A little more about Emmie

My dad was here for the weekend and is now home safe and sound in Oregon. We had a nice visit, and it was really nice to have him here for Emmie's surgery. We had to be there at 5:30 and it was nice to not have to worry about the boys.
Emmie's surgery went well. It took them three hours instead of one and a half because nothing ever goes as planned with my family! Most of the time was spent trying to get an IV in place. Her hands and feet are now massive bruises. Poor punkin.
I keep thinking this may have been a blessing in disguise. The dentist said she is definitely refluxing. The decay on the back of her teeth was so great they were cupping. So like if you took them out, laid them on their fronts, they would be like a cup.
I hope so much that we will be able to treat this and finally have a happy baby.
We had looked into reflux a long time ago, and she was actually treated for it, but it was more in response to the fact that she couldn't breathe. That has resolved itself, but evidently the reflux hasn't.
I was looking on line for symptoms in toddlers and they fit her to a T so I'm really hopeful that she will get treated and finally be happy. Or at least not totally miserable.
Pictures to follow, so be on the lookout. After we get school done I'll work on uploading them and posting them.
~~~~~
My kids are outside playing, would you believe it is cold here?? I need to check the temperature, but they are all in pants and jackets and sock and shoes. Very unusual for them!

Emily

Just wanted everyone to know that Emily is home from surgery and doing well.
As usual, things took longer than normal. The one and half hour surgery ended up being three hours. But alas, all is well that ends well!

To put your minds at ease

I've received several emails asking me about Ike.
As of right now, it doesn't look like we will get much of anything from the hurricane.
Last night, on the news, they were telling us to get our emergency supply kits together, and to be ready because we would likely lose power and deal with tornadoes.
However, Ike appears to be headed more east today, so they are now predicting some strong winds and rain, but not much else around here.
The people who really need your prayers are the folks from Houston and Galveston. Last I checked, there wasn't a mandatory evacuation for them, and our newscasters were saying they are VERY concerned about that.
At any rate, we should be nice and safe here in San Antonio!

Drum Roll Please

We got the cast list today!
Matthew got the part of Grandpa Joe, and Dillon got Mike TeeVee.
They are both really excited about it!
And now, some pictures..that have nothing to do with any wonkaness, just pics I came across and are too cute to not share!






This picture makes me laugh. While she is thrilled to love on her brother, she's not so sure about the cousin hugs!! So cute!

How to look good Naked

Lifetime has a show called How to Look Good Naked. I have never watched this show, but was alerted by the CHD community that last night's episode would be about a girl named Heather.
Heather had a complex chd and had a very hard time getting past her scars.
Ya'll I sat there with tears streaming down my face the entire show. It was so good.
Kudos to Lifetime for even getting the words Congenital Heart Defect out there. I believe people can live their entire lives and never hear that term. And yet, it's the number one birth defect. Go figure.
I desperately hope that boys view their scars differently. Although, in some ways I think it may be harder for them. After all, girls wear swimsuits that cover the midline scar nicely.
The other day, we were looking through scrapbooks. Now, Zachy asks me why his face was purple. At five, he doesn't get that his heart was broken. That makes no sense to him. He will also ask why he has scars. Again, he doesn't grasp that there is a machine in his body telling his heart to beat!
I just hope that he doesn't deal with self esteem issues because of his scars. I hope he knows always that he is a hero.

If you're of the praying variety

If you happen to be a praying person, please say a few for my family.
First, on Thursday, Matthew has an ophthalmology appointment. If you recall, awhile ago, I wrote about Matthew having pain in his eye. He hasn't had any recently, but this appointment will tell us if the drop still has his pressure under control. So please pray that his glaucoma is being controlled.
Secondly, Emmie is having surgery on Friday. It's minor, just to cap her teeth, but she will still be under general anesthetic. Just pray that all goes well there.
My dad is coming in tomorrow, so he will be able to watch the other kids while Em is in surgery, so that is nice. Pray for a safe trip for him as well.
Thanks in advance. If you aren't of the praying type, please think good thoughts for us!

Willy Wonka Jr

Matthew and Dillon are taking an acting workshop.
They will be putting on Willy Wonka Jr in November, but besides just doing the play they are learning things. The first two nights they've learned how to do a proper audtion, how to project, and upstage, downstage, stage right, etc.
Sunday they auditioned. I think I'm more anxious than they are to see what parts they got. We have to wait till Thursday, and it's killing me!! I do hope they get good parts because they worked hard on their auditions.
You may recall them doing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory three years ago, and they were oompa loompas. I hope they don't have to be oompa loompas again, but they both said they would be happy even if they had to pull the curtain.
I'll keep you all posted!

A sight to behold

This morning, I was in my room and peeked out the window. I thought, "how odd, it doesn't look that windy" but there were leaves flying all around. And then, I realized it wasn't leaves at all, but butterflies!
I called all the boys up and we just watched the butterflies for a bit. They weren't too impressed.
I decided to google why in the world there were so many butterflies, and came across an article from 2006. When the drought caused the wasps that normally eat the butterfly larva to die, and we were beseiged by butterflies. Snout butterflies to be exact. I had forgotten that. I don't know how, because I put pictures of it and everything on my blog.
I wonder if that is what is going on again. Because there are just hundreds of them.
My bed sits a bit higher than the bottom of my window, so whilst I was nursing Emmie down for a nap, I just watched the butterflies swirling all about.
I'd put up pictures, but I just don't think you can really see the butterflies that well. You just have to imagine, tiny black butterflies, flitting about like mad. Once in awhile, I'd hear a tiny "thud" as they hit the window.
Totally cool, if you ask me!

*edited to add, I tried to take a picture of them, but they are just too fast.

Just stuff

Last week, one by one, my kids battled illness. From ear infections to bronchitis. Loads of fun, and doctor visits. Now, thankfully, everyone is on the mend.
To celebrate, we went to six flags yesterday. Well, not really to celebrate. We simply went because it was the last day the water park was open, and we hadn't been yet. It was hot. And crowded. Lest you be concerned that we can't keep track of all our kids amongst throngs of people, let me assure you that they are easy to spot. You see, my kids are TWKEs. The Whitest Kids Ever. They stand out among the crowd. It is impossible to see that we live in south Texas and that we wear shorts year round. We have no tans to speak of. All I kept noticing were the darkly tanned bodies around me, and how conspicuous our family was!
As we were leaving, a crowd of young people (early 20s? dang, I'm old) was in front of us. In short time, there was a fight. Two guys against one. Right in front of us. The sound of fists hitting bodies is still fresh in my ears. What point does fighting serve? Seriously. I guess it's human nature though. Thankfully, security was there in no time flat. Then the girls were trying to convince the security guards that no one was actually fighting. Here's the sad thing, during the fight, a little girl went and grabbed her dad's arm, "PLEASE STOP DADDY!!" While he was hitting the other guy. She was not hit at all, but can you imagine??? Horrible.
Today was our first day of school. It was a smashing success, and tonight I'm tired. No rest for the weary though. It's now time to get kiddies ready for bed to start again tomorrow. It's looking like it's going to be a great school year. I officially have a 7Th, 4Th, 1st, and K this year. And little Emmie tagging along. Fun times indeed!!

Great Wolf Lodge

On our way back from Missouri, we stopped at the Great Wolf Lodge. The kids had such a good time that we would like to make it at least a yearly trip.
There is a game there where you buy a wand that is programmed by a computer. On all eight floors of the lodge are pictures and statues and different things. There are 13 different games and 3 adventures. It is like a big scavenger hunt. You read the clue, then find the object it is talking about, wave your wand and move on to the next item. At the end you battle a dragon. Matthew and Dillon did all of it, and Collin and Zachy did parts of it.
They also all got airbrushed tattoos. For some reason, I don't have a picture of Dillon's in the slideshow, but it was a wolf head.
There was also an animatronic show in the lobby that the kids thought was cute.
We wanted to stay in the area and finish the scavenger hunt game, so we actually stayed in a campground the second nigh..that's where the s'mores picture is from!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Fall is on it's way

I love fall. I love the smell of cool crisp air. The crunch of leaves under your feet. The cozy feel of rainy days. The smell of baking (cool days lend themselves to lots of baking around here!) in the oven. Everything about fall..I love it.

But, my love of fall is being threatened. For one thing, there is no fall in San Antonio. The leaves never change color. They just die, and one day they're gone.
There is no cool crisp air. There are rarely any rainy days, and when it rains, it's still quite warm outside.
More than that though, the last two falls have been very dark times in our lives. Two years ago wasn't as bad as last year, but last year was one of the worst times of my life.
I have been praying that this fall will be different. That there will be no upheavels. That life will go on as scheduled.
I do not want to hate fall. I want to love it again.
No matter what though, there will always be pumpkin ice cream, and cheesecake, and bread, and......

Come back please, and comment!

Will the reader who searched for "post TAPVR repair & pacemakers." to get to my site please come back and post a comment? I can only assume that you too, are dealing with a TAPVR kiddo being paced. I would love to chat with you! Please come back! :-)

How did that happen?

Yesterday, my sweet baby boy turned 12. He was born at 11:54 pm and stayed up till then. Which is why I'm still awake. He yelled out, "I'm TWELVE!!" My heart sank.
How is time getting away from me? I remember that night, twelve years ago, so clearly. How could twelve years possibly have passed already? And how quickly will the next twelve go? If he follows in our footsteps, I'll be a grandma in twelve years, twice. Wow, that's an eye opener.
He is turning into such a wonderful young man. His sister is certain that he hung the moon, and he urges her on! He loves that little girl so fiercely. At night, she goes and crawls in bed with him, lays her head on his pillow, while he talks to her and tells her night night. She says, "ni-ni" and kisses him, then climbs down. She does this all on her own. So so cute. It makes my heart melt.
All of his brothers adore him, even if they don't quite want to admit it. Just today, Zachy said, "you're a good brother, Matthew" AWWWWWW!!!
To celebrate, he decorated his own cupcakes. We then went to the mirror maze and went through the maze for about an hour. We also did a lazer vault thing where you had to dodge the lazers going across the room and make it to the other side. The boys thought that was so much fun.
And now, I officially have a preteen. I don't feel like I've been a mommy for that long. I still am astonished when people ask for any kind of parenting advice. I shouldn't be, because we've been at this for awhile now, with several different personalities, but I still feel like a novice. Some day, when they're all grown, I may feel a bit more experienced.
I love this kid more than anyone could love their first born son. He is such a precious, precious gift. We are truly blessed to have him

I'll share pictures soon, for now I'm off to bed!

Funny, this says I posted at 8 this evening. I started it then. I actually posted it after midnight on the 25th, which is why I said his birthday was yesterday. But Matthew's birthday is indeed the 24th.

He is a funny one, that boy

We're watching soccer. US against Brazil. US just scored first. The crowd went wild. Dillon jumped off the couch, "YES!!" Zachy says, "USA Exclamation point wins??"
Where in the world did he get the exclamation point part???

Craniofacial Board Today

We had a long, busy day today.
Matthew got hooked up with the craniofacial board today. The purpose of this was to establish him with the plastic surgeons and ENTs here on base. Of course, the craniofacial board includes speech, audiology, oral surgery, orthodontia, pediatrics, genetics, plastic surgery, and ENT. Everyone sees him. Except, genetics. We needed to see them, and they didn't show up. Phooey on them! We had some unanswered questions for them.
Everything was as expected, except for a couple of things.
The first being that this base actually provides orthodontic care for children. Most do not. I didn't know this. Matthew is to the point where he just needs braces. Once all his permanent teeth come in. We've already used up his lifetime maximum amount of insurance coverage, so we are looking at paying 100% of his braces. If I can get him taken care of on base, it'd be free. We are definitely going to go forth with this plan as his teeth come in.
The second is that the ENT says it's time for his tonsils and adenoids to come out. Matthew says no way, he thinks his body parts need to stay right where they are. We go back in September, after Matt and I have discussed it, to schedule everything. We will be going forth with this too.
The plastic surgeon and ENT both agreed that he still has too much growing to do to be worrying about his final rhinoplasty. Originally, we were told 12-13 years old. Today they agreed on 15-16. So that makes Matthew happy. Although, when we left, I asked him how he felt about it. He admitted that sometimes his nose really bothers him. There's not much we can do about it though. Just wait.
So that is about it from the board.
In different news, Emmie saw the dentist last week. She essentially has bottle rot. We are so devastated about this since she doesn't take a bottle and we brush her teeth regularly. After finding out about the different meds she's been on, including inhaled steroids for months while her teeth were coming in, and reflux and whatnot, the dentist said her poor mouth didn't have a chance. So I feel better about that, at least we didn't do anything wrong. But, she has to have caps on all four of her front teeth. Which will be a sedated surgery at the hospital.
So, this year we will have had Zachy get a pacemaker, Matthew have oral surgery to remove teeth that were ankylose, Emmie getting caps, and Matthew's tonsils and adenoids out. That's about 4 too many surgeries this year for me!!
So that's what's up in our neck of the woods today!

Vacation!!

I don't know what's wrong with me. I just haven't had it in me to post. Since returning from our trip I've been busy cleaning out rooms. Just going through kid clothes and getting ready for the upcoming school year. Speaking of which, we'll be starting sometime in September. My dad is coming to visit on the 10Th, so I think we'll wait till the following week. That way we don't do three days and then stop. Or maybe not, we'll see how things go.
Some of you asked about our trip. Here are some details.
We left Friday after Matt got off work and camped in West, Texas. Which is actually in east Texas. It was hot and miserable. We had to roll over every once in awhile because we were sweating so much. Just to air off the side that had been down.
The next day we drove to Missouri, where we were able to camp out in my brother and sister-in-law's house. THANKS GUYS!!
When we got there, all of Matt's family was already there. They had come along to help drive the moving truck.
We stayed with them until Wednesday. We had a great time, and got to meet our niece for the first time. Now we just have one other niece that we have yet to meet.
While there, we celebrated Zachy's birthday. He's such a big boy. Although yesterday he said to me, "mommy, why do you love me so much? Oh, I think I know why." Me, "oh? Why?" "Because I'm so little!" HA!! I'll love him just as much when he's big.
So Wednesday afternoon we headed out. We made it into Wagoner, Oklahoma, where we got a motel and stayed the night. They only had suites left, so we took a suite. I tell ya though, it was the size of a regular hotel room, I'm sure of it. Two kids still had to sleep on the floor.
We loved the vegetation in Oklahoma and Missouri. Who knew they were such beautiful states?? I wouldn't mind living there.
Thursday, we went to Grapevine, Texas. To the Great Wolf Lodge. My oh my, that was so fun. If you're not familiar with the Great Wolf Lodges, they are hotels with indoor water parks. Only guests of the hotel can use the water park, so it isn't overly crowded. Although, it was packed when we were there, so there were still lines for water slides. We used the water park on Thursday and Friday. We had read about Grapevine, and decided to camp there Friday night and just look around the town. We hung out till early afternoon on Saturday, then headed home.
Sunday was Collin's birthday. He's the big 7. How is this happening? We took him to chuck e cheese's for dinner.
It was such a great vacation, but we were glad to get home. Lots of driving involved. And Emily didn't really enjoy that part, so it was a bit stressful.
I don't know why I didn't put pictures of Matt and his brother in the last set. I know they don't like their kids on the net, but I put his sister and sister in law on, so here's a picture of Matt and his siblings. And his whole family. In case you're new to my blog, my beloved is on the left.


Please know that we don't always dress alike. The pictures had been thoroughly planned, and yet we still forgot to do one of Matt's parents with all of us. They wanted it for their Christmas card. Silly us! By the time we remembered, his sister had already left. But I tell ya, there were probably hundreds of pictures shot that day, scrolling through them is quite dizzying! All those stripes!
There w as also a ton of laughter going on, and honestly, it's a miracle there are any decent shots!
So all in all, a great trip!

Photos from our trip

Just some random family photos we took on the trip

Home again, Home again

We're home.
What a great vacation we had.
I have so much to write about, a pictures to share, but I just don't have the umph.
I have tons of laundry to do, and now a very messy house to clean up.
How does that happen? It was clean when we walked in!
We did learn that camping in Texas in August is something we will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER do again. The two nights we spent in the tent were pure misery. The other nights were spent inside though, so all was well.
I'm off to put away some clothes. Then it's off to the post office!

Figures

We haven't been on a vacation since 2005. This will be our first time to leave Texas since moving here three years ago. We are all very excited. Did I mention we will be camping? As in, outdoors.
All seven of us have come down with sore throats, stuffy noses, and coughs.
We're pushing the vitamin C and praying everyone can get well before we leave.
What a rotten time to be getting sick.

Public Education at it's Finest

On my way home from the bank, I drove past the local high school. I just had to take this picture. I could say so much about it, but will refrain.
I will say this, I'd hate to be the parent of a Junior..who knows when their registration day is. And I wonder how many "Cafes" they have. If you are the lucky parent of a Senior, you can circle the block and get the sign from the other side. That's where their info is.
I wonder if they teach grammar or spelling to their kids. Maybe the administration is exempt from having to have grammar or spelling skills. OR..maybe..as my kids say..they just spell things differently than most people. Yeah..that must be it.
Whatever it is, I think I'll just keep my kids home.

Sew much to do

Oh my. I think I've taken on a bigger sewing project than I should have.
I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.
I was hoping to get it all done today.
Then tomorrow was going to be laundry day.
Thursday I was going to pack.
Friday I was going to clean so we could leave after Matt got home.
I just don't think the sewing will get done today. I actually know it won't.
Emmie is getting sick and is a CRAB-O. Figures.
I can't wait till all the sewing is done though. I'll be sure to take pictures so you all can see my handy work. Can't tell you what it is though, because it's still a surprise for certain people in our family.
OK, gotta run to the bank! See..too much to do!

The point at which my heart breaks

My kids are watching the Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus 3-D Concert.
Dillon, Collin, and Zachy keep saying, "whoa! that's cool"
The problem is, you can't see 3-D images when you are blind in one eye.
Matthew is watching, and says he is enjoying it, but still, I know it must be hard to hear his brothers talking about how cool it looks. It just kills me.
He's such a great sport, and just accepts it, but as a mom..it breaks my heart.

I knew there was more than one of me!

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 266 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

The Queen

It's true, around these parts I am indeed, the Queen.
I mean, it only makes sense.
I help run a small kingdom here, so queen is a fitting title.
Besides, if Emmie is a princess, I must be a queen.
We have the tent set up in the garage, letting it air out. I told Matt I am too old to sleep on the ground anymore, and that we needed an air mattress. So we got a fancy schmancy ordinary flock topped queen mattress. We laid all the pads out and the mattress to see how well everyone would fit. I gasped. The mattress is tiny. Much to tiny for a queen like me!
You see, we have a king size bed, so to then look at a queen was shocking.
No worries though, Matt informed me he would sleep on the ground, because he wasn't that old. *snort*
So the princess and the queen will be sleeping on an air matress, while the king and his princes sleep on the ground. I don't feel too special though, because I've never known an air mattress that doesn't pop!
Speaking of being a queen..my all time favorite queen sentiment is, 'I know I'm a queen, my pantyhose say so'
For all you thin, young whippersnappers who might not know, when you get into plus size nylons ( I don't even think they call them nylons anymore..what are they??) they are called queen sizes.
OK, I'm off to sew. My shoulders hurt from sewing yesterday, but alas, I must get it done.
The queen has left the building blog.

Funnies

Collin thinks that whatever he does, he can say it was an accident, and all will be well. Only he tells us, "it was on ass-ki-dent". It is so funny. He cannot get that word right.

Yesterday, the kids were playing Cars on the Wii. Mater said, "when I grow up, I'm going to be a monster truck" Zachy yells out, "ME TOO MATER!" Oh boy, I hope not.

Tonight, at dinner we were discussing the fact that I say something and the kids don't even acknowledge me. Zachy says, "maybe you should get new kids who listen to you. We'll go live somewhere else..like grandma's" AAAHHH Break my heart. This from the same child who always tells me, "I mit you ho ho mutt mommy"(I miss you so s much mommy) when I run to the store by myself.

OK, it's tired, I can't think of anything else. But I had to write down the asskident. So cute.

Too many projects!

I have too many things going on. All by choice, so I need to prioritize. I just suddenly got a hobby bug.
I decided to sew birthday gifts for my nephews and niece. While doing this, all the kids decided they wanted their own. So, now I'm working on 8 sewing projects. I have Dillon's done, but Matt decided he wanted one too. I'm almost done with my eldest nephew's.
I also am working on a photobook at shutterfly.
And two nights ago, the kids all pulled out their scrapbooks and were looking through them. I haven't scrapped in ages, and haven't scrapped anything of Emmie. So now I'm wanting to scrap.
So I guess I'm only technically working on two projects. But I want to be done with the sewing to get to the scrapping.
I'm really limited though. I basically sew when Emmie is asleep. So, an hour during the day and at night after she goes to sleep.
I've been thinking of sewing for my other nieces too, but we'll see. I may be all sewed out.
I guess this is all a good thing. I have a nice comfy, warm home to let hobbies grow in. Yep, it is a good thing.

Bum Genius Giveaway

There's an awesome giveaway going on at Baby Cheapskate.
Go see! Now!! What are you waiting for???

Severe Cuteness

These are just some random photos from the last couple days. I was going to caption all of them, but it's late, and I think you all know who is who by now.
For VBS, Matt was a crazy mad scientist. The kids have been wearing his wig and glasses all the time.

Getting ready!!

We are headed out for vacation next weekend. I'm getting really excited.
We'll be camping and visiting with all my in laws. All of Matt's immediate family, and his grandma and aunt. Also, some family friends will be there. So very exciting!
We haven't been camping since Zachy was a baby. And he managed to get pneumonia on that trip. How fun to go from the campsite to the ER.
We are also going to The Great Wolf Lodge on our way home. This is a huge birthday surprise for all the kids. I am super duper excited about that. They are going to have a blast. Last Sunday, we went to a pool with water slides. Zachy and Collin were too little to go on the slides and they were so sad about it. I'm excited to be able to go somewhere where they can slide.
We have lots to do to get ready, but it's all so fun!

The bush

My house desperately needs some cleaning, and I don't wanna do it! That was me stomping my feet like a two year old.
I have no energy. I think I'm still recovering from VBS. I can pretend anyway!
I really have nothing interesting to say, I just don't want to do anything.
I do have a crazy story though.
In between our house and the neighbor's is a big hedge. When we first moved in the neighbor told me, "don't touch that hedge, it hides my truck". Oky doky. Since we rent I had no intention of touching the hedge.
Yesterday though, our landlord had a different idea. He started hacking away at it. Now, understand that this was a leafy hedge, and very tall. To prune it you would have needed a tall ladder. Now, it is about 3 feet high. And of course, the tops are all naked. No biggie, it will fill back in.
Last night, the neighbor came pounding at out door. He wanted to know who did it. He was fuming mad. And how stupid. I mean really, we rent, we have no say over what the landlord can and cannot do to his yard! We don't particularly like it because now we can see all the neighbor's junk. But, it isn't ours, so we can't complain! Oh man, you would have thought that this bush was gold or something, the way the neighbor was going on and on about it!
Then later, Matt had to run an errand. When he came home he said, "did you hear S**** yelling at me?" He had let into Matt about how the bush was on the property line and as much his as it was our landlord's. Which, isn't true, it is clearly in our yard. He said he'd be reporting it to the home owner's association and he'd be in big trouble. He also said he was going to come and chop it down at the trunk.
OK, people..have you gotten it? It's a BUSH!!! For heaven's sake, Matt and I cannot believe that people would get so worked up about a bush! And one that doesn't belong to them!!
So, the landlord came to finish today. I told him and his wife what had taken place. The landlord says, let him cut it down, I'll sue him. And funny enough, our landlord is the architectural person for the home owner's association. Apparently, he owns 4 houses in this subdivision that he rents. I thought we were the only ones in here.
I just think the whole this is so funny. A bush. S**** just doesn't like it because now you can see all his junk. I don't like it because now I can see them! But I'm not going to make a fuss over it! Petty stuff, folks!
We'll see what the neighbor has to say this evening when he gets home from work. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if he had stayed home from work today to give the landlord an earful. We had told him that our landlord would be back to finish up, so we really expected him to stay home. That's how upset he was.
OK, now I really must go clean. I still don't wanna!!
Have a great weekend everyone!

Technology amazes me

Awhile ago, I wrote about the results of Zachy's carelink.
It is absolutely amazing to me the things we are able to do in this day and age.
First, it is crazy to think that there is a gadget, embedded in his chest that is making his heart beat correctly.
And then, to be able to do these carelinks. We hook this machine up to the phone line, he puts a disc over the pacemaker, and all the information is drawn out and sent to the dr.
CRAZY!
The dr was talking about how they are working on biological pacemakers right now. He said in Zachy's lifetime, he thinks they will be able to implant a microchip into his heart, and it will work as the pacemaker. AND..it wouldn't have a battery to wear out, or lead wires to break. How cool that would be!
Yes, technology is definitely amazing!

A bit loco

Our VBS was a joint effort between our church and the spanish church that rents part of our building.
The kids were split about half and half between hispanic and white.
After being with hispanic kids for 3 hours every day for a week, and spending much time afterwards playing with new friends, my kids have only managed to pick up the word "loco".
And they keep using it. Nonstop.
Everyone is loco. Everything is loco. It's all pretty loco around here!

And Just Like That..

The week has come to an end.
Tonight is the last night of VBS. Tomorrow is our "graduation" program. I don't really know why we are calling it that, it isn't like anyone is graduating. Oh well, for lack of a better word I guess.
I've decided VBS is like Christmas. You spend months and months planning it. You dream about it. You worry about it. And just like that, it's over. This week has been so fast.
It has been awesome. Seriously. I had my doubts. I didn't even really want to do VBS this year. But my wonderful husband insisted. And he knew best. I am so glad we pushed on and did it.
I just filled out 58 certificates for tomorrow. Our largest VBS by far. Of course, we did join forces with the Spanish church who rents part of our church. But still, we almost doubled in size from last year.
I'm already looking forward to next year. I know though, that the excitement will wear off and we'll get busy with something else, and then VBS will sneak up on us once again.
The best part of all is that we've had several kids this year who had never met Jesus. Now, because of VBS, they know who He is! Awesome, awesome, awesome.
And now, I'll leave you with the lyrics of what seems to be the favorite VBS song this year. Just based on how the kids scream for it every night!
It's simple, with a powerful message.

Get up, Get up.
Get up and tell the world.
Get up, Get up.
Some people haven't heard.
That Jesus paid the price,
So we could have eternal life.
Get up, Get up,
get up and tell the world.

Day one = SUCCESS!

Every year, VBS is stressful. This year has been so much less stressful than normal. I don't know if it is because we are just getting used to it, and better at directing, or if it is because we've delegated a bunch this year. Probably a bit of both.
I have been less than enthused about the theme this year. And therefore, haven't gotten into as much as last year. I'm chompin at the bit for next year! It will be a bayou theme and it looks so cool. This year though, it's PowerLab. The kids enjoyed last night, but I tell ya, it's just hard. Decorating has been the hardest. But, it all came together.
I'm directing the preschool this year, so I'm not able to see any of the other action going on. Matt says it's going well.
When I see pictures like this, I know it is all worth it. And yes, that is my son who does not have his eyes closed in prayer. Goofball!



I cannot tell you how I feel when I witness kids learning more about our Lord. When I hear them singing, "Holy, Holy,". When I see them praying. It is one of the most awesome feelings in the world. And THAT is why we do this every year.

12 years

I know on this day you would expect an entry about how Matt and I have been so happily married for 14 years. And it's true, we have. Wouldn't trade a minute of it, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with my one true love.
BUT...we got news yesterday that seems to be more important!! Maybe not more important, but so very, very great!
Yesterday, we did a Carelink on Zachy. If you don't feel like clicking on that link, I'll just tell you what that is! It is the monitor that pulls the information from Zachy's pacemaker out, through the phone line, and sends it to the Doctor. Genius invention, I tell ya! Dr Bush emailed me yesterday to say things looked great, and that after adjusting the energies at his last appointment, Zachy's battery should last 8.5 years! That means he'll be TWELVE years old when it's time to change it!
I cannot even begin to tell you how this makes me feel. I want to cry every time I think of it. Tears of joy. When they originally put it in, it was showing it would only last 3 years. This is such great, great news.
My kids are the toughest kids I know. They are my heroes. It breaks my heart to think of all they've been through. The other night, Zachy finished his aspirin (another HOORAY!) and he said, "oh good, now can I go get this thing out?" It about killed me. But normally, it doesn't bother him at all, and he is such a strong little trooper.
So yeah, 14 years of wonderful marriage, and excellent news about Zachy. Makes for some great days!!

I've come a long way

We had planned for 60 kids to come to VBS this year.
We currently have 50 kids registered, and the likelihood of 10 more. Which doesn't include anyone who might wait to register till the first night.
In years past I would be super stressed right now.
But this year, I've said, "OK God, this is your VBS, You make it work" And I believe He will.
It will all work out in the end.
And I'm not stressed about it.
OK, maybe a wee tiny bit, but not too bad.

These days...

These days I'd likely lose my head if it weren't attached.
My mind has been so consumed with VBS that it has little room left for anything else.
Last night, I remembered that the geneticist had said she was going to order some tests for the boys. She wrote it all down on a business card, with her email address on it.
You can see where this is going, can't you?
I completely forgot about the tests. I don't know what happened yesterday to job my memory, but it was jogged. No one has called to schedule the tests, and when I called to try and schedule a different appointment for Matthew, they didn't have the referral. The referral would have come from the same doctor who ordered the other tests. Boy, did that make any sense? Let me try again. The geneticist ordered tests for all the boys, and also referred Matthew to plastic surgery to get him hooked into the craniofacial clinic. When I called plastic surgery there was no referral. There, that's better.
So, the problem with all of this is, I can't find her card, so now I'll have to jump through some hoops to get connected with her again. It isn't as easy as picking up the phone and calling straight through...unless you have that CARD!! ARGH!!
It seems to be a trend these days. I can't remember the simplest things. But, I can remember how many kids are registered, what decorations we have and what we still need, and all the names of our helpers.
I guess my brain is only capable of holding so much information at a time!

Holland

This poem was originally written by a mother with a Down's child. But it works well for any special need. I have loved this since having Matthew, and over the years, I've gone travelling more around Holland, into many more unfamiliar areas. But, it's been good.
I had never seen the follow up, which I posted here. It is just as good as the original.
Thanks for posting these, Maria

Welcome To Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a
disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience
to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation
trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn
some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess
comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm
supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,
disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a
different
place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have
met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you
look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and
Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I
had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the
loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to
Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
...
about Holland

-------------THIS IS THE FOLLOW UP ON THAT POEM-------------------------------

Celebrating Holland - I'm Home

I have been in Holland for a while now. It has become home. I have had time
to catch my breath, to settle in and adjust, and to accept this different trip
than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years when I first landed in Holland and remember
clearly my shock, my fear, my anger. In those first few years, I tried to
get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can
say how far I have come on this unexpected journey, how much I have learned
about Holland. But it has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language, and I
slowly found my way around in Holland. I met others whose plans had changed like
mine and who could share my experience. Some of these fellow travellers had been
in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way.
Many have encouraged me and have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and
gifts to behold in this new land. We supported one another, some have become
very special friends, and I have discovered a community of caring. Holland
isn't so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travellers like me and has become a
land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, assist, and support newcomers.
Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed
in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as
rewarding? Would I have learned the important lessons I benefit from today?

Sure, this journey has been challenging and at times I would (and still do)
stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is
slower paced and less flashy that Italy, but this, too, has been an
unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down and look closer at things, with a new
appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland. I have discovered that it
doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of
your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special things that Holland has
to offer. I have come to love Holland and call it home.

Yes, I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this
destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

Busy days

Next week is VBS.
As usual, we still have loads to do. Although, I have to say, this year we don't have as much to do as last year. We have been much better at delegating this year.
In case you were wondering, we were able to order the crafts that we needed. They promised they'd be here in time. I certainly hope so.
Friday is our Anniversary. Fourteen sweet years. Because of VBS and how busy we are, I don't think we are even doing anything to celebrate, which is kind of sad. It's usually the one day a year we are able to go on a date. We did go to see Phantom though, so that counts.
In rather sad news, Matthew has been complaining about his eye hurting. This would indicate that his drop is no longer working. *sigh* I hope that isn't the case. I don't know what else it would be, but one can hope, right? If it persists, we'll have to make an appointment and get his pressure checked. Right now, he's only complained about it 3-4 times in the last 2 weeks. Is that too much? I don't know.
It seems like I had a lot more to tell you all. I sat down and started this entry several hours ago. I keep getting interrupted, and have totally lost my train of thought.
Ah well..such is life.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Unless they look like this!



Last night, we were driving through our neighborhood when Matt said, "A SNAKE!" I told him to turn around and run it over. I know, I know..they are God's creatures, but yes, we turned around to run it over.
After missing the first time, Matt pulled up right beside it and realized it was a rattler. Oh my goodness. It was quite mad! Thankfully, it was a pretty small one, and the kids all got to see it out their window before we ran it over for good.

I'm sorry, but rattlesnakes have no business being in my neighborhood.

But alas, there are so many rattlesnakes here in Texas. I've seen more in the three years that we've lived here than I've seen in all my life. In fact, I'd never actually seen a live rattlesnake before moving here. Just lots of garder snakes.

Folks, I am terrified..Terr.I.Fied. of snakes.

We have all sorts of these..


running around our house. No problem. I'd be fine if I came across an armadillo. Or a possum. Anything really, just not a snake.

ICK ICK ICK!!!!

It doesn't help at all to know that there are like 15 different types of venemous snakes here. Nope, doesn't help a bit.

And I have to tell you, remember the post that showed you my clothesline? I love to hang my clothes, but I am always secretly afraid to bring in the clothes. I usually bring the last load of clothes in after it's dark, and I just know there will be a snake waiting for me out there!

Last night, I suppose because I felt bad for killing the thing, I dreamt about rattlesnakes all night. I dreamt that we were in Dallas, and everytime we went outside a rattler was waiting to get us. Thankfully, it wasn't like the Indiana Jones snake pit, there was just one snake..always waiting for us. It actually got my kids once or twice, but they survived. Eventually, we were able to escape Dallas and get back home.

Maybe I should stop eating bon bons before bed...

This is turning into a nightmare!

OK, not really a nightmare, just a really huge pain in the rear!
We ordered all of our VBS materials, only to not receive two of the crafts.
When we inquired about it, we were told they were all sold out. Great.
We were told of two other places which offered similar crafts, but yep, also sold out.
So, I have to figure out what we're going to do. The crafts are pretty specific to the days lesson, so it'd be nice to stay with that idea.
It is also easy to over order from the VBS place because they sell them in sets of 10. Anything unopened can be returned. The other crafts I'm finding seem to sell in sets of 24. We'd never be able to return anything, and likely be stuck with too many crafts. Then there is the issue of money. We've already gone over our budget. Our treasurer is going to love us when we start bringing separate receipts in. Originally, the church was charged directly, but these other things we will have to get.
I'm not even mentioning the decorations that we have to buy.
Yep, he's going to be very pleased with us. Note the sarcasm!
Oh well, it will all end up good in the end, I just have to figure out these dumb crafts.
If by chance, you are doing the Power Lab VBS and have run into the same trouble, could you let me know what you're doing about it?? Thanks!

A tale of two girls

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, were two little girls.
The girls met in elementary school and were instantly best friends.
All growing up they were together.
On several occasions, they went to the first girl's cabin at the creek.
It was on one of these trips that the girls came up with names for each other.
Apricot and Bacon. Apricot had a sister, who the girls named MelonHead, and a brother they called Jamocha (is there even such a word?? They thought so!).
Apricot and Bacon grew up together and shared a love of all things, including New Kids on the Block. Apricot loved Joey, and Bacon was a Donnie fan.
Eventually, the girls hit high school. There, they got into trouble together. Apricot's parents even forbid Apricot from ever setting foot in Bacon's truck, because surely that's where they chased the boys!
As juniors in high school, Apricot's family let her go on a cruise with Bacon's family, and they had a great, GREAT time. Some wonderful memories were made that week.
By their senior year, Bacon was dating her future husband.
Apricot was, naturally, in the wedding.
Bacon and her new husband moved away, and Apricot went to college.
They drifted. Bacon had kids, Apricot did not. Eventually, Apricot got married, and Bacon secretly hoped this would bring them back together. But to no avail. Too much time had passed and they had gone completely separate ways.
Still, there was the occasional email and phone call, it just wasn't the same.
After many years, Apricot emailed Bacon and declared she was going to be a mom.
Apricot and her husband decided to adopt from Ethiopia. Bacon was very happy. For selfish reasons too..maybe NOW they'd have more in common again. Time would tell.
In July, Apricot and her husband will travel to Ethiopia to pick up their new son.
Bacon couldn't be happier for them.
It's true Apricot. I love you and am so incredibly happy for you and J. No matter what, you will always be my Apricot, time and differences will never change that. We may drift, but I have confidence that little M will have a way of pulling us back together.
Congratulations dear friend, I can't wait to "meet" your son.

All's right in the world

Matt is home. Where he belongs.
Safe and Sound.
Yes, things in our world are back to good!

I had such high hopes

It is two o'clock.
My beloved will be home at 11 o'clock tonight.
My house looks like it threw up.
Emmie is in a foul mood today and it is making it impossible to get anything done today.
Thank goodness he loves me for more than my housekeeping abilities!

Yesterday

Yesterday was an interesting day.
Collin and Zachy had been upstairs playing when Collin came downstairs and sat on the couch. He was kind of staring into space, and then said his tummy hurt and he needed the pot in case he had to throw up.
I asked if he was OK.
He then went on to tell me that he and Zachy were standing up playing with cars at their dresser, when he felt like nails were going into the back of his head, and then he fell over.
When I started questioning him about it, he said it was like he went to sleep and woke up on the floor. Zachy told me that Collin fell over, and he asked him if he was still going to play with him. But he didn't answer, because his eyes were closed. Then he asked again and he opened his eyes and said yes.
To me, it sounds like he passed out.
I called to try and get him in to the pediatrician, but they said to take him to the ER. By this time he was acting fine, but we went anyway.
The resident there told me that he knew kids (he had number 3 on the way) and it sounds like Collin made it up. That his kids would make something like that up. And that 6 year olds don't normally pass out, and since he was OK at the hospital, he doesn't think he passed out.
Do I think Collin made it up? No. He was so dazed when he came downstairs, and told me he went to sleep and fell over backwards.
He is totally fine now though.
We are supposed to go to the pediatrician tomorrow, but now I'm hesitant. I don't want to waste my time and have the doc tell me he made it up.
What to do, what to do.

New songs, and what I've always wanted to be

I've changed my songs! Did ya notice?
On July 4, Matt and I will have been married 14 short years! I say short because they have absolutely flown by, and it seems unfathomable that it's alreay been 14 years.
At any rate, I put on some songs that through the years we have claimed as "ours". I had to throw in my wedding processional, just because.
It certainly isn't a complete list of songs that are "ours", but it's good enough.
I'm loving the new Josh Gracin song, We Weren't Crazy. It suits us perfectly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What have I always wanted to be?
A great blogger. I don't think I am.
I read some amazing blogs, and they are so entertaining.
Mine..not so much.
I think it's something I need to work on. I'm just really lazy. I want to get to the facts, with not a lot of story telling.
I think the fact that I get so few hits, is pretty telling. In the past, I've gotten more, but my address has changed quite a bit, so that could have something to do with it.
That, or I'm just not entertaining.
I don't quite know how to be entertaining. I know it's in the story telling, which I fail at, quite a bit.
I don't ever feel like our life is all that entertaining, so that could be the problem. Maybe I need to stop looking for a story, and just make every day into a story. Did that make sense?
Hmm, I'll have to try...sometime.

I cannot believe

That in two short months I will have a 12 year old. I was just holding him all slimey and new. He was soo little. His bottom used to fit perfectly in the cup of my hand.
My first glimpse of perfection. *sigh*
I just keep thinking that these last 12 years have FLOWN and I may only have 8 more before he leaves the nest. How this breaks my heart into a million pieces. I have NEVER been a mom to wish my kids away. I remember back in 2000, meeting a new friend online. When she found out that Matthew was 4 and Dillon was 2, and we were trying to get pg with Collin, she said,"I bet you can't wait till they are in school" so that I could have some peace. But I've NEVER wished my kids were in school. I cannot imagine not being with them all day long, and I Realize how blessed I am to be able to stay home with them. Many many people don't get that.
Now, people tell me that when they are teenagers I'll be ready for them to leave...I just don't see it.

Pictures

On Tuesday, we went on a really cool field trip. We went to a local river and some aquatic biologists taught the kids all about how they catch and study fish, crawdads, and insects. The kids got to get into the river and catch things and then look at them under the microscope.
Everyone was having so much fun. The little kids got to scoop things out with fish nets while the bigger kids used the more sophisticated nets.
Poor Zachy though, he was in the water, and a crawdad thought his toe looked yummy and clamped right down on it. Poor baby. Everyone was having a gay time and Zachy was screaming cause it hurt so bad. It broke his toenail. He wouldn't set foot in the river after that. He was wearing sandals, but his little toe was just sticking out there.
You will notice there are very few pictures of Matthew. That is because he was in the older kid group and they got in the water and went on the other side of an island. The island had grass that was a million feet tall and you couldn't see the other side. Therefore, no pictures of him. He had an absolute blast though. It's nice to see him come out of his shell.
I also have to add that the biologists were so glad to do this field trip. You see, normally they do public school kids, who can't get in the water. They were excited to be able to take the kids in the water and let them do this themselves.




Zachy is always collecting things. Including berries from this tree.


Dillon got to hold one of the big nets!



Zachy and Collin learning about life in the water.



A fish that Dillon caught. They were told that this was not a native fish, and did not belong in this river, so it was ok if died while they passed it around!!



Emmie wanted in on the fun. She later tried to drink this water!

Peculiar

Zachy has a white round circle on his cheek.
Every year it is there when he gets tanned. It just doesn't tan. In the winter months, you don't notice it because his tan goes away.
It is in the same spot that the adhesive was put to hold in his O2 tube and later feeding tube when he was in the hospital as a newborn.
My theory is that it scarred in a way. But it doesn't look like a scar. It just doesn't tan. It's quite strange indeed.
Here is a picture. I changed the color so it was more obvious, he isn't really that color! It's just that in regular pictures it's a bit hard to see.


Here's the original, thought I'd include it so you can see how good his scar is looking.

Dumpy

I'm kind of feeling down in the dumps this afternoon.
I don't know why.
I miss Matt.
It's hot and the kids are bored. I can't take them to the pool. Last time we tried that the lifegaurd came flying off her perch into the water after Zachy. He was fine, but when she glanced at him she thought he was struggling. My friend and I were yelling, "what's wrong? Who's drowning" Had no idea she was headed for Zachy who was perfectly fine. Scared him to death though, cause she hauled him out of the pool asking him over and over if he was ok. I actually had to file an incident report about it, and the teen lifeguards kept saying, "wow, it's such a good thing we had that training this morning" I think they were on overdrive.
At any rate, it's not something I want a repeat of, so we'll stay home until Matt gets home.
Maybe we should go get a slip and slide or some such thing. It's just hot.
I wish Matt would hurry up and be home. :-(

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I am so very tired. I could collapse right here, right now.
But there are still five kids awake.
We had a meeting at church that ended up lasting for 3 hours. oy.
Everyone's hungry, so having a snack at almost 10 o'clock.
To quote Matthew, "we've been up a lot the last couple of days, I'm TIRED"
Yes indeed, we have been. And I think we are all just poopity pooped.

Safe and sound

Matt just called me and he has arrived. Safe and sound.
He sounded so tired and frustrated. It was a long, long day of traveling for him. Most of it quite uncomfortable travel.
But he's there. And he's safe. And really, that's all that matters.
I already miss him so much. I'm such a loser. :-(

Doing the single mom thing

This morning we were up at 3 AM to drive Matt to the airport.
As I type this, he is on his way to Honduras. Far, far away from here.
He got to Miami to be told their flight to Honduras had been cancelled. When I talked to him, he was talking about the possibility of having to spend the night in Miami. The next time I talked to him, he was telling me they were getting ready to board the plane to Honduras. Only to a different town. Where they would then be bussed to the original destination.
We have already discussed another bus trip he will make while there (to the ruins) and how funny it would be if there were chickens and whatnot on the bus. So, I should hear by tonight how the bus system is in Honduras.
I told him I was going to lose five pounds while he was gone. He said he would too. I asked him if he meant from sweating so much, and he told me no. He said he would be too afraid to eat anything there! He's been told of their taste for guinea pig there. Since we've owned several piggies in the past, this turns our stomachs. Not that he'd want to eat a piggie anyway. So, he's nervous about what will be served in this foreign land.
He'll do great though.
When I met him, he had been on an airplane once, I think. And hadn't really traveled that much.
Since joining the military, he's become quite the world traveler! Too bad he doesn't bring us with him!
And so, for the next two weeks, I'm doing the single mom gig. At least it isn't like last time when he was gone for 8 weeks. We'll survive, somehow. Little Miss Em has been quite the handful the last couple of weeks. I'd like to think it's her teeth, but who really knows. I can feel the outline of one of her bottom molars, but I've felt it for weeks. The stupid thing will not come through. It may be getting close, because the last 3 days have been especially pleasant. Note the sarcasm! She has screamed so much that her little face gets red and splotchy. Something that hasn't happened for quite some time. And she pushes everything away from her. Her appetite has been low as well.
Oh the joys of being a baby! Poor thing.
I still have those great posts in my head, and sometime I'll get them out.
For now though, I'll leave you with a Collinism.
We've been going to the pool for several days since last week. The second day we were there, Collin kept asking me why it was deeper than last time. I was stumped. Nothing I said seemed to satisfy him.
Suddenly, he yelled, 'mommy!!! I know why it's deeper!!"
"you do?? Why??"
"Because I'm not standing on my tippie toes today!!"
Yep, that will do it!

I just need some time

I have some good blog posts rolling around in this old head of mine. I just do not have the time to sit down and get them out.
It's been a very difficult time with Emily lately. She's cutting molars. I think they are almost through. I certainly hope so.
Until they are through and I have some time, the posts will have to remain in my head. Sorry!

Gettin fit

Yesterday, Matt surprised me with a Wii Fit. Good heavens is that thing keeping us entertained!
Matthew has already put 60 minutes into his Fit Bank today. Which is a silly little piggy bank that tells you how many minutes you've exercised.
Dillon is currently using it, even though he has a fever and a headache. He's had some meds, so he thinks he is well enough to do basic step aerobics. Crazy kid.
Matt did tons last night, and later I worked up a good sweat in 30 minutes.
My problem is that Emily has a sensor that senses when I'm doing something. For instance, she can be totally fine and happy playing, and then when I sit down at the computer she comes crying to me to hold her. It's the same with anything Wii related. She's fine, I pick up a remote and she's crying. So this could prove to be a challenge. Last night I had to wait until she was asleep, but then I'm too awake to be able to sleep.
I currently have a goal to lose 22 pounds in 3 months. That's the most and longest it would let me do. I have so much more to lose, but that's as far as it would go. I'm not off to a good start since today it told me my weight was up from last night. Phooey on it!
Ok I'm off to go hula hoop while Emmie is happy.

SCORE!

Today is the annual half off sale at the thrift store chain here.
I was there before opening and there was already a crowd!! INSANE!
Anyway, I got 11 pairs of jeans for the boys, 4 pairs of denim shorts (one pair for each boy), 2 pairs of jammie pants for Collin, 4 church dresses for Emmie, 4 dress shirts for the boys, a hat for Zachy, a book for Dillon, and 5 other shirts for the boys. All in great condition and all for $53!!!! WOOOHOO!!! When I was checking out, there were two men arguing over who got my cart!! CRAZY!!!
I think thrift shopping is not only economical but also great for the environment!

Be still my beating heart

We took the kiddies to the shoe store this evening. Dillon is forever telling me he needs new tennis shoes.
They asked if we needed anyone measured, and we thought, 'what the heck, we'll measure everyone'
She pulls out the kid foot measuring contraption and starts measuring. When Matthew put his clod hopper on the cold metal, she said, "oh, you need the adult measurer". I had been walking away when I heard, "adult". I whipped back around and said, "what did you just say?!"
She then grinned at me and said, "yep, men's size seven"
I asked if she was sure, and she said she was.
I nearly fainted.
It seems like yesterday that they told me he was no longer in toddler sizes, how in the world can he be in adult sizes??
And then, to top things off. I tried on a men's size seven imitation croc and to my dismay, it fit! It was a bit snug, but it fit.
A couple of days ago, I was marveling at how little Em's hands still are. I called Matthew into the room to measure his hands. I told him that his hands were just the size of Em's. Soon, they'll be enveloping my hands.
He says he can't wait for his growth spurt. I can. Babies grow up way too fast.

Today

I just got home from having a pedicure. Oh sweet relaxation.
I told Matt that he needs to encourage me to do this more often, because I always talk myself out of spending money on myself. But how refreshing it was.
Now we are getting ready to leave. Matt is taking our eldest kids and three kids from church to see Prince Caspian. I'm taking my three little ones to the mall to get some more webkinz and to play and to get ice cream.
Should be fun for everyone!

Horrible thought

Last night, as I was tickling Zachy I was hit with this thought.
He has a machine. A machine that tells his heart to beat.
And I suddenly got sick, as I thought, "what if something happens to him?"
It's probably not likely that anything tragic will happen to him regarding his heart, but still.
A machine tells his heart to beat.
I couldn't bear to lose him.

Oh that Happy post again

I have numerous pictures on my camera. But I am at the mercy of Matt to get those on my computer. He wonders why I even have to do a happy post. I tell him I don't have to, but that I want to so I can be reminded of the positive.
Right now, I can tell you that yesterday Matthew had a really great appointment with a new nuerologist. We will be redoing his MRI in 6 months to a year because there is a questionable spot somewhere on the right side of his brain. I so cannot remember where or what exactly the doctor said. I used to obsess about new findings, it must be saying something that I can totally forget what was said! This doctor actually seems to care, which is such a breath of fresh air. He is concerned about the mass filling Matthew's nose. Says the ENTs must look at it and discuss it. We saw ENT two weeks ago, and he said nothing about it. We see a different ENT in June. He will be setting us up with the craniofacial clinic here on base. Finally. After three years here, we are getting somewhere.
This all makes me happy, so we can just consider this my happy post!

Dairy Allergy?

I think Emmie might have a dairy allergy.
At first I was leaning more towards chocolate, because she always spits up after she has chocolate. But last night, she had ice cream, and that came up too. I wonder if it is the milk in milk chocolate.
Interestingly, cheese doesn't do this to her. But it could be because she doesn't ever consume enough cheese. She drinks soy milk, so I don't know about regular milk. I'm going to buy some soy ice cream tonight and see if anything happens. Maybe it's sugar!

My little koala

Collin is our little koala bear.
If you happen to be laying on your side, he will surely lay on top of you, wrapping his arms and legs around you. He loves this.
I told him last night that if there is ever a webkinz* koala bear, I'm buying it for him. He told me that it might cost too much money. I told him I didn't care, my koala Collin needs a koala of his own.
I know that he is going to outgrow this very soon, so I cherish every koala hug from him.

* I know there are many other types of koalas I could get him, but for now, the webkinz are huge in this house, so that's what I said.

I may need a vacation

Seriously folks, I am beat. Totally and completely wiped out.
I don't know why.
I don't have it in me to do much of anything. I am totally and completely dreading VBS this year, and if it were up to just me, I wouldn't do it. But alas, Matt is in on it too, so we will do it. And I know we'll be glad we did, but right now, I don't wanna!
In the last three years, I have spent one night in Houston, and a couple of very stressful nights up in the Dallas area. That weekend near Dallas was not relaxing one bit.
I'm thinking that maybe if we just got away for a weekend, I could just rest. But, that isn't going to happen.
We have commitments the next two weekends and the next weekend Matt leaves for Honduras. Writing that almost sends me to tears. I am so, so tired. He can't leave me for two weeks to deal with VBS on my own. As soon as he comes home it is time to have VBS.
We are going to Missouri at the beginning of August, but I'm not sure I will survive that long.
In case you aren't up to speed with our plans, we were going to take a month off and go up north. But alas, Matt couldn't get longer than a week off of work. My bil and sil are moving to Missouri. We are going up to help unload their truck and to see family. My mil and fil are helping them move, and Matt's grandma and Aunt are coming down too. So we will spend our vacation seeing his family. I'm glad that we will at least get to see half our family.
But, will I last that long?

A New Era

My kids are really into webkinz lately. They love them so much. And so do all the other kids at church.
They spend lots of time chatting online and playing games with each other.
In addition, my phone rings all the time. And it's no longer for me. It's always for the boys.
How did this happen? How are my kids suddenly this old?
Where has the time gone?

Happy mother's day

To all the mom's out, and especially the ones in my life, happy mother's day.

I know I missed my happy post yesterday, but I am determined to do it. We reformatted our computer some time ago, and now I don't know how to upload my pictures, so I always have to wait on Matt.

We are going to Sea World today to celebrate me..hehe...actually, to celebrate my kids who made me a mom. Without them, I'd just be plain old Bekki. Because of them I get to be "the best mom ever".

Why'd I have to ask??

Do you ever say something, or ask a question, and immediately wish you hadn't done it?
I did. Today. Only it wasn't immediate. It was after the answer was given that I realized I really didn't want to know. Too late. Now I have to deal with my feelings about it.
Zachy had an appointment with his electrophysiologist today. The good great news is that he was able to lower the energies of his pacemaker significantly. The machine says that with these settings his battery should last eight years. Which is a huge improvement over 3-6 years. The doctor said he was sure it'd last until he was ten, probably longer. Praise the Lord. Turns out, his leads were placed in a prime position that requires less energy to be used to let the heart know to beat. If you ask me, God was in control of that. You see, the doctor struggled with getting the leads placed. His right atrium was full of scar tissue from his previous surgery. So to have them placed right where they should be..none other than God.
And then, I asked him. I asked him what Zachy's life expectancy was. Because no one has ever told us. Because really, kids with TAPVR are just now starting to live into adulthood, so it's really an unknown. But based on his repair, and now the pacemaker the doctor said he should live into his 50's or 60's. And this is really going on having a pacemaker, not really taking into account the TAPVR.

This isn't long enough.

I know nothing is certain. I know that. And I also know how blessed we are to be able to raise him into adulthood, when so many other parents don't get that. But still. I'm sad.
I just need to process this. Then I can move on, and focus on the good.
The doctor told us that he fully expects there to be better technology in Zachy's life that could greatly extend his life. And I believe that. I just need to get through this right now. The possibility.
And I'm not sad for us. I'm sad for his wife, his children, his grandchildren. How much they will miss out on a wonderful person.
I know it's not the end. I have faith in a wonderful God who doesn't want His children to hurt. Someday, all of this will be of no matter. And that's what truly matters.
Like I said, I just need to process all of this so I can move on.

Zachism

Walking into the mall today, Zachy said to us, "when we get another sister, she will be mine"
Ummmm..ok?

Wow

Oh man, I would LOVE one of these.
Win a Free Ergo Baby Carrier from Along for the Ride

Outta the mouths of babes

Zachy: When are we going to Heaven?

Me: When Jesus comes back to get us.

Zachy: But that will take forever

Me: It may take awhile, but He promised He will be back to get us.

Collin: Yeah Zachy, He has to wait because he is busy making lots of animals for us!

Zachy: How will He get here??

Collin: On a cloud

Zachy: Ohhhh on a ladder cloud!!

Happy Thoughts

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. She makes me very happy! I couldn't ask for a better mom or grandma for my kids. Would you believe that she's only 19??



I'm looking to get more diapers, and I'm looking into these. I have a wonderful on line friend who is sending me one of hers to try out. I'm very happy to have such wonderful friends!



This pacemaker that has given life back to Zachy makes me happy indeed. No regrets at all about getting it. The spark of life is back!



Being able to spend time together as a family..on a regular basis. It hasn't always been like this, and I don't take a minute for granted.




I've lost 5 pounds...FINALLY