Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Raising Boys

You know, people often tell me that boys are much easier than girls to raise. That there are less worries.
I obviously don't have any girls to compare it with, but there are definitely things that pop up that make boys tough. Things that I haven't quite figured out how to deal with.
We have a neighbor girl, C, who is way too much like Matthew. They both like to be in charge. And they both don't like to budge if they can't be in charge. Because of this, they butt heads....a lot.
Lately, it seems to be turning physical. No hitting, but pushing certainly takes place.
Of course, they both always say the other started it.
After the first episode, we informed Matthew that it was NOT ok to lay his hands on a girl. And as the words were falling out of my mouth, I realized just how off it seems.
Yes, boys tend to be stronger, but does that mean that boys have to take a beating from a girl, just because she is a girl? That doesn't seem right to me.
I am pretty traditional when it comes to the roles of boys and girls. I absolutely believe the man should be the bread winner, and the woman should be home taking care of that home. And I am not a feminist. Far from it.
I just don't know how to handle this. Seriously. We all know of people who have relationships where the woman DOES beat up man. And is that ok, just because he was unfortunate enough to be born with a penis?? I don't think so.
I will continue to tell Matthew that he can't lay his hands on C, ever, but I'm so not sure that is the right answer. I don't understand why it is ok for her to lay her hands on him though.
See, people don't think of these things when they make comments about boys being easy. It certainly isn't easy!


gina (uk) said...

Perhaps u need to go and have a friendly chat with 'C's' Mom. Just say its a little of 'push and shove', but obviously u are bringing up your men not to push back.

I have never had the 'don't hit' conversation with my boys, perhaps I should. I have never really seen them hitting Holly, and normally they just call each other 'Gay' and walk off in a huff !!!

I just need to say that perhaps I spend too long here at your journal lol ! You know it when the song starts playing for a second time !

Maria said... you got me thinking with TWO boys of my own!!! yikes! but you are soooo right! i agree with above that maybe you should talk to c's parents to let them know! that is a tough one though!!!

hey, great talking to you yesterday! thanks for all your help! did you see that "hero" homeschooling site i sent you and the upcoming confrence?!?!? maybe......

Crayonsetc said...

See, now I really think there is a difference between laying hands on a girl and defending yourself. It is hard for an adult to understand, so how do we expect a child to understand it. I would say to your son, 'never lay your hands on a girl' and I would feel good about that, because when they are older, they are going to remember that.

Me, with my dd, I am saying you never lay your hands on anyone :) For her, I want her to know that hitting is wrong, she is to use her words. Yet the only punishment that seems to work with her is a spanking... granted, most of the time it is more of a threat than actual punishment!

I would just keep telling him don't and then have a conversation with the girls Mom to tell them what you are telling your son, and maybe they can direct their dd... kwim? ;)

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