Heart Walk

This morning was the heart walk. It was loads of fun, and we got to meet some other heart families!
The walk was 3 miles and we did it in an hour. We were bringing up the rear, that's for certain! But we started at the very rear so we'll blame that! HAHA!!
Anyway, here are some pictures from the walk.

Here's Matthew before we got started. He wasn't really in a bad mood, it was just the way the camera caught him. Matt says in this picture he looks like such a big kid.



Dillon, waiting to get started.



Waiting to get started. The other little boy is my friend, Maria's, son. He has TAPVR like Zachy.





Here we are (minus me hehe) walking. You can tell there aren't many people behind us. In our defense, our whole group was walking at the end, it wasn't just us being lazy!





Before the walk, they gathered all the heart survivors for a picture. This is Matt's version of Zachy and Maria's Matthew.






And after the walk the kids had fun on the swings.

Things I haven't been prepared for

Time is flying and the boys are growing oh so fast. But certain things happen that just throw me for a loop and make me realize just how fast they are growing.

Number one, Dillon is wearing deoderant. We were thinking the time would be coming for Matthew, because there is a girl at church his age who has gotten pretty stinky. Matthew isn't stinky, but much to our surprise..Dillon IS! I suppose it is entirely possible that Dillon could hit puberty before Matthew does. Wouldn't that be interesting?

Number two, Collin has a wart. Don't you have to be older to get warts? Ok, I know you don't, but Dillon was older, so I wasn't expecting to see one on my sweet Cameedle! But there it is. I just hope we can nip it in the bud before it gets as bad as Dill's were.

Number three, Zachy is now in a booster seat. How is my baby old enough to outgrow his car seat? But it's true, he was too big for his car seat and now sits in a big boy booster seat! Matt told me he's all grown up, he's potty trained and in a booster. And those two things happened right together!

I guess it's a good thing I have a new little one to look forward to! This time thing just always seems to sneak up on me!

Dream

Last night I dreamt that we had a baby girl. In the dream we were already home, and trying to figure out what to name her. Typical of us, huh? Anyway, we were thinking Cassidee, but it never did stick, and the baby didn't have a name the whole time.
We had been home a couple of days and hadn't been to the store, therefore we only had one dress for her, nothing else (more on why I think I dreamt this later). She had pooped and her diaper leaked and stained the dress, which was white. I thought, 'I know a cloth diaper wouldn't have leaked like this, I can't wait to make the switch' (more on that later too).
At some point we decided that we should probably call our families and let them know we had had a baby! We called someone, but I don't know who it was, just someone screaming on the other end that we finally had a girl. It was wierd.
Then this morning, Dillon was laying in bed with me and said, totally out of the blue, "what will we do if this baby dies?" *Sigh*
Speaking of dying, here's the reason I dreamt we didn't have any clothes. Last night, I had to run to Wally world. I had mentioned to Matt that it didn't even seem like we were going to have a baby, since we haven't bought a single thing, or even looked at anything for that matter. In fact, in the baby departments, I feel like a fraud standing there. It's wierd. Anyway, I thought to myself, 'self, let's pick up some onesies tonight, just to have SOMETHING' But when I got there, I looked at them and though, 'I would want to open them and wash them, how about some diapers, that way if the baby doesn't ever make it home with us, we can return them' In the end, I didn't get anything.
I know that I've brought all my babies home, and for that I am so grateful, but we just came so close with Zachy, that I am afraid this one won't make it home. I wonder if after the u/s I will feel better. I doubt it. Zachy's u/s were perfect. No problems whatsoever.
Anyway, about the diapers, I've been thinking about diapers. And cloth dipes. I need some opinions. I've always used Fuzzi Bunz, but they tend to really grab and odor that I have a hard time getting rid of. I'm thinking it may be the fleece, because I can get it out of the inserts and prefolds. I don't have any small cloth dipes, but I do have tons of chinese prefolds. What are your opinions on dipes? I know I have a few cloth diaperers. What would be best? I have quite a few other big ticket purchases to make since we have nothing, so I need to do it as cheaply as possible without buying cheap dipes, if you know what I mean. Anyway, please leave your opinions for me!! Thanks

AH..AH....AH....CHOO!!!!

Can't. Stop. Sneezing. Some allergen must be high today, because I have been a sneezing machine today. Of course, it doesn't help that every single hair on my head has been tickling my nose. Individually!!
So anyway, I had my 3 hour test yesterday. It wasn't too fun, but not nearly as bad as I anticipated. The hardest part was entertaining 4 kids for 3 hours. But we found a place with tables and chairs and the kids did all their school work. It could have been much worse. I should find out the results on Friday. I'm praying I pass it. But we shall see.
ACK!!! I just got pickle juice on my shirt..I HATE the smell of pickles!
Let me think, there was so much I was going to write here, but got sidetracked with the dumb pickles.
The other night, we were eating carrots with dinner and I said, "maybe if I eat enough carrots, this baby's eyes will be ok" Matthew said he hoped so, and now asks me daily if I've eaten any carrots. I've been eating quite a few carrots, I'll tell you that!
Here's a picture of some of the stuff the kids have been working on in History. They are loving history this year, they get to make so much stuff. The pyramid with the scribbles on it is Collin's.



And just a cute picture. Zachy totally adores Matthew, and the feeling is mutual.

Results are in

Well, I failed my one hour glucose test. I go in tomorrow morning for the 3 hour fasting test. Should be loads of fun. HA!!! I have to take all the kiddies with me, and sit there for 3 hours. We'll take school, but I don't know how to entertain the little ones for that long. I'm worried.
I also got a call from the peri office today, and I have my level 2 u/s on the 10th of October. I'm not sure if Matt will be able to make it. I really hope he can, but we just aren't sure. *Sigh*
What else...ummmm..I don't know.
We got the kids signed up for Adventurers and Pathfinders and they have induction on Saturday night. Should be fun for them. Matt is going to be a leader in Pathfinders this year.
October is going to be a busy month for us. We have several various appointments. Mainly for me and Matthew. OK, all for Matthew and me. Hopefully it will make time fly. On Halloween I will be 20 weeks. WOOHOO!! I can't wait for halloween to be over. Hehe.
OK, that's it for now. If I survive tomorrow, I'll let you know how it goes.

Sorry, Gina

With all the talk of Zachy and the heart walk and whatnot, I figured it was time to put up Zachy's song. Hope you like it just as much. If not, maybe someday I'll put the other one back, but probably after Christmas music!! HEHE

Matters of the Heart

In November of 2002, I became pregnant...again! We were excited, and really didn't have any worries.
If you had told me that at the moment of his birth, I would be flung into a community I didn't even know existed, I would have laughed. The community is the CHD community, and it does exist. And it is huge. Which is so very sad. But true. But you see, those things don't happen to me, they happen to other people. How many times we all think that. For some reason, we tend to think that we are immune to bad things that affect others. We think that surely the mom must not have taken care of herself. There must have been drug use, or alcohol, or perhaps she smoked. Or even worked in the wrong environment, because surely things like this don't happen to women who take care of themselves.
How very, very untrue. CHD's happen to 1 in 100 babies, the highest rate of birth defect. Isn't that amazing? 1 in 100. Who would've known?
I have to say, the CHD community is a wonderful community to belong to. It isn't full of drug users, or irresponsible people. It is full of the most loving people you will ever meet. It is full of people who understand the value of life, who realize that the life they created, could be taken in an instant. It's full of people who would gladly give themselves, for their child, without a second thought.
Am I glad to be in this community? Honestly, I don't know. I have learned so much through Zachy and this experience. I have learned that you really can't take them for granted. Learned how very brave and strong even the smallest of humans can be. I have felt what it is to be on the brink of losing your child, and it makes me much more grateful that they are all here, living full lives.
Of course, I would give anything to go back in time and give birth to a healthy child, who didn't have any hurdles to overcome. To take away his pain. But then, would Zachy be Zachy? I think this makes him stronger.
It's a tough question. One I'm not able to answer.
For now I'll leave you with this. The heart walk is coming up in 2 weeks. If you want to donate, please do. Click that link up there, it is so easy to donate.
And a poem, written by a fellow heartmom. Probably won't make you cry, but it sure does me.

Matters of the Heart


“To beat, or not beat”. I would choose the former. Although my son, you see, the choice is not mine.
Cadence, rhythmic, steady, strong, not your heart, but your spirit. How truly defined!
“Heart felt, pulling on heart strings”. So displayed during your hospitalizations and challenging recoveries. You lay helpless, innocent of such a crime, devastation to MY heart.
“Have a heart, broken hearts, mended hearts, I heart you! I love you, with all my heart." I would give unto you my heart, my life, my breath, my strength to mend your broken heart. I pledge this to you. You are my son, my life. You are my Lionhearted.
“Bravehearts, and endearing hearts”! This applies to you my son, and to our extended family. What? You haven’t met them? Rainbow Hearts! Ah, but they are all around us! Children of all ages who fight so innocently and lose so very mercilessly and shout with such deafening delight upon victory! Hear their pleas? Their beat goes on, or not. They surround us asking for prayers and comfort, and are our strength when needed. A loving family, and extended one, genetically linked .The gene is called “CHD”…but biologically not bound.
Heart to heart (you and me), heartfelt compassion (all that I have for you), hearty appetite, (which I can attest has become voracious!) and heart healthy diets (you are what you eat). I heart you! I love you with all of my heart. No,really, that comes from my heart! How sayings with “heart” take on an entirely different perspective.

Thump, thump, whirr, swoosh, lub-dub lub- dub whoosh, silence, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, a broken beat of sorts. The disturbed rhythm would make any musician squirm. No melody, no rhyme or reason, frantically trying to find the right beat.
The beat must go on my son. Yours and mine forever together joined as one, in heart, mind, body, and soul.

Jennifer Lafler
Mother of Bryce 7yrs old
TAPVR, ASD, PDA, SSS, SVT

ERASERS!!

What is the deal with erasers nowadays? The ones that are on the tops of pencils are so worthless. They leave black smudges everywhere, and barely erase.
This has bugged me for awhile, but today must have been an eraserful day!!

We have a PLAN!

Hooray! I love plans.
I saw my new doctor today and all was good. She found baby V's heartbeat right away and said he sounded as happy as a clam. Course, I forgot to ask her what the heart rate was, I was just happy to hear it.
Anyway, she is referring me to a perinatologist. Dr. J. will follow me for the pregnancy part and the peri will follow me for the baby development part. She said for sure there would be a level 2 ultra sound and echo, but that the peri will probably do series of scans throughout the pregnancy to keep on top of things. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to actually be taken care of properly. What a weight off.
In other news, I have been really shakey if I don't eat throughout the day. This always happens to me in the third trimester, not now. But alas, it's been happening.
To back up a bit, with the exception of #1 all of my boys have been born big and with low blood sugars. The nurses have always said, 'oh, you were diabetic, weren't you?' and I've always said, "no, I passed the test" But I've always wondered because of the shakiness.
So back to today, the dr was surpised that I hadn't ever been tested later in my third trimester after the shaking started. She said it was possible to not have diabetes at 24 weeks and then later develop it. So since I'm already shakey, I did a glucose tolerance test today. If it comes back normal, then she'll retest me at 24 weeks. If that comes back normal, they'll retest me at about 32 weeks. Just to be sure everything stays the same.
Course she said I just might be made to have big babies! Hopefully, that is the answer. I'd much rather have big babies than diabetes!
So now I go back to her in four weeks. I wait for the call from the peri to schedule that appointment. And on Friday I get the diabetes results back.
So there's the plan. YAY!!

Gettin on the ball

I must be feeling like the old me these days. Well, sometimes.
Finally, after a few months, I have sat down and called different doctors. Matthew saw a plastic surgeon who said we needed to see someone else. I also had a referral for him to see a nuerosurgeon, but hadn't made the appointment. So I did that this morning, only to discover that Matthew needs to have another MRI done. So I'm waiting on the word from the ped. to make the appointments for the MRI and the craniofacial doctor.
Now, before you go thinking I'm a bad mom or something, these are things that aren't pressing. Our ped. just wanted Matthew established with them in case there was a need later on. So it isn't like I was neglecting something super important.
I also put in a call to Zachy's card. You will recall that Zachy did the holter monitor quite awhile ago, and I never was called with the results. This wouldn't have happened back in Idaho, I'll tell ya that much. Those cards were on top of things. I'm not overly concerned because had it been bad, I'm sure we would have heard about it. However, the dr said that based on those results, he would decide how often to see Zachy. So now I'm left not knowing when he needs to be seen next. I'm not sure that it really matters, if he tries to lengthen the time, I'm not sure we'll agree to it. I don't think I'm ready to go any longer than a year in between visits. Not yet anyway. I'm a chicken. He's my baby. Gotta keep on top of things.
Now to get on the ball and start school for the day!!

Zachy is so cute

The other day, Matthew was eating something cinnamon flavored and said, "it tastes like Christmas in my mouth"
Just now, Zachy brought a cinnamon candy to me to ask if he could have it and I told him yes. When he put it in his mouth, I said, "it tastes like Christmas" He said, "ohhh"
I asked if he remembered what Christmas was and he shrugged and said, "I don't know"
I told him he would love it, that there were trees with lights, and lots of lights everywhere, and presents. His eyes got so huge and he was saying, "OHHHH" Then he trotted off in his adorable jammies with a huge smile on his face.
I don't know why this is so cute to me. But Zachy tends to get so excited about things that his brothers just think are so-so. Like when we eat, he gets so happy and says, "mmmmm nummy!!" about almost everything.
I don't think he remembers Christmas at all, or just a little bit, and I can't wait for this year, to take him to see the lights and to see his face light up when we put up the tree. He's going to be so excited!

A long overdue update

It has been so long since I've done an actual post. I keep meaning to, and then I don't. I just haven't had it in me. But alas, today is the day. The other issue has been that Blogger joined forces with Google and has changed things up on me. It has been frustrating to me, but I'm getting over it. My current issue is that it is impossible for me to comment on anyone else's blogger blog. Does anyone else have this problem or just me? Probably just me.
Things are going well down here in Texas. The boys have been doing school now for a few weeks and it is going well. I really like most of the curriculum I got them this year. I need to change up some of Dillon's, but once that happens, things should be great. Matt has decided that he likes the history the boys are doing and has taken over teaching it to them in the evenings. I always kind of assumed he would take over math someday, but never history! Wonders never cease!
The heart walk is coming up the end of this month, so if you were wanting to donate, and hadn't because it was so far away, now is the time to do it. Click the logo up there and donate! And to those of you who have already donated, thank you so much. It means the world to me.
And speaking of hearts...it is becoming apparent these days that adults with Zachy's defect are needing more care than they once thought. New issues are popping up as they become adults. In the past, these kids never lived to adulthood so it's been a mystery what happens to them as adults. It's kind of a hard pill to swallow because most of us TAPVR parents are told that our kids are 'cured' once the initial surgery is done, but that apparently isn't the case. Of course, I'm not gonna borrow trouble, it is just an interesting thought to have in the back of my head. Cardiac appointments at least every 2 years will be his life, his entire life. I'm just thankful that he came along at this time and not back when these babies weren't living very long! I can't imagine life without him!
We've had a couple blessings come to us, in the form of clothes and furniture! My sister sent me a bunch of maternity clothes, and her baby sling, which has been a blessing to me. I have a couple other friends who will be sending me more clothes as well. I could get away with not buying any clothes this pregnancy! And our neighbor gave us a really nice dresser. It is a six drawer dresser in great shape. She just wanted it out of her house because it came from her mother in law and she couldn't stand to look at it! Her loss is our gain! I am so greatful to have an extra dresser.
If you read the last post you know that Zachy is officially potty trained! WOOHOO!! It is so nice! He tells me all the time that he is a big boy now. Yes, he is, how did that happen??
Cute Zachy story, that some of you may not find so cute, but it's cute to us. Zachy is very into kissing owwies. And when I weaned him, it was after my surgery and we told him "num-nums have owwies". The other day he was talking about my num nums being all gone, and Matt said, "when the baby gets here, does he get the num nums?" And Zachy said "yes, you're num nums owwie" and kissed my boob! Now, occasionally he will run up to me and kiss a boob (through my shirt people), to make it better for his new baby. So sweet of him.
Did I ever mention here that we had Matthew's birthday at Chuck E Cheese? Well, we did. And I added pictures of it for y'all.
In other news, we now have two parakeets. Matthew has been saving his money and got enough money with birthday money to finally get them. He loves them to death. We have a yellow one and a blue one. Their names are Ernie and Ernest! Goofy kid!
In pregnancy news, I'm now in my second trimester, and feeling better every day. It is nice on these days when I feel good. I still have some really bad days, but for the most part it is getting better. I go on Tuesday to the new dr. I'm pretty excited about it, and have high hopes for her, I just hope I'm not disappointed!
Cute Collinism...when the boys say something together, they say, 'jinx you owe me a soda' But Collin says, "jinx you ORDER me a soda" It is beyond cute because he thinks that is what they say, and half the time he says it when he hasn't said something at the same time as someone else.
Let's see...what else..Matthew gets his braces off on October 4. He is pretty excited about that, but not too excited about having to wear a retainer. I was thinking, 'wow, I can't believe we're done' and then it hit me that we are only done with the first stage! We get to go through braces again when he is older. Fun Fun!
It occured to me the other day, that I have absolutely nothing for this baby. This happened when I hit 13 weeks. I think that deep down, I might not have expected to make it the second trimester. The last time I was due in March, I miscarried, so I think I thought I couldn't carry a baby at this time of year. Stupid, I know, but I think that's how I felt. So anyway, we have nothing. We have our old swing, that I just realized is missing a piece, hopefully it's in the storage shed, and a sling. That's it. I got rid of everything after I had Zachy. I don't have clothes, receiving blankets, a car seat, towels...nothing. It's crazy. And then I think, wow, I have less than 27 weeks to go! Which seems like a long time, but with the holidays in there, it will go so fast. Better get crackin!
Speaking of the holidays. I cannot wait for Christmas. I talked to my sil yesterday and she was cracking up because I was listening to Christmas music and she could hear it in the background. Personally, I think she's just jealous, she wants to be listening to it too, but is afraid to admit it! Heeheee, just kidding.
I also got news the other day that we may have company during the Christmas season. Not right at Christmas, or even Thanksgiving, but during the season anyway!! You know who you are, and I'm putting in my demand for you to come! HA! Don't you love how I can demand people to come to my house? I wish it were that easy!
Anyway, I know this post is all over the place, but I guess I had a lot on my mind. Here are some pictures to enjoy!

Matthew and Chuck E. at his party.



Matthew at his party.



Dillon and the neighbor at Matthew's party.



All the kids at the party



The picture of Zachy and Collin's cake I promised you a million years ago. My friend made it for them, and I think it looks awesome.



Collin's icky fingers when he and Zach were fingerpainting.



Making a materpiece!



Zachy's lovely hands!



And last but not least, Zachy's masterpiece!

POOF!!!

And just like that...I declare Zachy potty trained!!
He learned to poop in the potty and that was it. No more accidents. He is officially my youngest potty trained kid! It's pretty amazing, actually.
Can you believe we will actually have a break in between kids in diapers? That has never happened!

~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's been pouring, and thundering and lightening all day. The thunder and lightening has stopped for the time being, but it's been glorious!! I have a christmas candle burning and the boys and I are listening to christmas music while we do school. Matt will be thrilled when he comes home and smells the house smelling like a christmas tree! Oh well, he'll get over it!

~*~*~*~*~*~*
Things are really pretty good here right now. Matt and I have been under some major stress the last couple of months (not pregnancy related) and it is finally ending. It is such a relief, and life is actually looking good right now. Tomorrow I hit 13 weeks and the sickness is lifting. I think the stress ending is helping the sickies.
At any rate, life is good right now. Now if I could just get a maid to come clean my house after my 3 month hiatus!!! Matt did a pretty good job, but the house is a wreck right now.
Someday, things will be back to normal, and just when that happens, we'll have a newborn in the mix!! Life is GOOD!! Never a dull moment, that's for sure!

Doin the happy dance!

Yesterday, Zachy pooped in the potty for the first time ever. I figured for sure it would be a one time thing.
But just a few seconds ago he went running into the bathroom, I thought to go peepee, but no, when I looked he was sitting down and had pooped!!!
HOORAY!!! The boy may be potty trained yet!!
OK, it takes very little to make moms happy, doesn't it??

PREGNANCY HORMONES!!!

Yesterday, I was totally devastated at the news that Steve Irwin had died.
Today, I am over the moon because it is RAINING!! RAIN!!! REAL RAIN!! And it smells sooo good! Not just some freak storm that lasts all of 2 minutes, but real rain! Hooray!
I'm still sad about the family Steve Irwin left behind, but I suppose that many people die and leave families behind. At least he died doing what he loves. But still, so sad.
Oh and by the way..I'm 12 weeks today!! Yippee!!
We had a good weekend, but I need to go help with school, I'll try to update about it later.

Just for the record

I am feeling really, very well today.
I still have a bit of an icky feel to me, but overall today is a good day.
I am making the kiddies lunch right now while their homemade thermometer sits in the sun.
Did I mention we started school this week? So far so good.