So here you have it. Another picture entry!
Some shots from our trip to Disney World. The picture of Emmie on the ferry is of her with my dad.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Another Almost Wordless Wednesday
Are you sick of entries that are nothing but pictures? I have other entries brewing, but I figure these are a good way to get all my pictures that I've promised for a very long time!
So here you have it. Another picture entry!
Some shots from our trip to Disney World. The picture of Emmie on the ferry is of her with my dad.
So here you have it. Another picture entry!
Some shots from our trip to Disney World. The picture of Emmie on the ferry is of her with my dad.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Did I happen to mention...
Emily has a broken elbow. Did you know this? Did I ever tell my dear readers this? Well, it's true. A month ago, she fell while playing with the kids at play practice. She immediately complained about her elbow. We thought she would go to sleep and wake up having forgotten about it. Instead, the next morning, she sat up, and screamed, "MY ELBOW!!" Off to the ER it was. All they could determine was that she had an effusion, and they suspected a radial head fracture. She was splinted for two weeks. After the two weeks, we headed back. They x-rayed her and said her elbow looked good, but that since she was still having pain, they decided to be conservative in their treatment. We were told two weeks in a cast, and then she would be good to go.
The two weeks was up today. We went. They took off her cast. They did x-rays. The next thing I knew, the doctor was telling us that now a fracture was definitely showing up. She is back in a cast for two more weeks.
This seems to be exactly what I've read about, regarding radial head fractures. For some reason, x-rays don't reveal them for several weeks.
I am so glad they decided to treat it as broken a month ago!
We are headed to Chuck E Cheese tonight. We had told her we could go swimming today. Poor thing.
We told her we were going swimming because last weekend my dad was in town. He started the older boys on scuba certification. So they spent the weekend in his hotel pool. The girls and I spent it at home. She so wanted to swim.
When it finally comes off..we will have to go swimming.
Did I also neglect to mention that Dillon broke his finger? It's so hard to recall what I wrote here and what I wrote on Facebook.
About a week before Emily broke her elbow, Collin fell off the couch. His knee landed on Dillon's finger. Breaking the tip of it.
Good grief, who knew a broken finger could be such an ordeal! First, the ER just gave us a splint. Said it was just cracked a bit. After two weeks, we went to the orthopaedist who said it was broken, at the growth plate. The ER didn't reset it or anything, so his finger has a permanent bend to it. Nothing major.
However, when I took Emily in today, he had a check up also. The doctor squeezed it, as usual, and he said it hurt. This far out, it shouldn't hurt. It is also pretty swollen. So, they ordered blood work to check for infection. The doc just called me and said it was all negative, so it's a skin infection. And now he has to take antibiotics for ten days.
All for a broken finger!!! Goodness gracious!
I hope we are nearing the end of this train. It feels like we've been living at the orthopaedics clinic. I'm ready to get on with summer!
The two weeks was up today. We went. They took off her cast. They did x-rays. The next thing I knew, the doctor was telling us that now a fracture was definitely showing up. She is back in a cast for two more weeks.
This seems to be exactly what I've read about, regarding radial head fractures. For some reason, x-rays don't reveal them for several weeks.
I am so glad they decided to treat it as broken a month ago!
We are headed to Chuck E Cheese tonight. We had told her we could go swimming today. Poor thing.
We told her we were going swimming because last weekend my dad was in town. He started the older boys on scuba certification. So they spent the weekend in his hotel pool. The girls and I spent it at home. She so wanted to swim.
When it finally comes off..we will have to go swimming.
Did I also neglect to mention that Dillon broke his finger? It's so hard to recall what I wrote here and what I wrote on Facebook.
About a week before Emily broke her elbow, Collin fell off the couch. His knee landed on Dillon's finger. Breaking the tip of it.
Good grief, who knew a broken finger could be such an ordeal! First, the ER just gave us a splint. Said it was just cracked a bit. After two weeks, we went to the orthopaedist who said it was broken, at the growth plate. The ER didn't reset it or anything, so his finger has a permanent bend to it. Nothing major.
However, when I took Emily in today, he had a check up also. The doctor squeezed it, as usual, and he said it hurt. This far out, it shouldn't hurt. It is also pretty swollen. So, they ordered blood work to check for infection. The doc just called me and said it was all negative, so it's a skin infection. And now he has to take antibiotics for ten days.
All for a broken finger!!! Goodness gracious!
I hope we are nearing the end of this train. It feels like we've been living at the orthopaedics clinic. I'm ready to get on with summer!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
The End!
Oliver! ended yesterday.
I don't know if I ever talked about it here, so here's the skinny.
Tryouts for Oliver! were in March.
Dillon (11) got the role of Oliver!
Matthew (13) was a townsperson, pauper, and bow street runner.
Collin (8) and Zachy (6) were orphans and part of Fagin's gang.
And lastly, Matt (dh!) was Bill Sykes.
If you aren't familiar with the story, Bill Sykes is the villain of the show.
I am so incredibly proud of Dillon. He did awesome. He had several solos, including a song where he was on stage all alone. Not once did he seem nervous. Some of the time, I could see the adults shaking when they were singing, but not Dillon. I'm one proud mama!!
Matt was great too. He makes a really good bad guy. Which is so funny, because he is far from a bad guy. In one scene, he was supposed to hit his girlfriend. He just couldn't bring himself to hit her, so they let him grab her and push her to the ground. The first time he did it, he pushed her down, then stopped the scene and said, "are you ok???" She was such a trooper and did so great.
The other kids did great also. Matthew had a GREAT time being included as one of the adults. He really is teetering between wanting to be an adult and wanting to be a kid. He was so happy.
All things must come to an end though, and it's now time to move on to VBS.
Yesterday, was very sad for me. This is the last production we will do with these players. We will move before the next production. We have made such great friends, and I will miss them all so much.
I keep telling myself that the adventure that awaits in Ohio, will be just as great as the Texas adventure has been. And it will be. I'll just miss everyone here.
When it's all said and done though...Mine's a fine FINE LIFE!!!
~~I'm sorry to say, I don't have many photos from the show. I already posted what I have in the Worldess Wednesday post. Flash photography isn't allowed, and I was always holding a baby anyway. If I come across any, I'll try to post them.
I don't know if I ever talked about it here, so here's the skinny.
Tryouts for Oliver! were in March.
Dillon (11) got the role of Oliver!
Matthew (13) was a townsperson, pauper, and bow street runner.
Collin (8) and Zachy (6) were orphans and part of Fagin's gang.
And lastly, Matt (dh!) was Bill Sykes.
If you aren't familiar with the story, Bill Sykes is the villain of the show.
I am so incredibly proud of Dillon. He did awesome. He had several solos, including a song where he was on stage all alone. Not once did he seem nervous. Some of the time, I could see the adults shaking when they were singing, but not Dillon. I'm one proud mama!!
Matt was great too. He makes a really good bad guy. Which is so funny, because he is far from a bad guy. In one scene, he was supposed to hit his girlfriend. He just couldn't bring himself to hit her, so they let him grab her and push her to the ground. The first time he did it, he pushed her down, then stopped the scene and said, "are you ok???" She was such a trooper and did so great.
The other kids did great also. Matthew had a GREAT time being included as one of the adults. He really is teetering between wanting to be an adult and wanting to be a kid. He was so happy.
All things must come to an end though, and it's now time to move on to VBS.
Yesterday, was very sad for me. This is the last production we will do with these players. We will move before the next production. We have made such great friends, and I will miss them all so much.
I keep telling myself that the adventure that awaits in Ohio, will be just as great as the Texas adventure has been. And it will be. I'll just miss everyone here.
When it's all said and done though...Mine's a fine FINE LIFE!!!
~~I'm sorry to say, I don't have many photos from the show. I already posted what I have in the Worldess Wednesday post. Flash photography isn't allowed, and I was always holding a baby anyway. If I come across any, I'll try to post them.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Just Showing Off
Matt and Dillon have been doing stained glass pieces. It has been so great for them to have this hobby together.
Matt is currently working on a 4 foot by 6 foot piece for the church, with another lady.
He is also doing custom orders for people. It's pretty cool.
Here are a couple things they just finished up.
Dillon made this eye for our pastor's wife. She is starting her ophthalmology residency this year.
Matt made this for the same person. I wish the picture were better, because it is an amazing piece.
Matt is currently working on a 4 foot by 6 foot piece for the church, with another lady.
He is also doing custom orders for people. It's pretty cool.
Here are a couple things they just finished up.
Dillon made this eye for our pastor's wife. She is starting her ophthalmology residency this year.
Matt made this for the same person. I wish the picture were better, because it is an amazing piece.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Thoughtful Thursday
Painted by Nathan Greene, this is arguably one of my favorite pictures.
I know this scene has played out several times in my own life. Well, not mine, but the lives of my children.
So many people prayed so hard for them, and I know that God heard those prayers, and He was there, guiding the surgeons hands every step of the way.
I've been thinking lately, and I have to say, I think that CHD parents are amongst the strongest people around. Only, I don't feel strong. Not at all. I know that most of them are leaning heavily on Christ. It's only by the grace of God that we have gotten through what we have.
People tell me all the time that they don't know how we do what we do. The reality is, we have no choice. These children are our precious gifts from God, and He has a plan for them. What are we to do? Deny that gift? I think not.
I am so thankful to know a kind and loving God, who wants nothing but the best for our family. He is so wise! He knows the perfect kids for us. He knows exactly what we can handle (and what we can't). Isn't it wonderful to know that there is someone out there in charge? That we aren't just walking around by chance. That whatever happens, there is a plan. It might not be our plan, but we are at peace with the knowledge that there is a plan. And His plan is far better than ours could ever be.
And just as He guides us day to day, I know He guides the surgeons hands when they are operating on our tiny little babies.
Thank you, Jesus, for all you do for us. We are so unworthy of your care, and yet, you give it without a second thought. You, my Lord, are mighty and wonderful. I cannot wait for the day when we are all together, worshipping you all day long, in Your presence.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Time Flies
I keep meaning to get here and write. There's so much I want to write about. But somehow, I say I'll get to it later, and it never happens.
I think mainly because I want to post pictures. We got a new camera, and I totally rely on Matt to upload the photos for me..which means it doesn't get done.
Tonight, Oliver! opens. I am so excited for Dillon. This is his big moment. The other boys are doing great too, but it really is Dillon's thing. I'm so very very proud of him.
I will try to get back and update with those pictures later! Hopefully, time won't keep slipping away from me!
I think mainly because I want to post pictures. We got a new camera, and I totally rely on Matt to upload the photos for me..which means it doesn't get done.
Tonight, Oliver! opens. I am so excited for Dillon. This is his big moment. The other boys are doing great too, but it really is Dillon's thing. I'm so very very proud of him.
I will try to get back and update with those pictures later! Hopefully, time won't keep slipping away from me!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Having a Rough Time Tonight
My heart is heavy tonight.
On facebook, there have been so many posts about babies losing their battles with CHD. Or babies in the hospital dealing with surgeries and infections.
It is just killing me. The pain these families who have lost their little ones, I cannot imagine.
I feel so blessed to have my babies here with me, alive and well.
I just wish there was something I could do to make CHD go away, and the pain these families are going through.
Big heavy sigh.
On facebook, there have been so many posts about babies losing their battles with CHD. Or babies in the hospital dealing with surgeries and infections.
It is just killing me. The pain these families who have lost their little ones, I cannot imagine.
I feel so blessed to have my babies here with me, alive and well.
I just wish there was something I could do to make CHD go away, and the pain these families are going through.
Big heavy sigh.
Monday, May 17, 2010
When I look in the mirror
As I stood looking in the mirror, I paused a moment and pondered what I saw.
Surely, what you see is far different from what I see.*
When I look, I see gray hairs, slowly taking their rightful place on my head. To me, they say wisdom. They say the years are passing, and I am learning more each and every day.
You may see someone who doesn't care enough about herself to cover them up.
I see creases at my eyes. You see an aging woman. I see millions of smiles. And tears. My eyes hold all the emotion I have experienced over the years, especially since becoming a mom.
I keep scanning downward. You may see saggy breasts that need a lift. I see six perfectly plump babies that these breasts have nourished. I am proud of this accomplishment.
Oh, please, don't look any further. If you do, you may feel the desire to judge me. The large belly may say lazy, unhealthy, fat person.
I see something much different.
I see an emotional eater. I see someone who has had her share of stress, and sleepless nights, all in the name of motherhood. I try to control the bulge, but I fail. I got this way, though, from years of overeating due to emotions. Loving my children so fiercely and not being able to take away their pain through the years has taken it's toll.
Scanning up and down, I see beyond the obvious. I see a woman who would die in an instant for her family. I see a heart so full of love that it feels like it may burst. I know I am beyond blessed.
If only we could look at everyone and see the not so obvious. What a world this would be!
*I long to see these things every time I look in the mirror, sadly, I often see the obvious. I'm working on this.
Surely, what you see is far different from what I see.*
When I look, I see gray hairs, slowly taking their rightful place on my head. To me, they say wisdom. They say the years are passing, and I am learning more each and every day.
You may see someone who doesn't care enough about herself to cover them up.
I see creases at my eyes. You see an aging woman. I see millions of smiles. And tears. My eyes hold all the emotion I have experienced over the years, especially since becoming a mom.
I keep scanning downward. You may see saggy breasts that need a lift. I see six perfectly plump babies that these breasts have nourished. I am proud of this accomplishment.
Oh, please, don't look any further. If you do, you may feel the desire to judge me. The large belly may say lazy, unhealthy, fat person.
I see something much different.
I see an emotional eater. I see someone who has had her share of stress, and sleepless nights, all in the name of motherhood. I try to control the bulge, but I fail. I got this way, though, from years of overeating due to emotions. Loving my children so fiercely and not being able to take away their pain through the years has taken it's toll.
Scanning up and down, I see beyond the obvious. I see a woman who would die in an instant for her family. I see a heart so full of love that it feels like it may burst. I know I am beyond blessed.
If only we could look at everyone and see the not so obvious. What a world this would be!
*I long to see these things every time I look in the mirror, sadly, I often see the obvious. I'm working on this.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Where's my Peace?
I feel so uneasy these days.
I have no idea why.
I have so much to be thankful for and to praise Him for, I just don't have peace.
Where is it? How do I get it? I just want a calm feeling.
Instead, I feel like my insides are always jumbled up. I always worry about everything. I worry about not doing a good enough job as a mom and wife, mainly. I don't know why. I just really want to be a good wife and mom, and I never feel like I do enough to be that. And then I stress out about it.
I often feel like crying. Over the silliest things. Again, I have no reason to cry, and yet, the feeling is almost overwhelming at times.
I really just want peace. *sigh*
I have no idea why.
I have so much to be thankful for and to praise Him for, I just don't have peace.
Where is it? How do I get it? I just want a calm feeling.
Instead, I feel like my insides are always jumbled up. I always worry about everything. I worry about not doing a good enough job as a mom and wife, mainly. I don't know why. I just really want to be a good wife and mom, and I never feel like I do enough to be that. And then I stress out about it.
I often feel like crying. Over the silliest things. Again, I have no reason to cry, and yet, the feeling is almost overwhelming at times.
I really just want peace. *sigh*
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Day of Rejoicing
Today, Zachy and Natalie both had appointments with the cardiologist. It was quite funny when they brought us back to the exam room. I only had Matthew, Zachy, and Natalie with me. We went to a tiny exam room. A nurse took us. Zachy got on the bed and she started working with his pacemaker. At the same time, another nurse was doing an EKG on Natalie. Then, two residents came in...one to ask me questions about Zachy, one about Natalie. We were all crammed into this little room, and it just made me chuckle.
So Zachy is doing great. His pacemaker battery still says it will last 5-7 years. Great news. The only downer was that the doctor said if Zachy grows like Matthew, then we'll be needing to replace the lead wires sooner than they thought. That's kind of a bummer. It was so hard to get those leads in, I hate to think of how it will go next time. But, that's several years from now...no sense thinking about it now. He goes back in six months, for his last visit before we move.
Good news for Natalie too. Her heart looks great. She does have a bit of narrowing at the repair site, but nothing to worry about. The doc thinks that it would be good in a couple years to do an MRI to see the structure of her heart better. However, he won't be her doctor in a couple of years, so we'll see what the new doc says. The most exciting thing is she has graduated to 6 month visits. She will go one more time with Zachy. So hard to believe, but oh so wonderful!
So Zachy is doing great. His pacemaker battery still says it will last 5-7 years. Great news. The only downer was that the doctor said if Zachy grows like Matthew, then we'll be needing to replace the lead wires sooner than they thought. That's kind of a bummer. It was so hard to get those leads in, I hate to think of how it will go next time. But, that's several years from now...no sense thinking about it now. He goes back in six months, for his last visit before we move.
Good news for Natalie too. Her heart looks great. She does have a bit of narrowing at the repair site, but nothing to worry about. The doc thinks that it would be good in a couple years to do an MRI to see the structure of her heart better. However, he won't be her doctor in a couple of years, so we'll see what the new doc says. The most exciting thing is she has graduated to 6 month visits. She will go one more time with Zachy. So hard to believe, but oh so wonderful!
Monday, May 3, 2010
I'm BA-ACK
We got home from Disney World yesterday.
We had such a great time and it was such a bummer to come home and go back to life as normal. I really think I'd like to live at Disney World. I would point out buildings there and tell Matt that we could just live there. Too bad they were probably all fake!
Natalie did wonderfully. I was concerned about taking a 3 month old, but in reality, it was great.
Emily was so much fun this year. To see her interacting with the characters was awesome.
I haven't uploaded pictures, but when I do, I'm going to come back and do another entry.
For now though, it's life as usual!
We had such a great time and it was such a bummer to come home and go back to life as normal. I really think I'd like to live at Disney World. I would point out buildings there and tell Matt that we could just live there. Too bad they were probably all fake!
Natalie did wonderfully. I was concerned about taking a 3 month old, but in reality, it was great.
Emily was so much fun this year. To see her interacting with the characters was awesome.
I haven't uploaded pictures, but when I do, I'm going to come back and do another entry.
For now though, it's life as usual!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The House of Mouse
Yep, we are headed there again this year.
To Disney World that is.
If you remember, we got season passes last year when we went.
We had gone back and forth about whether we were going to go again before they expired.
In the end, we decided that after the rough start to the year, the kids deserved some fun..and us too.
So, we took the plunge and are headed to Disney next week.
It should be interesting taking a 3 month old baby, but we'll survive. And it's about being together as a family anyway.
My biggest concern is that right now, Natalie HATES the car seat...and we are driving...for two whole days. Yikes. I hope she learns to not hate it so much by the end of this! Wish us luck!
To Disney World that is.
If you remember, we got season passes last year when we went.
We had gone back and forth about whether we were going to go again before they expired.
In the end, we decided that after the rough start to the year, the kids deserved some fun..and us too.
So, we took the plunge and are headed to Disney next week.
It should be interesting taking a 3 month old baby, but we'll survive. And it's about being together as a family anyway.
My biggest concern is that right now, Natalie HATES the car seat...and we are driving...for two whole days. Yikes. I hope she learns to not hate it so much by the end of this! Wish us luck!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Just One More Reason I Hate You, CHD...
Last night, Zachy asked me if I thought we were going to have another good Christmas this year.
I told him that sure we would
He then asked if we were going to have another baby this Christmas.
I told him that no, we wouldn't be.
He was so sad and asked me why. Then Dillon chimed in, "yes, why not?"
I had to explain to them that not all babies with CHDs live, and I could not handle losing one of them. It would just be too much.
Dillon said, "yes, but isn't it really rare to have three babies with heart defects?"
Then I had to explain that it is indeed, very, very rare...but it is also incredibly rare to have two with the same defect. A rare defect, at that.
Zachy then told me he guessed it wouldn't be a good Christmas this year,after all, not without a new baby.
Yes, CHD, we would have loved to have more kids, but you have ruined those plans for us. I hate you intensely because of that. I grieve the children we won't have, because of you. I hate you.
I told him that sure we would
He then asked if we were going to have another baby this Christmas.
I told him that no, we wouldn't be.
He was so sad and asked me why. Then Dillon chimed in, "yes, why not?"
I had to explain to them that not all babies with CHDs live, and I could not handle losing one of them. It would just be too much.
Dillon said, "yes, but isn't it really rare to have three babies with heart defects?"
Then I had to explain that it is indeed, very, very rare...but it is also incredibly rare to have two with the same defect. A rare defect, at that.
Zachy then told me he guessed it wouldn't be a good Christmas this year,after all, not without a new baby.
Yes, CHD, we would have loved to have more kids, but you have ruined those plans for us. I hate you intensely because of that. I grieve the children we won't have, because of you. I hate you.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Not there yet
Tuesday night, our family attended a Mended Little Hearts meeting. I've been somewhat involved in this group since moving here. It's been really hit or miss with the group because I often feel further out than most of the other families. I wanted to be involved to support people, just never got the opportunity.
Fast forward to this year. I'm right back where I started. So, we decided to get more involved in the group. I really want to be on the support side of things, and I really thought I was ready.
However, on Tuesday, the leader was talking about all the different aspects of the group. Be it support or being supported. She said we are all in different places on this journey. I was fighting tears the whole time, for some reason.
I guess I'm not as ready as I wanted to be.
It's strange, really. I feel like I'm in two different places on this journey. I no longer question why Zachy was born with TAPVR, but I do with Natalie. I no longer cry over Zachy, but I do over Natalie. I guess there are things that apply to both of them, like why did this happen twice? I should say why did it happen at all, but it's always, why twice.
I truck along, usually happy, but sometimes, out of the blue, this overwhelming sadness comes.
I just really don't know where I am. And I'm not sure I need to know. I guess I just need to be. Where ever, and however that is.
Fast forward to this year. I'm right back where I started. So, we decided to get more involved in the group. I really want to be on the support side of things, and I really thought I was ready.
However, on Tuesday, the leader was talking about all the different aspects of the group. Be it support or being supported. She said we are all in different places on this journey. I was fighting tears the whole time, for some reason.
I guess I'm not as ready as I wanted to be.
It's strange, really. I feel like I'm in two different places on this journey. I no longer question why Zachy was born with TAPVR, but I do with Natalie. I no longer cry over Zachy, but I do over Natalie. I guess there are things that apply to both of them, like why did this happen twice? I should say why did it happen at all, but it's always, why twice.
I truck along, usually happy, but sometimes, out of the blue, this overwhelming sadness comes.
I just really don't know where I am. And I'm not sure I need to know. I guess I just need to be. Where ever, and however that is.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Unbreakable Bond
I have been meaning to write about this..and every day it gets better.
The bond between Zachy and Natalie is unbelievable.
Zachy tells her every day that he is so glad she didn't die, and that God let her stay with us. He truly means it.
He kisses her all the time and is always whispering in her ears.
Today, he asked me if we were going to have anymore babies.
I explained to him that I didn't know, because I couldn't have handled if either of them had actually died, and we weren't sure we wanted to risk that again.
He said, "that's why I want to protect babies. I want to be a doctor"
"oh really? A doctor that takes care of babies? Or a doctor that takes care of babies hearts?"
"A doctor that takes care of their hearts. I don't ever want a baby to die because of their heart"
This is the first time he has expressed an interest in being a doctor.
We have often asked him if he wanted to grow up and be like Dr. Bush, and the answer was always no.
Apparently, seeing what it does to someone, other than yourself, totally changes things.
He never used to really talk about his heart, but now he does.
He tells me, "me and Natalie have the specialist hearts in the family".
He loves her so deeply, and it touches me so much. They will be bound for life.
He is young, and time will tell if he becomes a pediatric cardiologist, but I can't imagine anyone more empathetic than him.
The bond between Zachy and Natalie is unbelievable.
Zachy tells her every day that he is so glad she didn't die, and that God let her stay with us. He truly means it.
He kisses her all the time and is always whispering in her ears.
Today, he asked me if we were going to have anymore babies.
I explained to him that I didn't know, because I couldn't have handled if either of them had actually died, and we weren't sure we wanted to risk that again.
He said, "that's why I want to protect babies. I want to be a doctor"
"oh really? A doctor that takes care of babies? Or a doctor that takes care of babies hearts?"
"A doctor that takes care of their hearts. I don't ever want a baby to die because of their heart"
This is the first time he has expressed an interest in being a doctor.
We have often asked him if he wanted to grow up and be like Dr. Bush, and the answer was always no.
Apparently, seeing what it does to someone, other than yourself, totally changes things.
He never used to really talk about his heart, but now he does.
He tells me, "me and Natalie have the specialist hearts in the family".
He loves her so deeply, and it touches me so much. They will be bound for life.
He is young, and time will tell if he becomes a pediatric cardiologist, but I can't imagine anyone more empathetic than him.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Dear TAPVR
Dear TAPVR and your faithful sidekick ASD,
I'm writing to you because they say that sometimes it is easier to talk about your feelings in writing. I'm willing to give it a shot, because I have a bone to pick with you.
You see, TAPVR, I don't particularly care for uninvited guests. And you have chosen to come to our home not once, but twice. You crept up silently, before you so rudely barged in.
Most guests come to be the life of the party. You, on the other hand, came to suck the life out of my children. I guess no one informed you that you were coming to the wrong house, because you see, my children are much stronger than you.
I guess I'm not labeling you correctly. Guests,eventually leave. But you will never leave, will you? No, you will always be around, until the day I die. When my baby has a hard time breathing, you will be the first thought that comes to the doctor's minds. They will do x-rays to be sure blood isn't backing up into her precious little lungs, because of you. When my little boy tires, it is you who will pop up into everyone's minds again.
It is also you who my kids will continue beating, every day of their lives. Again, I'm sorry no one informed you of their ability to do that.
I don't like you. In fact, I hate you. And I don't hate easily. In fact, I can't think of anyone else I hate. To hate is to murder. How I wish I could literally murder you. I would do it in a heartbeat...no pun intended.
I guess though, that I do owe you some thanks. How can that be?
Because of you, I have fallen to my knees more than I would have had you not shown your face. I'm so ashamed to admit that.
You have taught me not to take anything for granted. So many women get pregnant and just assume their baby will be healthy. Not me, no, you took that naivety from me.
You taught me just how precious life is, and that in a beat of a heart it can be gone.
Lastly, you have shown me how strong my children are. Oh how I admire them. I wish I was that strong. I know though, that all of our strength comes from our heavenly Father.
For these things, I thank you.
I hate you and wish I didn't know you, but I do appreciate all you have taught me.
Your host..forever,
The mom of 2 of the most precious babies, who just so happen to know you far too well.
I'm writing to you because they say that sometimes it is easier to talk about your feelings in writing. I'm willing to give it a shot, because I have a bone to pick with you.
You see, TAPVR, I don't particularly care for uninvited guests. And you have chosen to come to our home not once, but twice. You crept up silently, before you so rudely barged in.
Most guests come to be the life of the party. You, on the other hand, came to suck the life out of my children. I guess no one informed you that you were coming to the wrong house, because you see, my children are much stronger than you.
I guess I'm not labeling you correctly. Guests,eventually leave. But you will never leave, will you? No, you will always be around, until the day I die. When my baby has a hard time breathing, you will be the first thought that comes to the doctor's minds. They will do x-rays to be sure blood isn't backing up into her precious little lungs, because of you. When my little boy tires, it is you who will pop up into everyone's minds again.
It is also you who my kids will continue beating, every day of their lives. Again, I'm sorry no one informed you of their ability to do that.
I don't like you. In fact, I hate you. And I don't hate easily. In fact, I can't think of anyone else I hate. To hate is to murder. How I wish I could literally murder you. I would do it in a heartbeat...no pun intended.
I guess though, that I do owe you some thanks. How can that be?
Because of you, I have fallen to my knees more than I would have had you not shown your face. I'm so ashamed to admit that.
You have taught me not to take anything for granted. So many women get pregnant and just assume their baby will be healthy. Not me, no, you took that naivety from me.
You taught me just how precious life is, and that in a beat of a heart it can be gone.
Lastly, you have shown me how strong my children are. Oh how I admire them. I wish I was that strong. I know though, that all of our strength comes from our heavenly Father.
For these things, I thank you.
I hate you and wish I didn't know you, but I do appreciate all you have taught me.
Your host..forever,
The mom of 2 of the most precious babies, who just so happen to know you far too well.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Coming out of my hole
I feel like I'm coming out of a hole.
When I'm pregnant, I tend to become a hermit. I really don't know why. I don't feel depressed or anything like that, I just like to be home with my family. The kids did their play, I helped with that, and there was always church involvement, but that was about it.
We are part of a home school group that meets every Friday for park day.
Last week was the first one we have gotten to this year.
This week, we have kicked school up into high gear and are back to our four day schedule. Usually, Friday is our catch up day. So whatever they were unable to complete during the week, gets done Friday.
Today, Dillon and Matthew both have a little bit of lap booking to do, and when I say little, I mean they both have one mini book to complete...which is not a lot.
Which all means we're hitting the park again today!
Last night, we had some friends over for dinner, so I got the house all clean for that. And that means I have very little preparation for Sabbath.
It's almost like a day off today! Woo Hoo!
I do have some picking up and laundry to do, and some errands to run, but for the most part, it will be a laid back day.
I feel like things are starting to move along like they did in the days before I was pregnant and in my hole. I like it.
And once the trees start to bloom, I'll feel even better! I can't wait! I'm so envious of all the people in the northwest who are talking about flowers that are starting to peek through the ground. I miss bulb flowers so much. I guess it doesn't get cold enough here to do to the bulbs what has to be done during the winter. So for now, everything is dead. That gets old real quick.
Spring is just around the corner though! My second favorite season.
Good times are ahead! I can feel it.
When I'm pregnant, I tend to become a hermit. I really don't know why. I don't feel depressed or anything like that, I just like to be home with my family. The kids did their play, I helped with that, and there was always church involvement, but that was about it.
We are part of a home school group that meets every Friday for park day.
Last week was the first one we have gotten to this year.
This week, we have kicked school up into high gear and are back to our four day schedule. Usually, Friday is our catch up day. So whatever they were unable to complete during the week, gets done Friday.
Today, Dillon and Matthew both have a little bit of lap booking to do, and when I say little, I mean they both have one mini book to complete...which is not a lot.
Which all means we're hitting the park again today!
Last night, we had some friends over for dinner, so I got the house all clean for that. And that means I have very little preparation for Sabbath.
It's almost like a day off today! Woo Hoo!
I do have some picking up and laundry to do, and some errands to run, but for the most part, it will be a laid back day.
I feel like things are starting to move along like they did in the days before I was pregnant and in my hole. I like it.
And once the trees start to bloom, I'll feel even better! I can't wait! I'm so envious of all the people in the northwest who are talking about flowers that are starting to peek through the ground. I miss bulb flowers so much. I guess it doesn't get cold enough here to do to the bulbs what has to be done during the winter. So for now, everything is dead. That gets old real quick.
Spring is just around the corner though! My second favorite season.
Good times are ahead! I can feel it.
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