Good Day

Today's a good day. I'm down 4 1/2 pounds. GO ME!
I made it through a very hard Richard last night. Matt even asked me if I wanted to quit after a particularly hard song. But I persevered.
I have a new goal in mind.
We are going to Washington/Idaho this summer. The month is undecided right now (Michelle, when are you coming here?) but I was thinking that if we went in July, and I lost 2 pounds a week, I could lose 40 pounds by then.
So that's the goal up on the ticker up there. Forty more pounds. But for me, I'm breaking it down into little goals. Right now I have 3 more to go to get to my first goal, which is to break a 10...for instance right now I am _ _ 2.5 so I want to be _ _ 9.5 Understand? Good, I knew you would.
In completely different news. Today is payday. It is exciting and scary all at the same time. We have a plan to be virtually debt free in 3 years. This includes all credit cards and the van paid off. Of course, it doesn't include those pesky student loans, or Matt's car. So, to do this, we must live on a budget. So we start today. EEK. Totally new territory for us.
Anyway, good things must come of it, like a trip this summer. Albeit, not to Disneyland, but family will have to do. ;-)

I need some input please..

Matt has a hard time getting my blog up. So does my grandma. My mom claims my comments gave her a virus, which I don't even think is feasable..
Anyway, is it just them? Do you all have a hard time accessing it? Should I look into moving to a different blog hosting spot?
Please, let me know...

Getting better

Zachy's foot must be getting better. He is walking now. Limping, but walking.
This morning he had forgotten that it was hurt and went to stand up. Oh my, he howled. Poor thing.
Last night, I would just touch the ball of his foot and he would whimper.
Right now, he, Collin, and Dillon are out drawing with sidewalk chalk. It is beautiful again today. Matthew's still doing school work.
We are having a water issue. We were getting Culligan water delivered. Except it was costing us an arm and a leg. There is a self help store on base that gives you free stuff for your house. One of those things is a culligan water filter. So, we decided we would just pop that baby on, and cancel our service.
OH. MY. GOODNESS. Our water is terrible. It tastes so bad. Even filtered, no one wants to drink it. I feel like we will all get montazuma's revenge, it's that bad. I'm trying to think of our best option, what I mean is our cheapest option.
Here are the things I've come up with:
1. We could just go buy bottle wal mart water. This is a pretty cheap answer. Twenty of their 20 oz bottles is only $4.
2. Get those gallon jugs and take them in to be filled everytime we go to the store.
3. See about renting the dispenser only, which is $11 and getting the 5 gallon water jugs and filling those at wally world. This would be cheaper than getting the culligan water delivered, but the most expensive of the choices, I think. To fill one 5 gallon jug is $1.30.
I just don't know. I guess it comes down to math, and I need to figure it out.
We've decided that we need to tighten our belts. We want to be able to head up north this summer to visit family. OK, so I want to go to Disneyland, but Matt insists it would better to spend our money to see our family. I suppose he's right. ;-) I'm kidding of course. Partly. OK, maybe not. ;-)
ANYWAY...must tighten belts...which brings the water issue. What to do....

Busy Busy

Today has been so busy. We cleaned from like 11 this morning till 5 this evening. Nice, deep cleaning. I love when my house is nice and clean. It feels so much more inviting. Yes, I know that is something simple to maintain, I just fail miserably at it.
So this week, we get to start off in a spotless house. Yippee!!
Zachy was just doing something, we're not sure what since we were in the other room, and hurt his foot/ankle. Again, not really sure which he hurt. But I heard a thud and a high pitched scream. Not anything like an, 'I'm mad' scream or anything, but a pained scream. He is now limping. And we have no idea what is wrong. He cries every now and again and points to his foot. Right now, Matt is icing it. Hopefully, that does the trick.
It was a beautiful day, and the perfect temperature to have all the windows open airing out the place. Things feel new, somehow.
I knew when I wrote about my feelings last night, that I would have to hear opinions. And I did. And it's ok. I am married to someone who doesn't believe in depression, so it makes it that much harder. He, and other people who don't think it is real, have obviously never bore the weight that I do. No, I'm not crying all day long. Yes, I get up and function. That doesn't change the fact that with everything that happens there is a suffocating weight.
It isn't because I haven't prayed hard enough about it. It isn't something that I can just say, "ok, I'm done with this, time to be happy". Don't you think if I could, I would? If you've never been here, you couldn't possibly understand. And that's ok. I just need to figure out where I am right now. I'm sure the answer is that I will go on every day, like I always do. I won't seek any help, because honestly, I don't have time for that. And this will be a fleeting entry, never spoken of again.
We have nothing planned this week. It should be a nice lazy week. Although we do have speech and occupational therapies. But they come here, so it's all good.
I'm sitting on an exercise ball right now, that is quite deflated. I blew it up yesterday, and it is concerning that it is so flat right now. I hope there isn't a hole in it somewhere. Yep, that was a vital piece of info that you all needed to know.
OK, I'm done rambling. I'll talk later...

Is it really the end of January?

After writing that last post I went to weather.com to check out the forecast for today.
It is supposed to be 81 degrees here today. Thursday, it's supposed to be 89. Holy cow.
When we first got here, everyone said, "oh it gets cold here, January and February are our cold months" And admittedly there have been some days when it was like 50, but my goodness, this is strange!

Interesting

Let me first start by saying, I need to rename my blog. I need to name it, "I'm going to offend everyone in the world at some point or another, so you might as well not read"
I don't mean to offend anyone by this post. I'm just simply stating that it is very different from what we do. Does that make it bad, not necessarily. The important thing is that we all do what works for us. This is just simply an observation I've made.
Last night, with Matt's ipod money, he decided to take us out to dinner and a movie and then take some of his spending money for February to make up the difference for the ipod.
So, we went to an all you can eat pizza place. We didn't know it was all you can eat at the time, we just knew they have good pizza. It was a steal, let me tell ya. $3.99 per person, and Zach was free. Not bad.
Anyway, I'm getting off topic here.
While we were there, a family with 3 girls and a baby boy came in and sat behind us. Mom was slinging baby when they came in. We started talking a bit and I asked if they homeschooled. Yes, they did.
Why would I even ask this? Well, because I've noticed something over the years. It seems that those of us with "large" families tend to homeschool. Why? Because we enjoy our kids, and their company. It seems like the families with one or two kids say all summer, "can't wait for school to start, these kids are making me bonkers"
I always have loads of people say, "oh I bet you can't wait till they're all in school". Nothing could be farther from true. I dread the day they are all in school, if that day ever comes.
What I don't understand is why people even have kids if they don't really enjoy being with them. Is it because that is what we do? As Americans we have 2.5 children. It's expected of us, to keep the family name going.
I'm not saying this applies to everyone who puts their kids in school, because it certainly doesn't. It's just something I've noticed over the years. Because you would think it would be the opposite. The families with lots of kids would be the ones that can't wait for school to start to get the kids out of their hair. But it doesn't seem to be that way.
We've noticed the lack of family, oh...not values...what is the word I'm looking for?
OK, since we've been here, we have found out that we are the only family who actually sit down and eat dinner together. The kids have one little friend who comes over and eats with us, and it breaks my heart because she never gets that at home. Her mom has told me that she(daughter) has her own life and they rarely talk, if at all. The girl is 7. Her dad just came home from Iraq. We have yet to see mom and dad actually together since he got home, and daughter and son are never inside with dad. In fact, daughter came knocking this morning at 9 to play. The kids were still in jammies, and we were still in bed. Matt said to me,"how about spending some time with your dad?" Which is exactly true. He's been gone for 4 months, and yet there is no time spent together. Things go on as normal. It is truly odd to me.
So what's happening to today's family? Why don't they enjoy each other's company? Is it because it is expected to send the kiddies to school, where they are for 7 hours a day, then put them in sports to eat up more time. By the time there is actually time to spend together, we don't know what to do with each other, and it breaks into too much of my time? I don't know.
It's just all really really strange to me.....
Again, this is not meant to offend, just an observation. There are definitely exceptions and people whose kids are in school and parents work are still perfectly capable of having a good family. Matt and I had to get our values from somewhere and we were both in school with working parents. And we both had dinner with our families every night. It can be done. I just see it getting less and less in this world..

Some cute stories

Little background here. Long ago, my mother in law was taking a walk with Matthew. He was 2 at the time. She showed him a flower, then sniffed it, and went "ah ah AH CHOO!"
From that, he identified her as "ah-choo grandma" So, that is what they are called, ah-choo grandma and grandpa. My mom and her hubby are "regular grandma and grandpa" Which, by the way, is just as funny as the ah-choo thing.
Ok so on with the stories.

Collin was sitting with me, pushing on my belly. He giggled and said, "you have a fat tummy like ah-choo grandma and ah-choo grandpa"
Oh my, we were cracking up. Nothing like having your kid tell you that you are fat though!

~*~*~*~*

We had to go fax some documents today, and knew the kids would be upset to hear that. So when we were in the car, Dillon asks where we are going. As usual, when we know they will complain, I answer, "crazy" Dillon says, "mommy, you can only use that with little kids" Matt and I laugh and say, "but you are a little kid" He says, "nooo, I'm not" We ask what he is and he said, "I'm a grown-up, I mean a teenager" We were in stitches, and had to inform him that he was a big kid, but that we were still going crazy.

I had some more, but as usual, I can't remember them. But I can tell you this, which has nothing to do with anything, I got my ipod money back today. WOOHOO!!! I so cannot believe it. The guy was really late, and I had to threaten him with jail, but it came today. YIPPEE!!!

In A Funk

I've been in a funk lately. A journaling funk. A funk in general. I don't even really know what to write here tonight, but I said I would do this religiously so I'm going to write. I honestly don't know where this post will go, what it will be about, we'll have to see.
I don't quite know what is wrong with me. Let me try to explain it. I don't feel like I want to crawl in a hole and hide all the time, but I do feel like a cloud just looms over my head. It makes me cranky. My kids get the worst of it. I hate that. I hate that stuff irritates me that really shouldn't. I walk around feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and to be honest, I haven't the foggiest idea what to do about it.
I have prayed so hard. I have given it to God, and yet, apparently, I don't let go all the way, because it is still there. Looming. Always.
Sure, I have happy moments. But I want to feel happy all the time. I remember Dr Laura always getting upset with people for saying they weren't 'comfortable'. She would say that isn't life. That we live life and have really happy moments within it. That you can't just be happy all the time. Which is fine. I can live with that. I just want the stupid weight off my shoulders. I want to breathe.
I love my kids more than life itself, and yet, I always ask myself, "do you do enough to show it? do they think you love them?" It is never enough. Nothing in my life is ever enough. I always want more. Primarily, more family. I have this notion that if I just keep having kids, I'll somehow finally feel more complete. Which sounds absolutely terrible. It makes it sound like my kids just aren't good enough. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. I just want more.
My dear confindante in Idaho insists that I need drugs. I am trying to counteract the depression with exercise. Only, I'm not succeeding with my 5 nights a week plan too well. There is always something that comes up. I've met with good ole Richard 3 times this week. Exercise is supposed to release those feel good hormones, so is sun. So I sit out on my porch looking towards the sun. The other thing is that breastfeeding releases feel good hormones, so I should be all set. And yet...the weight...
I so don't want to do antidepressants. I've been there, done that. I hated zoloft and never really felt any difference with Welbutrin. Those are about the 2 you can take while nursing. And I just don't want to be dependent on them the rest of my life.
Depression is definitely an inherited thing in my family. I'm told it goes pretty far back. I just wonder why it had to hit me. I have nothing to be depressed about. Which drives me bonkers. My life is truly great. But there's the cloud. Always the cloud.
Do you remember, many years ago, there was a 7up commercial. There would be someone with a backpack, and a 7up in the backpack, and it would be raining on them, wherever they went. This cloud followed. Because 7up was that refreshing.
That's how I feel. That lone cloud just looms about me.
I didn't mean for this to totally turn into a depression post. I usually keep this all to myself and my Idahoan confidante. I always worry that people will think I am unfit to have my kids. But really, it isn't like I can't get out of bed, or like I hurt them. I just have the cloud. And I just feel like I don't do enough for them. So that's not too bad.
I'm feeling really vulnerable now, and I don't know how long I'll leave this post up. I may take it down tomorrow....

Heartwarming

There are 3 men in our little living area who have been deployed to Iraq. They all left soon after we got here, and they all came home today. Yay! It is nice to see that. All the kids are so excited to see their dads. War stinks.
As for me, today has been a rough day. And I don't quite know why. I've been moody all day, and the little things set me off. Zach is napping now, and the other three are at the park, I should be doing something productive. But I'm not. And the sound of the dog whining to go out is bugging the tar out of me. UGH!!

Another Date

I just finished another date with good ole Richard Simmons.
I have to tell you, I have loads of his videos and I always go back to my favorite, Disco Sweat . I really like this one for several reasons. One, because it is the easiest one I have, once I get in better shape I'll move on to Dance Your Pants Off and Sweatin to the Oldies 3. Secondly, this video concentrates on your whole body. He has several video sets, where you work your upper body one day, your lower body the next, but I like having it all together. Thirdly, well, I like the music. *blush* Sue me.
I'm having a little problem though, that someone may be able to help me with. My inner calves are killing me. They do this when I simply walk as well. Am I not stretching them enough? Am I just really out of shape and when I get in better shape they'll stop hurting? It's wierd. You would think that, that part of my body carries all the weight around, so it would be in better shape. I guess it also takes the brunt of it when I'm dancing around, huh? Anyway, if you have any suggestions to ease the pain, I'd appreciate it.
I was thinking of some stuff while I was exercising tonight. The song, I will Survive is on there, and at one point Richard says, "You will survive." And it got me thinking, I need to do this to survive. I really do. I mean, what if I die of heart disease? How crazy would it be if my 2 day old baby can survive heart disease, and then, because I'm lazy, I end up dying from it?? That can't happen. So, I say this, "I WILL survive" I'm doing this this time.
I did really well today. I stuck with my diet and then exercised. Yay me.
Now I need to go to bed because Zach has been there since 9:30 and if he follows the 8 hour trend, he'll be in my bed by 5:30, that leaves 6 hours for me. And I need to shower.
Good night everyone

Letter to the kids

I was sent this letter that a mom wrote to her CHD child. I'd like to change the name and use it for M,C, andZ. So here it is.

Dear Matthew, Collin, and Zachy,



When you want to scream, "Why me?" remember that this "difference" is a
gift. God has allowed you the opportunity to be an example to many
others.



He has allowed you the chance to see others who are in need, and
because you
must go a little slower, you can take the time to reach out to them and
welcome them to come along.



He has given you the chance to create your own dance and be your own
person.
You have learned that it is okay to be who you are and that "you" are a
very
wonderful person to be.



He has given you friends who walk beside you and cheer you on.



He has given you family who will carry you whenever you are in need.



Why you? Who else could teach me to hold tightly to my children,
because
they are not really mine. They have only been loaned to me until their
heavenly Father receives them home.



Who else could teach me to tell others they are loved because tomorrow
may
not come.



Who else could show me that despite my selfishness, selflessness does
exist
within me. I would quickly and gladly take this suffering from you and
make
it my own.



You have given, you have taught, you have loved.



Why you? Because God knows your strength, your beauty, your joy. He
knows
that you can carry this cross, when there are many others who could
not. He
knows in His heart that you can handle the differences in yours. He
knows
that you could take this blessing and bring others to Him because of
it.
You are an angel given a delicate package.



So, whenever you say the words, "Why me?" do so with reverence and awe.
For
God has chosen you - with love.

Oh, and one more thing...

The detective called me back and says that I should have my money on Wednesday. The guy is supposed to overnight it on Tuesday.
If I don't get it, they go arrest him.
Let's hope they scared him enough to get my money back.
And if I do, I'm not sure I can ever use an auction place again. This has been a BAD experience. I think Ebay would be better though.
Stupid Overstock.com auctions. No protection for their buyers, AT ALL.

Wow...two nights in a row!!

Zachy slept all night again last night. Well from 12-8, but still that's 8 hours of solid sleep for me. I'll take it! Collin stayed in bed too. In fact, he's still asleep. Must have been tired.
Matt really hurt his back yesterday, helping with the move. So I didn't exercise last night. He said I could have, and he would have just recorded Crossing Jordan, but he was pretty miserable. So instead, I spend the evening printing out old journal entries, for a private journal I've had. I managed to make it through 2004. So someday, I'll catch up with 2005, and then I will work on this new blog. I should really keep up on this. Dillon asked me what it was last night, and I told him that someday, he could read it, and see just how much I love them. He said, "that whole thing is about US??" I said, "yep, pretty much" That thrilled him to no end.
And I do love them, so much. I was thinking this morning that I'm so lucky to have kids that make me laugh! I don't even remember what happened, but Zachy was cracking me up.
Speaking of cracking up, last night when I laid down with Zach to get him to sleep, he just started giggling. It was so funny. I have no idea why he was giggling, but it was cute. Then he started blowing raspberries on me, instead of nursing, so we got up and did dishes. But it was pretty funny.
Anyway, I have to run and help with school. Collin just woke up, (and looks like he grew a foot overnight) and needs breakfast.
Have a great day!

Good night = Good day

Matt and I had a date with Richard last night.
I love Richard. He makes me work hard, and when I get tired I tell him, "for you, Richard, I'll keep going" He makes my legs quiver. I like Richard.
OK, get your minds out of the gutter. I'm talking about Richard Simmons. Duh! And I really do like him. Even though he annoys most mankind, I like him alot. I want to be like him, actually. Richard has such a love for all humankind. And that energy! Oh my! What I wouldn't give for energy like that.
Anyway, Matt and I danced the night away with him. It's been a long time since I've exercised like that, and I made it through the whole tape. I worked muscles I had forgotten about long ago. And, believe it or not, I did all the crunches, I huffed and puffed, but made it through.
I am hoping to do some kind of exercise at least 5 days a week. Wish me luck. My first goal is to lose 7 pounds by valentine's day. We'll see! HA!
Last night I also set up a humidifier in the boys's room to help with the dryness. Also, to try and keep it warmer in there. Yep, it's cool right now. Today's high is the low 60s. Which I know is mild, but at night it's chilly. And their room doesn't heat up very well.
Anyway, Zachy and Collin stayed in their beds ALL NIGHT! I think that is the first time they have both stayed in their beds. Zachy came into our bed at 8 this morning. Which meant that I slept, uninterrupted from 12-8! What a difference that makes. I feel so refreshed. Sore, but refreshed!
Anyway, we're off. Matt is helping some people move today, and we are going to their house. The people that we went hiking with last week, actually. They decided enough living in a motorhome, they're renting a house till theirs is built. I understand completely!

The light just went on..

I just spent the last hour working on adjectives with Matthew.
He was having one heck of a time.
The light just went on. I'm so happy for him. He is thrilled with himself.
This is the part about homeschooling that is great. Had he been in school he may have just fallen through the cracks. Now he gets it, and it's cause of me, *snicker*

Happenings

Well, there is currently a detective at my good ole ipod seller's house. If he doesn't pay up, I have to write out a statement and then they go arrest him. Great. The detective said if that happens I won't get my money. GRRRRRRR Creep!!
In other news, our kids were approved through TriCare to be able to see a civilian doctor! I am SO happy!! What a load off it is to not have to deal with the other doctors who have no clue about our past from one visit to the other. Happy Day!

Dying to know...

Who left that last comment to Matt about no kids? It had me cracking up. So..who was it?? HMMMM??? Please do tell!

Movie Review Time

Time to give you some of my opinions on different movies. Aren't you lucky??
The Perfect Man is a cute movie. We enjoyed it, although it isn't what I expected. It is rated PG, and would have been fine for the kids, but mine wouldn't have been interested in it. It may be more of a chick flick. But it was clean and funny and heartwarming.
Herbie: Fully Loaded I love this movie. We saw it in the theaters and then again this month. It is really good. It made me cry both times, but I'm a major sap. Great for my older kids. Collin and Zach were a bit bored with it, but they're little. Good family movie.
The March of the Penguins Oh My, we just finished this movie. Has there ever been a bird as remarkable as the emperor penguin? Matt was bored with this movie, but the kids and I loved it. It was a bit sad, but it was real life. Some chicks just don't make it through the winter, and some adults do get eaten by leopard seals. It's sad, but reality. This movie will open your eyes to a whole new world. And let me say that people who think this all happens do to evolution need their stuffing examined. These guys are so precise, and it is precision necessary for survival, it has to be a God thing. It's very educational and entertaining. I think we may buy this movie.
Kronk's New Groove The kids loved this movie. I didn't think it was nearly as good as The Emperor's New Groove, although it did teach a good lesson on being happy with who you are and not caring what other people think of you. I'd say it is just okay. Not great, but not too bad.
There you have it, our recently watched movies. Aren't you glad? ;-)

Some pictures

These are just some random pictures I thought I'd post.

This is Dillon at a corn maze this year.



Matthew with a Sea World otter, it was halloween which is why the otter is dressed up like a jailbird.



Matthew messing around on the keyboard.



Collin after a river ride at Sea World.

Just some more random pics

Here's my Zachy pooh



Collin



One of our Christmas card choices, I liked this one alot, I just couldn't get it cropped right.



I also liked this one.



This is Zach not wanting his picture taken.

Cookies

I'm baking cookies. I started to make them so that I could eat the dough. How sad is that?
Everytime I make cookies using Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips I remeber the Friends episode where Phoebe wants to give Monica her secret family cookie recipe. Only a fire burned the recipe up and so they try to figure it out. Come to find out, it was the Nestle Tollhouse recipe all along. Makes me laugh.

Dill plays too many card games

Last night, Dillon came into our room, half asleep still. He is obviously confused and said, "mommy..do I...do I" I said, "do you what?" He looks at me and says, "do I have to draw two?"
Oh my goodness, it was hilarious. The boy has been playing too many games of Uno and Zigity.

Tangram fun

Today, we played with tangram blocks. The kids had loads of fun, and I was able to get some chores done. Hooray for tangram blocks!

Collin started the fun.



Then Dillon joined in.



Before long, Matthew had started creating, only he pulled out the mirrors.



I especially like Dillon's



Zachy even had fun stacking the blocks



But he soon became bored.

Froggy

This is one of the toads. It's Matthew's and his name is Beans.
I love this picture, he is handing it to Zachy. I just wish the frog was clearer.



Doesn't Sadie look sad? She wanted so badly to eat that frog!

They call me the yo-yo man

Dill got a yo-yo for christmas. He's been practicing mighty hard, and is getting the hang of it. The funny thing is that he is too short, so has to stand on something high, like the arm of the couch!



Up it goes



This picture cracks me up. He is just like his Daddy, when he concentrates, his tongue automatically comes out.




Success!!



Then Zachy wanted a turn...only he has no clue what to do.



At least he figured out he had to be high to do it!

Collin's funny faces

I always seem to catch the funniest looks on Collin's face.

MMMMMM Chocolate!!!

This is what happens when you don't eat chocolate fast enough!




What better way to clean up than a dog bath??

A couple of random thoughts

I keep forgetting to write stuff down.
After we went hiking, the other boys there pulled out a B.B. gun and were shooting at little half cans. They all kept missing.
Matthew nailed it. My child who can only see out of his left eye, nailed. it. Now think about this. When you hold the gun, it is up against your right shoulder, you look through your right eye. Matthew had to hold it at his right shoulder, then move is head clear over to look through with the left eye. I was so proud.
Shoot, I was thinking of something else this morning, and now I can't remember what that was. If I think of it, I'll come write it down.

Ponderings

I am sure this entry will be all over the place, please forgive me.
It feels like rain. I'm in a mood where I just wish the sky would open up and pour and wash the world clean. It just feels like everything needs to be washed clean, so it can start over.
I guess that is what the new year is for. But honestly, I am having such a hard time realizing that it even is a new year. Normally, this time comes in the middle of winter, and the world is dead. After the new year, you have the rebirth of life to look forward to. That's tough when nothing around you actually dies. This no season stuff is for the birds.
Apparently so, since this is a place with birds like we have never seen before. The power lines will be one solid line of ugly black birds. The rooftops are covered with them. It is unreal.
So, there really is no spring to look forward to. I wonder, actually, if there are any bulbs planted in my flower bed out back. That would be nice. If not, maybe I'll plant some next fall. But who knows if that will be worth it.
The city has plans to take over our housing and make freeways through here. The timeline is anywhere from within the next 2 years to sometime before 2011. The point is, if they are going to tear these down, why bother planting anything?
Our sister in law, Gina, lost her mom this morning. She had a terrible fight with cancer, and she lost. The cancer was so aggressive it just took over her entire body.
My heart is breaking for Gina. And Tim. And Tj. And the bean in her belly yet to be born. Gina's mom was such a wonderful person and it is a shame her grandkids will never know that for themselves.
We are sad. We loved her too. When we left Idaho, we knew when we said goodbye, that it would probably be the last goodbye. It's just so so sad. She just turned 50.
Pray that Gina and her family can find peace and understanding in all this. They'll need all the prayers they can get.
The baby across the street is in the hospital with RSV. He was in all last week, came home Friday, and was re-admitted Friday night. He was born sometime after Christmas.
It's just crazy, this thing we call life. So full of ups and downs. Highs and lows. One minute you can be so high, the next your life comes crashing down around you.
That's how it was when Zachy was born. We were so happy when he was born. On cloud nine, the next thing we knew he was on oxygen and life would change forever.
Crazy. I guess the old adage is true, life truly isn't fair.
I know I said I was getting over the hump, but so much I just feel like there is a black cloud following me. I feel I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I think I'm probably depressed, and just have glimpses of sunshine out of my hole. It is a slipper slope, this depression business. Maybe I'm just blah. I don't know, I just wish I were that carefree kid I used to be.
I'm worried about Matt. He has constant headaches. He is always wiped out and just so blah. He won't go to the doctor. It scares me, I don't think it is normal to have headaches so bad every single day. We did a migraine questionaire thing, and one of the questions was, 'how long does your headache last?' How do you answer that when the headache never goes away?
He'll probably be mad at me for writing this here. But I don't care. Maybe if some of you comment and tell him he needs to go to the doctor, he'll listen. Doubtful, but maybe.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's insanely dry here. Who would have thought that Texas would be so dry? This summer it was quite humid. But now it is dry. It is killing our skin. My poor kids. Collin has an eczema type rash on his whole body. We've been putting cream and medicine on it. Matthew has patches on his back and belly. At first we thought it was chicken pox because they are just spots. But I think it is really dry skin. Zach has a dry spot on his arm, and Dillon's inner elbows are terrible. Who knew?

Our day

Today the kids did the church service. It was cute. Matthew had a part to read, and then they all sang a song. Matthew had a one line solo in it and did awesome. I was so proud.
We then were invited over to some friends' land to go hiking.
Oh my goodness.
They bought this land and are going to build on it, but right now it is FULL of trees and prickly bushes! It would have been fine except that Zach and Collin were so afraid to walk on the wobbly rocks, so we had to carry them both the whole time.
Let me just tell you that walking down the side of a hill is much easier than walking up that same hill! Whew. We were beat.
At one point a bunch of people went over to a different spot and Matt and I took Collin and Zach back to a clearing. We sat down, and as I was sitting, I put my hand right on a tiny cactus that was hiding under leaves. I filled my hand with tiny hair-like stickers that must have had like burs on the end or something because when I went to pull them out, they just broke! I still have some in my hand, but there is nothing to pull on to get them out, so I figure they'll work themselves out.
I have to say that Texas vegetaion is not pretty. The trees and everything are just ugly. We were in a ton of sage brush and apparently cedar trees. But it's just icky looking.
On our way home we had to make the kids all happy. We stopped and got them each their own frog. They are pretty cute.
Matthew named his "Beans" after the frog in Cheaper By The Dozen. Dillon's is "green dot" because he has a green spot on his back. Collin's is Alvin, and Zachy's is Fat Albert. Remind me not to let them name any of my kids! Yep, they're cute alright. Sometime I'll take a picture to share, but tonight I'm beat.
I think yesterday I told Matt that our family hadn't been sick in a long time. Whoops. Today, Dillon and Zachy are sick. Just with colds. And Collin started coughing tonight. I'm praying that Dill's stays just a simple cold. He's breathing pretty hard and has had two breathing treatments already.
I don't know what it is with that kid, but when he gets sick, it goes right to his lungs. He's never had pneumonia or anything like that, but he always has a real hard time breathing. In fact, he is the reason we even own a nebulizer.
I just hope it stays a nice simple cold.
Anyway, I'm off to relax, but I had to tell you about the frogs. Matt says we are just starting Dill's zoo for him. He has said he is going to own a zoo when he grows up forever. The best part is that it is going to be next door to my house! And there will be manatees that I get to work with. And Matt gets to check the hearing of the elephants AND he gets to clean the crocodile's teeth. Matthew is going to make a promotional video for it called, "Zoo Looks". My kids are pretty smart, I tell ya, they came up with all that on their own.
OK, I'm really off to relax now!

This, that, and the other thing

Busy busy..that's what I've been.
On Friday's I try to do some deep cleaning in preparation for the Sabbath. So today, after school, the boys cleaned their play room nice and sparkling clean. Ok, not so sparkling, but clean enough to get a good dusting and vaccuuming done in there. The bathrooms all got a good scrubbing as well.
Anyhow, after Matt got off work we went out. I have started doing mystery shopping so we ran and did some shops. Two of which were on on base.
We are at a training base, and every weekend there are basic training graduations, which means tons of people.
Sitting behind us was a girl, with her dad, and her daughter. She obviously joined the air force to make a better life for her and her daughter. This happens often.
I am not sure where I stand on women in the military. I just seems so wrong to allow women to sign up for something where they could go off to war and be killed. That seems more of the man's thing.
OK, before you all yell at me, I have to say that I don't agree with the feminist movement. I think women belong at home, taking care of the kids and home. I would have fit well in Beaver's time, except I'm not quite as neat and tidy as Mrs. Cleaver.
So, I flip flop between thinking it is an admiral thing these women do, to make lives better for their kids. But how much better will it be if they go off to war and die?
Matt argues that men can take the place of women in the home. He says he would love to stay home with the kids and send me to work. I don't agree. I think we were created with specific roles, and those are: the man goes out to work and the woman stays home to take care of the kids. I can't help it, that's how I feel. And I don't think men can replace women, just as I don't think women can replace men in the workplace.
So all of that is to say that I really don't know how I feel about women in the military, only I guess I do, I disagree.
I'm not sure why any of it matters, because it really doesn't affect me, but what kind of world do we live in where it doesn't matter who fights the wars? What ever happened to women and children first. I'm assuming the thought behind that was that without women the human race would cease to exist. Although, without men that is true also. Maybe the women would just have to wait for the boys to grow up in that case.
I'm rambling. I'll hop off my soap box now.
Taddy the tadpole croaked today. I'm not sure he ever had a fighting chance to become a frog. So to replace him, we got Dillon a fire bellied toad. He's really cute, and now all the kids want one. I have a feeling we'll be investing in another aquarium to house frogs. Guess this is the life of boys, no?
That brings our pet population to 1 dog, 1 cat, 2 guinea pigs, a million fish, and 1 toad. Oh and speaking of fish, let me tell you a funny story real quick, then you can see our new froggy.
I got our aquarium for my birthday. Which was December 11. When we set it up, Dillon really wanted a dragon fish, but they were all sold out. So a week later we went back and got him one that was about 7 inches long.
Right before our company came for Christmas we cleaned out the tank. And suddenly the thing disappeared! We couldn't figure out where he went. The best we could guess was that he was up in one of the ornaments and Matt put it over the garbage disposal and it fell out. No way were either of us sticking our hands in there, we just turned on the disposal and let it rip!
We bought a new fish right before company arrived. It died 2 short days later. So we figured we were not meant to have dragon fish.
Lo and behold, the other day, we were feeding the fish and out comes this big mouth with teeth from under an ornament! He must have gotten buried under the rocks and then dug his way out.
So now he is out, alive and well. Crazy.
Ok, gotta run, Zachy's calling.
But first, here's our new froggy, who doesn't have a name yet!

How quick they grow

My friend and I were just talking about how quickly kids grow. In a blink of an eye, they're nine! I shudder to think of how soon they will all be gone.
Here's a little trip through the years. Enjoy


My sweet little baby, Zachy. This is my favorite picture of him, and I remember the day like it just happened.




Even though only 2 years have passed, you can still see the changes. He is turning into a little boy. Just yesterday, he was my baby. *sniff sniff*




Here is my sweet little Collin. This is his 6 month picture. Couldn't you just eat him up??





How is he already four???




My little Dillon. He was six months old in this picture.




Here he is now. Seven years old, and so cute.




Here's Matthew at 6 months!



And now he is nine, and handsome, if I do say so myself!

Cute things my kids do.

I keep meaning to post this, and then forget.
Back when we were talking about Japan and telling the kids that most people don't have cars there, Dillon said, "what?? How do they eat? Do they go to a walk-thru??"
My goodness it was funny.
I thought Zachy saying 'mommy' was the cutest thing, but now he says,"lu ooo" For 'love you'. That has to be much cuter!
He also says "ham-oo" for "shamu" which is really cute. Except that their bathroom has fish, and manatees, and dolphins and he has to point to everyone and say, "ham-oo mommy?" Over and over. So sweet.
Yesterday he came running up to me with his arms up yelling ,"hu hu" meaning "hug hug". So I gave him a hug and he toddled on his merry way!
His speech is really coming right along.
I had a ton of cute stuff to record, and now I just don't remember any of it.
I'm going to try to upload a video, but honestly, I don't really know how, so we'll see how far I get!

Why do we do, what we do?

I've been having some pretty strange dreams lately.
But last night's really takes the cake.
All I remember is that I had like two foot long hair growing out of my toes. There was so much of it that I had a pony tail of hair on each foot. And when I walked it went "flop flop flop"
I must figure out what is giving me these dreams!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I went to a Le Leche League meeting last night.
It was nice to not be the only person in the universe nursing a two year old!
They were a nice bunch of ladies, and I think I'll return each month. We'll see.
The first thing we did was go around the room and introduce ourselves and then we had to say who our nursing/mother role model was. As in, why do we do what we do??
Almost everyone said their own mother. But it was tough for me. My mom nor my mother in law have ever been huge breastfeeding people. Don't get me wrong, they have never been against it, just not telling me, "this is what you have to do"
I honestly don't know why I ever started nursing. It isn't something I remember researching alot of when I was pregnant with Matthew. I do remember just thinking that is what you did, so I would try. But, I had a big stockpile of bottles, just in case. Then, when he was born with a birth difference, I felt I had betrayed him somehow, and that no matter what it took I would make breastfeeding work. I used to cry, it hurt so bad, but I was determined.
Each kid has gotten the privilege of nursing longer. I guess I just chalk it up to 'ya live and learn, and then do better' Lots of things have changed in my parenting over the years, and I would like to think that it has changed for the better, although not everyone agrees, I'm sure.
This way of parenting just works for us. And it's like they say (and my new saying when someone asks me if I'm still nursing that baby!), "if it ain't broke...don't fix it!"

Getting over the hump??

I think I may be getting over the hump.
When we first got here, we were in the honeymood mode. We were excited to be in a new place.
Then, I started to hate it. I was so miserable, and just wanted to go home.
I realized today, that I don't feel so miserable. I don't feel the desperate need to go home. This is feeling like home. Of course, I miss everyone terribly, and their kind words still bring tears to my eyes, but I'm surviving. I could be happy here.
We went back to the church I mentioned, last sabbath. And there were lots of kids. Apparently, they go to that church when they go to church. So I've been thinking and thinking and thinking of things we could do there to get the kids divisions to grow.
But the main thing is that it feels good. It really does. It feels like home. The people are so friendly and welcoming. I never felt that at the other church. So, this is where we will make our church home, and we will just have to work on growing the kids groups. I keep telling Matt, that this September we could start up an Adventurer club, but that is probably getting ahead of myself.
Anyway, that has helped alot. Just knowing that there are potential friends. Not even friends so much, but somewhere to turn if we needed something. Understand?
Between the church and other things, we are settling in, and truly, I could be happy here. I think I'm on the downward slope. I even thought today, "we may not need to go to Razzleberry this summer" *ducking as my mom smacks me!* But, it isn't true. Because no matter how happy we get here, no one can replace family.
Besides, it gets darn hot here, we may need to escape!

PS, did I mention it is a beautiful day. In the 70s and clear skies. So nice!

Friends

I often feel like I am a very bad friend.
I feel like I don't have time for friends.
I have no friends here yet. So we are talking long distance friends. Which requires a lot of effort and time. There are no quick phone calls, they all take at least an hour.
I don't mind, but I think I may be outgrowing that. Alright, no comments from the peanut gallery...Dave, I'm talkin to YOU!
Things are just different now that Matt is actually home.
Today, Matthew went to the orthodontist(and he wants me to tell you all that he got dark green bands on his braces), we came home, ate lunch, did school. Matthew just finished school, and in less than an hour Matt will be home. Then it is dinner time, family time, bath time, bed time. Then it is "spend time with Matt time". Matt could probably care less if I had "designated Matt time" but the fact is, I enjoy being with him. I have missed it so much over the last million years. Even if it means just sitting and watching tv, I still enjoy it. I love watching him watch tv. He makes me smile.
He gets so tickled about the silliest things. He will start laughing and just can't stop. I think it is a release of stress from the day.
I just love being with my family, and they take up all my time. Which isn't a bad thing. But it leaves me feeling really guilty about the way I've been neglecting my friends.
To my faithful friends, I'm sorry. Even though I'm scarce, I don't love you any less. Thank you for putting up with me.

Journey to the mailbox

I just sent Dillon and Collin to get the mail. Well, I sent Dill, but Collin had to tag along.
The mailbox is across a little field, full of prickly little things that stick in your socks. Normally, they take the sidewalks if they don't have shoes on.
So, time goes by (like 5 minutes) and Matthew finishes school. He wanted to go out and play with his brothers, but I told him they were getting the mail.
We look out the window to figure out what in the world is taking them so long. I see the two of them sitting on the ground picking things out of their socks. I chuckled to myself, thinking they knew better.
Matthew goes back out front, and still no Dillon and Collin. The next time we looked out, they were walking on the sidewalk, back home, taking forever.
So I till Matthew to ride his scooter over to see what the holdup is. When he gets back he says, "they're just balancing on the edge of the sidewalk" It was really cute, the two of them.
So they get close to our house, and cross the road. I hear Collin say, "Dillon, if you see someone run me over, tell me. And if I see someone run you over, I'll tell you" Oh my goodness, I was dying!
I notice there is no mail. I ask, out the window, why they didn't get the mail.
Dillon says, "I did"
I ask, "where is it??"
He holds up his hands, and to his horror, he is only holding his socks!!
Back he goes, around the sidewalk, to the original place they were taking off their socks.
There was the pile of mail.
They did manage to find two lollipops on the ground that I made them throw away, though!
There was a nice surprise waiting for Matthew in the mailbox as well, a letter from his friend Derek. As an aside, I think it is neat the Matthew and Derek are writing. Derek is the son of my best friend. She lives in Oregon, so we can only talk on the phone, but I think it is neat that Matthew and he are becoming penpals and buds like their moms!
It was so hilarious. And so heartwarming.
Dillon never left Collin's side. And Collin was going to tell him if he got run over! All I could think of was ,"this is why I have these kids" They look out for each other. They are best friends. They fight, yes, but ultimately, they would play with each other before anyone else, and they truly can depend on each other.
I'm sure my story wasn't nearly as funny to you all, but if you were here watching it, you would be in stitches too!!

Cuteness overload

~*~*~*~*Here are some recent pics of the kiddos~*~*~*~*~*~


Today we made butterflies. Collin's pictures didn't turn out, and Zachy was sleeping, so it's just Matthew and Dillon in these.




Matthew's butterfly. That is our new fishtank in the background, it was my birthday present!





Dillon painting his butterfly






Dillon's new shirt! LOL Just kidding, it's his butterfly.







When they were done with the butterflies they wanted to finger paint.






Dillon and The Donald





Collin's new spectacles. They arne't really THAT big, I don't know why pictures make their glasses look so much bigger.





Have you ever seen anything so sweet? I love this picture of my babies!




I found two little mice in my laundry basket one morning!!



And last but not least, my birthday/Christmas gift from my in laws. If you can't tell, it is an italian charm bracelet with pictures of my kids, and I LOVE it!!

Rambles and Kid cuteness

Matt asked me why I put so much info in my blog. He has never read any of my blogs before. He said I divulge too much information.
This got me thinking. Why do I blog? Yes, I said it was to keep you all up to date on the kids. But really, it helps me sort through my thoughts. If you have been a long time reader of mine, you may remember me telling you it is hard for me to turn my mind off at night (I am a poster child for Lunesta, I'm telling ya!). Writing here helps me sort it out.
Like Japan for example. Matt says the chances of us even going are so slim. Yet, I wrote about it. Why? Because when he first mentioned it, I was like, "oh, heck no, we are NOT going there" But then I got to thinking about it more, and realized it might not be so so bad. But as Matt says, it is a moot point since we probably won't go.
So I guess the bottom line is this. If you are brave enough to get through all my other jibberish, I will give you some updates on the kids too. But I guess I just really need an outlet.
Now, onto some of that other stuff!
It has been so warm here. It is hard to believe that it could ever get cold. But alas, Zach's speech therapist told me the other day that it does indeed get cold! In fact, she says it gets downright icy! When I questioned as to the reality of that statement, she looked at me, eyes as big as saucers and downright serious and said, "oh yes, in February, like two whole days!"
It was all I could do to not die laughing!
Yesterday held much cuteness. Early in the morning, Dillon was singing a song called, "He's Still Working on me"
It goes like this~
He's still workin on me
to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars
the sun and earth and jupiter and mars.
How loving and patient He must be
cause He's still workin on me.~
So he's singing this at the top of his lungs and Matthew looked at him like he was a weirdo and said, "what in the world made you think of that song?!"
Dillon's reply?
"Oh nothing, I was just thinking about God" What an awesome kid he is!
Around that same time, Zachy came upstairs with a jar of spaghettios. He wanted that for breakfast. I, being the greatest mom in the universe, decided that I would pick my battles and let him eat them. He ate nearly a whole can. Silly kid.
And this is totally unrelated to anything, but my mom got Dillon this tadpole thing for his birthday back in October. It's like an antfarm, where you send away for the tadpoles. Well, we ordered 2, and 1 has already died. Anyway, we got them in November, and the stinkin thing still has no legs. I'm stumped, really as to why that would be. How long does it take? Sheesh.

This and that

My mom was asking me if I am being faithful in updating here. I told her of course I was, so now I have to keep with it! LOL
She acts like this is the first blog I've had. Little does she know that I have been journaling online since 2000!
Anyhow, I'm tired. Zachary was awake and nursing ALL NIGHT LONG. Ok, maybe not really, but it felt like it. I really don't know what to do about this. Next week, I'm going to a Le Leche League meeting to try and get some ideas. I have no desire to force him to wean, but I need sleep.
~*~*~*~*~ NEWSFLASH~*~*~*~*~*~
Zachy had been downstairs and I was trying to get him to go to sleep. Well, he took off up the stairs. We didn't check him for a bit. When Matt went up there he said Zachy was in his bed.
Matt just went upstairs and all four boys are sound asleep!!! Zachy has never fallen asleep in his bed before. Is this a huge step?? Or maybe just a fluke! I don't care, I'll take it!!
In other news. I spoke with the El Paso detective about my good buddy Jesse Johnson who ripped me off. Well, miraculously, tonight I got an email from him saying to expect a cashiers check no later than the 15th. Woohoo!! I will email him back and let him know that the police know about the email and if I don't get the check I'll press charges! YAY!!! I hope this all works out!
We ordered Collin's glasses today, and I'll pick them up tomorrow. It was a huge pain because, stupid me, I forgot my debit card so couldn't pay. I had to go all the way back home to grab it, then go pay. Then we had some things to return at Wally World. We returned 2 games and got Collin a different game. A Fisher Price Noah's Ark game. Matthew used to have a barnyard bingo that looks the same as this. Hopefully, he'll like it.
And finally, tonight was a party and Adventurers so Zach and I went. Zachy was running all around. Once he ran in the boys bathroom. I wasn't sure he had gone in there. But when I went in....he was sitting on the potty without his pants or diaper!!! I have no idea if he actually went potty or not but my goodness! Tonight is a night for my boy getting big!
PS..we've been talking about the Japan thing. Thinking it may not be that bad. We could sell our cars and have 3 years of no car payment, we could have a nice nest egg when we got back to buy a house. Since we've been thinking this, we are sure we won't get to go.
Ah well, whatever is meant to happen, will.

Selfish ramblings

Selfish, selfish thoughts today.
First off, I won an auction for an ipod for Matt before Christmas. Most of you know the story.
Anyway, long story short, I never received the ipod. The guy gave me lots of stories, that I chose to believe. I just wanted to think that people aren't all bad! So, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
He didn't have the ipods. He was supposedly ordering them from Macmall. A fact I didn't know till long after he had my money. He sent me the order confirmation. I checked it out and it said the order was cancelled. Well, he said he didn't cancel it and was working on getting his money back from them.
I was thinking, "how long does that take?" So I called up Macmall today. The order was never processed because his account was flagged for fraud. *sigh*
I filed a complaint against him with the internet fraud part of the FBI. Who, are actually already investigating the jerk.
I talked with the lady they are investigating him for and she said that they have told him he has till the 14th to send her a cashier's check or she will press charges and he can go to jail.
OK, that sounds great. Let's do the same thing. Right? The problem is, they can send the jerk to jail, he can make bail, and be out. That doesn't get me my money back. Selfish thought number 1.

OK, so selfish thought number 2.
Zach's speech therapist just confided in me today that she is pregnant. Only her parents and one other person know (well besides her husband) so why she chose to confide in me, I don't know. But anyway, she is due in June. What do I think? Well, of course I'm happy for her, BUT(and here is the way too selfish part) in August Zach will turn 3, and will no longer be eligible for Easter Seals anyway. So, if she works to term, then I am left without a therapist, or worse yet, a new one for 2 months. I think without one would be better. What a pain.
But, I am really happy for her. She doesn't have any kids yet. And might I add that there must be something about me because EVERYONE around me is turning up pg. I have heard a pregnancy announcement everyday for several days now. It's kind of wierd.
~~~~~~~
Ok I just got up to take care of Zachy and have lost my other selfish thoughts.
So I will say, my sil, Gina is pregnant! She is due in August. All I can think of is that my in laws must be wondering why in the world all three of their children haven't figured out what makes August babies!! LOL Maybe it will take the other 2 only 1 baby instead of some other people I know who have managed 3 August babies. I won't mention any names, but I'm sure you can all figure out that we won't be making anymore August babies. Yeah right, that is a crock! LOL
OK, I'm getting rambly.
Oh yeah, the other thing I wanted to write about was the fact that our wedding album is not holding up well. So, I called our photographer, who is now retired, to ask him what could be done about it. Since he is retired it is basically up to us. They tried to help, but it didn't work. So I called the company. I will send the album back and get a new one. It holds 25 big ole pages. Matt asked if we should just buy a new one because it will cost a bundle to ship it. So, I looked online. This album costs $460!!!!! Holy smokes, I think we'll just send this one back!
~~~~~~~
In totally unrelated news, for some reason, the churches we have been going to have pot luck every week. So this week Dillon asks, "are we staying for puck luck?"
PUCK LUCK!! Silly kid. Of course we didn't correct him and said, "yep, we're staying for puck luck!"

Good evening

Good evening everyone!
Yesterday, I was trying to decide what to do about school today. Well, Matthew fixed that all by his lonesome. He woke up early and started his school. He had everything done by like 10:30. I was shocked. He did 24 pages, 4 in 6 books. Go Matthew!
I did give Dillon the day off. His program is a 4 day program, so since Matt was home we'll start tomorrow.
Today was indeed beautiful. Although, it feels totally unnatural to me to be enjoying high 80 degree weather in January. The boys played in the sprinklers even!
Then, as a last hoo-rah before things get back to normal, we took the kids to see Narnia. Oh, we were so impressed. It was so good. We had read the book to the boys, so they thought it was fantastic. Really, really good.
Now everyone is settling down for beddie bye, and I am doing some searching on the web. I can't find what I'm looking for though. I guess I'm not good enough! HAHA!!
So, what am I searching for you ask. Well, something that is probably a moot point, but I'll spill it anyway. That way you all can be in prayer for us!
Matt has discovered that one fellow (there are three of them this year) is going to be moved to a different base at the end of the fellowship year, probably to Japan. This scares the bajeebies out of me. It is so far away! That person would be there for 3 years.
So, I'm searching to see what is there. Specifically, if there is a pediatric cardiologist anywhere on the bases. Apparently, they can't move us to a place that doesn't meet our medical needs.
We really have no clue who it will be, but supposedly should find out in a couple weeks.
We were thinking that they would rather move a single person, than a family of 6. But then we got to thinking about what happens when you go onto another base. Once the fellows leave here, they are on their own. The only audiologist on base. Knowing that changes everything. Why, you ask. Because the other 2 girls are so not ready to be on their own. Whoever doesn't go this year is here for another 3 years. It is no secret amongst the auds that Matt has received the highest review scores. Sooooo...does that make it more likely that it would be us, probably.
I guess it boils down to what is more important to them, spending the money to move us, or having a competent aud. at their base.
The question still remains about the card, though. Time will tell.
There are 3 other bases here that will be opening up spots for new auds, but those will most likely go to the people who have been here longer. It would be nice if we got lucky and got to stay in the country! We'll see.
Like I said, it could totally be a moot point, but I thought I'd check it out anyway. Tokyo does have a nice Disneyland though! :-)

Flickr woes

Can someone please help me?
I want to do a flickr badge in my sidebar. But, I've uploaded some of my graphics to the flickr account and don't really want those rolling around in the pics.
So, there is a spot where it says you can just post pics with certain tags.
This is where my problem arises. Everytime I try to put a tag on a picture it won't let me. I get the word above the tag spot with an 'x' behind it. And it then says I have no saved tags.
How in the world do I go about tagging my pics? It would be nice if they all had the same tags so that I could just exclude the graphics.
Anyone??

Decisions to make and other ramblings....

We took the boys to the opthalmologist on Thursday. Collin and Matthew, that is. Matthew is pretty stable, and his rx remains the same. He goes back, probably in February, to have the thickness of his cornea measured and his pressure checked again. The pressure in the right eye is high, but last year it was ok for the thickness of the cornea. So, since we are new here, this will be the baseline.
Collin's rx continues to change. The dr wants us to consider contacts. We had no idea that his world appears tiny to him, and this kills us. She said that just the couple inches between his eyes and glasses makes it that way, and with contacts he may see normally. Right now, with glasses he see 20/60. Not bad, but not great either. We just don't know how we would deal with contacts. I mean, Matthew wore a contact when he was an infant, and that was tough. He couldn't use his hands to stop us from putting it in though. I think that once he realizes it is better he wouldn't have a problem wearing them, but getting him to take them out may be tricky. He hates to not have his glasses on. It is like he goes totally blind without them. As a result, he goes to sleep with them on and they are the first thing he grabs when he wakes up. How I wish I had a magic wand to make his eyes all better.
In totally other news, this weekend we went to a new church. We really liked the pastor and the service, BUT there were very few people there. And there were no kids besides ours and one other. The pastor said they always have people visit with kids, but when they see there are no others, they leave. Matt says that someone has to stay. So will that be us? We don't know. The kids will continue to go to Adventurers at the old church, but there have been some major issues that we aren't sure we want to deal with there. So, we'll see. Lots of prayer needs to go into it. Interestingly, the pastor at this church is the father of one of our friends from Idaho. So maybe that is why we liked him so much! He was just so real. It was refreshing. I just wish there were more people there.
I haven't decided if the kids are doing school tomorrow. The schools here don't resume until Wednesday, and it is supposed to be 85 tomorrow. The kids were outside all day and just had a really nice day. Matt is off tomorrow too, so we may just start up on Tuesday. I made them do school the week before Christmas while everyone else was home, so maybe we will just take off.
I have all these thoughts rolling around in my head, and I might as well just get them down.
For quite awhile, Matt and I have tossed around the idea of another child. While we both love the idea of more kids, Matt isn't sure he wants to brave it. He would adopt in a heartbeat, but just doesn't want to go through our past again. I don't blame him, it just isn't as big an issue to me.
So anyway, everyone around us is either pregnant, or just gave birth, and I'll admit, I'm a wee bit envious. OK a lot bit. This morning Matt told me to just be happy with what we have and not be selfish. That sounds really harsh, but it wasn't, that is just a long conversation summed up.
Tonight, I was talking with our neighbor who is trying to decide if she wants another kid. She is concerned that if she has three, then she won't have money for things like lasik, or travel, or to play.
I told Matt that there are different types of selfish. And I'm not saying that it isn't ok to want the material things, if that's your priority, great, but it isn't ours. So maybe it is ok to be selfish in wanting more kids.
None of that makes sense, but it does in my head. I don't see it as selfish. I see it as adding to the world's great people. :-)
And since I have totally confused everyone with my messed up logic, let me end with telling you we watched Crash tonight. It was the worst movie I've seen in a long time. I thought I had heard good things about it, but it was terrible. The whole thing was racist, and filthy. I don't recommend it at all.
We watched Monster in Law on New Years Eve, and it was pretty cute and funny. I recommend it!

All about me!

This is the rebirth of my old journal, Simple Gifts.
When I started my journal over 4 years ago, it was with the desire to share my family with our extended family. When we moved nearby, that seemed to not be necessary anymore. Now we live far far away from any family so I decided it was time for a rebirth.
I often find that when I trip upon someone's blog, I want to know more about their past. I tend to head to their first blog entry to see what it says. So I figure I will give you a good idea of who we are here, then you won't have to search through endless, meaningless entries!
Where to start? I guess I 'll just talk about the really important stuff to me.
I have been married to my husband, Mr. Wonderful, for 11 years. We wed when we were just 18 years old. What were we thinking?! But, life is good! We couldn't be happier.
Today, he is an audiologist in the USAF, and I'm so proud!
I stay at home with our 4 children. All boys.
Our eldest is 9. He is in the 4th grade, and we homeschool him. He is so great. He was born with mutiple birth differences. A cleft nose, cataract in the right eye (he is now blind in that eye), and a lipoma (fatty tumor) in his brain. The lipoma has no affect on him, praise God! He has definitely had trials to overcome. To date he has had 8 surgeries, and there are more in his future. Through it all he remains strong.
Our second boy is 7. He is the lucky kid. He is in first grade and is homeschooled as well. He was born perfectly healthy, and continues to be very healthy to this day.
Dear son number 3 is now 4 years old. He is severely near sighted. I know this seems common, but he is not common. Currently, he is in glasses, but the opthalomologist just talked to us about getting him in contacts. She says that everything he sees is small. Wierd. Anyway, we'll be thinking and praying on that topic. Other than his eyes, he is a picture of health.
Our fourth son is now 2. He was born with a life threatening heart defect called, Total Anomolous Pulmonary Venous Return, or TAPVR. There is a link about this in my sidebar.
He underwent open heart surgery when he was 2 days old, and has thrived since then. He is a miracle. The cardiologists say his heart is as healthy as a heart healthy kids. Amazing.
As for me, I'm a sahm. I struggle with finding myself amongst all the people in the world. Seems that the things I believe in and advocate or pretty crazy. I believe in extended breastfeeding. I believe children should be home with their parents and that their parents should have more influence on them than their peers. I believe in cosleeping(although ds #4 is moving out of our bed, he always ends up there by morning, along with ds#3). I believe in God deciding our family size(dh and I don't see eye to eye on this issue, yet...). I believe in wearing my babies. And I don't believe that women should be equal to men. Women were created to be man's helper. I am not Mr Wonderful's equal, I am his helpmeet. He is the head of this home.
I struggle with juggling drs appts for the kids. And I struggle with the military!
I struggle to find time for friends. I often wonder if I should even have friends because I find it hard to keep up with everyone! I try though.
But through it all, I really couldn't be happier. I love all God has given me, and feel so blessed.
If you made it this far, you now know a little (lot) about me.
I hope you enjoy this journey as much as I will enjoy bringing it to you.
One more thing, I plan on updated at nighttime only after today. Hopefully daily, but we will see.
Happy new year everyone!