Oh the fun we have!

We are home safely. We had a totally uneventful drive. And a good vacation.
We spent the first half in a town just west of Dallas where we did lots of fun Christmasy stuff and spent lots of time in the pool and hot tub. Oh how I miss the hot tub! I think I may need one!
The second half was spent in Missouri with Matt's brother and sister-in-law and their kids. Good times were had by all. The adventure there happened when their heat went out. It was out nearly the entire time we were there. Gina blames me, rightfully so I suppose. Before going to visit she had told me it was very cold in Missouri. I joked about us not being able to go up there, and asked her how their heat was. She told me it was just fine, and to quit being such a wuss. We get there, the heat goes out. Clearly, my fault. Although, perhaps she was just trying to toughen me up, and perhaps the heat wasn't out at all. It was one big joke. OK, not really, I saw the heating men there with my own two eyes, so it must have been legit.
We baked lots of cookies and ate way too much, but it was fun.
We arrived home on Friday night. That's when the adventure began!
The kids had slept a lot on the way home, so of course they were all wide awake when we got home.
Because everyone went to bed so late, we were late getting to church. It was my week to work in the kitchen, and Matt was leading the song service. He had asked Matthew to watch Emmie while we did our duties. Emmie was spinning in a chair and fell off and hit her face on a metal folding chair. She knocked two of her capped teeth out of alignment. There was blood everywhere and she was screaming bloody murder. We raced home to call the dentist. After talking with her, we decided there wasn't anything more that could be done, but that we would go in for x-rays today.
She has swelled a bit and I noticed her nose was out of alignment now.
The x-rays revealed that her root was fractured and also the bone that holds the teeth has a hairline fracture in it. Nothing can be done, and it's just a waiting game to see if the teeth die. If they die they will have to pull them, so we are praying hard that they stay alive.
Today the teeth are still loose, so we know she hit pretty hard. Thankfully though, she has caps. They told me if the caps weren't there her teeth would have broken right off at the gums.
I think I have been more worried about this than I realized because tonight I am absolutely beat. Not sleepy, just physically exhausted.
Collin had an ophthalmology appointment today and they discovered he is seeing 20/30 corrected now. So that is great. The other doc had said his eyes had gotten worse, but today they said no. YIPPEE!!
Tomorrow night we are having an agape feast at church and I'm apparently in charge of it. Didn't realize that till today, so it's been last minute rushing about to get things done.
I think I need another vacation!!

What has happened to the Monkey's??

So after my last entry we all proceeded to get sick. It hasn't been fun in these parts.
It's starts out innocent enough...just a cough. You don't even feel bad, you just cough. And it's lovely, you cough up phlegm. But alas, you just cough.
But then, oh my lands, it hits you. And it plows you down like the snow plows that are undoubtedly plowing in other parts of the country.
It comes with a nice high fever (104 in my kids) and aches and pains. And sleepless nights because of the endless hacking.
And. if you are particularly lucky, it all changes into pneumonia like it did for poor Zachy.
The very worst part of all of this is that we are leaving tomorrow for vacation. Friends, the Monkey Family never goes on vacation, and we were so looking forward to this break from reality.
But, we will forge on. We will pack our family up along with a plethora of cough meds and antibiotics and throat lozenges. We will brave this illness and be determined to have a good time. And we will SUCCEED!!
I think this may be possible because I think we are all on the downhill side of this. Everyone except Matt, who is just coming into it. Poor thing.
While I'm forcing us to have a good time, I won't have computer access. We are old school folk who don't have a laptop. But I want to take this opportunity to wish every one of you a very, merry Christmas. I hope you all enjoy your families this year and please don't forget the reason for the season. Our wonderful savior, Jesus Christ. May God richly bless you this season.
I'll see you on the flip side!

This is me, at 33.

Yesterday was my birthday! I'm thirty-three now. And it seems a significant number. You only get those doubles every eleven years. This coming year will be special for Dillon since it will be his first ever double!
At any rate, I've decided, this is the year I vow to truly love me.
I looked in the mirror the other day, and I saw something unfamiliar.
I saw stretch marks that are the reward for the five biggest accomplishments of my life.
I saw saggy breasts that sag from years of not only nourishing, but comforting those five children I love so much.
I saw extra pounds packed on during the most stressful of times. Made stressful simply because I love these people so deeply. To watch others go through what my kids go through wouldn't affect me nearly as much.
I saw dark circles under my eyes. They were the result of little sleep. I had been up the night before nursing a sick Emily. They spoke of love to me.
The very best thing I saw was wrinkled creases at my eyes. Crows feet. But guess what. When I frowned and made a face I might make while crying, they weren't there. In fact, there were no wrinkles there. However, when I smiled, and laughed, they were. This is proof to me that my life is much more about laughter and smiles than about frowns and sorrow.
I looked deeper. I saw a heart that should be burst right open. I can't describe how much love is bursting out of my heart. Both my love for others, and their love for me. I must be the luckiest person alive!
I saw compassion. I saw a person able to empathize with many in a way most people cannot. Not because I'm so much better, but because I've been there.
I saw a mature woman.
My mom said this would happen when I turned thirty, but no. It's happening now.
I'm learning that I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to look perfect. Those that matter love me no matter what. And I'm so glad.
Yes, this is my year. I may not lose all this weight. I may not be the perfect mom. I may not be the perfect wife.
But I will be me. And I will love me.

Six Flags Sunday Night

This is the only decent shot we got with Santa. Em, of course, would have nothing to do with him, but the boys..even Matthew...all sat on his lap!



The hot cocoa was a bit too hot, so Matt just gave Emmie the lid with the whipped cream on it. That's the best part anyway!



Dillon was impossible to get shots of that night.



This is a horribly fuzzy picture, but it is Zachy going down the sledding hill. You should have seen how thrilled the kids were. It's the only snow any southern Texan kids see, and they thought it was the greatest thing ever!



Matthew wanted to take Emmie on all the rides with him. This is them on the giant ferris wheel. Of course, Matt was with them, and I was in another bucket with the other three kids.



I have a bunch of pictures of Emmie and Matt that look just like this. For some reason, she thought it was great fun to look at him like that!



Self portrait of me and Collin.



This is my favorite picture of the night. It is the perfect visual for how Emily has been lately. So very, very happy.

Does this make me a hypocrite?

Thursday, Collin had an appointment that brought us to the base.
We were having ice cream at the BX when I noticed our surroundings.
We are at a training base, and every week there is a graduation from Basic Training. Families normally arrive for this on Wednesday or Thursday. Graduation is Saturday.
We were surrounded by young men, and their parents. And suddenly, I was very afraid.
"Do any of you want to join the air force when you grow up?" I asked timidly.
"ME! I do!" Dillon exclaimed excitedly.
My heart sank.
Not my boy. He can't join the military!
OK, now here's the kicker. I love the military. I love what it has done for my family. We are so much better off being a military family than we would be if we were just plain civilians. BUT. Isn't there always a 'but'??
BUT...Matt isn't deployable. And, he isn't my child! (Sorry Anna!)
I really don't make a great military wife. I would be really upset if Matt had to go to war.
Currently, Dillon and Emily are the only two children who could even join the military in our family (which I'm secretly glad about!), and it could be a huge help to them, like it was to us.
But, that doesn't change the fact that they are my babies!
Matt thinks it would be great, and can picture the day we would be back in San Antonio with Dillon for graduation, but me, I'm not so sure.
I mean..look at that innocent little face!

Something wonderful happened last week.

I have no idea what it was, but something happened.
Could it be a new and budding (finally) vocabulary? I don't know, but Emmie went from being so very whiney and demanding to being a sweet, silly, happy girl.
It is so wierd.
She has been sooo difficult all her life, and now just suddenly, she seems content.
I thought maybe it was all the company and the non stop attention, but even with them gone she is so sweet.
She's using new words all the time, and I think that helps a lot. But it seems like so much more than that.
She's just content. And it is so very, very wonderful!

We had a FANTABULOUS time!

Would you believe that for the first time in three years, we were blessed with extended family here for Thanksgiving? Well, believe it, it's true!
This is big to us.
You see, Thanksgiving has always been a big time to be with family. Especially with Matt's family. I love Thanksgiving with Matt's family. It's the one time of the year that we could see everyone, and it was always fun! Not to mention the most excellent food!
But, no one wants to come to Texas for Thanksgiving, so ever since we've been here, it's just been our little family. Which is all fine and good, just not the same. Every year, I've had a feeling of loneliness, and longing to be with our families.
This year however...oh this sweet year...Matt's brother and his family came to be with us!
Gina and I spent Wednesday baking pies. Four all together, and I just don't think it was enough! Matt made our turkey and Gina and I made the various side dishes. She even made our mother in law's dressing! YUM!
They got to experience a Texas Thanksgiving and thought it was quite different to let the kids play outside because it was so warm.
The kids all had such a good time playing together, and it was just so nice to be with family!
Thank you Tim and Gina for making the drive and coming to be with us. It was the best Thanksgiving since we've been here!

How long?

How long do you think it takes before one stops reciting lines from a play one was just in? Or for one to stop listening to the cd with the music to said play?

My entire family can recite nearly every word of the play and will randomly say something.

Just now, Collin was doing something and I hear, "shut your piehole toots!" This was Dillon's first line, and it comes out all the time.

And then, Violet sings the "blew it" song. You know the one...she is blowing up like a blueberry and she sings, "I guess I blew it, blew it, BLEW IT, BLEW IT!!!" And then she screams and "rolls" off the stage. My kids sing it, and Emmie sings along. Then she screams...for a loooooong time. It's awfully cute.

But really. When do you think we won't be listening to all things Wonka?!?!

I think she is wrong about something

The last day of the play, another mom and I were putting things away backstage and we were chit chatting. Somehow, she had overheard someone else say that I homeschool.
She looks at me and says, "you have five kids?"
"yep"
"and you homeschool them?!?"
"yep"
And then, completely nonchalantly, she says, "you must be mentally ill, and all the chaos in your life keeps you sane, yes mentally ill" She was walking away at this point so I didn't respond, only to chuckle a bit.
But I think she has it wrong.
You see, she doesn't have a clue about the chaos that is my life. She has no idea that the chaos goes much, much deeper than homeschooling. She doesn't know of all the trips to the doctors we take, of the pulses we check regularly, or the meds we administer do different kids every day. Homeschooling is what keeps us sane. Not the chaos.
I think I would lose my mind if I had to schedule things around school!
I also start to lose it when I have an abundance of extra stuff to get done. Like today, I'm kind of feeling overwhelmed. I've been baking all day for a bake sale on Sunday. And doing the normal laundry, and schooling, and cleaning, and tending to Emmie. But just that one extra thing has thrown me for a loop. My day feels all out of sorts!
But hey, it's alright, us mentally ill folks thrive on the chaos!

The shining moment

Willy Wonka Jr ran this weekend. As you know by now, my eldest two were in it. Matthew (12) was Grandpa Joe and Dillon (10) was Mick TeaVee. They did so very well.
Every night, flowers and Wonka candy were sold. The actors were always given flowers or candy from their family and friends who came to see them.
Everyone, that is except for one girl. Caili, aka Mrs Bucket. She was the only other homeschooled kid and she is also a military brat.
So, like my kids, there wasn't anyone to see her. OK, as a side note here, the last day my kids did have friends see them, but that was it, us and them.
We had searched and found Wonka Bars at Toys R Us. Now, the Wonka Bars were prized candy. In fact, before the last performance, they auctioned off a bar for $35. Insane, right? All in the spirit though!
At any rate, the Wonka Bars didn't show up till the end, and we had already given bars to our kids.
What I didn't know, though, was that Matthew had saved his. The next day he said he needed to talk to me. I asked him what was up and he said, "I really appreciate that you got us Wonka Bars, but I'd like to give mine to someone" Me, "oh really? who?" "Caili, she never has anyone to watch her and she hasn't gotten anything after the play"
Oh my, I was so proud of him!
And so he did. Only the exchange was much less grand than one might think. He stopped her and said, "here, this is for you" She looked confused and said thank you and walked off. She'll never know how much thought went into that gesture, and how huge it is coming from him.
Yes, the kids were awesome. Many, MANY people told me how great they were and especially how wonderfully Matthew can sing. But this one act, that was seen by no one, was definitely the shining moment for me.

I'm so proud!

Last night was opening night!
I worked backstage so saw the whole thing from the wings.
For the first time I saw the show without Emily squawking in my ear. It was so great.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...my boys can sing!
But aside from them, everyone did a great job. I was a bit concerned during dress rehearsal. I wasn't sure the younger kids could pull it together, but they did.
I felt bad for my kids though, because there was no one in the audience for them. After the show they said, "go out in the audience and see your family and friends" and my kids had no one. Oh well, Sunday their friends will be there.
Anyway, I'm pretty proud of them today.

Let's just jump right to it

I'm in the living room and overhearing Dillon and Collin.
Dillon is teaching Collin how to find the area of a parellelogram.
Ok, let's think about this. Collin doesn't know how to multiply yet. Nor does he know how to find the area of something simple like a rectangle. We won't mention that he doesn't know what area is!
He seems to be understanding Dillon though!

Don't forget

Today is Veteran's day. As I drove around town (yes, the great white is fixed, oh how we love her), I saw very few flags flying. You wouldn't even know it was Veteran's day.
A couple people called Matt and thanked him for his service, which was nice. But in general, I think it is so easy for people to just ignore that there is a war going on. And that so many of our troops are over fighting every single day.
We go to the doctor at Brook Army Medical Center, which has a burn unit. Everytime we go, we see the results of war. What these kids sacrifice because they are proud to live in the greatest country there is.
Today, we remember the vets who have served in the past, and are serving today. We remember their families who sacrifice so much. The wives and children who say goodbye to their husbands for way too long. The mothers and fathers who have buried their children much too soon.
If you forgot, please thank a vet, for all they do, have done, and will continue to do...voluntarily, so that you might live in freedom.

Poor Great White

The Great White has been having troubles. Specifically with her radiator. There is a leak in a hose causing her to lose all her coolant. She then says, "WAIT, I'm too hot...SHUT ME OFF" And so, we have.
Today, a great big truck came to our house, loaded her up and took her away.
How we miss her.
We missed her all weekend, even though she sat in the driveway. But sitting in the driveway does not help one get a family of seven any place. Everywhere we went this weekend we had to go in two trips. Thankfully, Matthew and Dillon are old enough to be left alone while Matt dropped me and the littles off wherever we needed to be. But still, such a pain.
Hopefully, soon, the dealership will call us up and let us know she is fixed. Although, we have no idea when that is supposed to be. I suppose, it could take days. We'll see.
It all goes along with opening week of the play, when the boys have to be at rehearsal at 5. Matt gets home close to 5. So yeah, our boys will be late until she comes home to us where she belongs!
Poor thing, she's awfully young to be getting hot flashes...

Treadmill test

After adjusting the settings on Zachy's pacemaker, he got to do his first treadmill test. Isn't he so cute??
And let me just add, that as cheesy as it may seem, it makes me very proud that the men surrounding him are all in uniform.

This is it!

Willy Wonka Jr runs this week!
I can't believe, after devoting all our time to rehearsals and tech days for the last two and a half months that it is finally here!
The kids are doing so great, and we are so very proud of them.
Last night, Matthew and Dillon put on a little performance for us. Dillon did his main song and Matthew sang and did the choreography of Dill's mother with him. Then Matthew did one of his big songs and Dillon played the part of Charlie during it.
My kids can sing! Not to brag, but they can. Which is huge to me, because I cannot. And I have always hoped that they would get their dad's musical ability. Thank goodness, they have!
I'm ready for the show to be done, but at the same time I'm not. It has been a great experience for the boys. We will be doing this more often, for sure.
But at the end of this week I'll be singing along with them..."no Willy Wonka just can't go!!"

Are you cold?

It is always so hard for me to believe that there are parts of the country that are cold right now. We got pictures from our old pastor showing us snow this week.
This is what it is like here. This picture was taken last Sunday. The pathfinders were working on their swimming honor.

Update on Zachy

So today was Zachy's appointment.
When he was originally paced, they were happy because he was able to get his heart rate up on his own. And by that I mean while active his heart would raise to the proper level. So, his heart rate was very low, but when he got active, he was able to get it up on his own.
That isn't happening now. So, he was being active, and his hr wasn't going up very much, causing him to be tired.
The dr changed the settings on his pm to now include the higher rates. So now, when he gets active, his pacemaker will kick in and raise his hr to a higher level, where it needs to be to properly oxygenate him.
We are happy about this, because it was a simple fix. We hope. We still have to wait and see if this takes care of the problem. It is a bit troubling though, because a year ago he was able to do that on his own, now he isn't.
Time will tell what the future holds for Zachy. But right now his heart looks great and strong, just a bit lazy.

Heart Video

OK, as if I'm not emotional enough these days...a mom on my heart list sent this video. Her son is Brayden.
This is so cool that I'm even removing my Christmas music for awhile so everyone can see just how awesome this is.
Of course, I cry through it like a big ol' baby!

*edited to add...if you can't tell, all of these are heart defects.

I just have to say..

I have the BEST husband in the world. He doesn't read my blog, but I wanted everyone to know just how much I love him and how wonderful he is.
I have been having a really hard time the last couple of weeks. All sorts of things have been bothering me. And he has walked with me every step of the way to get through.
While someone we know would say, "you're just being an emotional woman," Matt hasn't said it or even thought it. I think. And I say that because he has specifically said how much it bugs him when said friend says that.
On the other side of all this stress I have no doubt that I will be a much stronger person. I always am. But going through it always really stinks.
So to his parents, thank you for giving me such a wonderful man to share my ups and downs with.
And to Matt, should you ever read this, I love you more than you can ever imagine. Thank you for being my very best friend.