Still Here

I have neglected my blog so badly.
I've had such computer issues..and just yesterday sent my laptop back to the company to be fixed for the second time in 2 months. What a pain. And I'm lazy, on top of that. It's so much easier to get here when it's all in my favorites.
Anyway, I am still here. Still pregnant.
I am now 38 weeks. I haven't gone past 38 weeks since I had Dillon, 11 years ago. It's weird. My doctor would really like me to go into labor on my own. But if I don't, there is an induction date set. I'm not going to say it here, because it will be a surprise to some people who would like a surprise!
We had a great Christmas. My mom and step dad are here and it was a nice, quiet, family Christmas. Although, we are praying that next year, in Ohio, we'll get a white Christmas. It is really hard for it to feel like Christmas when it's warm outside!
The kids are done with school for now, until after the baby is born, so we've all just been hanging out playing with the new Christmas toys.
Oh, I wanted this to be longer, but Emily is wanting some attention, and I'm trying to give her lots in these last few days.
I'll update when Natalie is here!

It is highly possible that I am the worst mother alive

I am sitting in bed, listening to Emily scream her head off.
She is with Matt, but is throwing a huge, ginormous fit.
I honestly don't know what to do.
You see, she still nurses. Yes, yes, I do know she will be 3 in March. And yes, I know there is going to be a new baby in a matter of weeks. I know all of this.
To wean or not to wean has been the ongoing question here.
On the one hand it would be really great for her to be weaned before the baby is born.
On the other hand, I do not want her to feel rejected by me. And I really don't want her to hate Natalie.
It is such a hard, hard decision. She really enjoys nursing. And I really do not at this point.
So tonight, I let her nurse to sleep, which is about the only time she nurses. But she woke up after about an hour. And not just a little. She must have dreamt something bad because she woke up nearly screaming. So, I scooped her up, and naturally, she wanted to nurse. Normally, she will latch on and nurse for just a few minutes and I can tell her that's enough and she's fine with that. Not tonight though. She just wanted to nurse and nurse. And I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. I'm reading a book about tandem nursing, and it turns out this is a totally normal feeling when you are nursing while pregnant.
I told her that was enough, and she lost it. And she's been screaming ever since. And it's breaking my heart. I'm not sure what we are trying to accomplish here. All I know is I don't want to nurse her right now.
How selfish. She needs comfort and all I care about is my own comfort.
See. I told you..worst mother alive.
This all sucks. Really, really bad. My mother would tell me that she has told me all along to wean her, we have just really struggled with if that was the best thing for her. It's funny, because my mom likes to spout off about me weaning her, she has no idea what we have been going through regarding the whole weaning issue. It isn't one we are taking lightly, it has been a source of major stress for us for some time. It's hard to know what the right decisions are when it comes to our babies!
I need a fairy godmother to come wave a wand and make this all better. *sigh*

Where is my music?

Do you hear my wonderful Christmas music???
I don't even see the box. It's in the html but it isn't showing up to me. Where did it go???

My head hurts

Matt has been in New Jersey for the week. He is coming home tonight. He can't get here quick enough.
It has just been a very trying week. Several things have gone wrong. The kids have been trying my patience. And well, I'm just tired.
My head is killing me this afternoon and I'm trying to decide what to do for dinner. I'm thinking maybe fast food, because I just don't have it in me to do much else. Maybe Taco Bell, we never eat there. Or Arby's.
Matt bought me a gift certificate last Christmas to be used for a massage. I found a place where I can get two 45 minute massages for the price of the gc he got me. I was wanting to do one next week on veteran's day because Matt has the day off, but we'll see. For some reason, I'm a bit nervous to make the appointment. Mainly because I know nothing about the place (though it got good reviews) and because I've never had a massage. I keep thinking that the people will take one look at me and think, "oh heaven's NO..I am NOT putting my hands on HER!!"
Anyway, Matt comes home tonight, but I won't see him much this weekend. He is doing and evangelistic series at church. I'm really proud of him for this, but meetings that normally are spread out over several weeks, have been condensed into two weekends worth of all day long meetings.
Next week the kids' play start. They have practice every night then the play starts Thursday. Usually, one of us takes the boys and the other stays home with Emily. If we do that, it means more time to not see him.
OK this was a really whiny post, I'm sorry. I'm just spent right now and felt the need to share that with all of you!

Birth Announcements or No??

Originally, I had planned on not doing Christmas cards, and just sending out birth announcements with the required picture and letter.
And I've been thinking lots about announcements and what I want them to say.
But then, I got to thinking...should I even do announcements?
I have always done them, but wonder if people get them and think, "oh, Matt and Bekki had another baby, big surprise". I also wonder if people think we send announcements to get gifts. This has been an issue for me for several babies. I do not want people to think they need to send anything, we send announcements to share our excitement with them, nothing else.
Then there is the issue of making them. I have made all the other announcements, but am not sure I want to do that this time. But since I've done it five other times, would it make sense to change now? Assuming I even do them!
AAAGGGHHHHH, who knew birth announcements could create such a dilemma for me??
I realize this entry makes very little sense, and is quite grammatically incorrect, I'm just trying to figure out what to do.

Update of sorts

I know it's been forever since I wrote anything significant. I just get in these modes where I just don't have it in me. Besides, it is so much easier to just throw a status update up on Facebook than it is to post here.
The first big update is on Zachy. Last I wrote the nurse had called concerned about some fast rhythms he was having. When we saw the Doctor he wasn't concerned at all. He said it registered as too high on the equipment because pacemakers aren't made for children. So what is a normal active rhythm for a child is too high for an adult. So all is well with Zachy. Thank goodness!
Matthew has been saving his money for a very long time, and yesterday was finally able to buy himself an iPod. He got the nano which has a camcorder on it as well. He has been taking videos all morning. He would probably be just fine with it even if it never played music. He loves making videos.
Their play is in two weeks. I will be glad when it's done. We love it, but by the end it is always nice to be able to stop making the drive twice a week. It's hard because the practices are 1 1/2 hours on Thursday and 2 hours on Sunday. Well, it is far enough away that by the time you turn around to go home it would be time to turn right back around to pick them up, but too long to just sit there. Although this year, I've been helping make the costumes and Matt's been staying home with Emily.
As far as the pregnancy, this has to be the easiest pregnancy I've ever had. In the beginning I was really sick, but since that has passed I have felt great. I'm 29 weeks and time is still flying. Natalie will be here before we know it.
Other than that, we've just been busy doing yearly eye exams, doctors visits for me, and dentist appointments. Oh yes, school too. Which is going great.
I wish this entry had been more entertaining, but alas, that's what happens when you wait so long in between entries! Sorry.

My apologies

I know it is far to early for Christmas for some of you, but I just cannot resist being in the Christmas spirit.
It is my favorite time of year and it is just too short, if you ask me!
This year is especially special because Miss Natalie will be joining our family right around Christmas, can you imagine anything more wonderful?? I can't.
Speaking of Natalie, what am I going to do about this blog? I won't have 5 little monkeys anymore, but 6. Is that an appropriate name? Six Little Monkeys? I don't know. If anyone has any great ideas for a new title, I'd love to hear them.
For now, sit back, relax, sip some hot cocoa and enjoy the Christmas spirit!

Where did you say you are from??

Today in southern Texas it is pretty brisk. The temp is in the 60s and it has been raining off and on all day.
Half of us are in pants, the other half are in shorts.
We had to run to Wally World to get some batteries earlier. While there, we saw several people in winter coats.
Matthew and I started commenting about the fact that to us this is great weather and to people around here, it's cold.
We then laughed about the fact that Emily kept saying she was cold, and she is the only one amongst us who is a Texan.
So Matthew says we are Ohioans...then said, "well, Collin anyway".
I said it was because we were northerners.
While we were talking about this Collin said, "I'm a what?" And we told him an Ohioan. We had to explain that meant he was born in Ohio.
Dillon says, "Am I an organic, since I was born in Oregon?"
Oh my, it was priceless.

Double Digits!!

Check out my ticker!! Less than 100 days to go! Time's a flyin!!

This Really Chaps my Hide

On our way home from play practice, there are two billboards.
They have a picture of a young lady with the words, "you have the power to have a healthy baby".
It's an ad for a health clinic, I think.
What does this imply?
UGH! It implies that if you only get proper prenatal care, you will have a healthy baby. And you have the power to make that happen.
Well darn. I wish someone had told me I had the power to have a healthy baby. If only I'd known that I possess that power!
For the record, I have always gotten the proper prenatal care.
I don't go to the doctor on a normal basis, but when I'm pregnant I never miss an appointment.
I just hate that they are trying to tell people that they can have a healthy baby.

Sometimes, it just isn't up to us.

Post Script and other Happenings

As a post script to yesterday's post..my sympathies go out to all young men of this generation.
Have you any idea how hard it is to teach these young men to keep their eyes and thoughts pure, when they are bombarded with just the opposite all around them?
Matt commented on the fact that they had just finished the respect CD, and talked about keeping thoughts pure. One way to do that, is to not fill your mind with images of scantily clad girls. They went ice skating after that, and what do you think all the girls were wearing? Next to nothing, of course.
Our kids are met with it everywhere. For us, even in the church. Girls wear clothes that leave nothing to the imagination, to church. What kind of message does that send the boys?
God gave them these hormones. We instruct them to keep them in check, and then WHAM! they can't get away from it.
It has to be so hard on them.

ANYWAY..onto other things.
Dillon's birthday is coming up. It is on Columbus Day this year, and we are going to try to go to Sea World for it. Once a year, military members and their dependents get free admission. We haven't used ours for this year, so we are going to go on his body. Hopefully, the weather cooperates. By this I mean either it isn't scorching hot or pouring rain. Anything in between will be just fine.

Our pastor's wife is teaching the kids guitar lessons every Sabbath after pot luck. It is really great. They are learning lots and I hope by the time we leave they have a great understanding of how to play the guitar. The only problem is, it doesn't address the ability to read music. Yes, they are learning cords, but not regular music. But then, do you really need to know how to read music to get by in life? I'm not so sure.

I posted after our first week of school that Zachy was trucking along with everything. That has definitely stopped. Collin has taken the lead now and does his work without complaint and...are you ready for this?? I see signs of the switch almost being switched and him being able to read! WAHOO!!!!!

Emily is as cute as ever. She is such a character and cracks us up all the time. She does everything the boys do, but the last couple of days she has wanted to wear dresses, so maybe there is hope that she won't be a total tom boy!!

Matt says he feels like a divorced dad getting visitation with his kids this week. He also says he is ready to have a night alone with me. HA! That hasn't happened in over 13 years, I don't see it happening anytime soon! Oh well, I'll just be glad to have him home tonight, I've missed him. He leaves next week to teach a hearing conservation course. He'll be gone all week. Then home the next week. Then off again the following week. He's a busy beaver!

As for me, I'm 25 weeks pregnant today. Baby is moving around so much sometimes it makes me nauseous. I do love it though! She is currently breech, though I'm not concerned at this point. I think if she would turn, I would be more comfortable. Right now, I feel like she is going to kick right through my cervix. Other than that, though, I am still feeling really good. I still look fat. No one has asked me if I'm pregnant, so that's a sure sign. I don't think anyone at the kids' play have any idea I am indeed pregnant and not just fat. Oh well, in due time I guess.

So that's about it. That's all she wrote.

I don't normally do this

Today I want to highly recommend a product. I am in no way being paid to do this, I am just impressed.
Awhile ago, it became clear that our boys were growing up, and it was time to have some serious talks about *gasp* the birds and the bees.
The problem was, Matt didn't really know how to go about doing this. He remembers the talk his dad had with him and just remembers both of them being very embarassed. This isn't what we wanted, but we weren't real sure how to avoid it.
Enter Passport 2 Purity.
This program is great!
Basically, you go on a getaway with your child. About 24 hours worth.
You start by taking them to dinner and telling them what the weekend (or night) is going to be about. You give them their adventure journal that they will use to fill in answers to tough questions. Then on your way to your destination, you listen to the first of five cds. You cannot imagine the relief Matt felt knowing that someone else would be presenting this information in a Biblical manner.
The first topic is about peer pressure. They listen to the disc and fill in the blanks, then discuss things with their parent. They get to listen to their parents talk about mistakes they made! What fun!
The topics covered are peer pressure, your changing body, sex, dating, and staying pure.
After each topic they do an experiment to drive the point home. For example, the first experiment is trying to put together a puzzle with no picture to go by. The point behind this is to show how we need instructions in life. And those are in the Bible.
After the heavy topics on the second day, you do something fun with your child.
Then after the last topic, you wrap up with a nice dinner where you present them with a gift to congratulate them for taking these steps towards maturity.
So Matt took Matthew to a local hotel on Monday night. For their fun time, they went ice skating and to a movie. For his gift, he got an electric razor. He's grown a caterpillar on his lip!
Then last night, Zachy and Collin spent the night with Matt just to spend some time with him. They went to Chuck E Cheese and then also to a movie.
Tonight is Dillon's night to complete the program.
Matthew came home and had had a great time. I was worried about how he would respond to all of this, but he really enjoyed it.
I asked Matthew if he thought Dillon was too young and he said that no he wasn't, and he wished we had done this when he was 11.
I am just really, really pleased with how this has turned out.
If you have preteens, I highly recommend this program to you.

Now That's What I'm Talkin About!

Today it is rainy and a cool 68 degrees outside.
It feels almost like fall.
Of course, the rain we've gotten the last couple weeks has greened up all the trees and lawns. So no changing of leaves, but still!
It is so wonderful. Even though yesterday it was in the upper 90s. I am willing to forget about yesterday and move on with fall.
Matt planted mums in my pots the other day and even bought me a pumpkin to help me feel like it is fall. What a wonderful man I have!
We have candles lit and Christmas music playing, and it is just a good day.

Not a call I really wanted

So I got a call bright and early this morning. It was the nurse from the electrophysiologist's office.
By the way, I've never gotten a call from her before, which of course makes my heart drop.
She told me that Zachy's last phone transmission showed his leads all look great, but he is having several episodes of high rates. She said it's nothing life threatening..yet..and that he needs to be seen.
We already had an appointment set up for October 14, and we are just keeping that appointment.
I am praying it is an easy fix. However, one of the reasons we paced him when we did, was to avoid getting to the point of tachy rhythms. Tachy is much harder to correct than brady. The hope was that by getting the brady under control, it would be like a normal heart and he wouldn't ever get to the tachy point.
I don't know how they are going to correct it. Before they paced him the doc talked about having to control tachy rhythms with meds. I keep hoping maybe the can just set a high threshold. But that doesn't make sense to me. It is easy to zap a heart and make it beat, but how do you zap it to make it slow down? Of course, I'm not the doctor and it may very well be possible. We'll see.
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate CHD. I hate that any child has to suffer through any of this.
I wish the Lord would just reach down and heal my baby's heart. And at the same time, I know how incredibly selfish that is. My baby is here and alive, so many aren't that lucky.
I find it almost comical that this is happening now. This seems to be our pattern. Things will be quiet in our house for awhile, then Matthew and Zachy will be hit at the same time. In fact, when Zachy was paced, Matthew had surgery a week later. So it figures that we would be dealing with all we are with Matthew and things would pop up with Zachy!
Anyway, his appointment isn't until the 14TH and I am going to try hard to not think about it until then!!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

Yesterday morning, Zachy was praying for our breakfast.
He was saying, "thank you for the food. Thank you for our family." etc. Then he ended with, "and thank you, thank you, thank you that we are getting a new baby sister".
So sweet! He is so excited and asks all the time if it is Christmas yet.

Just *sigh*

Today is a *sigh* kind of day.
I'm down. I keep saying it's for no good reason, but I just feel blah.
We had a church board meeting last night, and I really don't like the way things went. In fact, there have been a few things that I'm just not really happy with right now.
A wise lady told me last night that there is no perfect church, so we just have to be happy with what we have.
I know this is true. But...*sigh*.
Matt tells me all the time, 'one more year" We leave in one year and then we can just have a fresh start.
My goal is to not be involved heavily in a new church. It is highly over rated being this involved, let me tell ya.
I don't know why I'm even writing any of this. I just feel so down and dumpy today and wish the feeling would go away so I can get on with my happy little life!
In due time, I suppose.

Things learned today

I was reminded today that babies who co-sleep and breastfeed need very few other necessities. I was registering at Target (they give you a $20 gift card to register with them right now..cool!) and realized there just isn't much we need. Which is fine by me..that means more money for fun stuff!
I also decided to tackle washing Emily's carseat. We have one of these.

Do you see all those parts?? When I first bought it, I read reviews about how hard it is to take apart to wash. I believed them, and have always dreaded taking it apart. But tonight I decided to try it. And taking it apart wasn't that hard. Boy was it gross though. Carseats should not go two years without being cleaned. Hopefully, I can get it back together, since taking it apart is only half the challenge!
And finally, I learned that pregnant women, should not wear low cut shirts with no bra. They need to take care of their girls! But more importantly, I don't want to see your saggy boobies!
Oh the valuable things we learn every day!

Week in Review

So the first week of school started out great. With a holiday!
No, just kidding, it was great starting on Tuesday.
But boy, by Friday, we were back in the swing of things and the trials that come with that.
It is amazing to me how much Collin is like Dillon when it comes to school. This isn't a good thing, in case you were wondering.
But Zachy, boy, he just whips right along willing to do everything.
We did lots of baking this week, and quite honestly, I'm exhausted now.
Emily is awfully cute and just sits with us at the table doing her own thing.
Next week I have an OB appointment, I think on Friday, so we will have to be sure get everything done before it.
Wish us luck.

A little bit of this and that

This has been a great week.
The weather has been a bit cooler (OK the 80s, but that's cool for here), and we are finally being blessed with rain. Oh, sweet glorious rain. I love the rain.
I love fall. So much. And if I keep the doors closed, I can pretend that it is fall. But then, I open the doors, and it's hot, and I am reminded once again that things are going to get green instead of orange and red. And that there won't be any snow this winter. It will just be like every other day. So disappointing.
I need to buy some mums, but I haven't seen any in the stores yet. That makes me feel a bit more fallish.
Oh well. Time is flying. Before I know it, I will have a sweet little newborn to snuggle with. And it's a good thing too, since Emily has suddenly decided she is a total daddy's girl. When he's around I'm worthless. Unless, of course, we happen to be at church or somewhere I want to be alone at, then I'm all that will do. Figures. It's alright though, because she is growing up so quickly, and soon she'll want nothing to do with either of us. She has turned into this sweet, silly, HAPPY girl. Given her babyhood, this is shocking to us, almost every single day. I was just telling Matt the other day that I often look at my kids and thank God that we didn't stop after just two. We would be missing out on so much! They are all such a blessing in their own little ways.
OK, the banana bread is baking, the big kids are running lines, and the little three are playing outside. I'm going to kick my feet up for a bit and just relax.

Fat Tummy

Zachy was sitting with me, patting my tummy.
He said, "why do mommies' tummies get fat when a baby is in there?"
I told him because they were growing babies, and asked where else they would grow if not in their mommy's tummy.
He replied, "in the house!" while looking at me like I must not be very smart.

Collin was talking to Emmy when I heard him singing. He was singing "Soon and very Soon" Only instead of "soon and very soon, we are going to see the King" he was singing, "soon and very soon, we are going to have a baby sister". So cute.

Random Dozen

1. What is something that you have changed your mind about either recently or over a number of years?
Oh golly, just one thing? Birth control. Circumcision. What duties I want in the church. Oh the list could go on and on....

2. Choose either subject, but does your a) church b) job feel more like a dental chair experience or an easy chair (recliner) experience?
Honestly, my church life is starting to feel more dental chairish..see number one..too many responsibilities. But it is probably somewhere in the middle.

3. Kisses or hugs?
Depends on whose giving them. I'm quite fond of both from my family. Especially, slobbery Emily kisses!

4. What do you think is the biggest threat to families today?
I think that the biggest threat comes from both parents working full time. The kids are put in school, then to a million extra curricular activities. I have no idea how a family can bond and stay together in that kind of situation. Do they even know each other?

5. A day after you grocery shop, you open a perishable item that is horribly spoiled. Do you take your receipt back to the store to be reimbursed or just throw it away and forget about it?
Just throw it away and forget about it. It would be too much of a pain to take it back. I'm lazy like that.

6. What personality trait (feel free to address good or bad or both) do you notice yourself adopting from your parents?
The Betty Crocker trait. I don't do much other domestically, but I do love to bake for my family.

7. How many slices of bread do you leave in the bottom of the bag when you throw it away? Two? Three? Just the heel? None? (I really want to know if you eat the heel.)
The heels get tossed out. And if there happens to be one piece in with them, it gets tossed too. Can't make a sandwich with just one piece of bread!

8. What mispronunciation or usage error really irritates you?
Pronouncing Oregon as Ore-GONE...not Ore-GUN.

9. In honor of the uniqueness of today's date, what does the numeral 9 mean to you? (Any special life moments attached to the 9th? Are you the 9th kid in your family? Can you count by 9s really fast? etc.)
The number 9 really doesn't mean anything to me. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

10. Does the general color palette in your closet match the colors you chose to decorate your home with?
No, I have much more color in my closet. More blues and greens.

11. When you're hanging out with friends in the kitchen, do you automatically ask to help, or do you sit there and chat until the host asks if you'd like to help? I'm not implying that the 2nd choice stems from rudeness or laziness, just not a first-response like it is for some people.
Depends on whose house I'm at. I normally ask to help.

12. Let's end on a pleasant note: What do you enjoy about September the most?

Well it used to signify fall, my favorite season. But in southern Texas, there really isn't a fall. However, I do have 3 birthdays in August and one in October..so let's face it, I enjoy the extra money! HAHA

Dusting off the cobwebs

Once again, I've fallen off the blogging bandwagon. I don't know how I've managed to keep up a blog for almost ten years now..it's mind boggling to me.
So much has happened since the last time we spoke.
The big one is that Matthew had surgery. Surgery number ten, in case you're keeping count. The morning of surgery, I got a little teary eyed and asked Matt how this became our life. His answer, "because we are blessed". We'll blame my moment of weakness on hormones.
You can blame almost anything on pregnancy hormones, I've found.
So the surgery was kind of hard to explain, and I don't really feel like it, SO, I'll just tell you that is was a laser surgery that reduced the amount of fluid being produced in his eye. Thus, reducing the amount of pressure. His pressure was insanely low the day after surgery, but since then he has complained of pressure pain, and well, I'm not so hopeful anymore. He goes tomorrow for another follow up. We were told, however, that his pressure would spike for a month, and then go down, so maybe it's just spiking. We'll see.
Let me take this moment to tell you one of my pet peeves. I hate it when people (particularly those with a bit of medical knowledge) feel the need to tell me what we need to do for Matthew. Or how things could be improved. Or how there must be some way to get his vision back. You don't know the first thing about Matthew's eye. The doctors don't know much about Matthew's eye. You haven't been following him for the last 13 years and you don't know what's best for him. We, as his parents, are confident in his care, even if it doesn't seem to produce the ideal results. I am not dumb, nor is Matt. And my own dad is an ophthalmologist, so all of this is much more familiar to me than it would be your average Jane!
OK, stepping off my soap box now.
In other news, the boys all got parts in the play they are doing this year. Excalibur! It isn't your typical play though, so it would do me no good to tell you what parts they got because you wouldn't know who they were. Matthew got a pretty large role though, and I worry about him being dedicated enough to memorize his lines. I'm sure he'll be fine though. Dillon got a smaller role.
Collin and Zachary will be a tree and then knights who fight in the tournament. They are thrilled to not have to speak and to be able to sword fight. All's well.
Today, we started school. It went really well, and as usual, I'm thinking this will be the best year ever. This afternoon though, I'm exhausted. Oh well, this too shall pass.
Let's see, what else? Nothing that I can think of. And this is long anyway. Until the next time.

That was fun

I got a coupon in the mail today from Babies R Us.
If I registered with them, I got a $10 gift card.
How could I pass that up?
Now, I fully realize that registering for your sixth baby is quite silly, but it was $10!
So I went. By myself, because Matt's back is really giving him problems.
Oh my. It was so fun. I have most of the essentials so I just went with my little scanner scanning all the fun stuff.
If someone were to look at my registry they would be thinking, "doesn't this girl know about practical items??"
Ok, that's not totally accurate, I did scan some practical stuff!
It's funny to register for a sixth baby, but also, however they set it up, the registry says I want 2 of everything. So I'm extra, extra greedy! Hehe.
For registering, I got a little bag of goodies. One goodie was three teeny tiny diapers. There is nothing that says, "I'm going to have a tiny baby" like seeing the tiny diapers. So cute!!
We also pulled out the infant car seat today to see if it was alive. It's been in the shed for two years now (Em was only in it for a few months because of her reflux, she went into a more upright convertible seat), and there was no telling how it would fare.
But alas, it was fine. Hooray for that!
Anyway, fun baby day today.

Big day yesterday

Yesterday was quite the day.
First of all, Matt got Lasik done. He had a hard time of it. The doctor said he has bigger than normal pupils. He had a really hard time with the brightness afterwards, even with sunglasses, but that seems to be getting better today. Poor thing woke up with a bad back today so he is in more pain in his back than his eyes.
Good news is, he is 20/20 in one eye and 20/15 in the other. Once the brightness issue goes away this will be well worth it for him.
I'm happy for him because he really hated wearing contacts or glasses.
Then in the afternoon, I had an appointment with the perinatalogist.
The tech came in and did the ultra sound and it was awful. The picture wasn't clear at all. I did find out that I have an anterior placenta, which means the placenta is in between the baby and my belly button, as opposed to being between the baby and my spine. It has caused fewer movements to be felt. It's good to know, because honestly, it freaked me out.
The tech wasn't able to get a good look at the baby's face and the baby's legs were crossed again.
I was so upset and was nearly in tears. I told Matt that the ultra sounds were pointless at this point because we couldn't tell much about the heart, or the face, or even the gender.
Now, logically, I know that the reason they even do these ultra sounds is to check for blood flow. To make sure no blood clots are forming in the umbilical cord. But in my head, all I could think about was a fuzzy ultra sound and no news.
The doctor came in and I told her what I had been saying.
She was so kind.
She was able to get much clearer shots. She looked at the baby's face and all looks well there. She was also able to look closely at the heart. She saw two pulmonary veins that look to be draining in the right spot. She'll do a fetal echo at 28 weeks to look further, but as of right now, the heart looks good.
I really have no idea why I think we would repeat a defect, because we always just seem to get new different defects, never repeats. Still, I feel the need to know.
Then she was able to get the baby to move it's legs. She told us she was 90% certain we are having another girl. It was so funny because I asked Matt if that was a good enough percentage and he said, "it is for me!" This cracks me up because last time he would not believe that Emily was a girl.
It was so cute, all night he kept rubbing my belly saying, "we're having another little girl" We are both on cloud nine. We would have been just has happy with a boy, but think it will be so nice for Emmie to have a sister.
We wanted to do something special to tell the kids, so when we got home we baked a strawberry cake. We then frosted it white. They were so excited to see if the cake would be blue or pink. Everyone guessed right except Collin who really wanted a brother. They were so excited to cut the cake!
So good news all around yesterday! I could use more days like yesterday!

Random Acts of Kindness

~~The post that started out with one thought and then got rambly. I should have done a bullet post. Oh well.~~~

On Sabbath, the kids were watching Veggie Tales. There is always a family fun feature on the DVDs so the kids were watching that. They decided that we must do what they were seeing.
We put all our names in a hat, then each person drew a name. For a week, we have to secretly perform random acts of kindness for our person.
I was thrilled that it was the kids who wanted to do this! It has been fun and there have been lots of beds made and rooms cleaned in secret.
Sadly, it is kind of hard to think of what kind of other things one could do without giving themselves away. But it's been really cool to watch the kids.
Totally unrelated, we've taken a big step and turned off the TV. I don't know for how long, but for now, it's off.
We are starting school after Labor Day so I'm trying to get organized for that. Speaking of that, I really should run to the homeschool store and see if the books I need are back in stock.
Tomorrow is another ultra sound. I was doing fine and not even really thinking about it because of OshKosh, but now it feels like tomorrow will never get here. I really want to know who's baking in there!
Also, tomorrow Matt is having surgery on his eyes to correct his vision. Keep him in your prayers please!

Thirteen years ago

Thirteen very short years ago, my title went from being daughter, sister, wife, to the best title in the world. Mother.
I know it is cliche, but it feels like just yesterday that I was pregnant. Well, yesterday (and today) I was pregnant, but I mean heavily pregnant with my first child.
I had no idea what to expect. We were so naive. God sure had other plans for us! We wouldn't get to just play dress up with our new baby, the way most young parents expect to. No, our road would be much more difficult.
And it would change us. All for the better. Through the years, there has been much heartache. Many talks (one sided arguments) with God. Many, many tears.
But the joy that we have had through the years takes those times and fades them into distant memories.
Matthew is such an amazing person. He continues to be artistic and would prefer to draw than to read. He doesn't really like school, but what kid does? He loves the theater and would be in a play all the time if the opportunity presented itself. Just last week, he and his brothers started the audition process for Excalibur. Soon, we should know their parts. It doesn't really matter to Matthew, though, he just wants to be on stage. I wonder where he gets that??
He starts eighth grade this year, which baffles me. How did we already get here? The other day, Emily was doing her little hand in the air saying, "boo boo" (blue's clues) and it took me back to eleven years ago, when Matthew did the exact same thing. It's amazing how much she sounds like he did.
I could go on and on about him, but I think I'll close. I told him that the reason I'm pregnant right now is because when they turn thirteen, we trade them in for newer models. He doesn't seem to believe me..claiming I love him too much to get rid of him. When did he get so smart??
I love you Matthew!

I'm still alive

*sigh* I have no idea why I don't have it in me to post lately.
Well, I do, but I choose to ignore it.
I've just felt down lately, and really not like talking. Honestly, I don't feel like doing anything. If I could be a recluse, I would.
All is well though, in this household.
Except for the fact that I can't seem to keep the housework under control. A friend cleaned my house so well while we were at OshKosh and I look at it today, and it's a wreck. Matthew says we need to hire her, but alas, she has 4 kids of her own to take care of. Plus, I couldn't pay someone enough to take care of this house. I just really don't know how to get a handle on it. Why does it never seem to stay clean???
Anyway, OshKosh was great. The kids all had fun, and so did we. I have pics to share, but you see how well I updated about Disney..OshKosh could be the same.
This is a big week. Matthew's birthday is Monday. I'm having a had time accepting that my first baby is 13. How did that happen? How am I old enough to have a teenager??
On Wednesday, Matt is having surgery on his eyes. It isn't Lasik, and I'm not sure what it is. It will have the same result though..no more glasses. Hooray for Matt! Also on Wednesday, I have an appointment with the peri. Maybe this time the baby will decide to show us the goods. For some reason, I'm not too hopeful. Could be the pessimism I seem to be experiencing right now. I keep telling myself it would be ok to not know, but I sure do want to buy something, and I just can't bring myself to buy a gender neutral onesie. I need to go through baby clothes, but honestly, I have no idea where they are. And all I have is girl clothes, so if this babe is a boy, it would be a waste of time searching for it all. Maybe I need to buy a tiny pack of diapers. I just feel the need to buy something. We've bought nothing this go around. I just have a few big ticket items I need. However, like I said, I have no boy stuff left so if this baby is Tarzan, I have to buy a bunch.
OK, now I'm rambling. I can't stop yawning and I just slept for a couple hours.
Maybe I'm just totally exhausted and if I got more sleep I wouldn't be nearly as down. Who knows.

What we've been up to

I'm awfully sorry I have let my little blog be vacant for so long. I have just been wiped out lately, and haven't had the oomph to update.
So what have we been doing lately?
We are working on potty training. Emily does really well. She just hasn't gotten to the point of telling us she needs to poop, so unless we catch her, it's not nice. Someday, she'll tell us...I hope!
Today, Collin and Zachy went to the dentist. Collin had a tooth wiggled out. He was so scared, but did really, really well. Once he got his happy gas he was good to go.
Zachy had some fillings and sealants, and also did well.
Tarzan is doing well and growing quickly. I had an appointment on Tuesday where we were going to find out the gender. However, someone decided to show us very cute feet that were crossed tightly right in the right place. Oh well. We go back next month, and all that really matters is that everything looks good right now.
In our free time, we are focusing on getting ready to go to OshKosh. We leave in a week and a half. It will be nice to be there and then back home again. It's been an awful lot of planning and I'll be glad to have it done. I am looking forward to it though.
We are also coming up on the big birthday season for us. Zachy's birthday is the 5th and Collin's is on the 10th. We'll be taking them to chuck E cheese before we leave.
And then there is the normal planning for the upcoming school year. That always takes time.
But other than that, life goes on as usual.
I'll try to post something more exciting in another post. Maybe put some pictures up.

Update

Edited to add: my sister told me this sounds like they will be removing his eye in September. No, they will be doing a surgery to help him be comfortable. The doc talked with him about removing his eye because, at some point, that is what will happen.

Today, Matthew had a follow up appointment with the glaucoma doc.
After adding another drop, his pressure was actually higher today than last week.
The doc said it was time to start making some hard decisions. The cornea doc decided it was too soon to say his cornea is failing. But they both agreed that it definitely will. And when it does, it will be painful.
But for now, we have decided to move forward with a laser surgery. It is a procedure that will cause his eye to stop making so much fluid. This will, hopefully, reduce the pressure.
The goal is to keep him as comfortable as possible for as long as possible.
The doctor talked him through the procedure to remove an eye, which made Matthew feel much better.
So, surgery is tentatively scheduled for the first week of September. I do hope it helps him be comfortable!

I'm angry

I am struggling to write this post.
The last thing I ever want to do is cause someone to struggle in their walk because of something I do or say. Please know that these are my own feelings and I do not want anyone else to feel them on account of me. Keep walking strong!
As for me...I'm angry. God and I are having a disagreement right now. And it's OK. He knows I get angry, and He loves me anyway.
Yesterday, Matthew had an eye appointment. If you are new to this blog, Matthew is 12 years old and has glaucoma in his right eye. The goal for the last several years has been to keep the pressure under control in an effort to 1)preserve the tiny amount of vision in that eye (he can see shadows only, which helps him to avoid running into things) and 2)keep him out of pain.
He has been on several different medications over the years. They start out great, but over time, stop working.
We knew we were getting to the end, we just weren't really ready for it.
His drop is no longer working. And now his cornea is swelling. The question is, is it swelling because of the pressure, or because it is failing? No one really knows.
The doctor mentioned a couple different surgeries that would probably destroy any vision, but may reduce the pressure, and possibly the swelling. It would basically be to ease any pain.
The doctor didn't seem to really think that surgery was worth doing because of the loss of vision.
So, if the pressure continues uncontrolled, it will hurt, and the cornea swelling will hurt.
Eventually, he will most likely lose his eye.
Matthew is growing up, and we've talked with him about what he wants. How much more does he want to be put through?
He has decided that he doesn't want to be in pain, and he doesn't want to lose his eye. He wants to do any surgeries, even if they fail, to try and avoid those two scenarios.
The doctor added another drop, I'm not sure why, and we go back on Monday to see how it's working. I think if it helps, it's just a matter of time before it stops, and the doctor said the same thing.
I feel like the last 13 years have been for nothing. All that he has been through, will he end up losing the eye anyway?? Why have we been put through this trial? For nothing.
OK. OK. I know there must be some reason. I just cannot understand how putting a child through so much for nothing, can possibly be God's will. But then, I'm not God, and I don't see the whole picture.
I know some of you are sitting there thinking, 'what's the big deal, it's just an eye, there are much worse things'. Believe me, I know first hand that there are much worse things, but he's my baby..and well, I'm pregnant so everything seems worse.
I think I'm not so upset by this latest appointment, but I feel like we've lost the battle we've fought for so long. The rotten eye won! We'll show it in the end though, when it's removed, never to torment us again!! HA!
I have always said I would gladly give both my eyes, to fix his one eye. I still mean it. What I wouldn't do to take this all away from him. *sigh*
If only it were that easy.
Let me just say though, that Matthew is the most amazing kid. He takes it all, and doesn't let it get him down. It's gotta be hard, but you'd never know it by looking at him. I'm so proud to be his mom.

Maybe we are just too overprotective

So Matthew has swimmer's ear. I had to take him to the doctor to get some drops. I don't know if they do this at all military bases, but here they divide clinics up between pediatric and adolescent. At his last physical, we were told we could keep our same doctor or he could go up to the adolescent clinic. We had decided we would keep the same doctor.
When I called to make his appointment, they had one available, and only one, in the adolescent clinic.
Dillon had a Bible study to go to, so I had Matthew and the younger 3.
They called Matthew back for his vitals and I was in shock.
The huge bulletin board was covered with nothing but info on STDs. And condoms! Yes, condoms in packages hanging on the board. Even a cartoon of cookie monster holding a condom that said, "C is for condom".
There were statistics about if you have X amount of partners, then you are having sex with all these other people. I was really horrified.
How do they get to decide that it is ok to expose my kids to all that. I watched my kids closely and none of them paid attention to the board, but had Dillon been there, it would have been a different story.
There was a very disturbing picture of a guy with herpes all over his mouth. I can imagine Dillon would have been asking me about it.
When it was time to see the doctor, the bulletin board was covered with what to do if you are raped. And on the counter, instead of cotton swabs and tongue depressors was a huge box of condoms...and a diaphragm. OK, if the point is to prevent STDs, why the diaphragm? Matt says because they consider kids an STD.
Anyway, I was really, realy upset. WE should decide when our kids learn about sex and STDs, NOT the government.
I know it is much worse in schools and it reinforced our decision to homeschool.
And you know, it isn't just adolescents going to the clinic. It is younger siblings going with them. Who are they to expose that to my kids??
The doctor also told Matthew that from now on, they would be meeting with him alone in case he had any questions about anything regarding growing up. I don't know about that either. Matthew said there is no way he's talking to a complete stranger about anything personal!
Maybe we are just way too overprotective, I don't know. I just know that we are not comfortable with him going to the adolescent clinic again. Not yet, anyway.

Guess what's coming up??

Guess what Saturday is??
Why the Fourth of July, of course!
But much more importantly....it's our fifteenth wedding anniversary!
I am beyond excited about it, which is silly, because we aren't actually doing anything for it. My in laws will be here the end of next week and I think Matt has plans to take me out then, we'll see.
Fifteen used to seem like such a long time, but looking back, it has gone so very fast. And look at all the little people who have joined the world in the last fifteen years!!
I guess I should save my excitement, for the actual day, but I just felt like writing about it today!

What's Black and Blue and Wet All Over?

Aren't they the most handsome bunch ever? We have been very bad about sunscreen, and it is apparent, that only Zachy can tan. The other three boys stand out like flourescent lights on the team!
Oh, and Zachy made it across the pool today, so he gets to FINALLY swim in the meet on Monday! GO ZACHY!

Rough night

Last night, the kids swam against a team twice as big as ours. With a gazillion coaches.
They definitely had their technique down. Something our team is seriously lacking.
The coach said to me, "Dillon's IM relay got DQed because he told me he could do breaststroke. I'd never seen him do it, but he really can't do it"
He then swam a 25 breaststroke and got DQed. He has no idea how to do the stroke. The coach should have watched him before putting him in a relay.
It is just frustrating because there isn't any specific instruction on how to do the strokes. Practice consists of swimming back and forth. They do work on going off the blocks. So far no one has been taught flip turns.
I guess I just think that with the amount of money we have paid, we should get some better instruction.
Oh well, it's almost over. I think there are only 2 meets left. One dual meet, and one meet with just our team. There is all stars, but my kids don't stand a chance qualifying for that, so it doesn't count.
Collin and Matthew also got DQed in their races last night. But Matthew's free relay placed second. Dillon's did also, and he got second in his 25 free. Collin's relay got fourth. At least they all got ribbons. And ice cream.
We figured it was so rough that they deserved DQ. Dillon was looking at the papers that showed the places and thought since his said DQ that he had done well enough to go to DQ. Funny kid!

Calling all Ergo users

There are just a few big ticket items I want for this baby.
A new swing.
Diapers in size small (we always start in cloth when they are older because we've just never invested in smaller sizes).
And an Ergo carrier. I think.
I have wanted an Ergo since I first heard of them, but the thing is, I don't know anyone who owns one, so other than looking and saying, "that looks GREAT" I haven't heard yay or nay about them.
If any of you have used one, would you mind leaving me a comment to let me know your opinion?
In the past I have been a maya wrap wearer, but the Ergo looks really comfortable.

Swim-a-thon

The younger three kids had their swim-a-thon today.
Talk about a shock.
Dillon swam 40 laps in an hour.
Collin did 30 laps.
Zachy did 16.
I totally expected Zachy to just stop. Now mind you, it wasn't like he did the freestyle all the way across the pool. There was a lot of pushing off the ground and doggy paddling, but he did it. I told him he could quit any time, but he swam the entire time!
Too bad we didn't get any pledges! It's not too late though, you can still pledge!
Matthew swims tomorrow.

Bizarre Dreams

So far, in the month and a half that I've known I'm pregnant, I haven't really stressed about anything being wrong with this baby. My goal is to get through the first trimester without miscarrying.
I think I'm not worried because I have come to learn that truly, God will not give us more than we can handle. I believe this with all my heart, and know that whatever happens, He is in control.
But, somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of my mind, the thought must be lingering.
The last two nights I have had crazy dreams.
The first one, I was at a doctors office. There were three women in the room. The doctor, a nurse, and an ultrasound tech. I recognize them, but they aren't my real doctor and staff. Matt was there too.
They came in with this goop, that was the consistency of hair removal wax. They tell me it's the latest in technology, and they are going to test for defects. They rub the stuff on the inside of my wrist, and Matt's too. We waited, then peeled it off. Matt's was normal, but mine had turned my skin dark red.
They pulled out this card with different colors on it, and declared that red meant my baby had a club foot.
I was trying to reason with them that a physical anomaly like that wouldn't do anything that would cause my skin to emit any kind of different oils or anything. Then I asked how old the test was. It was 5 years old and had only been used 1 other time, but they figured I was a good candidate. Apparently, they tested Matt because the test could tell if he was a carrier of anything.
Totally weird.
Then last night, I dreamt that I was at the dentist office. My crown had come off and I was so worried about it being put back on. I couldn't handle the pain again and I was just panicking. I told them I had been so careful because I was concerned that eating on that side would pull it off, and it had. This is true in real life, I'm very scared of that coming off and having to deal with that pain again.
Anyway, the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a room and was feeling pretty loopy. There were beds all around me with other people on them. I slowly realized that this was the nitrous room and they were gassing us to prepare us for our procedures. At first I thought it was great, but then I realized I was pregnant.
I had to try and get up and make my way to the door, not an easy feat! I finally made it and found the dentist and told him I was gassed and that I was pregnant and would the nitrous hurt my baby. He said, "oh, no, not after 10 weeks, I'm sure you are past that, right?" I said, "NO! I'm 9 weeks 3 days!! What will happen??" He said that before 10 weeks, it would totally reverse all the formation of the spinal cord and I could now be looking at some very serious defects. I was so upset, and yet the next thing I remember was getting that crown back on. And being totally panicked.
I do hope tonight brings some better rest and dreams!
In other pregnancy news, Matt made a delicious looking lasagna the other night, but used turkey meat. Apparently, I haven't had turkey meat since becoming pregnant. I took one bite and couldn't eat any more. What a huge bummer!

Poll

OOH Lookie..I added a poll to the sidebar, down below how big baby Tarzan is. Please vote! Cause it isn't any fun if no one votes!

Clutter!!!

I feel like my house is being over run with clutter. I cannot stand it.
Every time I put away laundry I get so overwhelmed by the clutter.
There is much weeding out to be done before we add a new member to our house!
I used to be able to tame the clutter. Back when I had three kids I was a pretty successful Fly Baby. And I really felt great about the state of my house. We were in a small apartment, but it was clutter free and cozy.
Then, something happened. I really have no idea what.
Perhaps I just got lazy.
I know things really got bad when Emily was born. She has been so demanding that dealing with her and schooling the kids took up all my time. I rarely had a spare 15 minutes to declutter.
Normally, when we move, I'm able to just shovel out all sorts of stuff we don't need. But this time, the movers packed and moved us. No shoveling out. So instead of 2 years of clutter, I'm dealing with 4.
Currently, I feel icky and can barely keep the house clean, never mind decluttering and deep cleaning, but I've decided once I feel better, I'm going to rejoining Flylady and get decluttering. Emily is getting better. Whether it's growing up, or getting on good meds, I'm not sure, but I'm not complaining. I just wish I felt better so I could get going.
Today, I'm just trying to get the house cleaned up since it has literally not been cleaned really well since we got back from Disney. It's awful. I'd be so embarrassed for anyone to come over!
Boy, my life must be pretty uneventful if the only exciting thing I have to write about is clutter!! I guess that's good though...no drama!

Week's update

I am having a really hard time getting motivated to update here. Mainly because I feel pretty crummy right now and just functioning is tough.
I'm nine weeks now and am hoping to be feeling better soon. I really hope.
Speaking of baby Tarzan, I had my appointment with the OB on Wednesday. I had been to the perinatologist the week before and had an ultrasound so assumed I wouldn't get one on Wednesday. But I was wrong. Ahhhh, such a sweet, sweet sight. I'm telling you, seeing wee little babies never gets old, it's so great.
I had told you that Collin would be competing in the swim meet last Monday, and he did. It was their first meet and they did great.
Matthew swam a 50 breaststroke and a 50 freestyle. He placed fourth in both events. He also swam a relay which they placed second.
I think he would have done better in the breast, but he forgot to put his goggles on his eyes, so swam half of the race with his eyes closed. He was going fast, but zigzagging. Monday is another meet, I think he is swimming the same events. It will be neat to see if he beats his times.
Dillon swam a 25 free and a free relay. He placed fourth in his race and his team placed first in the relay.
Collin swam a 25 free and also got fourth. He was sooo cute!
The coach wanted Zachy to try to get across the pool today so he could swim on Monday, but he didn't want to. Maybe next week.
The current issue on my mind is that they all have to raise $50. They are swimming a swimathon next week, but we don't really know anyone to pledge anything. We need to call family, but I'm sure they get sick of us asking to help raise money!
Next week is VBS and I'm not sure how much the kids will participate. The first night is the meet, so we won't be there for VBS. And morning sickness hits me hard at nighttime so I don't know if I will be worth anything. We'll see.
Anyway, I think that's about all for now.

Indescribable

I have heard this song many, many times, but it wasn't until we started singing it as our monthly theme song that I paid attention to the lyrics.
Man, this is the most powerful song I have heard in a long time.
I added it to my playlist, down at the bottom, you can click through till you get to it to hear it. But here are the lyrics...

Indescribable, Chris Tomlin

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

The most amazing line in this song is "
You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same.

PRAISE THE LORD!! Can you imagine?? A love like that? It is hard to wrap my head around. I mean, no one knows anyone's heart fully...and if we did, would we still love certain people? But to God, it doesn't matter, no matter what our hearts are like, He loves us! Amazing. It gives me chills.

Just amazing.

He did it!

I've mentioned before that the boys are all swimming on swim team this year. For Zachy and Collin it has been more of swimming lessons. The little ones who don't know their strokes go to one side and get instructed on how to swim. Glorified swimming lessons..only cheaper!
Last week, Collin would try to go and just sink down. No forward movement. Just down like a lead brick.
The problem was his kick. He never kicked from his hips, only his knees.
So, we would try to start, go down. Come up. Push off the ground in a forward motion. Try again. Sink. But he would get somewhere from pushing off the ground.
Friday, he asked me if he could go with the other kids because he could do it now.
I wasn't so sure, and I told him we had to talk to his coach.
They have a meet on Monday and she said she had several kids she needed to test, because if you can't make it across the pool, you can't swim in the meet. So she said she would test him at the end of practice.
Six of them were tested. Two made it across the pool without any stopping or hanging on lane lines. Collin was one.
So, not only does he get to move to the other group, he will be competing on Monday. We are so excited for him and so proud.
Zachy is not ok with Collin leaving him, but he'll get over it. And he is really close to getting across the pool as well. So it's only a matter of time and they'll be together again.
I can't wait till Monday to watch my boys swim in their first swim meet.
Speaking of that, Matthew got to choose what event he wanted to do. He chose breaststroke! He said that is the hardest stroke he's learned so far so he wants to swim it.
Dillon is swimming freestyle, and he's in a free relay.
It should be loads of fun!

That's one way to do it

Today in Sabbath School the teacher was talking about something when Collin quietly raised his hand.
The teacher called on him, but was confused because she hadn't asked any questions and was just going over part of the lessons.
He then proceeded to say, "we are getting another baby"
To which she responded, "oh, are you going to the store to buy a baby?"
"No, it's in my mommy's tummy, we already saw a picture and she is this (fingers together) little"
He went on to tell everyone that this baby will be here around Christmas and that he is so excited!
So, a secret we have been keeping is now out of the bag so I figured I'd share it here as well.
Yes, baby Tarzan is indeed in Collin's mommy's tummy and will be here around Christmas.

My bad

My grandma reminded me last night that I hadn't updated about Emily. I'm so sorry. Sometimes you just start a new regimen and forget that you told the world you would keep them informed!
So without further ado...the results of her scoping were all perfectly normal.
Which is good, but still no answers.
The doc changed her meds from an acid neutralizer to Reglan, which will help her tummy empty faster and I guess therefore preventing excess acid??
She started that on Tuesday night. She takes it three times a day, and I told Matt this morning that she actually slept pretty good last night. Whether it's a coincidence remains to be seen.
I do hope it helps her and the poor thing can finally be pain free.

So easy

It's amazing to me how easy it is to get out of the habit of blogging. A couple weeks away and it takes an awful lot to get me going again.
Since being home it's been go go go. It sure would be nice to ease back into life after vacation. But alas. Full speed ahead!
I will try to do better, and I do need to post about Disney, but right now I am so dang busy gearing up for the kids to start school next week. All the boys started swim team this week, so there's that too. Then the normal stuff.
They went to the dentist yesterday, all five of them. Collin has a front tooth that is just hanging on for dear life, while the permanent tooth is trying to tell it to hit the road. He is not a wiggler, which is making me nuts. We have 2 months to get it out while waiting on insurance. It would be REALLY nice if he would get it out on his own so he doesn't have to go through that, and we don't have to pay for it! I told him he MUST wiggle. Zachy has a cavity that needs filling, just a tiny one because they aren't even using novacaine..just a little gas. They kept commenting on how white all their teeth were. This is truly an act of God because we certainly aren't great oral hygeine people. We make the kids brush their teeth, but I don't possibly see how they can be doing such a great job, cause really, they are in the bathroom maybe 30 seconds.
Oh yes, Em's scoping. Basically, we still know nothing. The doc took a bunch of biopsies and will be calling us Monday with the results. But no ulcers, so that is good. I asked if you can just reflux just because, and what if all the results are negative. He said we'd discuss that Monday. I just want her to feel good. Her current meds help, but not loads. She still hurts and still gets her awful, painful, juicy hiccups. Hopefully, we will figure out what we can do to help the poor thing.
Well, the natives are restless and there is much to be done today.

Home

We are home safe and sound. Everything was wonderful. The condo that I worried about was great. Silly me for worrying.
I have much to write about how I love Disney, but for now I just wanted to let y'all know we are home...and pooped.
As a side note, tomorrow Emily has her endoscopy..please pray for some answers!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

Hi ho, hi ho..it's off to Disney we go..
We leave first thing in the morning.
Instead of being excited, it's been a super rough day.
Em has cried almost nonstop, and I did something to my back. It hurts so bad when I move and I'm praying it gets better before we actually get to Disney. Right now, I'm sitting here with a heating pad, but when I move it just sends shooting pains. Not good.
But alas..we are off to the happiest place on earth! What could be better than following this day with that?!?!
We're taking our laptop and I may or may not post. Our condo charges for wi-fi but maybe we can hit a McDs or something with free access. We'll see.
I'm exhausted and still have much to do. Emily is screaming. I just wanted to pop on and said adios amigos!

Update on the concern

So last night I laid awake and just thought and thought.
Here's the conclusion I came up with.
First, most of the complaints came from owners of timeshares. We are not owners, and I have heard that guests are treated better than owners there because they want you to buy.
Second, most people don't write reports when they are satisfies with a place. They write reports when they are mad and want to spread the word.
One issue reported was the sheer size of the place. And on all the sites I found maybe a total of 100 reviews. Some were even repeats from people who were really steamed. Admittedly, there were some great reports. It seems to be reports of greatness or lousiness...no middle ground.
I just got an email from a dear friend of ours who has actually stayed there and he told me that it is a great place to stay.
So, with that in mind, I am going to go with a great attitude and a firm NO.
I'm so excited about this vacation and just want it to be perfect so I am really thinking hard about things I may not have before.
And besides, we have lived in some dives before..if it turned out to be a total dive, at least we're only there two weeks, right???

Very Concerned

We are going to be staying at a timeshare in Florida. Through the military. It was one of the few that had occupancy allowances great enough for our family.
The problem is, the place doesn't get great reviews.
I had read these reviews in the past, and was a bit worried, but really didn't have much choice, because of the occupancy thing.
Now, I'm reading more reviews, and I am worried.
Oh, I am so scared that our condo will be nasty, or that it will be super loud, or that our van will be broken into...all things mentioned in reviews. And they are supposedly super pushy about trying to sell you a timeshare. Which, I can deal with..it's the other stuff that really worries me.
I keep trying to tell myself that we will mostly be at the parks, but I have a pit in my stomach that just won't go away. *sigh*
I suppose I just need to think of it as an adventure!

When we have a baby boy......

Zachy often talks about when we have a baby boy. I try to tell him that he is my baby boy, and I get a look of, "get real mom!!"

One thing he is adamant about is that when we have a baby boy, we must name him Tarzan. If you've been reading for a long time, you know that he wanted to name Emily, Tarzan. He says it is because Tarzan is just "ho, ho cute" (so so cute). And don't you agree???




The other day we were at the outlet mall, and the strollers were in the shapes of cars.
Zachy said, "when we have a baby boy, can we come back here so he can ride in one of those cars??"
It was ho, ho cute.

Things to do before Disney

The time is getting near! So very excited.
Things left to do:

~get the van's oil changed and all that good stuff that they do.

~get haircut

~oh yes, pack

~and most importantly, NOT contract swine flu. Yes it is here. Right here. Schools are closed, parks are closed, we cancelled Pathfinders and adventurers tonight as a precaution. I am actually looking forward to getting out of Texas. I realize there will be lots of germs at Disney, but this all just seems RIGHT HERE.
Must focus on a wonderful vacation!!

Best gift ever

Back in 2001, my in laws bought Matthew and Dillon sit and spins for Christmas.
They used to light up and play music. To change the batteries is a huge undertaking, so we never have.
They still hold the same attraction they did way back then.

Later Gators

We're off to the condo for a few days.
I'll see ya when we get back..and then it will almost be time for Disney baby!!!
WOOHOO!!!!!

Busy busy

The feet have been pedicured. The nails manicured. The brows waxed. And the pocketbook exhausted.
Well, not really, about the pocketbook, but my mom and I have been having loads of girl time fun.
Today was spent shopping. Only not very fun shopping. But she had a good time, and really, I'm all about pleasing the madre!
Tomorrow we are headed out of town to a condo in a neighboring town. Time for some R and R, in time for our Disney adventure!
The boys are all with grandpa down at the beach today, and it occurred to me that I didn't send them with sunscreen, so my boys will likely be burnt to a crisp! Poor fellas!
Matt and my mom are currently making homemade spaghetti and Emmie is looking at pictures of babies and "talking" to them.
Good times y'all..good times.

Please, oh please forgive me!!

I was on such a roll. Posting once a day, sometimes twice. And I know you were all just dying to read the next entry from me.
Then, my mom called and said, "we'll be there early!" And ta-da..they were here!!
So, yesterday was spent cleaning up and being with my mom. Today too.
Well, actually, today was a different story. Filled with a trip to the doctor for my UTI, a trip to the pharmacy, and a trip to a neighboring town to pick up baptism gowns. What a pain all of that was.
I'm going to try to write a real entry tomorrow, but right now, my mom is calling! Must obey!

Darn that DQ

I know..two posts in one day...when I'm supposed to be seriously working here...what am I thinking?!?!?
I'll tell you what I'm thinking.
I'm thinking why oh why is DQ advertising a chocolate truffle blizzard?
How can they do this to me???
Do you know how heavenly that sounds??
How badly I want to shimmy right on over there and devour one??
I need to vacuum the van out, and wash it. There is a car wash right next door to a DQ! I keep thinking, "hmmm, I'll just go clean the van and snag a blizzard while I'm out!" ACK!!
They I have every intention of sabotaging my weight loss efforts, I'm sure of it!
Them and the stupid makers of Easter candy!!
MUST. RESIST.

Edited to add...I was searching for a yummy looking picture to go with this post when I came across the horrifying news that one medium sized blizzard has 1020 calories!!! Are you kidding me?!?!?! Why? WHY? WHY?!?!?!?

Oh me, Oh my

So much to do...so little time.
And yet, I find time to write in my little blog.
We all have to have priorities...right?!?!
My mom and step dad are coming to visit on Friday.
Collin is bouncing off the walls about this. And the great news is, their room is spic and span because he is so excited that they are coming. Not only are they coming to visit..but they are staying for a sleepover!
However, I still have so much to do.
I have to be at the church every night until Friday night. And that is just wreaking havoc on my plans to get my house in order.
I want need to get my house clean, the van clean, the lawns mowed, and the garage clean.
These things would be trucking along at a much quicker pace if it weren't for the week of illness that gripped our family.
I'm so far behind on laundry because I spent last week washing the germy laundry.
This is our last week of school until June, so I have to push the kids to get the current lessons finished up so we are at a good stopping point.
Oh my, I cannot wait for our vacation. Which, incidentally, will be upon us before we know it and there is still a lot of shopping to be done before then.
If anyone wants to come and clean my house for me, I'm all for it!!

This is not good, not good at all...

Yesterday was our nephew's birthday.
He is the eldest child of Matt's brother.
He turned five years old.
Five is a big milestone. It is going from little boy, to big boy. It's a rough one for many mommies.
As I was thinking about him and how his mommy must be feeling, this thought popped into my head...'he's five, they still get 13 years with him, that's good'.
OK, now, I realize this may sound illogical. But in my twisted little head, people grow up and get married when they turn 18. It happened that way for me, why not everyone? I realize that in reality, we are the minority. Oh, I hope so.
Because the very next thought in my head was, 'oh dear...Matthew is almost 13, leaving us a mere 5 years with him'

FIVE YEARS?!?!?!

NO!! This cannot be. That isn't long enough!!!

People used to say we would be so glad when our kids get to be that age, and we will want them to leave.

I cannot see that happening. I can't fathom it.

We only have five years to get things right. I worry every day about screwing up my kids, and somewhere in the back of my mind I figure we'll get it right...one of these days.

But one of these days is going to be here and gone before I get it right.

This isn't good. Five years?? Five more years to be able to fully enjoy my boy? The one who made me a mother? The one who means so much to me? The one who makes me laugh every. single. day?

I'm sure I'm overreacting, and maybe he won't fly the coop in five years. And even if he does, that doesn't mean our relationship is over. But it will never be the same. When he flies, he'll take a piece of my heart.

How did we get here?

One of my favorite songs has always been 'Beautiful Boy' by John Lennon. Mainly because of one line...

Life is what happens to you
while your busy making other plans.

Boy, isn't that the truth.

I'm vowing to embrace every moment with my kids, because they are gone, way too fast.



Can I just say that my biggest desire for him is that in five years, in twenty-five years, for the rest of his life that he is still unashamed to say he loves Jesus.

*yes, I realize this is all a bit dramatic, but it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I had to write it down.

Happy Easter

"He is Risen" By Del Parson

Now, after the Sabbath, as the first day of the week began to dawn, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door,[a] and sat on it. His countenance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow. And the guards shook for fear of him, and became like dead men.
But the angel answered and said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.
--Matthew 28:1-6

And Jesus Christ our Lord was shown to be the Son of God when God powerfully raised him from the dead by means of the Holy Spirit. Through Christ, God has given us the privilege and authority to tell Gentiles everywhere what God has done for them, so that they will believe and obey him, bringing glory to his name. Romans 1:4-5 (NLT)

Go ME!!

I have lost 20 pounds! GO ME!!
In January, I set a goal to lose 20 pounds by the time we went to Disney World. Everyone said that would be so easy, but it hasn't. It's been very, very hard. And I've wanted to quit many times, but I kept on pushing forward.
I don't know if I can count the last 2 1/2 pounds because they are a result of my time with the porcelain throne yesterday, but I'm counting them anyway!
What totally stinks though, is that after 20 pounds, you really can't tell a difference in the way I look. Tells you how much I still have to lose!
But still, I'm proud of me.

HOORAY

Last man standing

Matthew, Zachy, and Dillon all succumbed to this bug last night.
Leaving me the last man standing.
Only, I don't know how long I'll be standing...not feeling so hot right now.
At least, though, we are getting it all over with. My mom is supposed to come visit the end of next week, so I'm glad to have had this and be done with it.

One of these girls

ONE OF THESE GIRLS



IS NOT LIKE THE OTHERS



ONE OF THESE GIRLS



JUST DOESN'T BELONG



OR



DOES SHE??!!



I think we'll be paying better attention to where the markers are!

Science Fair

We are now up to three people affected by this intestinal bug. Matt didn't make it through the night last night.
But since I know you all don't want to hear about any of this, how about some pictures from the science fair??
In no particular order because I'm lazy!


Dillon being judged.



Collin talking with his first judge.





Zachy and Collin did theirs together.



Waiting on judges..




Emily ran around all day making silly faces with her shirt...she's a nut.






What happens when you have baby fine hair that's been in piggie tails all day when you decide to take them out!



Look at all the people.



Matthew being judged.


So there you have it...the science fair in a nut shell. The kids had a great time and it was such a good experience. They're already talking about what to do next year!