Thursday, November 29, 2007

Lonely ol blog

I feel the need to write, only I don't know what to write about.
While unpacking boxes, I came across all my old journal entries. All of them since 2001. And I started reading.
I have grown so much in these last 7 years, changed so much, and yet, I'm still little ol me. But, I actually had something to say back then. Now, I struggle to find anything to fill this blog with. Partly, I'm a bit worried about who will find me. But I'm not going to let that run my life.
I just really feel as if I have nothing to say. So, I bore you with rambly boring posts. Lucky you!
Last night, I went to a Mended Little Hearts meeting. Thanks Maria, for telling me about it. It really is so great. I want to be part of this group so much. The problem is, they meet on Wednesday nights. Just once a month. But still, I'm committed to Adventurers. I'm the director, after all. It's really perplexing me. How might I be able to make it work. They do great things like hospital visitation. That's something I'd love to get in on. When Zach was born, logically, we knew we weren't alone, but there was no one around. No one ever came to sit with us and say, "We've been here...we know how you will be alright" In fact, it wasn't until we moved here that we met other heart parents. So, yeah, it's something I'd really like to do. Because it's lonely. And scary.
I'm waiting on the scheduling lady to call me back to schedule Zach's pacemaker surgery. We're doing it in January. Too soon for me. But, I know he'll be ok. God will take care of him. He always does.
Emily continues to be congested. The people who lived here before didn't have animals, so now I'm totally stumped. Because we live closer to the army post now, we've asked to change their pediatrician to one on post. Maybe the change will bring some answers with it. We'll see. For now, she is super needy, and super fussy.
And, she's now awake, so my moment of peace is over.

1 comment:

Maria said...

hey girl!! glad you made it last night! it was SOOOOO GOOD to see you and little emily!!! she is ADORABLE by the way and looks like all your kiddos!! awww....

well, keep strong like i told you yesterday!! if you need to talk CALL ME and like we talked about we MUST get together sometime!!

check out my blog for pics of james!! he looking GOOD!! ;p

OK, take care and GOD BLESS..

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