The other day, we were at the store. Matt was looking at the iPhones. Of course, he'd love one, but we will never get one. Too spendy for our taste. Not to mention that we are with Sprint, not AT&T.
Zachy LOVES gadgets, especially phones. So he started saying, "I want an iPot phone too" And started asking us when he could get an ipot phone. We finally told him when he was big like Daddy.
This morning he woke up and said, "Mommy, I think I'm as big as Matthew and Dillon today. Does that mean I'm as big as Daddy? Can I get my ipot phone?"
It's really cute. But I know before long, he will be as big as Daddy.
Slow down, Son...be my baby a while longer. Please?
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Week one..done
I finished my first week of couch to 5K today.
I had a hard time finding where to run, so I finally bit the bullet today and went on base.
It was really tough for me. I was so certain people would laugh at the fat girl running. But I just tuned everyone out and did my thing.
There is a track upstairs that circles the perimeter of the gym. One half is the exercise machines, and the other the gymnasium. They were having basketball practice in the gym, and it was hot in there. I was so glad to come around to the exercise room half. Nice and cool in there.
I hurt my knee this week. I twisted it funky while kneeling down. Stupid. It hurts, but I plugged through it today.
Onto week two!
I had a hard time finding where to run, so I finally bit the bullet today and went on base.
It was really tough for me. I was so certain people would laugh at the fat girl running. But I just tuned everyone out and did my thing.
There is a track upstairs that circles the perimeter of the gym. One half is the exercise machines, and the other the gymnasium. They were having basketball practice in the gym, and it was hot in there. I was so glad to come around to the exercise room half. Nice and cool in there.
I hurt my knee this week. I twisted it funky while kneeling down. Stupid. It hurts, but I plugged through it today.
Onto week two!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Not meant to offend
I noticed today that the neighbor across the street has the cutest baby bump.
And why did I notice this?
Why because she was outside having a cigarette.
This makes me sick. I'm so sorry if I offend anyone, but it does.
Babies are so precious..and fragile.
Why would you do anything that could jeopardize your bundle of perfection?? I don't get it.
The only thing I can think is that they have never been affected by a child with a difficulty.
The thing is, her baby will probably be just perfect. And it isn't that I would ever wish anything wrong with any baby..it just kind of irks me.
OK, climbing off my soap box.
Back to the regularly scheduled blogging.
And why did I notice this?
Why because she was outside having a cigarette.
This makes me sick. I'm so sorry if I offend anyone, but it does.
Babies are so precious..and fragile.
Why would you do anything that could jeopardize your bundle of perfection?? I don't get it.
The only thing I can think is that they have never been affected by a child with a difficulty.
The thing is, her baby will probably be just perfect. And it isn't that I would ever wish anything wrong with any baby..it just kind of irks me.
OK, climbing off my soap box.
Back to the regularly scheduled blogging.
I should be baking bread...
with all this yeast.
Emily has thrush in her mouth. I have it on my breasts. She has it on her bottom.
Oh yes, good times are being had here.
Emily has thrush in her mouth. I have it on my breasts. She has it on her bottom.
Oh yes, good times are being had here.
Tagged
OK, Maria tagged me quite awhile ago. I haven't done it because, honestly, I've been having a hard time coming up with seven things about me. But I'll try.
Rules are:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1)I have always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride. I think to balloon over a beautiful green countryside would be magnificent. Matt and I used to say (back in the dating days) that we were going to run away in a hot air balloon and get married.
2)Speaking of getting married..I'd love to get married again. I was so stressed out on our wedding day, that I didn't really enjoy it. I see other people's weddings and think it looks like so much fun. Once upon a time, we had this idea that we would renew our vows at 10 years. We'd wear the same clothes and have the same attendants. I don't know what in the world was wrong with us! Ten years seemed so long. We had no idea that we could never afford to do that, or that there was no way I'd fit into my wedding dress! ALTHOUGH..after I had Collin, I lost a bunch of weight, and I was actually able to fit into my dress again!
3)My favorite animal (who is actually a mammal) is the manatee. LOVE THEM. I went swimming with them in high school. And aside from getting married and having kids, it was one of the highlights of my life. There is no way to describe putting your face in the water and seeing these ginormous creatures swimming at you. And then, get this, they practically roll over for you to rub their bellies.
4)I'm a huge Disney fan. Not necessarily the movies, but the parks. When I was little, I wanted to be Alice in Wonderland. Just so I could sit on the mushroom during the parade waving and saying, "hellooo. OH! Hello!!" If I lived in Anaheim or Orlando, I might have to figure out a way to work, just so I could work there. I would actually just like to live there. Set up residence in Cinderella's castle.
5)I love roller coasters. Although, I'm starting to not be a fan of the wooden ones. I'm old, and they are very jerky. But give me any metal, fast one, and I'm in. Matthew is like this (who would have thought??) and it has been so much fun. He's game for anything and usually dragging us to the rides.
6)I slept with my baby blanket until about sixth grade. After my parents got divorced, I had really bad nights. I was always afraid at night. I knew my house would burn down, or someone would break in, or who knows what else. But I could never sleep. So, even into high school, I would pull it out of my closet to sleep with.
7)Speaking of being a kid, when I was growing up, I always wanted a dozen kids. I don't know why a dozen, but a dozen it was. Matt always wanted seven. Who knows how many we'll end up with! ;-)
OK, I'm tagging....
1) Gina
2)Robin
3)Melissa
4)Tommy
5)UK Gina
6)Michelle
7)Cory
Rules are:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
1)I have always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride. I think to balloon over a beautiful green countryside would be magnificent. Matt and I used to say (back in the dating days) that we were going to run away in a hot air balloon and get married.
2)Speaking of getting married..I'd love to get married again. I was so stressed out on our wedding day, that I didn't really enjoy it. I see other people's weddings and think it looks like so much fun. Once upon a time, we had this idea that we would renew our vows at 10 years. We'd wear the same clothes and have the same attendants. I don't know what in the world was wrong with us! Ten years seemed so long. We had no idea that we could never afford to do that, or that there was no way I'd fit into my wedding dress! ALTHOUGH..after I had Collin, I lost a bunch of weight, and I was actually able to fit into my dress again!
3)My favorite animal (who is actually a mammal) is the manatee. LOVE THEM. I went swimming with them in high school. And aside from getting married and having kids, it was one of the highlights of my life. There is no way to describe putting your face in the water and seeing these ginormous creatures swimming at you. And then, get this, they practically roll over for you to rub their bellies.
4)I'm a huge Disney fan. Not necessarily the movies, but the parks. When I was little, I wanted to be Alice in Wonderland. Just so I could sit on the mushroom during the parade waving and saying, "hellooo. OH! Hello!!" If I lived in Anaheim or Orlando, I might have to figure out a way to work, just so I could work there. I would actually just like to live there. Set up residence in Cinderella's castle.
5)I love roller coasters. Although, I'm starting to not be a fan of the wooden ones. I'm old, and they are very jerky. But give me any metal, fast one, and I'm in. Matthew is like this (who would have thought??) and it has been so much fun. He's game for anything and usually dragging us to the rides.
6)I slept with my baby blanket until about sixth grade. After my parents got divorced, I had really bad nights. I was always afraid at night. I knew my house would burn down, or someone would break in, or who knows what else. But I could never sleep. So, even into high school, I would pull it out of my closet to sleep with.
7)Speaking of being a kid, when I was growing up, I always wanted a dozen kids. I don't know why a dozen, but a dozen it was. Matt always wanted seven. Who knows how many we'll end up with! ;-)
OK, I'm tagging....
1) Gina
2)Robin
3)Melissa
4)Tommy
5)UK Gina
6)Michelle
7)Cory
Monday, March 24, 2008
A start
If you've been reading my blog for years, you may remember when we lived in Ohio. And when Matt would go to Toledo once a month for guard duty. You may also remember I had an online friend, Carrie, who lived there. We went to see them a few times, and went to the zoo with them.
Anyway, I've been sitting back, reading her blog, and watching her start a running program. She has been loving it, and the transition in her has been nothing short of amazing. She has inspired me so much, that tonight, I am going to start the program.
This is huge for me. I have never enjoyed running. But since watching her, I've had this itch lately, to get out there and do it myself. I am so excited about it. Which is really strange for me!
I'll be following this program, in case you are interested.
Wish me luck!
Anyway, I've been sitting back, reading her blog, and watching her start a running program. She has been loving it, and the transition in her has been nothing short of amazing. She has inspired me so much, that tonight, I am going to start the program.
This is huge for me. I have never enjoyed running. But since watching her, I've had this itch lately, to get out there and do it myself. I am so excited about it. Which is really strange for me!
I'll be following this program, in case you are interested.
Wish me luck!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Long time no post
I go through these times when I just feel I have nothing exciting to say.
This is one of those times.
Life is just truckin along, like it does.
Last Sunday, we had an impromtu birthday party for Emmie. I wanted it solely for the purpose of cake pictures.
Unfortunately, the girl is not into eating these days. She is, however, into nursing, all the time. But since being sick, she just hasn't been eating.
So, we sat her in her chair, gave her her own cake, and she stuck a finger in the frosting. She then tasted it, and squirmed to get out of her seat.
That was it. No devouring of cake like I wanted.
Zachy did this too. My first 3 just gobbled it down, but not these two.
I do have pictures, but haven't uploaded them.
The weather here has been wonderful. We've been taking walks in the evenings and just enjoying the Texas spring.
On Sunday, we plan on going to Six Flags. It should be fun. Especially now that Emmie is a walker! Too bad she hates shoes. She just takes after her mommy, I guess.
Next week is full of doctors appointments. Almost every day we have something. Matthew is getting a new appliance in his mouth on Monday, so that should be exciting.
Speaking of Matthew. He saw the glaucoma doc last week. His drop wasn't working to bring down his pressure. So he is now on a different drop. We are praying this one works. If it doesn't, we will add another drop and hope that works. If THAT doesn't work, they'll try surgery. But his eye is funky, so that might not work either. At that point, he will just go black blind. Right now, he can see shadows in his right eye, so is able to at least not run into things. Although, he still runs into lots of things on the right side! We're just hoping that the drops work. I remember when he was 2 weeks old and the pediatrician told us it looked like a cataract or glaucoma. I was so afraid it was glaucoma, and so relieved it was just a cataract. I had no idea I'd be dealing with BOTH! The thing that stinks the most about the glaucoma, is that it hurts him. He frequently complains of his eye hurting. Poor thing.
Oh yes, I almost forgot...we found out last week that Matt gets to go on a humanitarian mission trip to Honduras in June. He'll be there 2 weeks. I know he'll have a wonderful time. I can see mission work being right up his alley.
OK, Emmie is sitting here demanding my attention, so I'm off. Have a happy Easter.
This is one of those times.
Life is just truckin along, like it does.
Last Sunday, we had an impromtu birthday party for Emmie. I wanted it solely for the purpose of cake pictures.
Unfortunately, the girl is not into eating these days. She is, however, into nursing, all the time. But since being sick, she just hasn't been eating.
So, we sat her in her chair, gave her her own cake, and she stuck a finger in the frosting. She then tasted it, and squirmed to get out of her seat.
That was it. No devouring of cake like I wanted.
Zachy did this too. My first 3 just gobbled it down, but not these two.
I do have pictures, but haven't uploaded them.
The weather here has been wonderful. We've been taking walks in the evenings and just enjoying the Texas spring.
On Sunday, we plan on going to Six Flags. It should be fun. Especially now that Emmie is a walker! Too bad she hates shoes. She just takes after her mommy, I guess.
Next week is full of doctors appointments. Almost every day we have something. Matthew is getting a new appliance in his mouth on Monday, so that should be exciting.
Speaking of Matthew. He saw the glaucoma doc last week. His drop wasn't working to bring down his pressure. So he is now on a different drop. We are praying this one works. If it doesn't, we will add another drop and hope that works. If THAT doesn't work, they'll try surgery. But his eye is funky, so that might not work either. At that point, he will just go black blind. Right now, he can see shadows in his right eye, so is able to at least not run into things. Although, he still runs into lots of things on the right side! We're just hoping that the drops work. I remember when he was 2 weeks old and the pediatrician told us it looked like a cataract or glaucoma. I was so afraid it was glaucoma, and so relieved it was just a cataract. I had no idea I'd be dealing with BOTH! The thing that stinks the most about the glaucoma, is that it hurts him. He frequently complains of his eye hurting. Poor thing.
Oh yes, I almost forgot...we found out last week that Matt gets to go on a humanitarian mission trip to Honduras in June. He'll be there 2 weeks. I know he'll have a wonderful time. I can see mission work being right up his alley.
OK, Emmie is sitting here demanding my attention, so I'm off. Have a happy Easter.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Just waitin
I have an itch to totally shovel out Collin and Zachy's room. It is making me nutso. I told them I was going to and Zachy said, "ok, I just want my babies and spy stuff" His babies are all the stuffed animals he got while at the hospital.
The problem?
Out a/c is on the blink again, and I have to wait for the a/c man to come fix it. Only, he couldn't give me a time, said he'd have to fit us in.
Our doorbell is very, very quiet, and I know that if I get into their room, I won't hear it.
The kids all want to be outside playing, so I can't even tell them to listen for it.
The problem?
Out a/c is on the blink again, and I have to wait for the a/c man to come fix it. Only, he couldn't give me a time, said he'd have to fit us in.
Our doorbell is very, very quiet, and I know that if I get into their room, I won't hear it.
The kids all want to be outside playing, so I can't even tell them to listen for it.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Oh me, Oh my (he barks all day and night)
OK, no one really barks all day and night, but if you know the Wiggles, you know the song. And for some reason, it is going through my head right now.
I feel I should sit and write something really great, but alas, my life is so boring right now.
Last Friday, Zachy and Collin started throwing up. It was such a pleasant day. They were done by Saturday, but still felt bad.
Sunday morning, Emmie started throwing up. Poor thing, she can't seem to catch a break lately.
She was done by Monday though.
Then Tuesday morning, Matt and Dillon started the process.
Somehow, Matthew and I have managed to escape this dreaded illness. I have had many nauseous nights and days, but, thankfully, everything has stayed down.
Yesterday, after having a rough day, I told Matt we needed to go shopping. Cause yeah, apparently I like retail therapy! So we went to a mall and walked around. We bought Emmie her first pair of shoes. Can you believe that? No shoes till now. She isn't too fond of them, either. Can't say I blame her. I myself, hate shoes.
And now she is awake and crying, so I have to run.
Today is Matt's birthday. He's getting so old. A whole 32 years today. Why, he's practically ancient!
I feel I should sit and write something really great, but alas, my life is so boring right now.
Last Friday, Zachy and Collin started throwing up. It was such a pleasant day. They were done by Saturday, but still felt bad.
Sunday morning, Emmie started throwing up. Poor thing, she can't seem to catch a break lately.
She was done by Monday though.
Then Tuesday morning, Matt and Dillon started the process.
Somehow, Matthew and I have managed to escape this dreaded illness. I have had many nauseous nights and days, but, thankfully, everything has stayed down.
Yesterday, after having a rough day, I told Matt we needed to go shopping. Cause yeah, apparently I like retail therapy! So we went to a mall and walked around. We bought Emmie her first pair of shoes. Can you believe that? No shoes till now. She isn't too fond of them, either. Can't say I blame her. I myself, hate shoes.
And now she is awake and crying, so I have to run.
Today is Matt's birthday. He's getting so old. A whole 32 years today. Why, he's practically ancient!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Happy Birthday, Baby
Oh my, I feel so guilty about not posting this until today.
But guess what happened on Monday??
My wee little baby turned one year old! I so cannot believe that a year has already passed. She is walking all over the place and is just too cute for words.
So, what did we do for her birthday, you ask.
If you will recall, Phantom was on Sunday. Sunday morning at about 4 I woke up and could feel the heat coming off Emmie. Took her temp. 104. Poor punkin. We gave her meds and were able to get it down a bit. I was pretty nervous about leaving her while we went to the show. We've never left her before, and what a way to do it. She did fine though. And the show was great. We had such a good time. Poor Matt though, the guy sitting in front of him had a ginormous head. It blocked half the stage, so he and I spent the whole time leaned over to the right so he could see. But it was still so good.
We got home, and Emmie appeared to be doing really well. Her temp was down, and she was pretty chipper.
Later in the evening, we went to go grocery shopping. Halfway through I told Matt that we had to leave because I had to take Emmie to the ER. She was just so out of it and hot. I feared another UTI, and knew it would be impossible to get her seen the next day. Only this time I was smart. I took her to the army hospital instead of the air force hospital. For one thing, it's much closer to where we live, and for another, we wouldn't have to wait on all the basic trainees who get priority on base.
I got there about 9:30 and waited for an hour to be triaged. During this time, she fell asleep and kept spazzing out. It scared me and I was sure she was going to seize. Some folks were talking about the fact that they'd been there since 4 in the afternoon. When they took her to triage her I asked if they would please give her something to help with the wait. They took her temp and it was 105.3. They pretty much freaked. They gave her meds and sent us for a chest x-ray. She was also panting by then. Then they put us in the orthopedic room. They did urine tests, blood tests, flu tests, and an RSV test. It all came back negative. Her heart was beating really quickly, so they gave her fluids. Then they decided since they had no source for the fever, they would admit her. But guess what. The army hospital doesn't have a peds ward. So, at 3:30 in the morning, we went by amubulance back to the air force hospital. When we walked through the waiting room, I saw people still sitting there from 9:30.
We stayed the night there and they repeated some tests. All of which were still negative. At 3:30 in the afternoon, they discharged us. Her temp was between 101-102.
Since coming home, she has become very congested and today has a really bad cough. Yesterday, she had her follow up and they say it must just have been the beginning of an upper respiratory infection.
Last night, her fever was back, but today she seems to be pretty cool.
The nurses in the ER sang happy birthday to her after starting her IV. I will always remember that nurses in the ER sang to her first.
She is such a wonderful baby, and we love her so very much. I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by. I already miss my sweet tiny baby.
Happy birthday Emmie, we love you more than you can imagine.
But guess what happened on Monday??
My wee little baby turned one year old! I so cannot believe that a year has already passed. She is walking all over the place and is just too cute for words.
So, what did we do for her birthday, you ask.
If you will recall, Phantom was on Sunday. Sunday morning at about 4 I woke up and could feel the heat coming off Emmie. Took her temp. 104. Poor punkin. We gave her meds and were able to get it down a bit. I was pretty nervous about leaving her while we went to the show. We've never left her before, and what a way to do it. She did fine though. And the show was great. We had such a good time. Poor Matt though, the guy sitting in front of him had a ginormous head. It blocked half the stage, so he and I spent the whole time leaned over to the right so he could see. But it was still so good.
We got home, and Emmie appeared to be doing really well. Her temp was down, and she was pretty chipper.
Later in the evening, we went to go grocery shopping. Halfway through I told Matt that we had to leave because I had to take Emmie to the ER. She was just so out of it and hot. I feared another UTI, and knew it would be impossible to get her seen the next day. Only this time I was smart. I took her to the army hospital instead of the air force hospital. For one thing, it's much closer to where we live, and for another, we wouldn't have to wait on all the basic trainees who get priority on base.
I got there about 9:30 and waited for an hour to be triaged. During this time, she fell asleep and kept spazzing out. It scared me and I was sure she was going to seize. Some folks were talking about the fact that they'd been there since 4 in the afternoon. When they took her to triage her I asked if they would please give her something to help with the wait. They took her temp and it was 105.3. They pretty much freaked. They gave her meds and sent us for a chest x-ray. She was also panting by then. Then they put us in the orthopedic room. They did urine tests, blood tests, flu tests, and an RSV test. It all came back negative. Her heart was beating really quickly, so they gave her fluids. Then they decided since they had no source for the fever, they would admit her. But guess what. The army hospital doesn't have a peds ward. So, at 3:30 in the morning, we went by amubulance back to the air force hospital. When we walked through the waiting room, I saw people still sitting there from 9:30.
We stayed the night there and they repeated some tests. All of which were still negative. At 3:30 in the afternoon, they discharged us. Her temp was between 101-102.
Since coming home, she has become very congested and today has a really bad cough. Yesterday, she had her follow up and they say it must just have been the beginning of an upper respiratory infection.
Last night, her fever was back, but today she seems to be pretty cool.
The nurses in the ER sang happy birthday to her after starting her IV. I will always remember that nurses in the ER sang to her first.
She is such a wonderful baby, and we love her so very much. I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by. I already miss my sweet tiny baby.
Happy birthday Emmie, we love you more than you can imagine.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Good times
Yesterday, Matt had to stop at the BX to buy some stamps. They just opened a Starbucks there, and were having the grand opening. There were two full boxes of entries for a 46" Sharp Aquos LCD HDTV. Matt put his name in.
About an hour later, they called to say that he won the TV. He went and picked it up today. It's a thing of beauty I tell ya!
About an hour later, they called to say that he won the TV. He went and picked it up today. It's a thing of beauty I tell ya!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Fire Department Field Trip
Today we went on a field trip with other homeschoolers to the fire department. The kids had such a great time. The highlight of the day was spraying the hose. And since we were all headed home, they got to get soaked. The picture of Collin and Zachy I took while they were waiting for their turn to spray the hose. The wind would blow the water towards us, and I kept seeing them huddled together to stay dry. It didn't last long. All four of them were soaked by the time we left.
They also thought the fire truck was pretty cool. Everyone told me they want to be firemen now. Except for Collin, he wants to be a cowboy!
They also thought the fire truck was pretty cool. Everyone told me they want to be firemen now. Except for Collin, he wants to be a cowboy!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Fear
Today, as Emmie was sitting at Matthew's feet, bobbing up and down with her arms in the air, signalling him to pick her up, I was reminded of something.
After Zachy was born, we would ask the kids if they ever wanted another baby. Matthew's response was always a very hesitant yes. We would ask him why he hesitated, and he would tell us that he very much would like another baby in the family, but that he was afraid that the baby would be sick like Zachy.
And we were too. We let that fear grip us for quite awhile.
But then, I fell pregnant. And I was very frightened. I think people assume that we went into another baby completely lighthearted and carefree. In reality, nothing could have been further from the truth. We saw all the specialists I was supposed to see, and still, we were afraid. When I first went to the doctor, I was asked if I wanted to abort. Why? Because she was my fifth? I don't think so. When I first went in, I was a wreck. I told the doctor I was terrified, and wasn't sure if I was able to do this. But I never meant I wanted to abort. I had faith that no matter what was to be, God would carry us through. But still, I was afraid. I was afraid that I wouldn't like what it was God was about to carry us through. I was afraid that our lives would forever be changed. I was afraid our baby would die. I was afraid of seeing another baby in pain. I wasn't sure I could handle open heart surgery again, and I knew it wasn't the worst thing possible. I was afraid.
And I was afraid all throughout my pregnancy. You may remember me touring all the hospitals. All I was looking for was the NICU. How well they were equipped to handle my baby. It was something I could control, where this baby would be born.
And then she was born. All pink and perfect. All I said when she was born was, "she's pink" over and over. I sobbed. She was pink. And she cried. And suddenly, all was right in the world.
And then she was taken to the NICU because her breathing was labored. And everything they were telling me about her, was the same thing they had told me about Zachy. And I was afraid.
And now, in less than one week, that perfect pink baby, will be one year old. And she is perfect.
And I was watching how deeply she loves Matthew, and how deeply he loves her, and I was hit with this thought...you cannot let fear rule your life. If you do, you will miss out on some very wonderful things, and people.
I can't imagine life without our Emmie. And I know Matthew can't either. And had we let our fear run our lives, we wouldn't have her.
I need to learn to forever been leaning on the everlasting arms of my Lord. And then, the fear won't be there. I think I always try to take it back. I need to just give it. Because He always takes care of us. Even if something horrible had happened, He would carry us through.
After Zachy was born, we would ask the kids if they ever wanted another baby. Matthew's response was always a very hesitant yes. We would ask him why he hesitated, and he would tell us that he very much would like another baby in the family, but that he was afraid that the baby would be sick like Zachy.
And we were too. We let that fear grip us for quite awhile.
But then, I fell pregnant. And I was very frightened. I think people assume that we went into another baby completely lighthearted and carefree. In reality, nothing could have been further from the truth. We saw all the specialists I was supposed to see, and still, we were afraid. When I first went to the doctor, I was asked if I wanted to abort. Why? Because she was my fifth? I don't think so. When I first went in, I was a wreck. I told the doctor I was terrified, and wasn't sure if I was able to do this. But I never meant I wanted to abort. I had faith that no matter what was to be, God would carry us through. But still, I was afraid. I was afraid that I wouldn't like what it was God was about to carry us through. I was afraid that our lives would forever be changed. I was afraid our baby would die. I was afraid of seeing another baby in pain. I wasn't sure I could handle open heart surgery again, and I knew it wasn't the worst thing possible. I was afraid.
And I was afraid all throughout my pregnancy. You may remember me touring all the hospitals. All I was looking for was the NICU. How well they were equipped to handle my baby. It was something I could control, where this baby would be born.
And then she was born. All pink and perfect. All I said when she was born was, "she's pink" over and over. I sobbed. She was pink. And she cried. And suddenly, all was right in the world.
And then she was taken to the NICU because her breathing was labored. And everything they were telling me about her, was the same thing they had told me about Zachy. And I was afraid.
And now, in less than one week, that perfect pink baby, will be one year old. And she is perfect.
And I was watching how deeply she loves Matthew, and how deeply he loves her, and I was hit with this thought...you cannot let fear rule your life. If you do, you will miss out on some very wonderful things, and people.
I can't imagine life without our Emmie. And I know Matthew can't either. And had we let our fear run our lives, we wouldn't have her.
I need to learn to forever been leaning on the everlasting arms of my Lord. And then, the fear won't be there. I think I always try to take it back. I need to just give it. Because He always takes care of us. Even if something horrible had happened, He would carry us through.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Guess what this weekend is
Go on..guess...THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!
Oh my, I'm so excited.
My dad took me when I was in high school, and I really don't know how the traveling show will compare to the one we saw in LA, but I'm still really excited to be sharing it with Matt.
Oh my, I'm so excited.
My dad took me when I was in high school, and I really don't know how the traveling show will compare to the one we saw in LA, but I'm still really excited to be sharing it with Matt.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I have no idea what to title this post!
Zachary had an appointment with his electrophysiologist this past Wednesday. I meant to get on and post about it, but I woke up with mastitis Wednesday morning. By the time we got home my fever was climbing higher and higher. My whole body ached, even the joints in my toes ached. I was pretty miserable.
And trying to get into a doctor around here is really difficult. So, I started on some old antibiotics and hoped it wouldn't get worse.
By Thursday night my temp had climbed to 103 and I couldn't get it down. I also couldn't unplug the duct that was giving me all the problems. Matt said I needed to go to the ER, but there was no way I could drive there. I was so weak.
I tossed and turned all night and was just sweating through my jammies.
When I awoke, my temp was finally down. But I still hurt horribly. So I tried calling again for an appointment. I got the run around. Finally, I was given the number to OB triage, which is where the lactation consultant is. They told me to get to the ER.
I was able to leave all the kids with Matt in the afternoon, and finally get to the ER. They did an ultra sound and said the duct was NOT abcsessed, which is what I was afraid of because it wouldn't drain. That was great news. She started me on a stronger antibiotic with instructions to come back in 24 hours if I wasn't better.
After just one dose I was feeling so much better. I'm still sore, and my temp still goes to about 100 throughout the day, but there is improvement. YAY!
It was horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
So all of that to say that I didn't update about Zachy.
He's looking good. The pacemaker is working 95% of the time. Holy smokes that's alot. The doctor says he will lower the threshold at about 6 months in order to get the battery to last longer. How that will work is really too complicated to try to explain here, but it will actually be allowing one of his natural pacemakers to pick up some of the slack.
In a few weeks we get to use a machine that will send all the pacing info to the doctor over the phone. Zachy is super excited about this, and carried the machine around for days when it came in the mail.
Yesterday, was pathfinder and adventurer sabbath. Our kids all worked really hard and did such a great job. We were so proud of all of them. And when I say that, I'm not talkig about our 5 kids, but all the kids. We direct the club, so they're our kids!
Soon we will be moving onto planning VBS. Oh the fun never ends here!!
And trying to get into a doctor around here is really difficult. So, I started on some old antibiotics and hoped it wouldn't get worse.
By Thursday night my temp had climbed to 103 and I couldn't get it down. I also couldn't unplug the duct that was giving me all the problems. Matt said I needed to go to the ER, but there was no way I could drive there. I was so weak.
I tossed and turned all night and was just sweating through my jammies.
When I awoke, my temp was finally down. But I still hurt horribly. So I tried calling again for an appointment. I got the run around. Finally, I was given the number to OB triage, which is where the lactation consultant is. They told me to get to the ER.
I was able to leave all the kids with Matt in the afternoon, and finally get to the ER. They did an ultra sound and said the duct was NOT abcsessed, which is what I was afraid of because it wouldn't drain. That was great news. She started me on a stronger antibiotic with instructions to come back in 24 hours if I wasn't better.
After just one dose I was feeling so much better. I'm still sore, and my temp still goes to about 100 throughout the day, but there is improvement. YAY!
It was horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
So all of that to say that I didn't update about Zachy.
He's looking good. The pacemaker is working 95% of the time. Holy smokes that's alot. The doctor says he will lower the threshold at about 6 months in order to get the battery to last longer. How that will work is really too complicated to try to explain here, but it will actually be allowing one of his natural pacemakers to pick up some of the slack.
In a few weeks we get to use a machine that will send all the pacing info to the doctor over the phone. Zachy is super excited about this, and carried the machine around for days when it came in the mail.
Yesterday, was pathfinder and adventurer sabbath. Our kids all worked really hard and did such a great job. We were so proud of all of them. And when I say that, I'm not talkig about our 5 kids, but all the kids. We direct the club, so they're our kids!
Soon we will be moving onto planning VBS. Oh the fun never ends here!!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The story about Matthew
I promised you a story about Matthew!
So without further ado.....
Thursday night, the youth of our church had a dinner for the couples. It was a fundraiser and the kids were the servers and hostesses.
Several kids were assigned more than one table.
Matthew, however, was assigned one.
When I looked in, I saw that he was assigned to Sandra's table.
Sandra is an elderly lady, who is nearly blind.
I think she tries to appear not so blind at church, because she will open the hymn book and hold it right up to her face. But Matt has seen it upside down on more than one occasion.
Matthew told me afterwards that he only had her table, and that he helped her read the menu, and when he brought her the food, he told her where on her plate different items were.
Then he said, "when I first was assigned to her, I thought, "oh no, why her??" but then I realized that she was really, really nice"
Now you have to understand that Matthew is pretty shy. And I was concerned about him getting her table. I wasn't sure how he would be able to handle it, because she is a talker too.
When he said that, I was so proud. I told him that I thought God had put him with Sandra on purpose, because none of the other kids could understand what it was like to have no vision. I imagine her vision is as good as Matthew's bad eye. And he was able to empathize with her.
I'm not sure many of the other kids would have had the compassion to read to her and help her out like he did. And he ended up learning such a valuable lesson.
He makes me so proud.
So without further ado.....
Thursday night, the youth of our church had a dinner for the couples. It was a fundraiser and the kids were the servers and hostesses.
Several kids were assigned more than one table.
Matthew, however, was assigned one.
When I looked in, I saw that he was assigned to Sandra's table.
Sandra is an elderly lady, who is nearly blind.
I think she tries to appear not so blind at church, because she will open the hymn book and hold it right up to her face. But Matt has seen it upside down on more than one occasion.
Matthew told me afterwards that he only had her table, and that he helped her read the menu, and when he brought her the food, he told her where on her plate different items were.
Then he said, "when I first was assigned to her, I thought, "oh no, why her??" but then I realized that she was really, really nice"
Now you have to understand that Matthew is pretty shy. And I was concerned about him getting her table. I wasn't sure how he would be able to handle it, because she is a talker too.
When he said that, I was so proud. I told him that I thought God had put him with Sandra on purpose, because none of the other kids could understand what it was like to have no vision. I imagine her vision is as good as Matthew's bad eye. And he was able to empathize with her.
I'm not sure many of the other kids would have had the compassion to read to her and help her out like he did. And he ended up learning such a valuable lesson.
He makes me so proud.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Have I mentioned?
Have I mentioned that Emily is walking all over the place? Sure, she still falls, and thinks that crawling is much better. But she is indeed walking. How can this be? The boys all were at least a year old, with Matthew being the earliest walker. He took his first steps on his birthday.
The horrible thing is, I cannot remember what day she started. How can I record something I don't remember? Maybe I'll just fudge it in the baby book. I'll forget by next year anyway!
I have a great story to tell you about Matthew, but it will have to wait until a decent hour. It's midnight here, and I need to get to bed to be up for church in the morning.
The horrible thing is, I cannot remember what day she started. How can I record something I don't remember? Maybe I'll just fudge it in the baby book. I'll forget by next year anyway!
I have a great story to tell you about Matthew, but it will have to wait until a decent hour. It's midnight here, and I need to get to bed to be up for church in the morning.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Trees
I love the trees in Texas. Especially this time of year. I don't particularly care for them when they have leaves because the leaves are all really puny. But at this time, I love them. I think they have such character. All bendy and knobby. They all seem like halloween trees, if halloween had trees. No, they aren't the pine trees I'm so used to, but they have a uniqueness all their own.
Usually, these trees are just full of Grackles, and I have really come to enjoy their calls, as well.
Matt thinks I'm nuts for liking the sound of these birds, they sound a bit like crows, only not. And I'm sure he'll also think I'm crazy for dedicating an entire entry to the trees.
They are just so beautiful.
Usually, these trees are just full of Grackles, and I have really come to enjoy their calls, as well.
Matt thinks I'm nuts for liking the sound of these birds, they sound a bit like crows, only not. And I'm sure he'll also think I'm crazy for dedicating an entire entry to the trees.
They are just so beautiful.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Just the facts please
Today is Congenital Heart Defect awareness day. Here are some facts you need to know.
~~1 in 85 babies in the US will be born with a CHD. This does NOT include the babies who are lost during pregnancy.
~~CHDs are the most common type of birth defect, and the #1 cause of DEATH from a birth defect
~~CHDS are 2 times as likely and kill 2 times as many children as cancer EVERY YEAR
~~ There are 35 known types of CHDs
~~Most Drs believe that CHD is a genetic defect, but new research shows that mothers who take antidepressants and painkillers while pregnant raise the risk of CHD by 3 times.
~~Many children born with a CHD will not live to see their first birthday
~~CHDs are not always found at birth. Some are found years later. And sometimes after death, when it is too late.
~~CHD can NOT be cured. The heart will NEVER be normal. It must be treated for life.
~~Only one penny of every dollar donated to the American Heart Association goes towards pediatric cardiology research.
So many people do not know about CHDs...it doesn't make the news like cancer does. Why is this? The word needs to get out so that research can be done. Zachy's surgery has only been performed for about 40 years. So much can happen in the future, but research needs to be done!!
Hug your children today, and thank God for their hearts...even if they are special hearts.
~~1 in 85 babies in the US will be born with a CHD. This does NOT include the babies who are lost during pregnancy.
~~CHDs are the most common type of birth defect, and the #1 cause of DEATH from a birth defect
~~CHDS are 2 times as likely and kill 2 times as many children as cancer EVERY YEAR
~~ There are 35 known types of CHDs
~~Most Drs believe that CHD is a genetic defect, but new research shows that mothers who take antidepressants and painkillers while pregnant raise the risk of CHD by 3 times.
~~Many children born with a CHD will not live to see their first birthday
~~CHDs are not always found at birth. Some are found years later. And sometimes after death, when it is too late.
~~CHD can NOT be cured. The heart will NEVER be normal. It must be treated for life.
~~Only one penny of every dollar donated to the American Heart Association goes towards pediatric cardiology research.
So many people do not know about CHDs...it doesn't make the news like cancer does. Why is this? The word needs to get out so that research can be done. Zachy's surgery has only been performed for about 40 years. So much can happen in the future, but research needs to be done!!
Hug your children today, and thank God for their hearts...even if they are special hearts.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
