sounds!
We are out west, visiting family. That part is great.
The traveling and the length of time, not so much.
It's tough living out of suitcases.
We camped on our way out here and hit Yellowstone, Mt Rushmore, and Crazy Horse. All great places to stop, but we also hit the heat wave crossing the country, so it was pretty miserable camping.
But alas, we made it.
Once we got to my mom's, all my kids were able to meet my grandma. She had been living with my mom in her final days. On Sunday, she passed away. She wasn't in any pain the whole time, which is wonderful.
After being at my mom's for a bit, we headed to my in laws. Where we spent a week.
After that, Matt flew out and went home to go back to work.
The kids and I are back at my mom's now, and will stay here a while before heading to my best friend's house.
Then it's back to the in laws, where my dad will come visit.
Shortly after that, Matt will come back. We will do some more visiting then camp our way back home.
Then it's time to start school!
Whew, what a whirlwind.
With everything that's going on, I just haven't been able to bothered even turning on the computer.
So, that's that. Where I am, and where I'm going.
I'll be back into the full swing of things after Labor Day.
Until then, who knows if I'll be updating.
Enjoy the rest of your summer!

For the Bible Tells Me So

Recently, on a message board I belong to, there was an uproar, involving me.  Actually, more about me.  It seems people on this board are upset about the fact that we are open to more children. 
They said terrible things to me, about me.  They called me selfish, and irresponsible.  They claimed God would never want us to have more kids.  It was ugly.  It is funny that they know exactly what God wants, because as far as I know, the ones who were so ugly, are all atheist.  I wouldn't expect them to have an inkling of understanding about the way we believe.
However, in light of this, I feel the need to explain, again, what we believe, and why.
Let me preface this by saying, I certainly don't have all the answers.  I also know that many do not believe the way we do, and that is fine.  I won't judge you for your decisions, please don't judge us for ours.

We believe that having children is a blessing.
 Psalm 127:3 says: Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.
Why would we deny ourselves God's blessings?  After many years of talking and praying about this specific topic, Matt and I have decided against birth control.  We don't feel like it is our place to decide how many children God wants us to have.  Is this because we just love having a newborn in the house?  No.  Of course we love that, and we love each and everyone of our children, but it is more obedience than anything.  We believe God decides when life is given and taken away.  I know God has given us brains, and I think Him for that, without that two of my children wouldn't be alive today.  I'm sure this seems like a contradiction.  And maybe it is.  All I can tell you, is that after years of prayer and talk, this is the decision that brings us peace.  Which means it is the right decisions for us.

 We believe every person is here for a reason.  God knows us before we are even in our mother's womb.  How can any person, then be formed just because of selfish parents?
Jeremiah 1:5 says “ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you;.."

God knew my children would be exactly who they are.  He knew some would have broken hearts, as much as he knew some would be boys and some would be girls.  Nothing that happens, takes God by surprise.

We believe God has a plan for each one of us.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
These plans may not fit into our little ideals.  I certainly didn't plan to deal with the things we have dealt with, but God did.  And the plans will prosper us.  We will learn from things we go through and grow our faith.  Everything is in God's hands!  Not ours.  Of course, all of this changes when you aren't a believer, then you leave yourself wide open for Satan to take over, but that's a whole other topic. 
These plans may include something terrible.  They may mean a child doesn't survive.  I can't think of anything more terrible, but I know that God has a plan for everything and everyone. 
Romans 8:28 says :²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[i] have been called according to his purpose.
It doesn't say some things, it says ALL things.  We may not understand them.  We may not understand why our husband was suddenly killed in a car accident, or why our house burned to the ground killing all our children, but we can rest in the assurance that all things work for good of those who love him.  People always leave off the last part and just say, "all things work together for good" but the Bible is clear that for that to be true, you mus love him and be doing his will.
People also always ask how a good God could allow such suffering in the world.  Romans is a great book to read to learn that while God is faithful and just and loving and kind, there is also the wrath of God.

I feel none of this is making sense....

God loves us.  Every single one of us, and he wants the very best for us.  But there is a spiritual war going on.  Satan and God are at war for our souls.  The bottom line is you are for Him, or you are against Him.  There is no middle ground.
This is getting way off topic.
I'm just trying to show that we absolutely believe that God has a purpose for everyone.  He plans our children, before they are conceived. 
I know that people disagree, and that is OK, it is just the life we feel God is leading us to.  It isn't for everyone.  He has different plans for everyone.  Some may be called to adoption.  Some may be called to have no children, ever.  His plans for us are unique. 
I don't know why God has given us such challenges.  I have faith that on the day I see Jesus face to face, it will all become crystal clear.  That is good enough for me!
I don't think any of this makes us selfish.  I'm not sure how having kids is selfish anyway, it is hard work having kids!  It means sacrificing monetary goods.  It means sacrificing sleep.  It means sacrificing self!  How in the world, is that selfish??
It was also implied that God wouldn't want me to have kids that live the lives my kids live.  Lives involving doctor visits, and tests, and meds.
Again, I don't know why this is the life God has chosen for my kids.  I do know that it is exactly the life they are supposed to have, for whatever reason.  Their lives aren't any less worth living than the "normal" child's.  If you know my family, you can attest to the fact that my kids are happy and so well adjusted.  These people would like to believe that they have a miserable existence, but nothing could be further from the truth!  My children will one day be made whole and live for eternity!  How can there be anything bad about that???

Once again, I'm not judging anyone who thinks differently, not at all, I'm just asking for the same respect in return.  I know our life isn't for everyone, but it is for us.  Please, accept that, and keep your opinions to yourself. :-)

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

My How Time Flies

It seems like I just updated my blog.  I was shocked when I looked and saw how long ago it really had been.
We have been crazy busy, just living life.
The weather here is beautiful, and the city is growing on me more and more each day.  I absolutely love how green it is here, and the grass is so soft.  The kids love to go out barefoot, because they can.  The fireflies here are amazing too.  We have woods behind our house and when we go out in the evening and look to the woods, it reminds me of a Disney scene.  Actually, if you've been to DisneyLAND you will know what I mean when I say it reminds me of the bayou scene of Pirates of the Caribbean.  It's pretty quiet and you just see little flashes all over the place.  So neat.
We also discovered these little tiny frogs.  I have never seen anything like it.  They are about the size of our fingertip.
Matt has been trying his hand at gardening.  Because we knew there would be deer in the woods, we didn't want to tear up any of the yard this year, so he planted things in all the flowerbeds, just to see how it goes.  He also planted the vine plants back in the the woods.  The other day, he went out to water those plants and a baby deer went bouncing away.  He was there later too.  He was making his bed in our grass clippings.  Matt must have scared him off though, because we haven't seen him since.  Surprisingly, the deer have only eaten a couple leaves off the grape plants.  The birds are proving to be more of a problem.  As soon as we see any kind of berry, they come by and eat it!  
Moving on!
Last week, we went to a swimming party for the cast of Annie Get Your Gun.  It was fun and so great to see the kids with new friends.  They were sad to see it end.  Someone from the cast is having another party in August, but we won't be here for it.  Boo.  The best thing about these kids is that they keep friending me on facebook.  I love that my kids' friends friend me!  Not that we talk but it's nice to know what kind of kids mine are hanging out with.
Also, last week, we had our end of the year assessments for home schooling.  Here, we either have to do standardized testing, or have a certified teacher look over all our work and determine if the kids are making enough progress.  We went with the teacher and the kids all did great.  It was nice to know that we are doing a good job.  There's always a tiny doubt, when you are schooling where there are no regulations.  So, it was a relief to know that after all these years, I haven't screwed up my kids! In fact, just the opposite!  YAY!!
Finally, this last weekend we had a Mended Little Hearts picnic.  It was so fun, and I absolutely love this group.  I somehow ended up being in charge of the Christmas party, but that's ok.
OHHHH, finally finally....we leave this weekend for a long trip.  We are camping across the country, making the same trip we have made a couple other times, once when Matt and I were first married, and once when we just had 3 boys.  I'm so looking forward to taking all the kids to all the places we have pictures of...Mt Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Yellowstone, etc.  It should be loads of fun!
I hope you are having a great summer!                                                                   

Nannie and Matthew update

I was sitting down to write this post about Nannie, and realized I haven't updated on Matthew.  Let me do that first.
Matthew saw the doctor last week.  His pressure is creeping back up.  It is 24 right now, up from 12.  That is to be expected.  They dropped him down to one drop, but I don't quite understand why.  She expects his pressure to keep creeping up, so if you expect it to keep going up, why stop a med??  Beats me, but I'm not the doctor.  Anyway, he goes back in three months.  Once it hits the 30s again, she wants to redo the surgery. 
I know this sounds so bad, but it is so frustrating, I just wish they would leave him alone.  We are just buying time till he loses his eye.  I guess any time we can buy is worth it.  It's just hard watching your kids go through this garbage! 
OK so Nannie.  Ever since she had RSV/pneumonia/bronchiolitis in March she has had a chronic cough and runny nose.   They tried antibiotics on her, with no luck.  She's been to the ER where they said she had asthma and needed to see pulmonary.  I know ER docs are worthless and can't be trusted to diagnose anything, so we were just waiting to see pulmonary.
That appointment was today.
The doctor said on her x-ray in May, her lungs were very over inflated.  What the heck does that mean?  I have no idea, probably should have asked!  Anyway, he said that RSV destroys the airway.  I assume the cilia, but again, I didn't ask.  He said that since her RSV was so severe it could take up to two years for her to fully recover from it!  Holy cow, that's a long time!  He commented on how atypical her RSV was, since it hit her so hard and she was already so old.  He obviously doesn't know that my family is pretty atypical! HA!!  He then went on to say he had never heard of siblings with TAPVR and went on and on about how unusual that is.  Really?  Never heard that before!  Hehe! 
So, all of that to say, we are starting her on inhaled meds (pulmocort) two times a day and singulair once a day.  We go back after we get home from vacation in September to see how things are.  At this point, there isn't a stop time for anything.  I guess we play it by ear.
So that's that.  Nothing too exciting, just too long for a status update!!

Pulse Oximetry: Why it should be mandatory

August 5, 2003, my beautiful baby boy was born after an uneventful pregnancy and delivery.  When he was born, however, he didn't cry.  I asked over and over, "what is wrong with my baby?"  The answer repeatedly was, "nothing, he is perfect"  and "we just need to get him started".  They slapped his feet, they jiggled him around, they sat him up, laid him down, finally, he let out a weak cry.  Then it was heartier.  Hooray, he WAS perfect.  They bundled him up and gave him to me. 
The nurses and midwife then left the room in order for us to bond with him.
Our family came in. 
When my mom saw him, the first words out of her mouth were, "he's black!  Look at how dark he is"  I looked at her with a weird look on my face.  She went on, "look at his hands, they are so dark"  I told her it was fine, all babies were born with blue hands and feet.  I was seeing him through mother's eyes.  I saw nothing but perfection.
While we were introducing the brothers to Zachary, unbeknownst to us, my step-dad was in the hallway demanding the nurses take him and run tests.  They refused.  They said he was fine.  My step-dad persisted and finally the nurses took him to give him a bath. 
Time went by, and they didn't bring him back to us. 
After what felt like an eternity, the doctor came in to inform us that they had noticed he was blue while bathing him, did a pulse ox test, and found his SATS to be low.  He was placed under an oxygen hood.
No one knew what was wrong with him.  We were told things like, "he was 3 weeks early, his lungs are immature" "he's a big boy, and big boys tend to have wetter lungs" "his lungs are wet, they'll dry out".  They ran test after test.  All were negative.  They started him on antibiotics in case a pneumonia was missed. 
Finally, an echocardiogram was performed, and our world turned upside down.
The important thing is, because of the pulse ox, they knew something was wrong, and he was put on oxygen right away.
Zachary was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect called Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return and an Atrial Septal Defect.  A complex, life threatening heart defect.  The morning after he was diagnosed, he had open heart surgery.
Then thing was, there was nothing to indicate he had a CHD.  No heart murmur, nothing.  Just a low pulse ox.  While we waited for the cardiologist to read the echo, we asked the pediatrician if she thought it was his heart.  She said no, not at all because he didn't act like a baby with a CHD.
Fast forward six years.  I was pregnant with my sixth child.  I had several fetal echoes and was told that her pulmonary veins could be seen and looked great.  I was told over and over that her heart looked great and there was nothing to indicate anything would be wrong.
When she was born she looked so great.  She was breathing so well.  I remember telling her, "you're such a good baby, not even grunting, you'll avoid a NICU stay!"  Later in my room, Matt was holding her, I told him to cover her up, she looked cold.  I look back and realize how silly that was.
Again, they took her for a bath, and didn't bring her back.  After about an hour, Matt went to the nursery to find out what was going on.  The nurse said she thought that Natalie looked dusky so did a pulse ox test.  She had called in the pediatrician because her SATS were low.  When the pediatrician got there, we told him about Zachary.  He did a blood gas test, which came out bad.  An echo was then ordered and it was discovered she had the same defect as her brother.
The interesting thing is how well she did.  The reason babies stay in the hospital for so long after heart surgery is often because of feeding issues.  Because of this they wanted to hold out as long as they could to give Natalie the chance to really learn how to eat in hopes that she wouldn't forget when she was able to eat again.  She was hooked up to monitors and Matt and I commented on the fact that watching the monitors was like watching someone die.
She looked sooo good.  And yet we watched and one day her respiration rate went up.  The next her O2 SATS went down more.  And still she looked good.  She didn't look like a thing was wrong with her.  Finally at six days old, because the monitors said so, the doctors said she needed her surgery that day.  Still, nothing looked wrong.
TAPVR is so often missed at birth.  The babies look fine.  Unfortunately, many TAPVR babies pass away without being diagnosed.
I will never forget the nurse who decided to test Natalie.  In my opinion, she is a huge reason my daughter is here today.
So, what is pulse oximetry testing and what's the big deal?
We've all seen a pulse ox test.  It is the little red light they put on your finger when checking your vitals.  They are measuring the amount of oxygen in your blood.
To do this test in a newborn, costs less than the cost of a bandaid.  Hospitals crank the prices up and insurance doesn't have to pay for it.
 New Jersey has now made pulse ox testing mandatory on newborns 24 hours old.  This means insurance will have to cover this non invasive test.  It doesn't mean that a parent can't deny it, though I'm not sure why they would.
In recent studies they have learned that about a third of one percent of babies tested at 24 hours old had false positive results. 
A pulse ox test won't catch every CHD, but it will catch many. 
I have been reading study after study to put in here, but I'll let you google it.  Just google Pulse Ox screening newborn and you will find that 1 in 15,000 babies will be born with a critical CHD and half of those will die before a diagnosis is made.
People think that a CHD can be caught by listening to the heart.  This is so wrong.  My kids didn't present with a heart murmur.  Many don't. 
We screen our babies for things like hearing loss and PKU without giving it a second thought.  It's just routine.  The false positives from those tests are so much higher.  Hearing tests cost much more than a pulse ox and while hearing loss is devastating, it isn't life threatening.
It is so important that we make this test mandatory.  Insurance companies need to pay for this, and hospitals need to not jack up the price. 
Babies die from detected CHDs, but how tragic that any baby should die from an undetected CHD, especially when a simple test could pick up a problem.  No parent should have to experience this. 
So, what can you do?
Write a letter to your state representative.  Tell them how important this is. 
Sign the petition that I've linked to on the side bar.
And most importantly, if you are pregnant, or ever get pregnant, please demand a pulse ox test on your baby at 24 hours of age. 
Yes, this is long.  But it's personal to me.  Not a single day goes by that I don't thank God that my babies are still here.  I know how easily it could be different.  TAPVR is one of the top 5 defects that isn't detected at birth.  I am just so, so thankful that people had the sense to perform a pulse ox on them.

Matthew's Surgery

I totally forgot to blog about Matthew's recent surgery.  My dad has been galavantin around the world, and his recent comment on my status update reminded me that I should have updated him, and you.
In case you are new to my blog, Matthew is my eldest.  He is 14.  He was born with a congenital cataract which was removed at one month of age.  Along with the cataract, his lens was removed.  Keep in mind this was 14 years ago.  His eye has some other issues and for reasons beyond our control, he went nearly blind in his right eye.  By nearly blind I mean he can see shadows.  I'm sure that, had he been born now, things would have turned out differently.  We try not to think about that.  We did the best we could.  We saw an expert in the field and did all we could, 14 years ago. 
Have I mentioned it was 14 years ago??
Anyway, due to the absence of a lens, he developed glaucoma in that eye. 
Because he has almost zero vision in that eye, anything we do is just to keep him comfortable.
He has been fighting this for years now, and nothing we do seems to work.
The last time he saw the doctor, his pressure was an all time high, 48.  Normal pressure is in the teens.
It was decided that we would try a laser surgery. 
He has had this same exact surgery before.  It brought his pressure down to the upper teens.  A month later it was back to the 30s.
He uses 3 medications to try to keep the pressure down, but it obviously doesn't do too much.
The first time he had this surgery was pie.
This time was a different story.
The doctor told me Matthew would be out for the surgery, which we took to mean general anesthesia.  Matthew was fine with that.  This was surgery number 12 or 13 (I need to write them down so I have that info!!) and he is used to them gassing him to sleep, then starting the IV.
When we got to the pre-op holding area, they talked about starting an IV.  Matthew was so nervous.  We said we preferred he get the gas first.  Then they explained that they would just be doing IV sedation this time around.  No big deal, just the fear of the IV.
He did great and said it wasn't that bad.  I was so glad they gave him lidocaine before doing it though.
They took him back, he remembers a bit, but not much. 
It wasn't long and he was done. 
By the time we got to the recovery room he was awake and loopy.  It was hilarious, and we all laughed at him.  How mean, huh?  But, in our defense, he was so funny, and he laughed with us!
OK, so the next day, no pain.  Surgery was on Tuesday and Friday we headed to Missouri to see my brother-in-law graduate grad school.  Graduations was Saturday, and there was a tree outside that called way too hard to my boys to climb it.
Up they went.  Matthew hung upside down, felt a "pop" and was in major pain.  He said the pressure was terrible.  We got home and he laid down and didn't want to move.  We tried a cool compress, but the feeling of anything touching it was excruciating.
So here we are, middle of nowhere, Missouri, with no clue what to do.  Oh, and that dad who was galavantin?? He's an ophthalmologist but was unreachable.  Just our luck!
We gave him Tylenol throughout the weekend, and he was able to function.  Oh, we also took it upon ourselves to increase his drops for pressure, because he said it was pressure pain.  His eye also got very, very bloodshot after this.  We knew it was supposed to get red, but it hadn't until that moment.
Monday finally came and we put a call into his doctor.  Of course, we had to leave a message.  The first call back said we needed to find an ophthalmologist and get him in asap.
Again, we were in the middle of nowhere! 
As we started searching the phone book and trying to figure out what to do, his doctor called back.
We talked about everything and she told me what drops to increase to every other hour.
That did the trick and brought the pain down.
The white of his eye turned yellow and you could see every blood vessel, bright red.
He had pain until we got home and finally saw the doctor.  A week after surgery. 
She looked and said everything looked great.  We have no idea what the "pop" could have been, or why the pain was suddenly so excruciating.
The big news is his pressure was down to 12.
This is great news, but I find it hard to get excited.  The doctor says we will be cautiously optimistic.  I just figure when we go back in a couple weeks, it will be creeping up again.  I would LOVE to be surprised.
He continues to have pain off and on, which I don't understand.  If it looks so good, why is it hurting him so much?
Also, something that is perplexing to me, that I didn't think about until after we left...Matthew has a thickened cornea, so they usually say the actual pressure is about 10 points lower.  Does this mean his pressure is 0-2??  And is that bad?  He keeps telling me his eye feels squishy.  That freaks me out. 
A danger of this surgery is doing too much of the laser and actually drying the eye up.  I'm praying that isn't the case here!
So, time will tell.  I think the pain is getting better every day.  He continues to amaze me.  My children are the strongest people I know.  Matthew never, ever complains about all he has been through.  I am so very, very proud of the man he is becoming.

Family Time

I feel the need to blog.  I hate when I slack. 
It's just...I don't know...I get feeling a little down. 
I am lonely.  I have made a couple friends here, but, hmm, I just don't know...I'm lonely.
Maybe I'm just hormonal.  Who knows. 
OK, onto a different topic, cause I could go on and on about how I feel so disconnected from the world lately, but that would be boring.
Course this might be boring too.  Oh well.
We went to Missouri last weekend.  Oh my, it was a loooong drive. 
We went to see my brother-in-law get his doctorate in Physical Therapy.  We are all so proud of him.  I know they are so glad that he is finally done with school so they can get on with living!  He has a job all lined up in Washington, so as I type they are busy cleaning and packing and getting ready to hit the road.
The rest of my in laws already live in Washington and they came down for graduation. 
It was so great to see everyone.  The last time we saw my mother-in-law and father-in-law was when Nannie was in the hospital having open heart surgery!  We've come a long way since then.
We hadn't seen my sister-in-law in three years. 
We had two nights that we played Minute to Win It games.  That was lots of fun. 
We're heading out to Washington this summer and I'm looking forward to a rematch!
The cousins all had a blast together, and I hope they all remember last weekend with fond memories.  They don't see each other often, so I hope the times they do see each other will stand out in their minds forever.  If not, we have lots of pictures.

Ohio has been rough on us

Or maybe it's the year 2011..I'm not sure.
We arrived here November 19.  I suppose things were good until January, so maybe I should be blaming the year instead of the state.
After Tuesday we will be able to say that since arriving here we've had two surgeries.
We've had an eleven day hospitalization.
And we've also had three emergency room visits.
We will be familiar with five separate hospitals.
Something is so wrong with this picture, people!
We have also been involved with three separate groups that are supposed to be fun, and have been so disorganized it isn't funny. 
It has been a crazy place (year?) for us. 
There have been some good things here, I suppose.
There was snow.  Lots of snow.
There has been rain.  Lots of rain.
Now it is green.  Lots of green. 
I have met a few people that I think will be great friends.
The mended little hearts group seems to be great, and active.
We have great new doctors (I was so worried about this before we moved).
We bought a house (and now pray the market turns around before we have to leave so it doesn't end up being the biggest mistake we have ever made!)
Yes, things have been bad, but they have also been good.
I so badly want to love it here.  Hasn't happened yet, but we are still new here....right?  Six months is nothing.  Although, it's half a year, and if it's the year that has been bad, then it is a very long time.
I hope my love for the state happens soon!