Pictures

I'm happy to say that Zachy is doing great. I've also noticed that I can no longer see his pulse pulsing in his neck. It used to be that I could see it from several feet away. His heart must be working pretty efficiently. I did feel his pulse, and it was so wierd...I had a hard time finding it. And then, it was pretty fast. I didn't count it since I know it isn't below 80, but it just felt really wierd. HOORAY!!
Anyway, here are some pictures from the surgery.

Waiting to have vitals taken.



Here we are in the pre op area. It was actually in the cath lab, and we were the only ones there. As a result, they allowed all the boys and grandparents back with him to give hugs and kisses. It was nice. They also didn't change him out of his clothes and into a gown until he was on the bed and out.
He had just had versed and was starting to relax a little.


And now the versed has kicked in and he is really silly.



Waiting in the waiting room, for 8 long, long hours.

Matthew


Dillon


Collin with grandma and grandpa


Grandma


Emmie


Finally done and in his room.


Day after surgery


Collin helping entertain him.


On these pictures, you can see white marks amongst the green. The white is everytime the pacemaker strikes. He would go several minutes with no strikes, then several with them.



Incision is on the left pec.


Playing in the playroom on Thursday.



Picture Matthew drew for him, of him. The pacemaker is down below his heart.


Watching TV in a wagon. We had taken a ride around the ward, and he decided he needed to stay in the wagon.



Bandages covering the pressure marks on his back. They were very sore red marks across his upper back. It was what he complained about more than anything. I'm happy to say they are almost gone now. And I don't know why I don't have pictures of the marks. Other than the fact that he would scream anytime we got near his back.



Visits from everyone


And finally, he got to come home. His mood suddenly changed and he started singing songs.

Zachy is home!

Whew, what a couple of days this has been.
Zachy's surgery was scheduled for Wednesday at 10:30. We arrived at the hospital at 9 am. While we were working on all the vitals and whatnot, the doc came in to talk to us. We talked about all the risks and whatnot. He told me he didn't expect any complications and that it should be pretty straight forward. He figured it would take 2-3 hours from start to finish.
We then moved upstairs to the cath lab, and they gave him some versed. He had been totally silent before the versed kicked in. Finally, he started smiling. As soon as the versed kicked in, they took us to the lab where they would do the surgery. They put the mask on him to gas him down, and he started laughing. It was so funny. Matthew has always fought the gas mask, but Zachy just laughed and laughed. He had the hiccoughs from laughing so much. Finally, he was asleep and we kissed him goodbye.
The plan was to get an IV in and shoot contrast up his arm to make sure his veins were open enough to get the leads in. After a bit, the doc came out to tell us that the veins were indeed wide open and he would proceed with the surgery as planned.
The next update was from a nurse who told us he was making the pocket in his chest where the generator would be placed.
I don't know how much time went by, but the next update was from the doctor. He came out with an x-ray to show us what was going on. He had been having a hard time getting the leads through his veins and couldn't figure out why. So he decided to do a heart cath and find out why out. He tried in his right leg, but for some reason was unable to get anything in that vein. It's a mystery why that artery is so small. But after that he went to his left leg and was able to go in that way. Once up there, he was able to see that while the veins were wide out far from his heart, closer in it was very narrow. He told us he had called in another doctor to decide if they should just balloon up the vein and leave it, or balloon it and place a stent to hold it open. The concern was that if they ballooned it and didn't put a stent in, then the vein would eventually collapse around the lead over time. My understanding is that this wouldn't be a big deal, but they would like to avoid that.
We waiting for probably an hour for the other doc to get there. We saw her come in, and it wasn't long before she came back out. The two of them told us they decided the best thing to do would be to place a stent, so we agreed to that. They told us one of the risks would be the stent being pushed out of place, but they said there was a very small risk of that, like 2%. So we consented to that part of the surgery.
The next update came when the second doc came out and told us the stent was in place and the first doc would be proceeding as planned. PHEW!!
Time went by, and I told Matt something must have gone wrong, because it was taking too long.
The second doc came back out to let us know that while they were feeding the lead through, the stent was pushed out of place. They decided to pull it down to his leg so that if he needs another heart cath, they will have a place to get at.
It wasn't too long after that that a nurse came to tell us he had been able to get the leads across the narrow vein. It wouldn't be long now.
But that wasn't the case. Again, I told Matt that something was wrong and it was taking too long.
Finally, the nurse came and said the doctor was closing up.
When he came out to talk to us he told us that due to all the scar tissue in his right atria it was very hard to place the lead. It finally got placed though, and they were done.
A 2-3 hour surgery ended up taking 8 hours. My poor baby. He went through so much.
Since then he has done really well. He stayed in the hospital about 48 hours to get IV antibiotics. But has really done great pain wise. The thing that bothers him the most is his back. He has red marks on his back from being on the table so long. And they are very sensitive. That's all that he really complains about. Right now, he is telling me his armpit is hurting, so he's had some tylenol.
Matt was able to stay with him both nights at the hospital.
While in the hospital they had his monitor showing when the pacemaker would go off. It was really interesting to watch. He would go for several minutes just fine. Then he would be paced for several minutes. They have it set for if his rate falls below 80 beats per minute.
We go back to the doctor next week, but for now he is comfortable at home.
Thank you for all your prayers. It was hairy, but the end result is good.

Already

Tomorrow's the big day.
I've been really preoccupied this week. But that stress has now subsided...and I'm so not ready for this.
simple procedure....simple procedure....simple procedure.... But still...he's my baby...and this involves his heart...and wel...he's my baby.
Pray for us.

Would you believe it..I'm still alive!

It's occured to me that sometimes when I'm stressed, or worried, I just don't function well.
I mean, I do in my day to day life, but to do extra, like blog, forget it.
Zachy's surgery is approaching at such a rapid speed, it's making my head spin.
My mom is here, and Matt's parents will be here tomorrow.
Zachy is so looking forward to going to the hospital. He knows there will be goodies for him. He also knows that he will go to sleep, and that he will get good medicine to help him not hurt. But dang, it's still so hard. I hurt just thinking of him going under.
It's so hard. I hate seeing my kids hurt. As any mother would. *Sigh*
We've been occupying ourselves with the Wii. My mom is playing tennis behind me. It's funny to hear her blame things on the remote. Sounds just like me.
Everyone is doing well.
Matthew is scheduled to have 7 teeth pulled on the 22nd. That should be fun too. At least Matt will have the week off. I imagine he will probably be the one to take Matthew in, because Zachy will still be out of commission.
Collin is wearing his contacts great. And with his new glasses to correct his astigmatism he is seeing 20/30. Can you believe it? It is so wonderful. He has never seen that well before. Yesterday, he looked up and said, "hey, an airplane"
Dill and Em are pretty uneventful. They just truck along, growing up way too fast.
I'll try hard to update after surgery, if not before then, but I can't make any promises.
Until then, peace be with you.

Grandpa

I've often wondered why the mean people live so long, and the good ones die young. Grandpa was one of the good ones. And he lived a good long life. He went downhill the last several years, and the last time we saw him, he was very frail. I have those images in my mind, but I'm going to remember the good times.
This was in 1994, when he drove all the way from southern California to eastern Washington, just to be at my high school graduation. He then turned around, a month later, to come to my wedding. In fact, he was the only extended member of my family to be at my graduation.



He did that a lot. And I totally took it for granted. He came when Matthew was born, and later in the year when Matthew was dedicated.
I just wish I hadn't taken it for granted.

This was at his 80th birthday party. When some people reach the cranky stage. Not him. He was there, lifting Matthew up to help him blow out his candles. I wish my kids knew him better. But as Dillon said, I can tell him the stories about watermelons, and make them his famous fried potatoes. I guess it will have to do.

Merry Christmas

It's been a great Christmas this year.
First of all, Collin is wearing his contacts all day. He really likes them, and can even take them out all by himself. I'm a bit concerned that someday he'll just decide to take them out for no good reason. But so far, one has come out every day and he takes it to Matt and says he needs it put back in. He has yet to let me put them in. Although, he did let Matt put some artificial tear drops in today, so I think we are definitely getting there.
We bought ourselves six flags season passes, and have been there twice so far. Both times we froze. We went Saturday night and it was so windy. Miserable, really. I can't wait to go when it is warmer.
We had made plans with some friends to take all the kids to see Alvin and the Chipmunks today, so decided we needed to do our big turkey dinner on Christmas Eve. We had those same friends over to eat and play games with us yesterday. It was so great. It makes life so much better to have good friends to share your time with. It also makes being far away from family much easier.
After they went home, we opened our family gifts. It was really great. We got mostly things we can do as a family. I love it. I made Matt a picture with all the kids' handprints on it. He had one from when we only had 3 kids, and always wanted me to add Zachy. So I made it with all five, finally.
My mom got us a new microwave. Microwaves older than 15 years can reset Zachy's pacemaker. Ours was questionable. We've had it 14 years, and have no idea if it was made 15 years ago or not. It's nice to just be safe. I don't know what to do with our old one though. It's in perfect condition, and seems silly to just donate to goodwill. Wish I knew someone who needed one.
Last night, Santa came to our house. And what did he bring? Why a Wii, of course. We are all so excited to have it! We love it. Great fun.
Today, we saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was cute. I've always been a fan of Theodore. So cute and cuddly. I think everyone in the city was there!
In all, it's been a really great Christmas.
But with happiness, always seems to come sadness.
Yesterday afternoon, my grandpa passed away. It was one of those things where it was good for him to die, but not for those of us who love him. He felt like he lived a good long life, and was really ready to go. But, we will miss him. Especially my dad. He didn't only lose his dad, but his best friend too. So if you could, would you just pray for him. He's really doing well. He knows it was time, but it's still hard to lose someone you love so much.
Also, I've been thinking all day, that now the holidays are over. Now Zachy's surgery will be here before we know it. And honestly, I don't want to go there. I have nothing to look forward to, to get my mind off it. I know we'll get through this, and everything will be ok. But there are always risks. And the future is not certain. And so, as a mommy, I worry. And...I pray. It's the only thing that gets me through.
OK, I've rambled far too long. I hope you all had a woderful Christmas.

Laundry Woes

As you can imagine, in a family of 7, there is a lot of laundry.
In our old house, I just did random laundry every day. I never sort, I just don't have the time.
Since we've moved, I've tried to change things up a bit.
I basically do laundry by room. This gives me 4 days of personal laundry, and 2 days to do sheets and other random laundry. I also do diapers twice a week.
It doesn't seem to be working out too well. I don't know why. Maybe because by the time I get to Collin and Zachy's room, they have a ton to do. And forget my room. That includes Emily's laundry, so that is an all day chore.
So my question is for those of you with large families. What is your routine like? What works for you? Is there a tried and true method that you would like to pass on to me. I'm up for anything to make this neverending chore a bit easier.

Praise the Lord

Tonight, Collin finished his dinner and said, "ok, I'm ready, put my contacts in" And Matt did.
Hopefully, tomorrow we'll get them in earlier in the day!

I just want to cry

Collin refuses to let us put the contacts in. All day I've been fighting him. No amount of bribary is working.
He says he just wants to go to heaven now so that his eyes will work. *Sob*

Forgot to mention

I didn't get to mention earlier that Em is waving now. It is super cute. She also gives kisses. How is my baby so cute??

Finally, that update I promised you

I promised an update, so here it is.
Last week, I celebrated my 32nd birthday. I have no idea how I got so old. I don't feel 32, but I catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and think I look really old. I have been plucking white eyebrows lately. *sigh* Happens to the best of us, I suppose.
Also, Dillon had an orthodontist appointment last week. That went fine, but I asked the dr to look at Matthew's mouth and see if his permanent teeth were trying to come in like I was suspecting. Indeed, they are. He needs to have 9 teeth pulled. NINE! Poor thing. So we are waiting on the oral surgery place on base. They have to look at his records and decide if he is a case they can take right now. If not, we go on a waiting list. I hope they can just get in and get it done. One less thing to worry about!
Collin and Emily also had eye dr appointments last week. Em's eyes look great. Next spring, they'll dilate her again and check to be sure she isn't following Collin's pattern. We also discussed putting Collin in contacts.
His glasses make everything up close teeny tiny to him. So she said she'd refer him, and see what we could do.
We went yesterday. The dr told me he was really lukewarm about doing anything because his astigmatism was so bad. He said if anything were to work, it would be a really long road and definitely custom made lenses.
He started doing all his measurements and started saying, "now this is really unusual" I chuckled, because that is what we always hear regarding our kids. The astigmatism on the exterior and interior don't match. This did something that caused them to be able to take contacts right off the shelf, put them in his eyes and cause him to see. He can see so well with them. There is no astigmatism correction right now. In January we will go back and get glasses that will correct the astigmatism. However, when they were testing lenses, over the contacts, he actually saw better without the correction than with it. It's totally wild. And we know that it is a miracle. We went from his eyes being so bad that there really was no hope besides going to the institute for the blind to blow up all his school for him, to pulling a pair of contacts off the shelf right there. All night, I had tears in my eyes as he did things he'd never done before. It was so great.
Today, on the other hand, he refuses to let me put them in. I remember writing about him hating his glasses and wondering if he'd ever wear them. And now we can't get them off. I've said for awhile that as soon as he realizes they help, we'll have a hard time getting the contacts off. We just have to get to that point.
OK, Em is screaming at me, so my time is up. Pray that we get them in!!

Musical Monday

OK, Cory over at Roosmom is doing a musical monday meme these days.
Today's was to post your favorite soundtrack video.
So...here's mine! I LOVE LOVE LOVE Grease and Grease 2.

I need some time!!

I have lots to write about.
I had a birthday! And we went to a great party! And some kids had drs appointments.
And I want to write about all of it...but I just don't have the time.
Emily cut a tooth, and life was great..for a few days. Now, it's partner is trying to make it's entrance, and things are not so great.
I promise, dear readers, I will be back, soon, to tell you all about the week.

HEHE, it just occurred to me that y'all are going to think it's really exciting, and I assure you, it isn't. But alas, I'll update anyway!

Moooooo

Back in high school, I bought the "It's a Cow Christmas" cassette tape.
How I loved that tape. Matt loved it too. We listened to it every year.
Then, at some point, we lost it. And we miss it!
You can't buy it anymore. This always happens with things I love. Take for instance the 80s game Dark Tower. My sister and I spent many hours playing that game when we were kids.
I decided one day that it would be great to introduce my kids to it. They don't make it either. In fact, it is now a huge collector's item, selling for over $300.
Lucky for my kids, my mom kept ours. So for Matthew's birthday, he received the game, and he loves it too.
I know my kids would love the cow christmas. Why can't I find it though? I could buy it on ebay for a chunk of change, but is it worth it? I just don't know.
I wish that the great things in life would just continue to be made for all time!

OH! I forgot to tell y'all!!

I ordered Matt and me Phantom of the Opera tickets yesterday!
The traveling show will be here in February and March.
I am SO SO SO excited!!!

Clearing something up, and some funnies

Some of you have asked me about Zachy's surgery and how it will be done.
If all goes according to plan, this will NOT be through the breastbone.
They will make a little incision by the pectoral muscle and put the generator under the muscle. Then they will thread the leads in through his veins.
The catch here is that there, apparently, is no such thing as a "pediatric" pacemaker. So we are dealing with adult size leads. And 4 year old size veins. The card seems to think that Z's veins are big and wide open, but they won't know until they get in there if they are big enough.
But, as of right now, the plan is to NOT open his chest, just a small pocket area.

~~~~~~~
When I call my mom, her husband will sometimes answer. It goes like this.
"Dave K____"
"Dave K____, is Cathy K_____ there?"
I say that everytime he answers like.
Collin has been walking around today saying,
"Dave K____ is Cavity K____ there?"
So cute.

~~~~~~~
Zachy always says, "mommy, can you help me?" then does whatever it is he needed help with and says, "nebermind" I know this is common, but it sound so stinking cute coming out of his mouth.

~~~~~~~

I thought I had more funny things to tell you, but I guess not. Hope you're having a great week.

God is so good

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe God is in control of all things.
Today, I was getting ready to make some stuffing for Emily.
She, of course, crawled in the kitchen after me, and started pulling on my legs.
Now, I really didn't want to pick her up. I really wanted to get water on the stove to boil. I just needed to get the measuring cup and put it on..real quick.
But instead, I picked her up.
I then, opened the cupboard above the stove to get the measuring cup out. A big, glass, measuring cup.
The cookbooks on the other side and fallen down, pushing the measuring cups over. When I opened the cupboard, the cups came falling down, shattering into a million pieces...right where Emily had been sitting.
Instead, of being covered in glass, she was safe in my arms.
Thank you, God, for always looking out for even the smallest of us.

It's set

January 16, 2008..Zach will get his pacemaker.
It was awful to have that be the first thing I had to write in my new calendar, so I had to quickly write in some birthdays!
We're trying hard not to talk about it that much, because after all, we are dealing with a child here, not a pacemaker. But the other day we said something about God loving Zach, and he said, "yes, and he gave me a special heart, JUST ME" And he found all his doctor stuff and has been walking around with the stethoscope around his neck, wearing latex gloves, saying, "can I please fix your heart?" So yeah...he knows something is up.
BUT..for now..tis the season to count our blessings.
And we are so very blessed.
Zach, for all intents and purposes, is really really healthy. As are the rest of the kids. They are all such a joy.
Emily continues to be very high needs though. Not that this is bad. I do know it will pass, but golly...it's rough. Her upper right front tooth is finally starting to poke through. It has been so swollen lately, and I'm hoping it will make for a happier girl. We'll see. I think it's wishful thinking, but I will wish anyway.
As usual, she is pulling on my legs, and my time is up. Someday, I'll post and not be interrupted by a crab apple crying or pulling on me!

How to make him understand?

I'm really struggling with this right now. How do we help Zach understand why he will need surgery? How do we help him understand why he will be able to feel something inside his body?
We've told him a million times that God gave him a special heart, but that doesn't help when it comes to pain.
To him, he seems fine. He isn't sick, or hurting, or anything like that. Just tired. But that doesn't seem to bother him too much!
I just don't know. He's going to hurt. And he's not going to understand why. That's the worst part.
Funny thing, after he was done with the holter monitor, he looked at me and said, "Collin can wear the stickers next time" He was mad that they hurt coming off and wasn't going to do it again...Collin could. So funny.
Yes, I know the answer is that he won't understand. But still...I wish he could.

Lonely ol blog

I feel the need to write, only I don't know what to write about.
While unpacking boxes, I came across all my old journal entries. All of them since 2001. And I started reading.
I have grown so much in these last 7 years, changed so much, and yet, I'm still little ol me. But, I actually had something to say back then. Now, I struggle to find anything to fill this blog with. Partly, I'm a bit worried about who will find me. But I'm not going to let that run my life.
I just really feel as if I have nothing to say. So, I bore you with rambly boring posts. Lucky you!
Last night, I went to a Mended Little Hearts meeting. Thanks Maria, for telling me about it. It really is so great. I want to be part of this group so much. The problem is, they meet on Wednesday nights. Just once a month. But still, I'm committed to Adventurers. I'm the director, after all. It's really perplexing me. How might I be able to make it work. They do great things like hospital visitation. That's something I'd love to get in on. When Zach was born, logically, we knew we weren't alone, but there was no one around. No one ever came to sit with us and say, "We've been here...we know how you feel...it will be alright" In fact, it wasn't until we moved here that we met other heart parents. So, yeah, it's something I'd really like to do. Because it's lonely. And scary.
I'm waiting on the scheduling lady to call me back to schedule Zach's pacemaker surgery. We're doing it in January. Too soon for me. But, I know he'll be ok. God will take care of him. He always does.
Emily continues to be congested. The people who lived here before didn't have animals, so now I'm totally stumped. Because we live closer to the army post now, we've asked to change their pediatrician to one on post. Maybe the change will bring some answers with it. We'll see. For now, she is super needy, and super fussy.
And, she's now awake, so my moment of peace is over.

Holter results

We talked with the electrophysiologist yesterday. That's a big fancy word for cardiologist who specializes in pacemakers.
The results of the holter were good. Apparently, when the heart starts to slow down, it will start having spurts of rapid rates (tachycardia) in with the slow rates(bradycardia). Thankfully, Zachy hasn't gotten the tachy...yet. Once that happens, they say it is much harder to correct with a pacemaker.
So we are at a good point to pace. His heart, on average, beats 20 beats slower than it should. With it dropping into the 30s while he sleeps. He also has junctional rhthym. Both of these are pretty easily correctable with a pacemaker.
At this point, we have been given the option of pacing now or waiting. He will have to be paced soon anyway, and if we wait, we run the risk of waiting too long. Right now, his heart is swollen. We can correct that with a normal rhythm, but again, if we wait too long, it won't go back to it's correct size.
So, really, while we have the option to wait, it is best to proceed with the pacemaker.
We are looking at the second half of January. The kids are all in gymnastics, and we want him to finish out this session, which ends the 19th of January. He loves it so much, we can't bear to keep him from it.
As for me..I'm kind of having a hard time. It was one thing to talk about it before the holter. I think I was hoping they'd say it all looked great, no need to pace. But no such luck. Now it's real. And it's hard.
Logically, I know he'll be fine. But still...he's my baby. And there's always a risk. And it's scary!
I have faith that God will take care of him, and that's all I need. I just need to push any negatives out of my head.

That was quick

We are back up and running! Woohoo!!
This has been the best move ever.
First, we love our new house. And are actually sad that we are just renting it for two years!
Second, if you ever have the chance to have movers come and pack you up and move you, I recommend it highly. This is the way to go. Pack in one day, move in the next.
We are settling in nicely. I almost have the kitchen unpacked, which always seems to be the hardest for me. It's tough trying to find a place for everything. I actually have plenty of room for all our "stuff" at this house. I was worried that the kitchen was a bit small, but in reality, it's big enough.
Matt is off for thanksgiving and Friday this week, so we will have a good long weekend to, hopefully, finish up.
Tomorrow, we have to go to our old house and clean it up for our final inspection on Monday morning. I'll tell ya, I could do without this part. Next time, I think we may hire cleaners.
So that's us right now..unpacking in a great new house.
Oh and great news...the family behind us has 6 kids and they homeschool. How cool is that??
Alrighty, I'm off to bed. Nighty night.

Ta Ta For Now

I just restarted this blog, now I'm leaving it! At least I warned you!
The packers come tomorrow to pack us all up. That includes the computer because we're stuck in the stone ages and don't have a laptop.
We are set to get internet service started on Friday, but who knows when we'll get to the computer. Soon, rather than later, I'm sure.
In the meantime, please say a little prayer for Z.
He wears his holter monitor tomorrow. We are hoping that it won't show anything unexpected and that we can wait on the pacemaker until after the holidays. Of course, my mom thinks the drs need to come up with a better answer than a pacemaker! I wish.
Alrighty dear readers, I'll see you on the flip side! Have a wonderful week.

I'M BACK!

As some of you know, my last blog is now gone.
This is due to some unfortunate circumstances that took place in real life. In an effort to be a bit hard to find I have renamed my blog and moved. Hopefully, it works!
Since we last "spoke" so much has happened.
First, we got news that we have to move. They are taking over our buildings and sending us to civilian housing. This is actually great, it was just really short notice and at a very stressful time in our lives. But, we will get through it. We move next week. This may the first post and last for awhile during the move. Hopefully not!
In other major news, we found out that Z needs to get a pacemaker. His heart is swelling. It's a huge bummer. Last year we were told that his heart was looking great. Now, not so much.
Thankfully, it isn't urgent, so we get to have the holidays and then in January or February he'll be getting paced.
There is so much going on, and yet I can't get it out. I've just spent a good long while setting this blog up, and now I'm tired, but alas, I'm back.
Hope you didn't miss me too bad!!

New

New blog test

WE MADE IT!

After seven long weeks, Matt is back where he belongs. Right here at home.
Zachy said to him tonight, "Daddy, can you please stay with us?" It was so cute. They are so happy to have him home. Me too.
I totally admire single moms. This last 7 weeks was truly one of the hardest things I've ever done.
I assumed that since I got through him working while going to school, that it would be pie. Oh my, it so wasn't. It was so very, very hard.
But..I survived. As my neighbor said (her hubby came home from Iraq today, hooray!) it makes you realize just how strong you are.
Indeed.
And now I'm ready to crash.
I think we're going to six flags tomorrow, so no rest for us!
I'm so happy to have him home. :-)

Museum Fun

Took the kids to the museum yesterday. It was really fun!

The inevitable problem with blogging

I've seen it happen at so many blogs.
It's happened here.
People think that, because they read your blog, they know all there is to know about you.
You may think that there couldn't possibly be more to my life than what I write. The reality is, you are granted a tiny glimpse into my life. That doesn't mean you know me.
Even our far away family will tell you that they don't really know us anymore, now that they don't have regular contact with us. They don't know what our kids are into, they don't know what Matt and I enjoy doing, what shows we watch, etc. That comes from a personal, daily relationship with a person.
Therefore, for a reader to have any kind of strong opinion about me and my family, is crazy.
You may think you know what is best for my kids. But you don't even know my kids. Meeting them once or twice, if at all, is far from knowing them.
I think it is so easy to get sucked into that trap of thinking I'm telling you every detail of our lives. That I'm telling you every quirk the kids have, every personality trait. But no. You really don't know much.
Please, try to refrain from judging me, based on what you read here. Based on what you think would surely be best for my family.
The bottom line is this...God gave our kids to Matt and me. He didn't give them to you. He is guiding us in bringing them up. Please, don't question what we do with them. Rest assured that we pray daily about how we bring them up, and feel very guided to do the things we do.
Thank you for taking this post into consideration before you email me, or spout off to someone else about us.

Big Heavy Sigh

It's one of those nights.
A big, heavy sigh kind of night.
I'm missing Matt fiercely.
Yes, I have 5 kids to keep me busy. But that doesn't mean I'm not longing for Matt to be home.
Three weeks down. Four to go. Seems like an eternity.

Pictures

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love these kids.
I have been blessed far more than I deserve.

Just a little posty post

Just to say that all is well here.
We are finishing week three without Matt. Four more to go.
We had major van issues on Tuesday, that I'm proud to say we came through with flying colors. But it would have been MUCH easier with Matt around.
The kids started school this last week and my oh my are we busy.
They also started gymnastics last week. They all love it.
In general, we've just been really busy with life.
I, for the life of me, cannot figure out how mom's with loads of kids are able to update their blogs often. I'm struggling to find a minute or two to myself. And to put pictures up? Oh my.
Emmie is 6 months old tomorrow. How in the world did that happen? When my mom left she said, "see you when you're walking" and I laughed and said, "don't say that, that can't be true" But alas, it's already been 6 months since they were here. And 2 months since my inlaws were here. Time's a flyin! So, unless my mom gets her tookus out here soon, Emmie may well be walking when she sees here next.
We have a birthday party to go to this afternoon, so I'm off!

Working on a new layout

And it all takes time. This is as far as it goes today. For now anyway.
I got tired of the green.

A Village?

Happy kids

My dad is here.
He took his stuff up to his room and promptly pulled out a TMX Elmo. Collin and Zachy think it's pretty cool.
Then he came downstairs, stripped off his shirt and declared to the boys that it was time to pretend we're in the tropics.
In case you don't know, we're in the middle of tropical depression Erin. The boys were beyond thrilled to run outside in the rain.
Next time I looked, they were all on the trampoline, with Papa shooting them high in the air. I thought for sure they'd soar right over the net.
Then they decided they just had to swim in the rain. And much to their delight, papa hopped right in with them.
He's just like a big kid. And the real kids couldn't be happier.

Changes

Oh my. I stink at updating lately. I just don't have the gumption to sit and write.
Life is feeling pretty monotonous lately, so I don't write.
But alas!! CHANGES!!
First change, if you recall, we should be in Colorado right now. Well, as luck would have it, our plans had to change, and now Matt is in Colorado, and the kids and I are here. For seven long weeks. Although, we already have almost one under our belts.
I'm not complaining. I am so thankful that he is only in Colorado, and only for seven weeks. It's much better than Iraq!
Other changes include Emily. She is now on Singulair, in an effort to stop this coughing. The constant coughing. I'm thinking the pulmonologist thinks I'm just batty at this point. Because, of course, she doesn't cough around him. However, when the pastor's wife holds her, she manages to cough up phlegm on her. Lovely, indeed. It is all so very frustrating. If the Singulair doesn't help in about three weeks, then he wants to scope her and make sure she is anatomically correct. Ha, that sounds funny. But you get my point.
Em is now 5 months and 2 weeks, she started sitting up yesterday. All by her self. Such a big girl! And a big event like that, calls for a big celebration. So we celebrated today by giving her her first food! MMMMMM, she loved her bananas!
Normally, I'm a strict nothing-but-breatmilk-for-the-first-six-months type of mama, but she was so ready. She wanted to gobble everything up that went in my mouth!
And onto a totally different topic..my dad is coming to visit this weekend. We are all so excited. We really enjoy having visitors in these parts. Probably because we are so all alone here. But it's really ok. We have each other, and that's all that matters.
The school books have started to roll in. And the kids are getting pretty excited about school starting. As usual, I'm hoping to do a better job this year than last! I say that every year, and I think I do better every year!
I started this post talking about changes, but got sidetracked. Sorry. I have to go get to cleaning.

Yep, we sure were messy!

Matthew was taking pictures today.

Some pics from the birthday party

Happy Birthday

Dear sweet Collin! Happy birthday to you!
I cannot believe how fast the last 6 years have gone! How you have enriched our lives so much. You make me smile so many times during the day. Your smile is so contagious.
I'm so glad God gave you to us! We are the luckiest parents alive!
I love you more than words can say.
Happy Happy Birthday.

Events

Our lives are molded and shaped by all the events in our lives.
Whether they be good or bad events, they form us.
I've had many events in my life. Once, I was asked to do the sound effects for the community theater's production of South Pacific. It was there, that I met Matt. That small event, would pave the way for the rest of my life.
Because of that play, my life has changed in so many ways.
I've found out that I am much stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I think I can survive just about anything.
Four years ago, I was about to embark on a huge life changing event.
The birth of each of my five children, has changed my life.
At this time, four years ago, I was going through my first drug free labor. It was induced with Pit, so I guess it wasn't completely drug free. And once, I had a shot of nubane, just to gather my senses.
The birth of Zachary, was a pain I had never experienced. But the physical pain, was nothing compared to the pain my heart would feel over the next couple of days.
You all know the story. I won't bore you with it.
Every year since then, Zachy has grown to be an amazing person. He makes me laugh so much. And frustrates me all at the same time. He is so giving with his love and kisses.
I couldn't ask for more, he is my Zachy.
Happy Birthday sweet, sweet boy. You have shaped me in only a way you could. I love you more than you can ever imagine.

I'm not dead!

I've been asked if I'm still alive, and the answer is YES! Aren't you so glad?
So much has happened since my last update, I don't know where to start.
Maybe I'll do the short version! Wait, there's no such thing!
Ok, so Matt's parents came to visit the third week of June. We had such a great time! It was sad to see them go. We did all kinds of fun things like the Alamo, and Sea World, and even a mission or two. Unfortunately, the day we did the Alamo and Riverwalk it was sooo hot. It was pretty miserable. But we made the best of it anyway. Then a couple days it poured! Phooey! We never did make it down to the coast. This was a huge bummer. When we lived in Ohio, Matt's parents came to visit and we were going to go to Niagara Falls, but we had a blizzard! This time the rain ruined things. Oh yes, and a baby who HATES the carseat! Maybe next time they come we'll make it down there!
As for said baby...she is doing great! The night Matt's parents got in we got a new to us couch and love seat. Suddenly, Em's breathing got better! Then there was a definite pattern to her crying. She cried when her meds for the reflux wore off. But we quit the breathing treatments and she has done great. We know we are dealing with an allergy for sure now. She has started to roll over now, but I don't put her down too much because when she is down on the ground (even on a blanket) her face is breaking out.
Stupid dog, I seriously cannot get rid of her. No one will take her. The humane societies are all full. I have no idea how to get rid of her, short of taking her to the country and dumping her...which I wouldn't do! She has to go though. We are on the waiting list at a couple humane societies, so pray for an opening for us!
Emily sees the pulmonologist on Monday, and we are going to keep that appointment. We just finished up VBS, it was a wild west theme and we had hay and all sorts of horse stuff in the chapel. Em's breathing was bad then. So, we need to see how to control all of this.
She saw the gastro who said it sounded like we were doing a good job controlling the reflux, which I agree about.
We also saw a new ped for her four month check. I really liked her, even if she wasn't that pro breastfeeding! Oh well. Can't win them all.
Matthew finished up pathfinders and was awarded pathfinder of the year. YAY MATTHEW!! So Matthew was pathfinder of the year, Dill was adventurer of the year, and Collin was Eager Beaver of the year. All their hard work paid off for them, and we're so proud!
In August we are headed to Colorado Springs for 6 weeks. It will be so nice to have a break from Texas for awhile. They needed a temporary audiologist, so Matt volunteered to go. Fun times!
Let's see..what else? I don't know. How abot some cute poop stories??
Zachy insists on getting naked to poop, and we still have to wipe his bottom. So he called for us to come wipe him. When Matt walked in, Zachy was sitting on the pot, in the classic meditation stance...heels together, elbows resting on his knees, middle finger and thumb together..chanting "ummmm..yucka yucka yucka..ummmm..yucka yucka yucka yucka" So funny!
The week of VBS, Collin was having some intestinal issues. He was in the bathroom when I heard, "oh no..I pooped a little in my pants" Then a horrified, "OH DEAR" I asked what was wrong, "it's melted" he replied!! It was just a tad in his pants, by the way.
The melted poop carried on for several days. I had to stop by Family Christian Book store on my way to church one night. And Collin said, "I have to poop, and I know it will be melted" So we hurry to the bathroom. It was one with just one toilet and sink. It took awhile so I was standing there nursing Emily. He is pooping, while someone is rattling on the door. I hollar out that someone is in the bathroom. It was Zachy. He had to go. He had to go now or else he was going to poop his pants! His had melted by this time as well. So, I'm standing there, nursing Em, telling Collin to take a break and let Zachy sit down so Zachy doesn't poop his pants. Collin freaked out that he would then poop his pants. I'm trying to plead with him to get up so Zach won't poop his pants. It was mighty comical I'm sure. But no one pooped their pants. When I opened the door, there was a line of people waiting to use the bathroom! HOW EMBARASSING!
Anyway, that's it..my poop stories, and my update. Have a great week!

Creative Memories

Hey all! I'm having a creative memories party at my house next Thursday. I wish you all could be there. I have never used creative memories for scrapping, but it looks like they have really expanded their products. Go have a look. You can order for my party on the internet. Just let me know if I can help you!

Just a quick update

ok real quick like...Em saw the dr on Monday. He agreed with the other dr that she needs to be seen by a pulmunologist and a gastro doc. She is scheduled to see the gastro doc on July 3. Still waiting on the pulmunology appt. He also ordered allergy testing, but I'm not holding my breath that they will be conclusive. They did a nasal wash to rule out RSV as well. It was negative. They upped her breathing treatments to twice a day.
So now we just wait, I guess. *sigh* It's really pain, I wish we had answers, now.
OK, off to clean, must get ready for the in law visit.

I feel like I'm running on one brain cell

OK, so a few people have emailed me and asked me to update.
I realize it's been a long time, I just have a lot happening right now.
First and foremost is Emily.
What is wrong with my precious baby?
As you all know, she has been very congested, for...oh..ever.
The last time I posted, I said that she had her upper GI and did not have reflux. Well, the dr called me to tell me these results. I was so upset. I said, "then tell my why she is so congested and wheezing so badly!" He said he didn't know, but he could tell I wanted her to be seen again, and since it was going to be memorial day weekend, I could bring her in on Friday.
I was all prepared for this meeting. I took video of her breathing so he could see that she was really retracting and trying hard to breathe. It wasn't needed. When the nurse called us back, she freaked. She pulled the dr out of the room he was in and said he had to look at her NOW. They immediately started a breathing treatment. After two treatments, she was still wheezing, but not so bad that she needed to stay there. He told me at that point that the upper GI had said she didn't have reflux, but based on what I had said and her symptoms, he was going to treat her anyway. So we left with meds and a new nebulizer to treat her every 4 hours.
Over the weekend her cying escalated. There was no consoling her. It was awful.
On Tuesday when we went back in, the dr hung his face in his hands and said, "something is wrong with your baby, and I don't know what" He then told me she would be sent to a pulmunologist and gastroenterologist. Finally, we'd be getting somewhere.
That Saturday, we got a letter in the mail announcing the drs retirement, stating he'd be seeing no more patients.
Now, I had been fed up with him because this has been going on so long and he really hasn't helped much. In fact, I was ready to find a new dr after this ordeal was over. This put us in a pinch.
I decided to make the specialist appointments and work on switching her provider. Little did I know that that would be impossible. The gastro dr is booking in March! March folks. She'll be a year old. The pulmunologist can't see her till the end of July.
Thankfully, I was able to call Tricare and tell them what is going on. They got her a PCM immediately, and she has an appointment on Monday. I didn't like our former military dr experiences, so I'm praying it goes better this time.
She is still on breathing treatments daily, and still wheezes and is horribly congested.
Through all of this, she tries very hard to be a happy baby. She smiles and I just know a laugh is in there somewhere.
Dillon and Collin had their ending program for adventurers last Saturday. Dillon got Adventurer of the year. We were pretty proud of him!!
Last Sunday, we took Dillon to camp. He was there for the week. I missed him terribly. He had a great time.
We picked him up today and dropped Matthew off for his week. He is totally excited because he gets to do waterskiing this year. Fun times.
Last week I spent dejunking the kid rooms. Everything is nice and in place now. We'll see how long that lasts.
Also, on Thursday, Collin lost his first tooth!
This week my in laws are coming to visit. We are very excited about it, and plan to do lots of fun stuff with them.
In our free time, we are busy working on VBS. It is going to be a huge success this year. We are holding it the last week in June.
I'll be so glad when July hits. No plans, so far. It will be nice to stop being so hectic!
So there you have it, a big long entry from me...you asked for it!!

More Emily Cuteness

First off, let me say that Em had her upper GI this morning and she does NOT have reflux. Which is oh so frustrating for me. It puts us right back at square one. Something is wrong with my baby, and I don't know what. GRRRRRR
Anyway, here are some pictures from last night, Matthew and Dillon were playing with her trying to get her to smile.

An answer...finally..and some pics

So Emily just seemed to be getting sicker and sicker. She was constantly choking and gagging. Starting last Wednesday, she was throwing up every morning. On Sunday, her breathing got pretty labored. I decided it was time to see the dr. So we went to the ER yesterday. And the dr said, "she has reflux". He said that she would need an upper GI but that he could tell it was reflux. He started her on pepcid yesterday, and already she is improving. Still really congested, but not nearly as fussy.
Today, we followed up with the ped and she now has an upper GI scheduled for Wednesday morning. I hope it is simple. And I hope we get the answer to all of her misery, once and for all.
I was asked to put some more pictures of her up here, but the reality is, we don't have many. Why? Because she is constantly crying and in our arms, or sleeping. But you've seen lots of sleeping pics. So tonight we got some other pics. And here they are, along with some of Collin, just because he suddenly seems so grown up to me.





I don't know if you can tell in this picture that she is trying to get her jammies in her mouth. Her hands are constantly in her mouth, and she puts anything she can get her hands on in it. It's awfully cute!


This is a picture from a mother's day tea that Collin's adventurers class put on. They sang a few songs for us and told us about their favorite Bible friend. Collin's was Jesus. No surprise there! :-)

Wilderness

OK, not really the wilderness, but at one of the missions, there was a short nature trail along the river. It was the prettiest place I've ever seen in Texas. There were millions of caterpillars, and if you stood still, poop would fall on your head. You could hear the poop hitting the leaves. It was really wierd.

Mission fun

I didn't bring the camera on our first day. So here are some pictures from the last two missions we went to. Unfortunately, they were the most rubbled of the missions. Someday, I'll get pictures of the other ones.
What struck me the most about these, is that they are still working churches. And in the one with the well, there are actually still francsicans living there.

Our usual night

Here are some pictures of our usual night. I don't know what we ever did without an exercise ball in the past!

Hail Storm

Awhile ago, there was a huge hail storm. It's been pretty stormy around here lately. In fact, a couple of weeks ago we sat through a tornado warning siren going off. We didn't know it was for a tornado, but heard an announcement saying to seek shelter. Now we know.

I'm having a bad day

I'm sure I've titled posts that way before, but it's been awhile!
Things here have been so crazy. We are still trying to find a home for Sadie. Who knew this could be so hard??
On Sabbath, we went over to some new friends' house, who have no dander. Emily did great. She didn't cry, and she wasn't stuffy, and she smiled like mad at their baby boy.
I honestly just want to move the heck out of here, and go somewhere with hardwood floors. I hate hardwood floors, but this house is probably packed full of dander and who knows what else. It seems nearly impossible to move though.
Zachy is acting up. I know he is still dealing with not being the baby, but he is being awful. Last night he flooded the bathroom with water and shampoo. Earlier today, he dumped the entire gallon of milk on the ground. *sigh* He is really testing me.
This morning I thought that Emily and I were soaking from a leaky breast, but no...Zachy had come into our bed this morning and his goodnight leaked everywhere.
It was super windy last night, and it uprooted our canvas gazebo thingie, bent the metal nearly in half, it's toast.
It's only noontime and it's been a rough morning. Hopefully things improve this afternoon.
In good news, Dillon finished all his math today. We are so close to being done with the school year. Matthew has one more math lesson. They are done with their grammar. There is no time limit on history, so we'll stop that soon. We've taken a detour from the regular history, and have started to learn about the missions here. We went to them on Thursday and Friday, and the kids had a blast. I was shocked, I thought they'd be bored.
That reminds me, I have some pictures I need to post from there. OK, no more complaining about the day..off to upload pics.

Sorry

I don't know when I'll be back in the swing of things.
Last night was awful. Crying. Crying. Crying.
In fact, at one point I was just ready to go to the ER. She finally stopped.
Something hurts.
Tonight is better though.
I think she is actually asleep in there with Matt..so I'm off to bed.