Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Bizarre Dreams

So far, in the month and a half that I've known I'm pregnant, I haven't really stressed about anything being wrong with this baby. My goal is to get through the first trimester without miscarrying.
I think I'm not worried because I have come to learn that truly, God will not give us more than we can handle. I believe this with all my heart, and know that whatever happens, He is in control.
But, somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of my mind, the thought must be lingering.
The last two nights I have had crazy dreams.
The first one, I was at a doctors office. There were three women in the room. The doctor, a nurse, and an ultrasound tech. I recognize them, but they aren't my real doctor and staff. Matt was there too.
They came in with this goop, that was the consistency of hair removal wax. They tell me it's the latest in technology, and they are going to test for defects. They rub the stuff on the inside of my wrist, and Matt's too. We waited, then peeled it off. Matt's was normal, but mine had turned my skin dark red.
They pulled out this card with different colors on it, and declared that red meant my baby had a club foot.
I was trying to reason with them that a physical anomaly like that wouldn't do anything that would cause my skin to emit any kind of different oils or anything. Then I asked how old the test was. It was 5 years old and had only been used 1 other time, but they figured I was a good candidate. Apparently, they tested Matt because the test could tell if he was a carrier of anything.
Totally weird.
Then last night, I dreamt that I was at the dentist office. My crown had come off and I was so worried about it being put back on. I couldn't handle the pain again and I was just panicking. I told them I had been so careful because I was concerned that eating on that side would pull it off, and it had. This is true in real life, I'm very scared of that coming off and having to deal with that pain again.
Anyway, the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a room and was feeling pretty loopy. There were beds all around me with other people on them. I slowly realized that this was the nitrous room and they were gassing us to prepare us for our procedures. At first I thought it was great, but then I realized I was pregnant.
I had to try and get up and make my way to the door, not an easy feat! I finally made it and found the dentist and told him I was gassed and that I was pregnant and would the nitrous hurt my baby. He said, "oh, no, not after 10 weeks, I'm sure you are past that, right?" I said, "NO! I'm 9 weeks 3 days!! What will happen??" He said that before 10 weeks, it would totally reverse all the formation of the spinal cord and I could now be looking at some very serious defects. I was so upset, and yet the next thing I remember was getting that crown back on. And being totally panicked.
I do hope tonight brings some better rest and dreams!
In other pregnancy news, Matt made a delicious looking lasagna the other night, but used turkey meat. Apparently, I haven't had turkey meat since becoming pregnant. I took one bite and couldn't eat any more. What a huge bummer!

1 comment:

Maria said...

AWWWWW....how scary to be having those kind of dreams...but as you know, it is ALL in GOD'S HANDS....no matter what we want, if things are ment to be they will be!! :) i know you have faith that in everthing that happens is EXACTLY the way it is suppose to be!! be calm....and just cherish the life in you!! :) you are soooo BLESSED with all your babies!! i am so happy for you guys!!

tons of love,
maria

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